Command line your characters

LiveVoltage · October 23, 2014

This mainly cam from a bout of random and funny insanity that happened across several Linkshells yesterday.

The concept is simple, basically, command your characters as you would command them to do something if this were an old insert command based adventure RPG. The command itself doesn't have to be serious. It can be stupid and insane. and you're characters may not listen to you're command if they don't want too, but you still have to write out a short RP segment of how they react to the almost non-existent voice that gave them the command. ._.

Ill go first.

=> Inessa, throw off you're clothes and dance like a ballerina in a public area while bleating like a goat.

Reaction: What insanity is this? You wouldn't dare to throw you're clothes off in a public place, and the idea of dancing like a ballerina fills you're stomach with disgust. You will however, contemplate bleating like a goat, especially during a battle, where you're battle cry that sound's like a bleating goat will be the symphony that heralds you're foe's imminent and brutal demise.

Melodia · October 23, 2014

=> Melodia, go sit next to that man at the bar and flirt.

Reaction: Are ye.....I can no' do....*blushes* I'm no' even....Ye know I'm on duty, right? I'll haul ye t' the damn brig ye keep this up! Flirtin' on duty.....*walks away, voice fading as she walks* ...of all th' insane ideas...."

LiveVoltage · October 23, 2014

=>INESSA, DO THE PREVIOUS COMMAND THIS INSTANT.

You defy the voice in you're head that makes such rude demand's of you. You are thinking of bleating like a goat. Isn't that enough?

=>Fine. Inessa, what would you rather do then?

You wish to spend you're time helping others and playing with children. Despite how much you can piss off others, children always seem to love and want to play games with you, and when there are not other pressing matters to attend to, you oblige them, playing games such as tag or hide and seek.

=>BOOOOORING. INESSA, KILL SOMETHING ALREADY.

You outright refuse the notion of killing another person. You are okay with killing monsters and hunting animal's for sustenance, but you refuse the thought of killing another person unless they are the first to agress you.

ProvaDiServo · October 23, 2014

=> Petra, Target Brass Blade A, HiddenArt1

Reaction: You sigh deeply, understanding that by engaging in this behavior you will blow your cover. Had this lalafelan brass said anything to disrespect you? No, but your body wills you to knock the poor bastard on his rear. Your conscience pleads with your impulse not to follow through with the attack, but it is too late. You have already launched the poor man skyward with your leaping uppercut as all of pearl lane hears your resounding battle cry.

Telluride · October 23, 2014

=> NATHAN, VERBOSE

Maximum Verbosity. And if you'd been paying attention, mate, you'd have noticed that this command isn't actually recognized by the parser, but I put this little gem of a response in to make you feel like you were in control of this game. I mean, who do you think you are, a speech writer? What kind of mentally mucked-up monkey actually goes around saying things like "Go North" and "Open Mailbox" and "Kill Troll With Sword"? We don't even have trolls in this game and if we did...

[THREE SCREENS OF TEXT LATER]

... we'd be luckier with the Roegadyn if you'd stop worrying about finding a grue in every dark place? Now, where in the seven hells were we?

=> INVITE BARMAID TO TABLE

Well, it's about bloody time somebody read the manual!

You kick up your feet and cross your ankles as the incredibly tall and shapely Roegadyn barmaid comes by, and direct a lurid and probably overbearing comment towards her: "Get me something with a full body and a robust bouquet, love, and if a little extra chat with you is on the menu, I promise you the tip will be more than worth your time."

LiveVoltage · October 23, 2014

=>INESSA, I GROW TIRED OF THE CHATBOX BEING FLOODED BY NAUL JOKES FROM THE IMPUDENT MASSES. SLAY IT IMMEDIATELY.

You dont know what the hell a chatbox is. Is it some kind of contraption or ancient allagan device? Who knows...

=>Inessa, strife with the lad who just tossed a lalafell down the street.

You would have drawn steel on the man by now and fought him... that's if the Lalafell was dead. The little man is fine and well but a bit bruised from the experience. You decide to ignore him.

=>INESSA, DRESS UP IN A SEXY MAID OUTFIT AND PERFORM FANSERVICE FOR THE PEASANT MASSES.

What?

OttoVann · October 23, 2014

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Aaron · October 23, 2014

Aaron say something funny and stupid!

"You."

Telluride · October 23, 2014

=> EXAMINE MIQO'TE

Which one? The place is overrun with tails flitting about. You were already busy doing this anyway, so help out there! Oh, all right, there are two particular Miqo'te females in here that catch your attention, mostly because they seem to be looking in all directions at once, as if some disembodied voice were trying to tell them to do something and they just didn't know what to do about it.

=> GET MIQO'TE

Your Ma taught you better than to do that in a crowded place, mate. Any way, don't forget that this game is rated T for Teen.

=> LEWD MODE

Look, mate, this is FFXIV: The Great Eorzean Empire, not Leather Goddesses of Phobos.

=> DRINK MADJACK RED

Smooth going down. Good call.

=> WAIT

Time passes...

LiveVoltage · October 23, 2014

=>Inessa, Slay Bahamut in Final Coil, Save the world, get laid.

You think to yourself that slaying Bahamut would give you immense street cred so you keep that in mind. You are also thinking about running off on an epic adventure to save the world, but you don't much care for getting laid and would like to avoid that part entirely.

=>Inessa, you must get laid after you save the world. This is mandatory for all world saving hero's.

You begin to start ignoring the voice in you're head, very sure that he and/or she is a very bad influence.

**Unnamed Mercenary** · October 23, 2014

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

ProvaDiServo · October 23, 2014

=> Petra, Do your Bizzare adventure cstume change!

Bizzare what? You refuse to label your costume change in such a fashion. However, you abide by the command, you spread your arms wide and wave them inwards. Your left hand covers your face and your right hand rests on your left hip. In a burst of light and confetti you change into your....marvelous bra and panties? you leap into an empty barrel to conceal your shame.

ProvaDiServo · October 23, 2014

=> Petra, Twerk for the refugees

You can only guess that the voice wishes for you to dance for the addicts of street, which you will not. No self respecting woman would.

=> Petra, do a barrel roll !

You laugh at the idea but you hop into an empty barrel and roll in it down the street. Your giggles and "Wheee!"s are promptly replaced by dizziness and vomiting.

OttoVann · October 23, 2014

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] useradd Coatleque -c "Coatleque Crofte"

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] passwd Coatleque

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] purevil

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] su - Coatleque

(now what do I do)

**Unnamed Mercenary** · October 23, 2014

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] useradd Coatleque -c "Coatleque Crofte"

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] passwd Coatleque

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] purevil

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] su - Coatleque

(now what do I do)

retcon everything with "sudo rm -rf /"

OttoVann · October 23, 2014

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] yum install Franz-Controls -y

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] Franz-Controls shirt -Rv

Franz# pacman -S shirt

Franz# pacman -R Franz-Controls

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] useradd Coatleque -c "Coatleque Crofte"

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] passwd Coatleque

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] purevil

[OTTO@Pimp-Master ~] su - Coatleque

(now what do I do)

retcon everything with "sudo rm -rf /"

No way m8 we just made her a user, now she must enter commands.

Warren Castille · October 23, 2014

DOOOOOOOORKS.

:love:

Zyrusticae · October 23, 2014

I'm sorry, but this is driving me mad! I must do this!

[...] command you're characters [...]

=> Inessa' date=' throw off you're clothes [...']

You wouldn't dare to throw you're clothes off [...]

You're -> your

You're is a contraction of "you are". If you write out "you are" instead of "you're" this should become very obvious. "Command you are characters" makes no sense; "command your characters" is correct.

[...] that makes such rude demand's of you. [...]

Demand's -> demands

Putting an apostrophe before the "s" in "demands" transforms it from a command verb to a possessive object. In other words, "demand's of you" makes no sense unless you change it to read "...Demand's demands of you" or some other similar construction. "...demands of you" is the correct usage in this instance.

I know you've probably built this into a bad habit, which is why it's better to realize this now and correct it before it becomes even worse. I actually cringe every time I read an incorrect apostrophe usage and it happens so often now... :dazed:

Please don't take this personally. This is not an indictment of you as an individual, just an attempt to correct some rather glaring grammar mistakes.

Telluride · October 23, 2014

I know you've probably built this into a bad habit, which is why it's better to realize this now and correct it before it becomes even worse. I actually cringe every time I read an incorrect apostrophe usage and it happens so often now... :dazed:

Please don't take this personally. This is not an indictment of you as an individual, just an attempt to correct some rather glaring grammar mistakes.

*checks the C64 Disk Drive and reads disk label*

"Zyrusticae Teaches Typing"

Eh, I didn't like Mavis Beacon's version, either.

*puts different disk in*

>LOAD "QUICKSAND" ,8,1

>RUN

LiveVoltage · October 23, 2014

@Zyrusticae

Its fine, lol. I made this thread in the heat of the moment so I didn't put much work into being grammatically correct and im absolutely loving how it has turned out. <3

=>INESSA, YOU IMPUDENT WELP, YOU WILL KISS SOMETHING AFTER YOU SAVE THE WORLD.

Inessa Hara has decided to completely ignore the voice in her head.

=>Inessa, bleat like a goat. Do iiiiiiiiit.

Much to your own amazement, you bleat like a goat in the spur of a moment and everyone nearby look's at you funny. You are a failure.

=>Inessa, pray to the goat god for forgivness and you may be able to ascend into the afterlife.

but sadly, you realize that there is no goat god.

=>Inessa, despair at the fact you will never get into the goatly afterlife ruled by the goat god.

You despair at the fact that you will never ascend to the kingdom of goat heaven and sob grossly in the corner.

LiveVoltage · October 24, 2014

((Revives this thing))

=>Inessa Hara, be the goat.

Inessa cannot be the Goat, for she is a valiant Miqo'te knight who fight's for justice and serves the people, not a farm animal to be cultivated then consumed for food.

=>Inessa Hara, be the other guy.

What other guy?

=>Inessa Hara, be Aaron Glacier.

You cannot be Aaron glacier because even Aaron Glacier doesn't want to be Aaron Glacier.

ProvaDiServo · October 24, 2014

=> spawn wall mirror