RP Confession Thread

[Larson]

I don't care what you are at the other end so long as you aren't malicious or cause a mess for people.

 

I work on this simple premise.. you are all this guy in my head, so I have no illusions. (though this is an anti-illusion)

 

I am here to RP and play with others, your physical appearance and gender etc.. don't matter to me.

 

And then they end up looking like this in reality

 

/sweats profusely

 

Lol all jokes aside though.

Actually I know one that does look like that.

[Aaron]

I do too surprisingly.

 

Too bad I won't pursue her. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

[rainichan]

On the internet, guys are guys, girls are guys, and kids are cops in disguise.

 

Jokes aside, I know a lot of guys who play women, and a lot of women who play guys, so I kind of do what Aaron said he does: assume they are that gender until told otherwise, though I know internet arpees is dominated by women (I did a lot of LJ/DWRP and that hobby is like 94% women, 6% men, at least when I was active in it.) Not sure about the stats on FFXIV, so I won't comment there.

 

On topic: I like lore. Love it. I love worldbuilding (one of my favourite series, Ar tonelico and in part Ar nosurge/Ciel nosurge, is HUGE on worldbuilding, lore, and even have their own full constructed languages for the game universe - MULTIPLE constructed languages, in fact!) but... I'm not a huge lore stickler. It might not gel with others well, but if you can make it believable, run with it. I do it. I know others do it. Just make it work in some way and I'm cool with whatever you throw at me.

 

...I'm also shiptrash but that was probably a given.

 

I'm horrendously shy generally, and there are plenty of people I've seen here and others I follow on tumblr and I go ":O I KNOW THEM! They're (whoever) on the rpc/tumblr!" and then when I think to wave or something I chicken out. So I'll forever be the creeper who knows people and will internally be excited I saw you but probably never say anything (probably. Maybe some day I will!)

 

And while it's not really a confession because I think most are like this: I love fluff. Sappy cute stuff. But I wholly enjoy hurting my characters just as much as I love the cute shoujo sparkles doki doki stuff. I don't think I've had enough of that yet in game, it'll have to happen eventually.

[Illae]

1.   I know it sounds weird and stalkerish, but I either always ask  the person I am ERPing with  if they are over 18 or if I do not ask, then I have checked threads and found out that way, generally from the Who are you?  ooc threads. 

 

2.  I am that weird person that will always point out something detrimental to my character that I think someone might have forgotten, because..  it would not be fair and right to not mention it  *beats self in the head*  I am also that weird person who speaks out and calls people on their BS as long as that BS is not aimed at me.  I have my limit and things I will not tolerate, but very much a mother bear with my friend/rp partners

 

3.  Shy about new people and even my friends sometimes both ic and ooc.  They complain that I am secretive and very difficult to get to know occly.  I say it is just because they never ask the right questions :-P

 

4.  I do not care what gender the person behind the screen is.  I have friends who were born one sex and made the life choice to go with the sex that they felt was right.  If I refer to you oocly as he/she/it please do not feel offended or if I refer to you by the sex of your character, also do not feel offended.

[Miss Gaz]

I now play hearthstone while rping Im terrible.

[Blue]

1.   I know it sounds weird and stalkerish, but I either always ask  the person I am ERPing with  if they are over 18 or if I do not ask, then I have checked threads and found out that way, generally from the Who are you?  ooc threads. 

 

 

Everyone should do that. ERPing with someone under 18 can get you in legal trouble.

[Kowa]

ugh god

 

So I started RPing in earnest on Gaia Online - I'd done some forum stuff before then but nothing too serious - and I think it kind of locked me into the one-one-one mindset, since on Gaia RP groups (usually accompanied by threads with complicated graphics and text formatting and players posting paragraphs about tying shoelaces in the name of advanced lit) never lasted long and one-on-one stuff was easier to manage and more reliable. 

 

From this, I fell into the habit of creating characters with someone and tormenting them and/or metaphorically smushing their faces together and screaming NOW KISS. The most important part of it for me though was the extensive OOC communication. I loved the idea of creating a world with someone that's fun and lush with ideas and sometimes branches off into alternate universes and whatnot. I've had RP partnerships that have lasted years.

 

THE THING IS.

 

I haven't found an RP partner yet on FFXIV to do mushy gross shiptrash things with and create extensive character lore and be sadistic with and generally have a heavy level of involvement. And that bugs me more than it should and it just sounds childish and ugh

 

Also people tend to assume (rightfully so, you do have to be cautious) that you're some sort of creeper looking for an OOC relationship when you bring up intense RP partnership, so then I get nervous, and then end up hovering in the QS never talking to anyone ever and just being involved in my friends' plots and in FC RP, but not really having exactly my itch scratched.

[CleverBlitz]

1.  I tend to OOCly respect characters more that started out as relatively simple concepts, who grew to something or a place of power, rather than beginning all-powerful with abilities that make them a power-unicorn.

 

2.  Half-breeds in settings that don't have them in the lore made by players who pick and choose which traits of which races they want into a character that is essentially a genetic snowflake.  No thank you.  Especially the sorts that become 3000 year old all-powerful creatures with the mind of a 12 year old who turns into some sort of wisdom god when put into situations that could kill them.

 

3.  I dislike joining new communities.  If only because my past experiences over months of attempting to OOCly and ICly network into communities that ultimately either lacked the activity I was willing to put forward, or paid little attention to those who had not been around for years upon years.

 

4.  RP flakes.  Please, please know that I do have a life and I -totally- understand when curveballs get thrown, but if I engage in a thread or RP scenario, I expect it to be paid attention to regularly.  I have been to far too many site-only RP forums that claimed to be active but could not be bothered to keep up on their threads at least once per week.  If people have to take a little bit?  That's fine, but -let the group know-.  Communication is essential to good RP.

 

5.  I am an RP addict.  While I do have preferences as to the IC scenarios I might go into with specific characters (mostly based on whether it would be plausible for them to partake) I do try to partake in as much RP as I can.  This includes websites (so long as they stay active), Skype, and in-game.

 

6.  I do not like reading the thoughts of characters that are not my own unless there is an IC reason behind somehow knowing what the other characters are thinking.  I understand that it is up to the writer, and I respect most RP of that type thrown my way, but when it gets down to *John looked over at Caitlyn after she spoke.  He always knew she was an idiot, and her words only continued to prove that opinion.*-type of stuff, where the player is conveying negativity and insult/condescension of other characters?  I have seen it happen too many times and it strikes a nerve.

 

7.  If you give me the opportunity to write about something I actually have inspiration or an opinion about, my responses will vary from short, perhaps one-liners to wall of texts, and I apologize for both.

 

8.  My first character broke lore, and I didn't read the lore of the world before RPing in it.  Rookie mistake, but at the same time, it taught me that there are really two negative types of people in communities: Elites who think they can snub other players to improve the community by "culling the bads", and the ones who are so deep into the "do whatever you want, even if it shatters the lore!" mindset that they can't truly help the new RPers establish solid roots.  Since the day I made my first "world-fitting" character, I have always tried to not only help others with their characters when they ask for it, but to include as many people as would ICly fit into the RP I'm involved in.  Only way to have a strong community is to cultivate open attitudes toward new and veteran RPers who genuinely want to try and bring positive mindsets to the table.

 

9. (See?  Wall of Text, sorry!)  I have a strong personality that I try to keep the leash on, but when I join something and it fails to meet the standard I was lead to believe it would have, I tend to push and speak up very clearly and frequently.  I recognize this can clash with other people's preferences of how they like to lead (or follow), but I like a certain level of organization and leadership when I take the time to contribute to projects I did not begin, myself.  I'm not going to try and take over if I enter FC's, Communities, Linkshells, whatever, but I can not be trusted to simply overlook things that I find unsatisfactory.  I speak up, and my characters do, too.  They typically have strong personalities, whether they are hidden for some reason or totally out in the open, they are present.

[Teadrinker]

A lot of stuff in this thread just seems pretty natural and yet everyone is ashamed or made to feel ashamed of it.

[CleverBlitz]

A lot of stuff in this thread just seems pretty natural and yet everyone is ashamed or made to feel ashamed of it.

 

I think it's less of shame and more a place to display opinions without people trying too hard to pick it all apart.  And I forgot to add one last deal.

 

10.  Traumatic historic events/mental conditions.  I'm ok with people RPing them.  If your character has been afflicted with mental disorders, been raped, abused as a child, whatever?  That's fine.  What I don't like is how casually people use it in RP.  Your character can have trauma in their background, but please, for the sake of RP, don't use PTSD, rape, abusive history, other traumatic events/disorders as a casual attention-seeking crutch.  It feels iffy and disrespectful to real-world sufferers.  And DEFINITELY DON'T try to pull others into your traumatic event without first talking to them OOC.  I've been lead to a rape scene by an RPer before without even the slightest bit of warning.  It was poorly done and I had no heads-up, which was the part that really, really irritated me.  If I had been warned or asked first, I may have consented or been able to tell them "no thanks", but that was not the case.

[Garalona]

On vacation and this bed is terrible, so I can't sleep... WHICH MEANS LATE NIGHT CONFESSIONS!

 

1.) You know the deal by now. Social anxiety, all that. My method of dealing with it is to point Gara at people like a missile and roll with whatever happens, whether they're angry she barged in, taken aback, flattered, whatever. It's interaction. I generally try to avoid private moments... geberally. I'm not above going OI WHAT'RE Y' TALKIN' ABOUT if cryptic things are being said in public.

 

2.) Also same as many others, ERP bores me to tears. I used to go along with, feeling that I had no choice, so one time I made a sandwich while ERPing. I did this because I'd get so bored I'd 'finish' to quickly and the other party would get mad, so I figured sandwhich prep was one way to drag things out. Spread the mayonnaise (heh), post a line, add ham, post a line, etc. by the end of it I was posting one handed, but only because I was eating the sandwhich with the other hand. These days if it comes to that I just fade to black.

 

3.) I have a host of health problems I won't bother detailing. They eat into both my regular game time and my RP time. I feel bad I have to cut things short sometimes, but I physically cannot handle marathon RP seasons. I prefer to find an IC reason to leave than to pause a scene, as I hate leaving things in limbo when other things could be going on for all parties involved.

 

4.) I hate chat based RP. Long story. I much prefer running around in game snapping screenshots of interactions on the fly than having to describe absolutely everything in a chat box. Personal preference. Nobody gets my Skype but very close friends and the dorks I D&D with over voice chat... And hell, I hate Skype as a chatting platform as it is.

 

5.) I don't really have a problem with any given character concept, personally. I mean I'm 31, the only thing that's gonna make me lose sleep is the fact the mattress I'm currently laying on is as hard as a fucking rock. My character may go "okaaaaaay" when they run into it in game, but that's the extent of it. Everybody starts somewhere, right? That person is probably gonna look back and shake their heads over it, too, just like I do over my early RP. With that in mind, I'll roll with anything for the duration of a scene.

[LadyRochester]

Here's an actual confession instead of a rant from me (for once.)

 

I'm too much of a pussy to tell people when their characters/rp  is too boring for me, so I stick it out and whine in my head until it's over. If this becomes a common occurrence, I slowly begin to ignore them more and more until I fade completely and they just.. Stop messaging me or requesting RP. I don't want to offend people so I do this more than I'm proud to admit...

[Steel Wolf]

I confess that I am just the worst when it comes to being in a guild, but being unguilded pretty much stone walls me out of all the RP because leaving a guild makes me feel that I've burned my bridges in an orbital strike.

 

I need help, in other words.

[Aaron]

If I suddenly start breaking the fourth wall with puns and such IC, I'm probably high irl.

[Alothia]

1. I'm a sucker for romantic RP. I just love that whole building up between two characters.

 

2. I'm super embarrassed about some of my RP partner choices, especially when it came to emotional manipulation. I allowed myself to be in those situations, and I look back on those times and cringe.

 

3. I really also like stupid fluffy RP. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I can't be super serious all the time.

 

4. I don't judge people for what they RP...but I definitely judge people based on how they write. If you have poor grammar and spelling, and it's not because English is a second language or something...I can't help it. Doesn't mean I won't be nice, or that I won't RP with you. But in my head, I can't stop silently correcting every mistake. Yay for being an English teacher.

 

5. I really don't understand why some people RP. Like, you don't take it seriously at all ever. Why do it? It's almost as if some people are just Troll RPers, and that hurts my soul.

[Larson]

I have yet to RP with a Miqote.

[Teadrinker]

I have yet to RP with a Miqote.

 

Out of choice or..?

[Teadrinker]

I keep getting attracted to the edgyest fucking characters no matter what I do.

 

Even if it's just a random walkup I start talking to them or pull up a wiki and lo and behold I've just started a conversation with Edgy Mc Edgerson who's secret desire is to be Alucard while he hears the lamantations of wimmin and "just can't love you baby because I can't get you pulled into my world."

 

/wrist

[Kylin]

1)

I have not stopped roleplaying since 2010.

 

Same here. I at most took a single month hiatus once, but have remained active in game and RP since 1.0. Which leads me to number 2 and 3...

 

2) While I most certainly don't live in the past, there are times I actually get mildly depressed over never getting the chance to RP with certain people that have been on my 'want to RP with' list since the dawn of time. And by 'want to rp,' I mean actual long term interactions and/or storylines. A lot of the people I came to XIV with or those who I've always had a strong urge to RP with have gone down separate paths that simply don't intersect with my path. It's nobody's fault really, as this happens in real life too. But it's still something I think on a lot more than I should. And while I've reached out OOCly to some of these people to express this desire and received positive responses, it still doesn't end up happening due to time limitations or other happenings.

 

3) This is the one I feel most horrible about... Despite the insane number of new faces in the RP community that are always visible, I have barely any desire at all to RP with them. Horrible, I know. It's nothing against them either. At all. I'm not even sure why I feel this way. Maybe it ties into the above reason. Maybe it has something to do with getting burned by flakes that come and go, consistently leaving my characters crippled in their absence. I'm not 100% sure.  I see public events posted and pass by them in game all the time and I simply just keep going, thinking to myself that nothing will come of it. I figure I'll likely just end up standing around quietly, maybe say hi to 1-2 random people, and that'll be the end of it. Against my better judgement, I have largely isolated myself to my linkshell/FC under the premise of 'stability.' And even though I recognize that I'm doing this, I for some reason don't actually make any big effort to change it.

 

4) I pretty much have no regrets regarding my four years of RPC administration from 2010 to 2014. While I'm sure many will argue excessively that I should, I legitimately don't. The only real regrets I do have are in regards to three ideas I had that were to be sponsored by the RPC that never took off: "Epic," "Eorzean Olympics," and the IC 'RPC' (Research Paragons of Chronology) concept to serve as a neutral medium for both of these events and other inter-group interactions.  But at the size the community has grown to, the concepts likely wouldn't work out all too well anymore anyway. So it probably all worked out for the best.

 

5) Sometimes I get more excited talking about RP, than actually RPing >.>;. A lot of tidbits about characters don't ever get revealed in live RP for whatever reason, so I love when opportunity comes to reveal these little character tidbits that nobody else ever actually sees. I'm -very- thorough in my character development, even if it may not seem like it during some scenes. There's a reason for every single thing that my characters do.

[-no longer matters-]

When I meet to many people with similar names or concepts that aren't apart of a connected story with me.. It makes me want to stop what I'm doing find a new angle or make a new character.

 

I don't always act on that impulse, but it sits in my mind for a bit til I overcome it or give in.

[Dravus]

I have yet to RP with a Miqote.

 

Not even in passing?

[Sigil.9054]

I totally screwed up my character's life because it turns out I like the looks of the Au Ra better than the Miqo'te. >>;

[SessionZero]

I roleplayed in several games before FFXIV (WoW, GW2, SW:TOR just to name a few) and I have to say that FFXIV is the first one to legitimately make me jaded about RP. Maybe I've just been unlucky in this game so far but in every other instance of RPing in a game in the past, I've been able to make good connections, keep them, and craft long, elaborate plotlines that span multiple arcs. I met wonderful people and had a blast.

 

In FFXIV this has yet to happen with anyone but my friends in Mysterium. I can't count the number of failed guilds, dropped plots, disappearing characters, and OOC drama breakdowns that have assailed me in this game. It's led to me often feeling cynical and jaded about the RP aspect of the game, and has led to me moving even further towards the light RP/heavy PvE side of the spectrum because my immediate assumption about anyone that I meet is that they will flake or prove to be absolutely insufferable OOC.

 

Edit: Not to say I'm not enjoying myself. I just have more or less stopped wandering outside of Mysterium, is all.

 

[Garalona]

^on my phone so quoting doesn't work well, but it's funny you say that cause I've had the exact opposite experience. Terrible things happened in other RP communities, WoW in particular, but I've had a blast in FFXIV.

 

But then I've also stopped worrying too much about, well, anything and just focus on enjoying myself as much as I can. One way or another, as I see it, I'm going to walk away with stories to tell.

 

Before this I was incredibly bitter and jaded, too. Now I feel really content just drifting around from event to event to random walk-up before falling back on my FC, who are good folks, too.

 

I think not worrying too much about my character's story too much, and, ironically, making her a bitter reflection of sorts, helped a lot. Taking things as they come has led to a lot of unexpected twists and I love it.

[Eddard]

I still can't decide on what it is but something about DMing in an MMO intimidates me far more than in a tabletop game to the extent where I constantly convince myself I can't do it despite how much I want to. I'll have ideas that I'm confident will be very fun and am told they sound fun but I never get to them thanks to the mindset that some incapability of mine will make it all go to shit and I'll waste everyone's time. What's worse is that I've said several times "I'm cooking up X event and will be hosting it soon!" just to let those words fade and never have it happen. It'd never result in characters being caught in a dead arc since I could never start the damn thing but being all talk to have nothing to show for it makes me feel like an ass. I did that a lot on Gilgamesh and it's kind of embarrassing to think back on. To try and make myself DM on Gilgamesh, I put my character into a situation where he'd be AWOL until an event I had in mind occured. Next thing I know, I take a hiatus and decide to try Balmung when I return, leaving yet another event idea to rot.

 

I'm hoping to arrange a DM'd event or two for Eddard's story soon. I keep telling myself that I'll follow through instead of being a big ol' baby, that DMing this first event will finally let me overcome the anxiety and DM more. I feel far more confident that I'll be able to since my RP on Balmung has been stronger than it was on Gilgamesh. Still, a seething doubt seems to perpetually stay in the back of my mind. It is unnerving.