Dogberry

I fancy myself a bit of a songwriter. I've been working on a song for a while, and have some lyrics I wrote. Of Aluminum These tiny fragile feet too tired to climb your burning mountain tops These hands too wild and weary to harvest all your dirty crops No energy but too much in these batteries of copper drops There's seven of us leaving, only six of us will go I wonder where the last one is, But I'm certain I already know. Rain on down, In your silent, stirring anger, Follow me and just observe, I'll show you where I'm going to. Rain on down, There's no weapon we can use, Just a path that we can travel, Maybe you can take the one we're on. These feet just want to kick you, Knock you over, make the crazy stop. These hands just want to kiss you, Make the world look at us when you pop. No energy to give you, Just recount your lies in photoshop. There's seven of us bleeding, only six of us to go I wonder how the last one is, But I'm certain you already know.

Yeah, it's a collar. It's a popped collar, specifically. [video=youtube]

Collar?

Good!~ Rhi would be quite upset if anything happened to Mene. And that is when I started shipping Rhianna and Menelwen.

This is my reasoning for rocket propelled chainsaws.

First of all, I want to thank everyone who came out and ran with us. You guys were amazing. For those of you who have been following these events, this was to serve as the "kicker" event that gave the other events a wider context. You got to see just what the purpose of all these primal battles were for, and believe me, seeing your senses of horror and shock when the reveal came was intensely satisfying. If there is another event like this, we will keep you all posted. In the meantime, keep an eye out, because we'll be looking for victims volunteers to help us. It won't require any foreknowledge of our plot so far, just some good fun RP and a new IC toy to play with. Now, if there are any future events like this, I can tell you this: It will not be Second Coil of Bahamut. I can't ever forsee us EVER running Coil again for an event. There is simply no demand for it in our plot, and an IC run of Coil portrayed as-is would be entirely out of the scale of our role play. If you want to do an IC coil run, by all means, host your own event.

You can diss gunblades all you want, but you can have my shotgun knuckles when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers. Which will likely be blown off of my hands.

"My eyes are up here, Dagh."

YOURE WELCOME. Everyone just wants to hear stories of your heroics, silly Roegadyn! Getting your legs bitten off isn't a heroic story! He has plenty of better stories!

[video=youtube] Levelling some Tank jobs. This is my tank song.

"Tell 'em the story of how you got your legs!" Sure, let me just relive the most horrifying and painful thing that's ever happened to me for your amusement. "Oh my god, you're wearing a pink shirt?" Yes. It's a nice color and it looks good on me.

Aww, Wen, you will be dearly missed.

Rot is easy. It just takes some communication. Know who to run to ahead of time, and keep an eye out for the debuff.

Yes! All are welcome! We do multiple teams and such if necessary. Yes, there will be RP going on before, during, and after. This is going to be the most meta-plotty of all the events we've done so far. The Primal runs were straight forward. This will give the primal fights actual context for those attending. We actually did a T2 run recently. At this point it's easy to just kill everything in the dungeon and burn down the boss. We can play it by ear. Enrage, Rot, Murderdeathkilleverything, whatever people think is more fun. And yes, we are doing Bahamut's Bouncy Castle.

"Aya, darlin', another? Thank ya, sweetness. Here, buy yourself some new shoes."

Alexander Stormwind's research on the Primals is complete. Rhianna Oruissi has done extensive research with him on Allagan ruins, and together they have located a potential location where information or practical technology could be found to make a breakthrough in their solution to The Primal Problem. They have commissioned Captain Dogberry Himalspyr to look for brave souls willing to aid in an expedition into the heart of these ruins. Those interested in Allagan technology and Magitek are especially sought after, and will be rewarded handsomely with gil, information, and access to untouched Allagan technology. There are many untold dangers within the ruins themselves. There may be some who will not return. However, the rewards of success no doubt justify the risk of death. Of course, that has been the creedo by which this project operates. The ends more than justify the means. What: We will be running First Coil of Bahamut 1 - 4, and then Ultima Weapon HM. What it is not: WE ARE NOT ACTUALLY DOING FIRST COIL OF BAHAMUT IN CHARACTER. This is an nondescript Allagan Ruin. Any resemlance to First Coil of Bahamut is purely the result of similar engineering on behalf of the Allagan empire. When: Saturday, May 9th 3:00PM EST Where: Camp Drybone, Eastern Thanalan If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I'm really just looking forward to the broadsword. Dogberry is magic stupid, so until I know more about where DRKs get their powers from, he won't be able to do them. He doesn't even have his chakras open anymore since his brush with Leviathan. So I have no plans of being Batman, although my retainer brought me this odd little green ring. It's pretty cool, I've been having fun with it.

Oh no, I am incredibly sad now... Ember, darling, you can hug Au Ra, just do it gently. The only thing you shouldn't hug are cactuar. More like Horn cozies! C'mon, Weavers, let's knit those suckers up in bright, festive colors!

What kinda updates? Not gonna lie, leaving that open-ended makes me want to just mspaint up a roe picture and collect my case of beer. Photoshop a dog's head onto a blueberry, post to wiki, collect beer. The more effort you put into it, the better beer you get. You MS paint me a Roe, you get a 6 pack of Milwaukee's Best. Bad photoshop gets you a skunked Corona Light and an overripe lime. You make the effort to go above and beyond, I will brew you a special batch of my own house cider.

Anyone want to update my character wiki for me? I can pay you in beer.

I'm so sorry, I'm going to be busy that day. I've been looking forward to this one. I had a perfect song for Dogberry to sing. If plans change and I am able to attend, I will let you know.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

I know a Roe who He fights whale ghosts He'll make you breakfast He'll make you toast He don't use butter He don't use cheese He don't use jelly or Any of these He uses vaaaaaaaaaaaseline!

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office and the doctor says "What seems to be the problem?" The moth begins. "Problems? Doctor, I've got a lot of problems. I go to work everyday for Gregory Illinivich, and I work all day long. Quite frankly, I don't even know what I do there anymore. I don't even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows he has power over me, and this seems to make him happy. But I don't know. I wake up every morning in a malaise, walking aimlessly from this place to that. At night I wake up and look over at... some old lady on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don't know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexandria, she fell in the winter of last year. The cold took her down, doc, as it did many of us. And my other child... Greggarro Iliyavanonatovich, my son and heir... this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My boy... I don't love him. Not as I used to. It pains me to say it, but I look in his eyes, and I see a glimpse of the same cowardice I only see when... well, when I look at myself in the mirror. I feel like a spider, even though I am a moth, just hanging on to a web with an everlasting fire under me. I am not feeling well, doctor. The doctor is taken aback. He says "Man, moth, I am sorry to hear all of this, truly. You should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why are you in a podiatrist's office?" The moth says "Because the light was on."

A man walks into a bar. Ouch, that had to hurt.