Awkward Situation

[SapphireSkylines]

So... I was in the Quicksand just recently with the intent on just people watching. If RP happened, that was fabulous, but I didn't have a whole lot of time because I was picking my friend up from work so I was kind of hesitant on dedicating myself to a random RP when I was leaving in 30 minutes. 

 

I sat on a barstool for a long while and a guy with a RP tag was on the barstool next to me. He didn't emote towards me, he didn't do nothing, he just sat there. 

 

About ten minutes later he emoted that he was frustrated and walked out of the Quicksand and then sent me a PM saying I was an asshole for not trying to interact with him... like what the fuck?  

 

He didn't even emote or anything. I scrolled up to check if I missed anything... which maybe I did and I just couldn't find it in the chat scroll but it didn't seem like he tried to initiate RP. So yeah, I don't know if I could've done better or worse in that situation but it was weird.

[Branson Thorne]

It's not your job to cater to other people for their RP needs/wants. So no, you handled the situation just fine, considering there wasn't really one to handle.

[Gegenji]

It's not your job to cater to other people for their RP needs/wants. So no, you handled the situation just fine, considering there wasn't really one to handle.

That's... basically how I'm seeing it. It's not your job to engage the wallflowers. Just because someone sits next to you at a bar does not mean you're obligated to RP with you. If he wanted to RP with you he should've emoted something, ANYTHING that might've hinted to that. Even if it's just... I dunno...

 

* Broody McEdgelord's gaze flicked to his right as he noticed the Miqo'te sitting next to him. He huffed, still weary from the thousand Garleans he had slaughtered singlehandedly for the capture and murder of his third mother, and looked back at his drink. A drink as dark as his soul.

 

SOMETHING. And even then you're under no obligation to engage him. So yeah. You're fine, don't worry about that guy.

[SapphireSkylines]

Thanks guys. And that Broody McEdgelord guy sounds pretty amazing, you should make him. :3

[Kodie]

Dude sounds like he's going to be getting plenty of rp partners

[Gegenji]

Thanks guys. And that Broody McEdgelord guy sounds pretty amazing, you should make him. :3

I'll pass on that, if you don't mind.

[Blackwell]

With that attitude they're rocking it might be best that you didn't reach out. Jeeze!

 

That being said I agree with everyone else in here. You did nothing wrong, if they wanted RP they should have reached out, instead of being passive and then being a jerk when it didn't go how they wanted.

[RiniKett]

Thanks guys. And that Broody McEdgelord guy sounds pretty amazing, you should make him. :3

I'll pass on that, if you don't mind.

 

Doesn't he already exist? Pretty sure I've heard his name as an example before. Though it might have been slightly different.

 

Anyway, it's an issue some people have, expecting people to just notice them. I personally try to interact with those around me who are too shy to start posts, but this guy is obviously not that shy to message you.

 

But, I don't really want to focus on him that much because that technically could make this a nudge toward a call out post, but if you are looking for reassurance that you shouldn't feel guilty then you shouldn't. And if you really want to cover yourself when someone does this, just politely tell them you're sorry, didn't know they wanted a post and wish em a good day. Kindness kills animosity and will most likely make them feel like an ass while you know you went the extra mile to show that kindness.

 

Hope this helps! Cheers!

[Reylin]

Just like in RL, when a stranger sits next to you at a bar, it's up to the female to make the first move!    Shoots, most places I go to, if someone sat next to me they're just someone sitting next to me.

 

In RP, if someone sits down or comes in and doesn't emote a single thing, they're basically not there.  They don't have to "say" anything but you should at least type that you're there and sitting silently.  Unlike RL in RP we can't see you doing anything else.

 

This guy just sounds like an attention whore type that expects you to know "who I am" and engage for some reason.  The RP tag is a good thing, but it's not a "YOU MUST ENGAGE MEH!" sign.

 

Brush it off I say.

[Verad]

It's not your job to cater to other people for their RP needs/wants. So no, you handled the situation just fine, considering there wasn't really one to handle.

That's... basically how I'm seeing it. It's not your job to engage the wallflowers. Just because someone sits next to you at a bar does not mean you're obligated to RP with you. If he wanted to RP with you he should've emoted something, ANYTHING that might've hinted to that. Even if it's just... I dunno...

 

* Broody McEdgelord's gaze flicked to his right as he noticed the Miqo'te sitting next to him. He huffed, still weary from the thousand Garleans he had slaughtered singlehandedly for the capture and murder of his third mother, and looked back at his drink. A drink as dark as his soul.

 

SOMETHING. And even then you're under no obligation to engage him. So yeah. You're fine, don't worry about that guy.

 

I understand the logic behind this post, but good lord emoting something to the effect of "glancing at so-and-so" as an intro in the manner you describe is one of the most awkward things I can experience as a player. Half the reason I made a character that sells junk to strangers is so I would never have to do that.

 

The player's behavior in OP's post is unacceptable, to be clear. I just wonder if, to anyone else, an introduction of that nature is more repellent to RP than sitting in silence.

[Gegenji]

I was using that mostly as a joke. You'll obviously want to use something a little more engaging than just a glance, but the main point is just that - engaging the other person somehow through talk or emote rather than just sit there in silence expecting the other person to make the first move. And certainly not to get upset when you don't get engaged as the player mentioned in the OP did.

[ExAtomos]

That's... basically how I'm seeing it. It's not your job to engage the wallflowers. Just because someone sits next to you at a bar does not mean you're obligated to RP with you. If he wanted to RP with you he should've emoted something, ANYTHING that might've hinted to that. Even if it's just... I dunno...

 

* Broody McEdgelord's gaze flicked to his right as he noticed the Miqo'te sitting next to him. He huffed, still weary from the thousand Garleans he had slaughtered singlehandedly for the capture and murder of his third mother, and looked back at his drink. A drink as dark as his soul.

 

SOMETHING. And even then you're under no obligation to engage him. So yeah. You're fine, don't worry about that guy.

 

I understand the logic behind this post, but good lord emoting something to the effect of "glancing at so-and-so" as an intro in the manner you describe is one of the most awkward things I can experience as a player. Half the reason I made a character that sells junk to strangers is so I would never have to do that.

 

The player's behavior in OP's post is unacceptable, to be clear. I just wonder if, to anyone else, an introduction of that nature is more repellent to RP than sitting in silence.

 

Maybe? lol. While cringe-y, it does give me two things to work with... Broody wants to interact with me (or someone) and an opening to ask why he's so grumpy. If someone just sits there doing and saying nothing, I usually figure they are busy in another chat or want to be left alone.

 

Perhaps I'm guilty of it as well... when at a tavern, I prefer 'background noise' such as ordering a drink and paying for it, even if it gets lost in the scroll. Sure, I may toss in a bit about my character's voice showing fatigue or anger or whatever suits them at the time. If people nearby see it and want to interact, they can. If they ignore it, that's fine too, I was just getting a drink. And I try to do the same for others who provide similar easy to use openings.

[Mermaid]

It's not your job to cater to other people for their RP needs/wants. So no, you handled the situation just fine, considering there wasn't really one to handle.

That's... basically how I'm seeing it. It's not your job to engage the wallflowers. Just because someone sits next to you at a bar does not mean you're obligated to RP with you. If he wanted to RP with you he should've emoted something, ANYTHING that might've hinted to that. Even if it's just... I dunno...

 

* Broody McEdgelord's gaze flicked to his right as he noticed the Miqo'te sitting next to him. He huffed, still weary from the thousand Garleans he had slaughtered singlehandedly for the capture and murder of his third mother, and looked back at his drink. A drink as dark as his soul.

 

SOMETHING. And even then you're under no obligation to engage him. So yeah. You're fine, don't worry about that guy.

 

I understand the logic behind this post, but good lord emoting something to the effect of "glancing at so-and-so" as an intro in the manner you describe is one of the most awkward things I can experience as a player. Half the reason I made a character that sells junk to strangers is so I would never have to do that.

 

The player's behavior in OP's post is unacceptable, to be clear. I just wonder if, to anyone else, an introduction of that nature is more repellent to RP than sitting in silence.

Admittedly I'm new to the MMO roleplaying scene so I haven't encountered something like that personally. As someone with some roleplaying experience though I can try to put myself in the situation.

 

On the one hand, "Broody McEdgelord" is trying to get you to do the interacting. He wants to be an antisocial character and force you to figure out how to interact with him. Upon realizing this I think plenty of people would be frustrated and feeling like they're being made to do all the work.

 

On the other hand, it's still a step up from wallflower. Instead of standing around hoping (sometimes expecting) people will interact with him he's at least expressing a desire to roleplay with you. He's throwing out an admittedly poor excuse for interaction but at least the attempt is there.

 

For me personally I'm not sure if I would dislike it or not. I am a shy person with little self confidence so I tend to avoid walk ups because "what if they don't like my character/roleplaying/etc". Broody McEdgelord is expressing the desire to roleplay with me but he's not giving me much to work with.

[Flynn Bladebreaker]

Sadly this happens more often than it should, which is worrying. Sometimes it's a simple miss of seeing their message. Sometimes their message might not have gone through, and the game tells them this now. Other times they want to be 100% IC weather you like it or not, which is unfair to you if you're AFK. They might even have name tags off so they can't tell if you have the RP or AFK tag on. 

Point is this has happened to a lot of us. Something I dislike a lot is when I could be AFK or not IC (having no RP tag should be very obvious by now), someone will emote to me and if I don't reply in time they make a snarky emote after like "Fine, guess he's mute too." or "((Ignore me then I don't care))".

 

They aren't worth your time if they're gonna insult you for not acknowledging their character.

[Zhavi]

 

 

I understand the logic behind this post, but good lord emoting something to the effect of "glancing at so-and-so" as an intro in the manner you describe is one of the most awkward things I can experience as a player. Half the reason I made a character that sells junk to strangers is so I would never have to do that.

 

The player's behavior in OP's post is unacceptable, to be clear. I just wonder if, to anyone else, an introduction of that nature is more repellent to RP than sitting in silence.

 

Yeah. To me, it means you're relying on my character to be staring at yours at the exact right moment. It relies on my character being aware of their surroundings, or at least aware of your character...which they aren't, always.

 

I prefer to have my character engaged in living. I emote over about 3-5 minute intervals, with my character doing something or involved with the setting if my character isn't interested in starting up a conversation with a stranger. The repeated emotes gives other players a chance to notice what my character is doing or, if they're right nearby, I'll have my character accidentally invade their personal space or whatnot, and react to that (either as an apology or get out of my way or whatever) -- but something to interact with and respond to.

 

Strangers look at each other all the time in real life because it's part of noticing your surroundings. But rarely does that glance or stare mean 'please come up and talk to me.' More often than not it's just...people watching. And my character isn't going to take a brief glance as an invitation to strike up conversation, unless I happen to play a creep or a socially clueless loudmouth (like zhi).

[Nero]

I can't imagine that the wallflower approach works well enough for anyone to attempt it more than once. This is akin to lighting a match and expecting your neighbour to use it to grill an entire cow for you, and when they don't you instead set yourself on fire while shouting "YOU MADE ME DO THIS!"

[Verad]

I can't imagine that the wallflower approach works well enough for anyone to attempt it more than once. This is akin to lighting a match and expecting your neighbour to use it to grill an entire cow for you, and when they don't you instead set yourself on fire while shouting "YOU MADE ME DO THIS!"

 

I think if you actually did the above you'd get a lot of responses in a hurry.

 

Do your best, folks. Light yourselves on fire in front of strangers.

[Nero]

Now that I think about it, I can't believe that Ala Mhigan monks haven't been setting themselves on fire in protest of the occupation.

 

I'd love for someone to try that as an intro to RP. Sit in the Quicksand and set yourself on fire.

[MistyMornings]

I'm not a huge fan of the "glance at someone" approach either. It does rely on the other person to do the actual approaching, and I think a direct interaction usually works better.

 

I will sometimes "take the bait" and interact with someone who's glancing at my character, but it's happened quite a few times that even that is met with, well, pretty much nothing. To me, emoting at someone usually means you're at least somewhat interested in interacting with them, but I've tried several times that someone glanced at my character, she responded, and was then met with maybe a grunt or just general dismissal. And some characters are like that, I get that, but then I don't think it's the ideal place to look for interactions with them, because now you're not only relying on someone else to do the approach, you're also relying on them to keep pushing your character for interaction, which can be hard to expect from strangers.

 

With my less-than-social characters, I usually prefer getting them into storylines with friends where I know we can talk about how to get them involved in a way that is fun for both of us. And then, if I want to bring them to larger gatherings, I usually go with those friends, so my character has a reason to get dragged into interactions.

[Faye]

Sadly, this is what people are talking about when they mention how some people in the community feel "entitled" to RP without putting any effort in whatsoever. You didn't do anything in this situation. You can't be blamed for anyone else's bad attitude and lack of social skills. If you see others around you who seem to be "fishing" for RP--even ones doing it as poorly as this guy was--it would definitely be nice of you to approach them and emote at them, but you are not at all obligated or expected to do that.

 

And the "glances at ____" approach can work if you want to get someone's attention, but is a thing that's easy enough to miss or write off IC and/or OOC that I don't think anyone can rightly get frustrated if the other role-player doesn't take the bait.

[Verad]

Now that I think about it, I can't believe that Ala Mhigan monks haven't been setting themselves on fire in protest of the occupation.

 

I'd love for someone to try that as an intro to RP. Sit in the Quicksand and set yourself on fire.

 

With the right amount of setup, it could be a good pre-Stormblood event. The trick would be framing the posts so as to avoid the issue of the other way that is a frequently awkward introduction - stumbling into a public place while badly wounded and begging for help. Self-immolation could easily come off as that.

[Kellach Woods]

For some reason, I'd think some Ala Mhigan monks would sooner set themselves on fire in order to punch the enemy because clearly fire punches are superior than use self-immolation as a protest thing.

 

Also, isn't Rhalgr's whole schtick lightning?

[Arrelaine]

Maaaan I knew this one person who would do the weird 'not to anyone' emotes trying to set bait. Like, they would get so mad when no one responded to their character sitting there smoking like 10 feet away. There seems to be quite a few roleplayers like this, but I've only personally met one. I only knew them for a short stint, but no, you don't owe anyone anything. The glancing pointedly at someone's character until they respond weirds me out just as someone doing it RL some place.

 

I'll occasionally use the 'not to anyone' emoting because I feel awkward having my character -not- emote, but I don't expect anyone to really respond to it outside of 'ok this person is not afk'.

[ckingch]

This is why I've gotten used to sending /tells to people asking if they are IC and approachable, or asking if they wanna RP and perhaps they initiate contact because my character's in a mood or whatever. Though, due to his outgoing nature I'm mostly doing the initializing.