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[align=center]The Sworn Swords of Ul'Dah[/align]

[align=center]Would like to remind the citizenry[/align]

[align=center]That Free Paladins are not Ul'Dahn Law Enforcement[/align]

 

 

[align=center]Anelia Sadowyn[/align]

 

 

 

[align=center]Is not a member of the Sultansworn[/align]

[align=center]If she attempts to subdue or detain you[/align]

[align=center]Please alert the nearest Brass Blades[/align]

 

[align=center]Do Not Follow Her or Submit to Her Authority[/align]

 

[align=center]If you see a Free Paladin impersonating Ul'Dahn Law Enforcement please inform legitimate authorities.[/align]

 

 

[align=center]DO NOT ENGAGE THEM YOURSELF[/align]

[align=center]FREE PALADINS ARE ARMED AND DANGEROUS

[/align]

 

[align=center]This advertisement paid for by:[/align]

[align=center]The Sworn Swords of Ul'Dah, Paladins in Service to[/align]

[align=center]Her Royal Majesty Nanamo Ul Namo, Sultana of Ul'Dah, Jewel of The Desert[/align]

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[align=center]Sworn Swords of Ul'Dah,[/align]

[align=center]We would like to remind you that[/align]

[align=center]You are not Ul'Dahn Law Enforcement[/align]

 

[align=center]You are not Brass Blades.[/align]

[align=center]If you attempt to subdue or detain Citizens

Outside your Jurisdiction[/align]

[align=center]We will alert the proper authorities.[/align]

 

[align=center]You are Glorified Bodyguards.[/align]

[align=center]That is all.[/align]

 

[align=center]Dear Citizenry, should you see a Sultansworn impersonating Ul'Dahn Law Enforcement, please inform your local Brass Blades.[/align]

 

[align=center]DO NOT ENGAGE THEM YOURSELVES[/align]

[align=center]SULTANSWORN ARE DERANGED AND DANGEROUS

[/align]

 

[align=center]This letter addressed to[/align]

[align=center]The Sworn Swords of Ul'Dah[/align]

[align=center]on behalf of[/align]

[align=center]Our Constabulary[/align]

[align=center]and[/align]

[align=center]Our Military[/align]

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[align=center]"Law Enforcement" of Uldah,

[/align]

[align=center]We would like to remind you that[/align]

[align=center]All true Authority comes from the will of the people[/align]

 

[align=center]You are our Jailors.[/align]

[align=center]If you attempt to subdue or detain citizens[/align]

[align=center]We will inform you of our rights.[/align]

 

[align=center]You are Glorified Hounds of Tyrants..[/align]

[align=center]That is all.[/align]

 

[align=center]Dear Citizenry, should you see a Brass Blade, Sultansworn, or Flame attemping to force their will upon others, please assume the protest position.[/align]

 

[align=center]DO NOT ENGAGE THEM YOURSELVES[/align]

[align=center]THEY ARE ALL MAD WITH POWER AND DANGEROUS

[/align]

 

[align=center]This letter addressed to[/align]

[align=center]The People[/align]

[align=center]on behalf of[/align]

[align=center]The People[/align]

[align=center]and[/align]

[align=center]The Republic of Ul'dah Revolutionary Council[/align]

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[align=center]Citizens of Ul'Dah,[/align]

[align=center]We would like to remind you that[/align]

[align=center]Hugs are pretty awesome.[/align]

 

[align=center]Ya should stop all th' fightin'[/align]

[align=center]'n feudin' 'n stuff!

Be frands![/align]

[align=center]Um... please?[/align]

 

[align=center]Especially ya 'Sworn 'n Blades.

Yer both out ta halp people fer differin' reasons, right?

No need ta be fightin' each other!

[/align]

 

[align=center]So... um...[/align]

[align=center]Yeah.

[/align]

 

[align=center]This letter addressed to[/align]

[align=center]Everyone in Ul'Dah[/align]

[align=center]on behalf of[/align]

[align=center]A KoncerConserWorried Lalafell[/align]

 

 

(Sorry not sorry)

 

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Kage just reads and listens to all of the new announcements, shaking his head. The lalafell scoffs and throws the parchments into a random trash bin somewhere.

 

"No word from the Blades? Of course..."

 

A paper flutters and hits Kage in the Face.

 

 

 

[align=center]The Brass Blades of Ul'Dah[/align]

[align=center]Would like to remind the citizenry[/align]

[align=center]That we RUN this shit[/align]

 

 

[align=center]If you have any issue with our conduct[/align]

[align=center]We could care less[/align]

[align=center]Please alert my boot,[/align][align=center]as it kicks you in the cheek[/align]

 

[align=center]WE DON'T CARE[/align]

[align=center]DON'T BOTHER US WITH YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS

[/align]

[align=center]OR WE'LL BEAT YOU, THROW YOU IN JAIL, AND THEN CHARGE YOU FOR BEDSHEETS[/align]

 

[align=center]This advertisement paid for by:[/align]

[align=center]The Brass Blades,[/align]

[align=center]DEAL WITH IT[/align]

 

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Dear Uldan Authorities of all kinds,

 

Please keep bickering! Militaristic shenanigans and obvious public chicanery encourage the citizenry to seek distraction from the stress your disagreements bring to them. This helps to line the pockets of bards throughout Thanalan.

 

Yours,

 

The Bards of Eorzea.

 

P.S. - We take Requests.

 

P.P.S. - Momodi has ten times the personal power than any of you worthless thugs, politicos and rabble-rousers possess. Question this at your peril.

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[align=center]Sworn Swords, Brass Blades,

Immortal Flames, Citizens, of Ul'dah,

Visitors, and Travelers to the Jewel of the Desert

[/align]

[align=center]We would like to inform you of where

[/align]

[align=center]You may find the best food and drinks in the city.[/align]

 

[align=center]Buy a pint, or a glass today,[/align]

[align=center]Share it with your friends, or meet new people!

Enjoy it over a freshly cooked and delicious meal,[/align]

[align=center]And forget all the troubles of the day!

[/align]

 

[align=center]Everyone deserves a little fun,[/align]

[align=center]Visit the Quick Sand Today!

[/align]

 

[align=center]Dear Citizenry, should you see a pretty barmaid

Serving drinks with cheery smiles:[/align]

 

[align=center]PLEASE TIP HER GENEROUSLY

[/align]

 

[align=center]This letter addressed to[/align]

[align=center]All the people of Ul'Dah

And all who may travel to or through Ul'dah

[/align]

[align=center]on behalf of[/align]

[align=center]Momodi[/align]

[align=center]and[/align]

[align=center]All Her Friends

[/align]

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Kellach, grumbling after an escort had gone poorly due to the caravan master being heavily drunk on the job, or so he claims, had been staring at the Jewel of the Desert at war with interposed pamphlets. Not believing his eyes, he decided to have a bit of fun at their expense.

 

Without looking at their contents, he'd nicked three posters and had gone somewhere quiet to write on their backs. Once finished, he'd find a well-located board, place them side-by-side with his revisions and leave.

 

[align=center]* * *[/align]

 

[align=center]RESIDENTS OF UL'DAH[/align]

 

[align=center]THESE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS[/align]

[align=center]ARE POLLUTING YOUR FAIR CITY.[/align]

 

[align=center]HOW CAN THE JEWEL OF THE DESERT SHINE[/align]

[align=center]IF IT IS WRAPPED IN PAPER[/align]

[align=center]WHERE THE LIGHT OF THE SUN CANNOT STRIKE IT?[/align]

 

[align=center]IF YOU HAVE A MODICUM OF RESPECT FOR YOUR CITY[/align]

[align=center]MAKE SOMETHING USEFUL OUT OF THESE ANNOUNCEMENTS[/align]

[align=center]LIKE PAPER FOR THE OUTHOUSE.[/align]

 

* Freeloaded for by the Yeomen Organization for Ul'dah

 

[align=center]* * *[/align]

 

[align=center]TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.[/align]

 

[align=center]THE BRASS BLADES ARE NOTHING MORE[/align]

[align=center]THAN EXCESSIVELY VIOLENT LAND PIRATES.[/align]

 

[align=center]IF THEY DETAIN YOU[/align]

[align=center]PAY THEM IN GIL[/align]

[align=center]BECAUSE IT IS FOR COIN FIRST AND COUNTRY LAST.[/align]

 

[align=center]IF YOU NEED HELP[/align]

[align=center]CONTACT A SULTANSWORN[/align]

[align=center]THOSE OF THE FLAME[/align]

[align=center]OR AN ADVENTURER[/align]

[align=center]EVEN IF THEY CANNOT HELP[/align]

[align=center]THEY WILL AT LEAST LISTEN[/align]

[align=center]UNLIKE A BRASS BLADE.[/align]

 

* Information gathered by the Association for the Restoration of Serenity and Etiquette

 

[align=center]* * *[/align]

 

[align=center]GENTLE FOLKS OF UL'DAH[/align]

 

[align=center]THE QUICKSAND MAY HAVE MOMODI

WITH SMILE THE BRIGHTEST

AND A WONDERFUL WELCOMING WAITRESS.

 

THE PATRONS HAVE NO REGARD FOR LAW

THEY HAVE NO REGARD FOR ORDER

THEY BLATANTLY BRAG OF THEIR ACTIVITIES

BE IT SLAVE TRADE, KIDNAPPING AND MURDER.

 

IF YOU FIND YOURSELF

INSIDE THE QUICKSAND

SPEAK WITH THE STAFF, NOT WITH THE CHAFF.

 

* Mockingly placed by the High Order for Learning, Education and Study

[/align]

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GENTLE FOLKS OF UL'DAH

 

 

THE QUICKSAND MAY HAVE MOMODI

WITH SMILE THE BRIGHTEST

AND A WONDERFUL WELCOMING WAITRESS.

 

THE PATRONS HAVE NO REGARD FOR LAW

THEY HAVE NO REGARD FOR ORDER

THEY BLATANTLY BRAG OF THEIR ACTIVITIES

BE IT SLAVE TRADE, KIDNAPPING AND MURDER.

 

IF YOU FIND YOURSELF

INSIDE THE QUICKSAND

SPEAK WITH THE STAFF, NOT WITH THE CHAFF.

 

^ this

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Anelia takes a look at the announcement and scoffed at the paper with a slight laugh.

 

"Oh boy, Teledji Adeledji will not be happy with me again this time. But especially when I am being accused of stealing their job..."

 

She thinks about it for a while when it was the last time she was in charge of arresting anyone. .... For a long while, none.

 

In fact, she only has only assisted the Sworns in arresting people. Not that she should be blamed for such.

 

She thought about it, and she can only think of one person's name in terms of pulling this stunt to post a public announcement.

 

"...Stone."

 

She sighed and took the announcement paper and slips it into her pocket. She needed to have a word with the rest of Sultansworns.

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C'kayah chuckled as he kicked yet another fallen poster out of his way, the oversized wine kid dangling from his fingers.

 

"I wonder, O wall, that you have not fallen

in ruins from supporting the stupidities

of so many scribblers."

 

It was an ancient line from an account of life in Sil'dih, but it applied just as well to modern life as it did back then.

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  • 2 weeks later...


[align=center]"That's right, you wannabe clerics, if you wanna be a Flame, you aughta' provide for the city, not just swing a sword all willy-nilly... Workin' for the colosseum got me an honorary standing with the company anyroad. But so on and so forth, let meat sacks with magicky voodoo swords do what they do... it's only a matter of time I'm called to cull a few."[/align]

[align=center]


Just another article for the man, he chuckles to himself in response of it all, scribbling names of impostors and would-be targets; they may fetch a pretty penny. A Hyena preys upon the dead anyway, so what's the fault in that?

[/align]

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Hmmm...that's the most awkward thing I have ever seen in my life, eeeehn...

 

 

The Lala just stares at the notice board both impressed and dissapointed in life, as paper tries the sassy other paper in a competition with paperness. That isn't funny, it's tragic.

 

That people are genuinely wasting bells after bells to see who can put the whammiest piece of paper on the board is just one of the few funny things in life isn't.

 

What a time to be alive.

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