Describe your backstory in the worst way!

[FlowerBear]

Merchants' daughter leaves because she's bad at math.

[Perth]

Girl with spoiled upbringing has memory comparable to Dory from Finding Nemo and forgets all of her friends and adventures, reading about them in journals and clinging to the first person from her past she finds.

[Zwight Vincent]

Forgets how to feel yet finds a lizard to love.

[Riggy]

Abrasive nerdy Highlander discovers magical lineage and ancient secrets through forgotten artifact and proceeds to do nothing useful with it.

 

Alternatively:

 

Studious Highlander is banished from Ul'dah for possessing ancient texts related to Black Magic, proceeds to enter city disguised via a pair of spectacles. It works.

[Burd]

Abandons her family to go live with people who are taller than her and spend her days being mad about something she read on a flier.

[Mia Moui]

Mia's Mom is the worst.

[SolaceWinds]

Catboy joins cult because people around him keeps dying.

[Miriamele]

Hikari Miyuki, a cursed noble with memory loss tries to do the right thing in the worst way.

[Sylentmana]

Reiko: Incompetent samurai fails at her one duty, chases after stolen relic only to have her sword stolen as well. Resorts to punching things.

[Rosekitten]

Lori: Work-a-holic drunkard smith that probably should stop being suckered into playing a guard.

[Lady Whiteraven]

Benedict: Bum learns to fight. Kills many people. Goes dark and kills many more people. Dragged out of a cave to become star gazing healing hippie.

[sergioalibaba]

Angsty teen ran away from home and is now slinging crack

[BasedRNG]

Muijh Mewrilah: runaway baby starts throwing spells at people to make them feel better

[Hali]

Neilas sas Seles: Crybaby magitek engineer goes into the army to find some chick he's obsessed over then has her kidnapped like a fucking creep.

 

Hali Naras: Autistic cat loses parents, wanders the world being weird and irritating people.

[Askier]

Crate: Short, blond kitty becomes spurned by lover so slaughters his lover, then his lover's lovers. Then his lover's lovers' lovers and their mothers and their brothers and THER loversand then decides to make pacts with evil things and becomes a little ball of psychotic evil, all while suffering from fashion OCD and the worst case of Eorzean ADHD the city-state have ever seen.

[etani]

Family feud in forest results in mass murder.

[Hitoshura]

Kaz: Sad and abandoned monstrosity bought by a circus' old master. Master becomes lover. Master dies. Monstrosity is abandoned and sad again. Forgets all his problems by frying his brain.

[Khantyer Dotharl]

Xenophobic closet racist cant fathom why people around her wont suck it up and speak HER language.

[Sylentmana]

Maligna: Creepy bog witch sets things on fire.

[Igniting Dusk]

Farm boy turned Samurai retainer gets shouted at by a big wyrm. 

Forgets who he is, decides to raid and pillage with pirates.

Grows old and starts a business with a small man, connecting the dots whilst losing them.

[Videra]

Highlander farmgirl finds parents murdered, runs away from home, takes up the sword and becomes incredibly edgy along the way. Later discovers the true power of being a social creature.

[Theryl]

Ex-hooker robs employer and goes on a roadtrip.

[Lady Whiteraven]

I was listening to the Labyrinth soundtrack on my way to work and I immediately thought of the worst way to position that film and figured I'd share it here.

 

Labyrinth:

"Wealthy older man with fetish for feathers and tight pants steals a small boy to win the affections of an underage girl."

[Faith Sauveterre]

One for Each Muse

 

 

 

Faith Sauveterre

Foreigner Adventurer from another land cause that is completely original

 

Maetikoel Syhrkoensyn

Miqo'te tries to be a Roegydyn

 

Ashlyn Blake

20 and Pregnant

 

Simon Areobuck

Sick person demands to be treated like a normal person

 

Nobutsune Naeuri

Bullies from another country invaded home and killed the family you were supposed to protect...BEST GUARDIAN EVER

 

Winter Choir

Is Classy as Fuck

 

Romoka Diraoka

Crack is Wack!

 

S'kenta Tia

Kicked out of home by bullies. Kind of Bitter, but sort of over it

 

 

BONUS

W'rauqi Tia

Forgiveness? Nah Bad People Die cause who cares about them

[Amnesic]

I think I've done Fe'lanah in here somewhere before, but I guess I'll update it for the other two characters.

 

Duke Rhett: Insanely rich man claiming to come from mythical lands, likes tricking people.

A'ih: Clingy Miqo'te servant trained in self-control following an irrational concept of debt.

 

Myrrh Redleaf: Traumatized adolescent acts as professional crook with a bare minimum of morals.