A LEGEND REBORN [BRONCO GREASE!]

[GloryRhodes]

[align=center]LIMSA LOMINSA'S FAVORITE BEVERAGE!

 

 

A Tall Mast Can Take You Far

But Bronco Gives You That Something Extra

To Keep Your Rudder Straight

NOW ON SALE AT THE MISSING MEMBER![/align]

 

 

[align=center]HAPPY STARLIGHT!

Bronco Reborn and Dubious Distributions

Wish all of you a Happy Holidays[/align]

 

 

[align=center]BRONCO REBORN

A New Formula!

A New Feeling!

Don't be fooled by competitors!

BRONCO REBORN!

5 gil at the Ruby Road Exchange, Dubious Distributions and The Grindstone!

 

 

Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Reborn Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Reborn will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Test groups have suffered minor myocardial infaction in rare cases.  Drink at your own risk.[/align]

 

 

 

 

[align=center]

 

My name is Spahro Llorn, creator of Bronco Reborn.  Recently, many claims have been made about Bronco Grease Energy Tonic, and I'm here to tell you that we at Dubious Distributions have looked into them.  Bronco Reborn is our promise to Eorzea to strive for ever greater heights, and to not rest on our laurels, content in simply being the best.  Many competitors and imitators have sprung up in recent moons trying to ride our hard work and dedication to you, the customer, with inferior and dangerous products.  We promise that Bronco Reborn will continue to be the leader in Energy Tonics made to precise alchemical specifications by our in house alchemist.  Designed with the hard working men and women of Eorzea in mind, there is nothing in the world like Bronco Reborn, and I'll stand by that.

 

 

Spahro Llorn

Vice President of BG Products

Dubious Distributions

[/align]

 

 

[align=center]LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES[/align]

[align=center]IT LIVES.  IT DIES.  IT LIVES AGAIN![/align]

 

 

[align=center]

[/align]

[align=center]BRONCO REBORN![/align]

 

 

[align=center]OUR FORMULA WAS WEAK.[/align]

[align=center]WE CHANGED IT.[/align]

[align=center]OUR POWER WASN'T POWERFUL ENOUGH.[/align]

[align=center]WE ADDED MORE.[/align]

[align=center]OUR POSTERS DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH HALF NAKED MODELS![/align]

[align=center]SO HERE'S SIX OF THEM![/align]

 

 

[align=center]SIX TIMES THE POWER![/align]

[align=center]SIX TIMES THE FLAVOR![/align]

[align=center]SIX TIMES THE BRONCO![/align]

 

 

[align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Reborn Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Reborn will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Test groups have suffered minor pneumothorax in rare cases.  Drink at your own risk.[/align]

[Telluride]

(( ♪ Grease is the word, it's the word, it's the word...

It's got groove, it's got meaning

Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion

Grease is the way we are feeling ♪ ))

[Capheira]

It was late in the afternoon that Odette passed by a colourful flyer that caught her eye in the dimming light of an orange-hued sunset. Pausing in her stride, the sassy siren backpedaled a single step to squint combined aesthetics of hickory lashes and ocean-hued eyes at the advertisement... and the somewhat familiar face upon it. 

 

"What...?" came the mutter from between full lips that almost instantly pulled into an amused smirk once initial surprise had passed. That same expression was quickly chased by a laugh that set freckles dancing upon bronzed cheeks, a loud exclamation following along the lines of, "Fokkin' Twelve Nathan. . ."

 

Shaking her head, the bardess turned from the poster and she murmured anew, "Well, at least he drew t'long straw. Lad gets t'look like a stud rather than 'takin' a poundin' like some other unfortunate soul we know. Wonder how many palms were greased fer that?" 

 

Clearly amused, the Highlander returned to her set course with sauntered ease; chortling all the while for her own wit.

[Boo the Hamster]

Enju would look along the poster for a moment, first with a grin, then with a small scowl along his face as he noticed who else was on there.

 

"You look decent, but still.  I'm disappointed.  I hope she never sees this, or at least approves of your actions."

 

He shook his head as he turned his back, disgusted with himself.

[FallenFedora]

Char Lohengrin could only laugh in response to the scantily clad women positioned aesthetically around the Hyur. "Twelve, is that all they could get? That one's too 'horny' and the rest... I mean, look at their tails..." He shook his head, sipping from his glass of scotch. "Sir. You can't see their tails... No wait, I see half of one." His bodyguard said as he leaned forward to inspect the picture with rising interest. "That's the point. It's distasteful. Why hide a single aspect of their beauty? Do I cut numbers from your coin purse because I don't care for your rates? No."

 

The Miqo'te male adjusted his sunglasses and nodded to two Auri colleagues whom brought a large stack of advertisements for Laughing Armament's weaponry. "Like an artist whom only finished half of his painting, these are unfit for the eye. Remove them, pin our advertisements up, and then burn the rest." Char sauntered off, waving at tonight's latest conquest to join him on his arm, guard in tow.

 

"Let's not split hairs. I'll keep one, you keep one and we'll just pin these over the rest." The advertisers shared a smirk as they set to work. "You want to give them a try when we're done here?"

[Garalona]

Exhausted and still haunted by the smell of vomit, Garalona trudged from her latest house call. It was very late, and she was regretting not charging more for her services. The lalafell had the coin, so who was she to say no to his insistence she supervise his latest attempt to get clean?

 

Now with the worst of it over, and with new insight into just how much puke could come from such a small vessel, she had left strict instructions with the servants on handling the rest. The coin was good, but not good enough for her to stand there like a sentry for an entire damn moon.

 

A gust of wind smacked a loose flyer into her arm. Cursing, she pulled it off and turned the page over as if the advertiser was personally responsible for this slight. Bits were missing where it had been roughly torn down, but most of the image remained.

 

"Oh, ye gods, please..."

 

And then her gaze when up to the wall, to what the ads had been replaced with. "Oh, ye gods, PLEASE."

 

An idea formed in an instant. Her vomit sodden work clothes were stuffed in her bags, and all she had to do was remove her Roegadyn sized smock and fling it across the wall to ruin everything. Stuffing her clothes back in her bag, she continued on her way.

[-no longer matters-]

Gwen walked down the streets of Ul'dah like always whistling, her red tinted spectral glasses on her eyes darting from person to person in the crowd. She lit a cigarette she took a few long drags as she leaned against the wall, when she sighed and said aloud.

"Hmm slow day, seems no voidies trying to take flesh houses today. Maybe I can turn in for a drink yeah?"

 

as she pushes herself off the wall, her eye catches notice of a poster for Bronco Grease and a man surrounded by a harem of Miqo'te. She rolled the cigarette to the side of her mouth and took one last drag before spitting it to the ground. her lips formed a taunting smile as she uttered one word excitedly.

 

"Incubus!"

 

She took off her glasses and and lowered the brim of her fedora, and walked away with a big toothy grin, and a murderous look in her eye.

[Manari]

The small Keeper of the Moon girl moved quickly and silently through Gridania, intentionally avoiding any sort of distractions that would keep her from whatever her purpose for entering the town was. She never liked being in the city and wanted to leave as soon as possible.

 

However, something caught her eye as she was walking past the Caroline Canopy. Something that was posted on the walls caused her to stop and examine it. Her large emerald Keeper eyes were focused on the center of the picture while a look of disbelief washed over her youthful face.

 

Those who spent most of their time alone or with animals can tend to develop a habit of speaking aloud to themselves. "This looks like... but surely I am mistaken..." She shook her head as if to shake away the thoughts that were interrupting her original purpose here and began to walk away. "Honestly, I know naught of her anyway... And I do not know what a 'bronco' is either."

[Lan Darklyn]

Lan had just retrieved his mail from the box at Forgotten Springs when something caught his eye enough that he paused in sorting through the reports and turned to step over to a wall with several posters plastered on it.

 

"Oh great they are at...." Blinking in disbelief it took the seeker a moment to fully process what he was seeing.

 

"I...see that Anstarra changed her hair again....Hmm, how did they get Jay...Unless Anstarra convinced her somehow..."

 

He shakes his head and does an about face to walk away muttering, "The world it going mad. Shut up Hannah."

[Larson]

Solmund folds his arms, staring the poster over with amusement.

 

"Suppose some men don't have it naturally. More power to them."

 

He chortles and continues on his way.

[Anstarra]

Anstarra would be found sitting on the terrace of her usual café, grinning as she watched people looking at the latest ad. She'd seen at least three or four steal copies for themselves, sometimes surreptitiously looking over their shoulders, other times openly. She had no need to do so, of course.. she had her own. And why not? Several of her favorite people (and some new favorites) were on it.

 

"That was fun," she nods, in recollection. "No regrets... hah. I can only imagine what people must think of this..." She pauses, and blinks, reading the tagline again. Particularly the 'nunh' implication. And her name on the poster, white hair or no. And then considers who else in her family might read it.

 

"...shit."

[Mimiru]

Mimi Horo would stare at the picture for a time while picking up a few things during a shopping trip. 

 

"...there's something very telling about myself when I see two of my ex's posed in this picture together. Maybe I'll become a nun..."

[Faye]

The sight of the poster certainly caught the Midlander's eye, and she slowed down to take a good look, eyeing over each scantly clad figure before a blonde brow slowly lifted up her forehead. "I know far too many people in this poster for comfort..." she murmured beneath her breath.

[Leggerless]

Elise finished her cleanup at the Duskbreak bar--part of a recent renovation endorsed by herself and the heavy drinkers of the establishment--before her eye caught a poster one of the refugees brought in with them. She picked it up with her right hand, adjusted her glasses, and looked over the images.

 

"Love is a weird subject indeed, deary." Elise remarked before hanging up the poster on the wall behind her. With a chuckle, she set aside her cleaning supplies and closed up the area for the night before she departed to a good night's rest.

[Leanne]

The walls of the Carline Canopy once more began to suffer from a rampant poster tearing, albeit this time way more vicious by the looks of the scrapped paper still glued to the wall, and this time not from several patrons, but from one diminutive seeker that kept taking them off one after another.

 

"Dear, are you alright?" Lady Miounne asks the fuming miqo'te sat by a table, in process of tearing the poster into shreds.

 

"Nay. I'm not al-" Leanne stops every single action of hers as she sees another man gluing -another- poster. With an almost comical crestfallen expression, she slams her head on the table, whimpering. Miounne sighed and quietly comforted the poor girl.

 

From Leanne, came out a continuous mantra.

 

"WhydidntIsaynowhydidntIsaynowhy..."

[Zelmanov]

The oddly garbed Dragoon hadbecome too common a sight in the Carline Canopy. Each passing day felt like he was overstaying his welcome in the Elemental-plagued shroud. Rumors of a man like him being present in the light of grand disasters that were plaguing the forests was finally catching up and it seemed that people made purposeful effort to skirt around his table, adventurers and the staff alike. Even the one Keeper of the Moon bar wench who he had been angling for now always looked at him as though she was being held hostage whenever they conversed. 

 

Thoughtonight he managed to wrangle the company of an Elezen woman to his table, was always easier to do so when in more civilized clothing.

 

"Alwayswanted t'head back t'Ishgard myself" She said with a small titter "Heard its beautiful even in the winter, Ma always talked about how she loved the high courts; going on about the high life she used to have --before she took me away to Gridania when I was just a babe for my safety of course-- funny how she speaks like the rest of them Gridanians do though.." 

 

Orrinlistened politely, her words passing through one ear and out the other, eyes beginning to wander about for something, anything more engaging. His eyes caught a retainer of some sort adhering a new poster to the wall, eyes narrowed in hope that the quiet weeks of inaction had finally come to an end and a new leve had surfaced.

This was not the case, his eyes widening as he say a wash of flesh-colored tones of yellowed paper, he recognized too many faces in an instant, Anstarra, Nihka…Leanne?  He had to blink a few times and it clearlybetrayed his disinterest to the woman in front of him.

 

“You even listening? I’m beginningto doubt you are a true blooded Ishgardian like myself!” she said with her forest-borne drawl.

 

 

“Excuse me…” he said, gettingup with a bow that would have been instantly recognized as polite, but dismissive, cessation of dialogue customary to the Pillars, which was clearly lost on her.  Her protests fade into thebackground of the canopy as he looks over the poster. “This grease business again” he thought, recalling V’aleera’s poster. Curious it took so long to resurface since the last…even more curious that Leanne of all sorts was pulled into it. Perhaps a visit was in order, remembering something about horse oil causing issues in the market naught but less than a moon back.

[Reppu]

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The sounds of a Carbuncle Wall Clock. The room was dark, save for a single candle. A poster was laid out on a desk. A figure was sitting behind the desk. Green eyes, glowing. They would fall upon the poster. Fingers would tap the desk.

 

Tap. Tap. Tap.

 

A glance up, eyes piercing the darkness. Her lips would curl, revealing a fang. "Go to every single bar, pub, inn, or otherwise patron-gathering locale and rip every single one of these down."

 

Hushed whispers, various individuals discussing such a thing to one another. There is a pause, before each gives a low, respective bow.

 

"Hai, Hijiri Denka. And what of the woman responsible...?"

 

A slam of a fist upon the desk. Green eyes would begin to bleed red, as the woman stands abruptly. She adjusts her choker, and fits her blades into her belt. A trained assassin. A shinobi. She turns toward the door, clenching her teeth.

 

"Oh, I will handle Miss Spahro personally..."

 

With that, she vanishes in an instant. The manipulation of space and time, the immediate placement from one locale to another? Nearly a plaything for a shinobi of her skill. But what was not so simple, was her boiling blood and rising anger. Especially at a time like this.

[FreelanceWizard]

Walking through Limsa Lominsa, the white ribbons of her new outfit fluttering in the sea breeze, L'yhta passed right by one of the posters without a glance.

 

At first.

 

With a clack of her boots on the stone -- and with nearly causing a pile-up with a crate-hoisting roegadyn and his lalafell associate, who evaded her at the last moment with a few grumbled obscenities -- the again purple-haired miqo'te skidded to a stop and reversed a few steps, leaning backwards to peer at the poster, most particularly at the well-muscled fellow in the center.

 

"Um..." she said to no one in particular as her dusky cheeks took on a distinct ruddy hue. She blinked a few times, then quickly resumed her walk towards a nearby aetheryte with a quicker pace.

[Star Lin]

The old Roe woman move through the market place of Ul'dah, a basket of fruit on her arm to sell to any Brass Blade or Flame that pass by.  "So shameful..." she heard off to her side.  She glance over at the pair of Seekers that was staring at the poster.  "I don't know.  If he was Miqo'te, I could have him as our Nunh."

 

She moves over to the pair.  "What are you looking at dears?" she ask.  The pair spun around to her.

 

"Nothing...nothing at all."  The female seeker said, grabbing hold of the other female.  "Twelve, first you want a Keeper now you're after a hyur."

 

"But...but..." the other female said as she was drag off by her sister.  The old woman watch them with laughing eyes.

 

"Ah, see ya still after the menfolk, Nightingale."  The old voice was no longer old, as Kestlona pull back to hood a little on the robe to get a better look on the poster.  "My, my, Nathan."  Her eyes dance in laughter as she swipe the poster from the board.  "Wonder if he wouldn't mind a Seawolf to go along with that pile of Kittens."  The next time she saw him, oh the teasing she was planning.  Pulling the hood back down, she hides the poster in the basket of fruit, and makes her way out of the marketplace.  She should stop by the Hall to see if he was there.

[Momoka]

Luminous moon strides through the streets whistling, hands in her pockets before she notices the poster. Pale white cheeks flush as silver eyes widen "Goodness, we dont have anything like that where I come from..." she muses. Distracted by the highlanders muscles she ogles the poster until Alfort calls to her. Her stupor broken she gathers herself together and chases after him. "Coming, Ser!"'

[Rufus Wightman]

Rufus casually strolled through the Gold Court in Ul'dah, as though it was any other day for him. His gaze wandered to the fountain that served as the familiar centre piece of the area. A nostalgic smile spread across his lips as he seemed lost in thought for a moment.

 

Just then, a peculiar thing caught his attention. A flyer left on one of the benches that surrounded the fountain itself. He approached at a casual pace, leaning down to pick the flyer up from the stone upon which it lay. He squinted his eyes, examining the piece of parchment for a split second before unconsciously bellowing, "Bronco Grease? This again?!" before he could even stop himself. He quickly looked about,  a mild amount of panic written on his features. As it seemed his outburst had drawn no attention, he quickly poured over the remainders of the flyer, his eyes steadily growing wider as he did so. He abruptly took off in a quick jog, as his armoured form clanked noisily from the motions, the leaflet all but discarded. He raised a hand to his ear, activating his linkpearl as his voice raised once again. 

 

"Aeron! Aeron it's back! Put on your skimpiest outfit!"

[GloryRhodes]

[align=center][/align]

 

[align=center]My name is Spahro Llorn, creator of Bronco Reborn.  Recently, many claims have been made about Bronco Grease Energy Tonic, and I'm here to tell you that we at Dubious Distributions have looked into them.  Bronco Reborn is our promise to Eorzea to strive for ever greater heights, and to not rest on our laurels, content in simply being the best.  Many competitors and imitators have sprung up in recent moons trying to ride our hard work and dedication to you, the customer, with inferior and dangerous products.  We promise that Bronco Reborn will continue to be the leader in Energy Tonics made to precise alchemical specifications by our in house alchemist.  Designed with the hard working men and women of Eorzea in mind, there is nothing in the world like Bronco Reborn, and I'll stand by that.[/align]

 

 

Spahro Llorn

Vice President of BG Products

Dubious Distributions

[Coatleque]

Slowly, evenly, the darkened figure moved through the frozen city.  It would have even appeared to be gliding over the cobblestones had the heavy fall of boot steps not told otherwise.  It paused just before the door to the inn to stare at the wall of fluttering papers tacked and nailed for public display.

 

A long dagger was drawn, hefted, and reversed before being jammed violently into the poster.  The figure drew closer as if to speak to the image.  "Sinner", it hissed.  "Your words will no longer save you."  It's hand withdrawn, the knife left in place seemed to sever the head from the body of the image.  With one last snarl, the figure moved on.

[GloryRhodes]

[align=center]BRONCO REBORN[/align]

[align=center]

[/align]

[align=center]A New Formula![/align]

[align=center]A New Feeling![/align]

[align=center]Don't be fooled by competitors![/align]

[align=center]BRONCO REBORN![/align]

[align=center]5 gil at the Ruby Road Exchange, Dubious Distributions and The Grindstone![/align]

 

 

[align=center]Dubious Distributions is not responsible for any adverse physical, mental or aetherial effects caused by consumption of Bronco Reborn Energy Tonic.  Questions as to the ingredients of Bronco Reborn will be met with rhetoric and evasiveness.  Test groups have suffered minor myocardial infaction in rare cases.  Drink at your own risk.

[/align]

[Sig]

Sigurd had endured an awful evening at the Black and White ball, culminating in his dearest friend, Septimus Rem Nero Varus Nerva, punching him square in the jaw for simply uttering Septimus' full, gods-given name in public several times.  But perhaps the most awful, lingering part of that evening was a wine-stain that ruined one of his fitted formal shirts.  The Highlander had been recovering from the Garlean's "lucky punch" when a ebony-skin Miqo'te flung the glass of wine at him after finding Sigurd's conduct mildly objectionable.  Despite the force of Septimius' blow, Sigurd had not been punched so hard that he forgot the Miqo'te's face. 

 

"...Gods dammit.  Jaw still hur--," he muttered from that aching jaw, stopping mid-sentence as his eyes rolled over the promotional flier that had been posted outside the Quicksand.  The Highlander stopped dead in his tracks. The face of the Miqo'te who had flung wine on his shirt stared right back at him from the page. 

 

The streets of Ul'dah carried his voice: "A prude /and/ a FRAUD! Vexing!  Vexing!! VEXING!!!"  As much as Sigurd desired to scream additional disclaimers about the Miqo'te's marketing practices, his jaw ached far too much, leaving him unable to do much more than nurse it with a hand. At least his favorite watering hole was steps away and held the promise of 'one more drink' before work.