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About Mermaid

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    The Soft-Spoken Songstress
  • Birthday 09/18/1988

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    Tsubaki Yuzuka
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  1. Except I have been diagnosed with the mental disorders I have. I have gone through therapy in the past. They do impact my life. In several cases, I have learned how to cope. I noped out of responding to the post above yours as soon as I saw the words "self-diagnosis". Medical insurance sucks and there is some stuff I'm not medicated for that I could be if I so desired (ADHD being a big one though plenty of people dislike medicating for that) but this is all stuff I've been diagnosed with and sought medical help for before. Specifically talking about the social anxiety and using a relevant example, I spend a good 5 minutes talking myself into pushing the "Join Call" button before joining a big group of new people and then forcing myself to be talkative all while my mind is screaming at me. It took time for me to build that up which is why I figured something like this would be a similar hurdle. Perhaps I didn't stress this point enough previously but I try not to over explain things and didn't expect people to come into the thread accusing me of self-diagnosis. Regardless, me having to defend the fact I have been diagnosed by actual doctors completely gets off the point of this thread. I understand it's all well-meaning but if it continues I will ask moderation to lock this. Please keep further commentary relevant to the topic.
  2. I have started working on a second character that I hope to have leveled in time for the server changes. Still feeling the same anxiety trying to initiate any sort of walk-up. I just....can't bring myself to RP with people I haven't chatted with a little beforehand. I don't think anxiety is a majority issue in the game overall but it certainly seems like a prevalent one in the RP community. Also, porque no los dos? I log in and get content done at a savage level and the only drama there is your typical static drama. I feel the social anxiety when it comes to messaging a prospective static and get your typical tryout imposter syndrome, of course. Once I'm in a Discord call with a potential group, I've dealt with this stuff enough to know how to socialize with the other people and I've never been turned down due to anything like personality, attitude, or being too quiet. It is to the point I've had one group say they'd turn down a duo because they liked my personality and another that turned me down due to skill/main class come back several weeks later, after I hung out with one of the members and subbed for them, asking if I was still interested. The point being social anxiety is only having this much of an impact on my ability to roleplay. I don't really think I need to seek therapy just so I can roleplay in a video game.
  3. Glancing at your other post I could actually work with your weird hours. I've kinda hit a wall with my own RP and I'm not entirely sure I could offer you the sort of character you're looking for? I will throw the offer out there nonetheless and say there's info linked in my signature that includes my Discord info if you're interested. I will also say I'm bored af contentwise with the raid tier cleared, EX primals farmed to death, and Eureka being a massive flop so I'm 100% at that point where I am more than happy to go back and help people with content every now and then.
  4. Not at all! A lot of that is really interesting and is probably stuff I should try! Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to put the advice in this thread to use I very likely won't be in the near future. When I made this thread I had found a group of people to hang out with but was only RPing with one maybe two of them. As I'm trying to work on getting better at this for them a bunch of drama happens behind the scenes and the group splits in half. The main person I was RPing with is naturally on the side I'm scared shitless of and no longer seems interested in RPing with me so now I've gone from trying to get over my problems to...not even RPing. I really do appreciate all the advice and would love to see more on the off chance that one day I do get a chance to work on this problem again.
  5. Ack, saw this response a little late in the week. When I did I wanted a chance to gather my thoughts before responding because I felt like what I had to offer on one point might be relevant to anyone in the future who might find this thread looking for advice themselves. First, I want to clarify and say I didn't make a socially anxious character I made one that was shy and not exactly great at talking to people. She can spout sayings and wisdom read from books or force herself to be happy and cheerful when it seems like someone's down but outside of that she's reserved and afraid of what people will think when they talk to her. Bailing from a social event last week was really not to her character and I wrote an IC excuse for her not showing up. Subtle differences I'm sure but I wanted to make it known it's not as severe as giving my character social anxiety. I play a lot of D&D/Pathfinder and I really struggle with the improv of verbal roleplay. Playing a more reserved character was also 100% a crutch for my improv failure. I wanted something easy to practice with. Again, probably still a problem but I wanted it clarified for any future commenters. Now onto the more important part of me playing D&D/Pathfinder. I'll do the same thing there where I play the quiet characters about half the time but the other half I go out of that comfort zone. In fact, I'm set to play one in a few days. This has mixed results. Sometimes I can get really into the new persona and other times I flub it so hard other people don't know what my character is supposed to be. Practice, practice, practice, I know, but I've been practicing for several years now and don't feel like I've gotten much better. On that note, I have made a character that's more outgoing. She's bold and boisterous even. I've brought her into the QS and just gone people watching but let's be real half those times I also think "What if I just walk up to people and RP?". The character has certainly gotten a lot of attention for looks/glamour even more than than my main RP character that's at least a year older. Once when I was leveling her I got asked to join an FC that would've fit her but at the time I didn't think I could give an FC the time/attention it deserved. Another time I watched a bar fight and really, really, REALLY wanted to throw her into the fray because it seemed like a lot of fun but no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I couldn't bring myself to do it. Last week I brought her in there purely to compare the Balmung scene to the Mateus scene and was whispered by someone asking about my character as, despite having nothing about RP in my search info, he assumed from my glamour, the fact I didn't have a nonsense name, and the fact I was in the QS that I RPed. I REALLY wanted to RP with this guy but instead I apologized and said I hadn't really RPed that character before. He still invited me to check out his FC and, damn, if I can remember what it was maybe I should hit them up. For whatever reason though, I just have not been able to force myself to play this character. I have been toying with the idea of making another character. Maybe something a little less out there but also less shy. I struggle to convince myself to do this for two reasons. The first is it feels like giving up on my main and just making new characters when you hit a few bumps with one leads to a vicious cycle. The second is that I just hate the QS as a setting and I feel like that would be the go to place for practicing more public things. Who knows, maybe I should just go for it.
  6. I'm more looking for advice regarding RPing with social anxiety as opposed to social anxiety itself. I'm sure there's tons of advice for social anxiety out there or more general websites/forums I could go to for that. I figured the problem was a little more niche and thus required a more niche forum. Thank you for the comment though.
  7. So let's start at the beginning. A dozen or so years ago I was a depressed kid struggling to get through high school. I, like many others with mental and physical illness, discovered and began dabbling in forum and chat room RP at this time. Looking back on the sort of stuff I did it was awful and cringey and yet I had no qualms waltzing into a thread or chat room and just going for it. Fast forward to today and the depression seems to have turned into anxiety. The lonely teenager who used to jump into chat rooms and talk to random people is now a woman who struggles to be the first to send a message on Discord. I wrote a shy/socially awkward character to hopefully give myself something easy to work with on that front. I figured RP was something I could still do since I'm hidden behind not only a screen but a character and surrounded by people doing the same thing I am. Well, I can but it's been a struggle. For the first time I'm finally starting to go in game to RP. I panic nearly every time and I can't RP in /say in public areas but I still do it. Once I start it isn't so bad though I notice it gets harder with every person added to the scene. Then I got invited to a small public event and suddenly I couldn't push past it. I stood outside the house the event was at for a solid 10 minutes or more before apologizing profusely to one of the people who'd invited me and fleeing. I felt a sort of jittery feeling for the next hour or so and only shook it by taking a hot shower. There wasn't any denying it, I'd had an anxiety attack. So what's the point of all this? I don't want to just accept that that's that and that I'll never be able to go hang out with people and RP outside of Discord and one and one scenarios. I don't want to roll over and let mental illness rob me of something I used to enjoy simply because I've changed the platform. I want to improve. Unfortunately, this is a new struggle for me and I don't know how. So I'm asking you. All you people with social anxiety struggling alongside me or watching your friends struggle, what are some ways to deal with it? Are there steps that can be taken? A natural progression of easing yourself into more public scenes, perhaps? Or do you just keep ripping the band-aid off over and over? Everyone's different and what works for some many not work for others but I'm afraid I'm at a loss here for how to handle this.
  8. Have a friend saying she went to White Tree Beauty on Balmung on the 19th at around 9:20 pm EST and while there were people RPing there was apparently no one staffing the event.
  9. If the character's only level 18 you might as well just remake it with the lore accurate name. At most, you lost a couple hours of work. That said names are probably the thing people are the least fussy about. A lot of people make the same mistake you did and the community tends to be sympathetic. For me personally, it only really bothers me when people try to play a lore inaccurate name like it makes sense. I prefer when people either use their backstory to explain an inaccurate name or use a different name for the purpose of RP.
  10. It'll probably draw a little criticism but I think only the pickiest of people would avoid people borrowing a last name from other media. I've seen people in the Quicksand RPing at the bar who have ripped their full name from some anime. Hell, I've seen someone on Mateus with an RP tag up that took their character's name from a Pathfinder villain of all things. Personally my concern when I see characters like that is just how much they're trying to make their character like their namesake. I don't think anyone'll complain about Arthur Leonheart, the paladin with a heart of gold, but Arthur Leonheart, the brooding gunblade wielder, is probably going to have some problems.
  11. Whoa, okay. I'm really grateful for all the advice, especially for Ryuji making a few points that just sort of made the light-bulb turn on, but please don't derail this thread. My comment was meant to empathize with OP's struggle to find stable partners not steal his (or her?) thread. Again, I'm really grateful and anyone with further comments is free to message me directly but I feel terrible coming back and seeing half this thread's posts seem to be directed at me.
  12. Mermaid

    Hello world!

    ADHD and anxiety? I know how that feels. They're both reasons that make me freak out when it comes to RPing in game. "This person can see me moving. It's like they're staring at me waiting for me to type! Aaa!" "I type so slow. What if i can't focus well enough on top of that?!" You get the idea. Since Liadan pointed out the World Visit I feel like maybe I should mention that Adamantoise will be on the Aether data center after the redistribution. The largest population of RPers are on Balmung and Mateus which will be on the Crystal data center. Aether does have smaller RP communities on Gilgamesh and Jenova that you'll be able to interact with after they implement the World Visit system. It might be a little hard to find RP until then.
  13. Big mood in regards to the last ditch effort. I've been poking around for a year and have yet to be able to find anyone consistent. Feel like I might be due for a last ditch effort myself since it seems like I can't get anything to work. I'm extremely shaky with in game RP (I hate the "walk-up" RP everyone loves where it's literally just "run into someone at a bar and start talking") and I'm not sure how well I could make times match. You're free to hit me up if you manage to catch me though and best of luck finding RP.
  14. Mermaid

    Oh, hellooo

    They said recently that the server changes aren't happening in 4.5 (January 8th) and won't be happening until, I believe, 4.55. I believe March was thrown out there for when to expect it but I don't have a source for that on hand. Pretty sure it was all in the recent Live Letter/Letter from the Producer. So, uh, hopefully OP is fine with taking a few months to level before he/she gets to use the World Visit.
  15. I'm always up for Discord RP. There should be links with info in my signature though I'm sure some of it could do with an update.Fair warning that raiding, both learning fights and the drama the inevitably happens, has left me a little brain dead recently. I'm also pretty new to setting up plots and the like due in part to a lot of people flaking out before I got anywhere. Everybody wants to do quick in-game stuff in the MMO the setting is from instead of Discord. Who could've guessed? Lol
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