Rumors about my FC?

[Thorbought]

I am the leader of a small tavern/adventuring fc. I'd rather stay anonymous as to not invite more shit but I've been getting a lot of rumors about my fc and I'm not sure what to do. A few months ago I started getting whispers from completely random people [like level one alts] that there is negative rumors about my fc going around. I didn't pay it much mind but I was still completely baffled as we hadn't ever had any drama with outside people besides internal issues and with previous members we had to remove. The rumors didn't seem to go away and most recently I feel like this problem has gotten worse. I've been linked a few blogs that review places to visit in Eorzea and we've gotten frankly quite terrible reviews and I'm just rather suspicious of it all. Perhaps we are terrible, but the reviews seem quite nitpicky and most people who visit the tavern in person only had positive things to say. The worst of it is when I learned that someone who had given a positive review on their blog but they were messaged by someone anonymous, complaining about the positive review of us. It's again, all rumors, but I can't help but feel like we're being targeted for hate and I'm frankly not sure why. Is this normal for fcs?

[NineChameleon]

It does seem strange. Has anyone you removed in the past made any allusions to trying to get back at you? I know that some people especially on Balmung are just rude to other people for kicks (I have been the victim of a few myself). If the reviews people are actually giving you who have been to your FC are positive then it might just be one malicious agent trying to get back at you for something. 

I don't think it is normal, but maybe have a check with your FC people that they haven't been rude to other people outside the FC and such.

[Askier]

If I was a betting man, I'd say this sounds like someone or someones you removed from your FC due to drama (you mentioned that in your post) that have, for some reason, decided to be a petty person months later. Obviously I don't know the specifics but that's What I'd hazard a guess at.

 

And sadly you are not alone. Several FC leaders on this site have reported stories about people doing similar things. For some reason, some people never move on with life. Sorry to hear you are dealing with that. All I can advise the keep trying to push for people who enjoy your events to review as well cause otherwise there really is no magic bullet cure.

[xelliexell]

I hate to say it, but I think this is normal. All it takes is one aggressively salty player who believes they were "wrongly removed" to start a crusade like this.

 

Try not to be too discouraged by the drama. In a way, it comes with the territory of running a guild. Paying attention to this person (or persons) is ultimately a waste of your time - time that could be better spent on much greater pursuits.

 

When something like this happened to me, I just kind of chuckled and shrugged and wished that player the best. They seemed to put in a lot of effort toward "getting back at" our guild, while I was conversely not paying attention and just focused on making a super fun environment for my current members. After about six months, I think they realized I didn't care and their motivation naturally petered out.

 

So yeah, if you think your public reputation is bad, don't fall into the drama trap. Instead of thinking about trying to repair whatever "PR" damage this person is doing, think about ways to improve your guild. Funnel your energy into unique ideas that would be crazy fun for anyone fortunate enough to attend. If you notice a trend with something not working right, set about fixing that thing in a positive way.

 

Again, don't play the drama game. Just focus on your peeps and all the great stuff you can do for them, and for the community at large. If you create a unique and fantastic guild, then positive reviews will come. That is a much better use of your time, trust me!

[Aedan Marceaux]

You play a game that has a very loud tumblrina group that plays it as well. If you so much as blink wrong, this group gets triggered and runs off to tumblr to say how much of a privileged ass you are and such.

 

I have no clue how large the group is, but in my experience there are a lot more in this game than one would expect. So many delicate little flowers ready to get triggered and offended for even the slightest of things.

 

So yeah... it is common, unfortunately. Just keep on keeping on doing what it is that you enjoy doing.

[NineChameleon]

 All I can advise the keep trying to push for people who enjoy your events to review as well cause otherwise there really is no magic bullet cure.

 

Askier hit it right on the head here. I know it can be hard to ignore the hate. Especially if it seems to come for no reason at all. But if your FC continues to grow the good will surely outweigh the bad in the end. But if you are determined to find the source maybe try following these hate posts back and try to find the source. Or maybe do some reporting if people are harassing you (even though that is a little extreme) 

 

If the levels of the people harassing you are low, it could be that they are all alts from the same person trying to be a jerk.

[Thorbought]

Thank you all for the helpful words. It's hard to get off my mind right now, especially the bad reviews of our place, but you are all right...it's probably best to focus my energy elsewhere. And to be honest, it makes me feel better to hear it is a rather normal problem.

[Askier]

You play a game that has a very loud tumblrina group that plays it as well. If you so much as blink wrong, this group gets triggered and runs off to tumblr to say how much of a privileged ass you are and such.

 

I have no clue how large the group is, but in my experience there are a lot more in this game than one would expect. So many delicate little flowers ready to get triggered and offended for even the slightest of things.

 

So yeah... it is common, unfortunately. Just keep on keeping on doing what it is that you enjoy doing.

 

To be fair, they were triggered even before tumblr. Lol.

[Nebbs]

If members like being in your FC, and people like coming to your events then that is all that counts.

 

Maybe do some publicity yourselves and have a place guests can add thanks to.

 

You can't control the "out there" crowed, don't let them control you.

[Nebbs]

You play a game that has a very loud tumblrina group that plays it as well. If you so much as blink wrong, this group gets triggered and runs off to tumblr to say how much of a privileged ass you are and such.

 

I have no clue how large the group is, but in my experience there are a lot more in this game than one would expect. So many delicate little flowers ready to get triggered and offended for even the slightest of things.

 

So yeah... it is common, unfortunately. Just keep on keeping on doing what it is that you enjoy doing.

 

Indeed - Haters gotta hate and toxics don't detox

[Thorbought]

You play a game that has a very loud tumblrina group that plays it as well. If you so much as blink wrong, this group gets triggered and runs off to tumblr to say how much of a privileged ass you are and such.

 

I have no clue how large the group is, but in my experience there are a lot more in this game than one would expect. So many delicate little flowers ready to get triggered and offended for even the slightest of things.

 

So yeah... it is common, unfortunately. Just keep on keeping on doing what it is that you enjoy doing.

Yeah...as someone who has gone through a bit of members..there's people willing to start shit and get upset over the smallest little issue.

[Kilieit]

I don't think it's helpful to pin the blame on one demographic of people over another. I happened to run a guild with """tumblrina""" rules like "don't use slurs" and "don't make racist jokes", and we had this exact kind of issue, people trying to spread rumours and making level 1 alts to try and make us think it was more than just them... from people who were kicked for breaking them. The "rumours" were along the lines of that we were a guild of over-sensitive SJWs and that I was a dictator with "oppression privilege". Because these people were mad that I'd told them they couldn't stay in our guild if they kept breaking the very clear rule we had about slurs and didn't stop calling things r*t*rded.

 

And of course they tried to use this image against me - paint me as a hysterical child who was "triggered" by the tiniest thing, and therefore couldn't possibly run a decent guild. It was all bollocks, and it never stuck, because at the end of the day our guild was decent, openly, and added a significant amount of value to the RP community with our presence. But that didn't stop the attempted harassment campaigns. I think it took the most tenacious of them a year (and some actual, legit, not-sure-in-retrospect-why-I-didn't-call-the-police stalking of me personally) to give up.

 

Point is, people like this - who start a harassment campaign when you tell them to leave - exist in any cross-section of any community you sample. You can't afford to think that all the people in your group will be reasonable when crossed just because you happen to agree with them on other matters, like politics or game lore.

 

As for how to deal with it:

 

1. Don't give them a rise. Don't get upset at them. Don't reply to the level 1 alt tells at all. Blacklist the original person who caused the issue, if you haven't already. You are not obligated to entertain this. If your members bring it up, address it with them in a calm, transparent way. Say that such-and-such a member was kicked for [reason], and then these rumours began. Tell them they're free to ignore the level 1 alt if it's causing them distress. Tell them if they have any concerns about the way the FC is run, they're free to bring them to the officer team as per usual (and then address them in the usual manner you do, which I hope is open and considerate). And if an outside player asks you, you're not obligated to either prostrate yourself to them or to give them details. Tell them you would hope people would witness your FC first-hand before believing bad things about it, and then change the subject. Think twice about recruiting this kind of person - if they can believe bad rumours about you now, what of later?

 

2. Don't change your FC's behaviour. Barring simple and non-loaded things like locking an FC house to non-members, you shouldn't change the way you run your events, interact with the wider community, or advertise for recruitment. Changing these things teaches the person that if they want to stop you from, say, openly recruiting for your FC, all they need to do is create 3 level 1 alts and send you /tells doubting your leadership. So next time they want to change something about your behaviour, they'll create 3 more alts. Remember that, at the end of the day, you have very little evidence these rumours are actually rumours. Treating them like they're real makes them more real. Don't give this person the satisfaction. [This differs from advice when it comes to IRL stalking, because online, there's no actual physical danger involved in just continuing about your business.]

 

3. Don't be afraid to get the GMs involved if things get out of hand. The GMs in this game take stalking and harassment very seriously. Privately collect the names of the level 1 alts who send you /tells about this (blacklisting them is a good way to do this automatically, especially if you don't have many other people on your blacklist). If it keeps up for too long (honestly the fact you're writing to us today tells me you're already fed up), gets worse, or the messages get at all threatening, file a GM ticket. They'll tell you what they can do and help you out as best they can. And if you happen to get an unhelpful GM, file again, as you'll likely get a different member of staff handling your ticket - though I've honestly never heard of someone having problems with the GMs with regards to harassment. Compared to the GMs in WoW, the ones in XIV are pretty clued up on problems like this.

 

Good luck. I also want to emphasise: this is not your fault. It's not your fault and it's actually not your job to handle it, even though you more or less have to. This person is being horrible by doing what they're doing, and that's on them, not you. If you want to know whether you're running the FC well, look to yourself and what you're doing - not to reviews on random websites, and not to the words of level 1 alts who may or may not belong to someone who feels unduly slighted and has nothing better to do than to try and turn that feeling back on you.

[Gegenji]

If you want to know whether you're running the FC well, look to yourself and what you're doing - not to reviews on random websites, and not to the words of level 1 alts who may or may not belong to someone who feels unduly slighted and has nothing better to do than to try and turn that feeling back on you.

 

Or you could also ask the people in the FC itself - the ones still around. While it could end up being hug-box-y and echo-chamber-y... if your FC is set up where people are able and willing to provide critique on how the FC is run, I'm sure they would tell you. Though, I would also hope that if there were concerns they might have already raised them in a polite manner - though I can understand why they wouldn't, due to nerves or not wanting to "rock the boat."

[Kilieit]

If you want to know whether you're running the FC well, look to yourself and what you're doing - not to reviews on random websites, and not to the words of level 1 alts who may or may not belong to someone who feels unduly slighted and has nothing better to do than to try and turn that feeling back on you.

 

Or you could also ask the people in the FC itself - the ones still around. While it could end up being hug-box-y and echo-chamber-y... if your FC is set up where people are able and willing to provide critique on how the FC is run, I'm sure they would tell you. Though, I would also hope that if there were concerns they might have already raised them in a polite manner - though I can understand why they wouldn't, due to nerves or not wanting to "rock the boat."

 

Yes this - basically look to people invested in the FC's success, not people invested in its failure. So you, your officer team (if you have one), and your members. Actively open the communication channels. Be honest with yourself about where you're having shortcomings (no one should kid themself here - every FC has them), and ask for feedback on how to improve in those areas. Ask what people like and don't like about the things you already do well. Ask if there's anything people would like to see more of.

[ExAtomos]

Yeah...as someone who has gone through a bit of members..there's people willing to start shit and get upset over the smallest little issue.

 

This is a bit of a red flag to me. Why is your FC going through so many people? In my experience, you'll get the odd temperamental sort or someone that never fits in, but never a bunch. You may want to take a good look at your recruitment policies to see what kind of people you are pulling in. There may be a mismatch between how y'all seem on paper vs. how you are day to day. Also, if you recruit everything, you're gonna get everything... good and bad.

 

As for the attack on your tavern, yeah it sounds like basic immature revenge.

[Maril]

Over time most FC's will experience having to remove people. It can be fairly benign, such as incompatibilities with the theme or RP style or it can just be down to drama. It's really nothing unusual either that people who were removed with drama to follow will try to flame and spread rumors as others have mentioned. My personal experience, with both rumors about a person and rumors about a free company, is that the good stuff you do will outweigh the bad - and at the end of the day, if people buy into the rumorstream, then they're probably people who you don't want to collect that many of anyways. It's easy to get obsessed over what people think of you/your fc, and having people around you who are keen on never interacting with anyone they've heard a bad rumor about is just going to make things worse. So, even though it's hard, try to shrug it off ^^

[ArmachiA]

Yeah...as someone who has gone through a bit of members..there's people willing to start shit and get upset over the smallest little issue.

 

This is a bit of a red flag to me. Why is your FC going through so many people? In my experience, you'll get the odd temperamental sort or someone that never fits in, but never a bunch. You may want to take a good look at your recruitment policies to see what kind of people you are pulling in. There may be a mismatch between how y'all seem on paper vs. how you are day to day. Also, if you recruit everything, you're gonna get everything... good and bad.

 

As for the attack on your tavern, yeah it sounds like basic immature revenge.

 

Could be a larger FC? The Night Blades ballooned up to 100ish members last year and we have a pretty big revolving door on people jumping in to the FC because it was large, but leaving a few weeks later because it was large haha. I'm glad we downsized though, it gets to a certain point in FC leadership (ESPECIALLY RP FCs) where too many people has diminishing returns.

 

As for your issue, People are going to talk shit. That's the truth. I've been running an FC since 2003 and one of the things I had to learn was to get a thicker skin because people will talk a lot of shit. I've heard rumors about my FC in this game (Mostly we're elitist's who hate the community and we suck) but you gotta let it roll off your back.

 

The best advice I can give is, while you can chant "Haters gon' hate" all day, actually look into the rumors and see if anything is somewhat justified. There are always avenues you can improve your guild and how you run it, but people tend not to tell you that while they're in it, they only tend to throw criticism once they've left - not really helping you at all. If the rumors are completely unfounded - ignore them. They don't pertain to you. They're ultimately meaningless ramblings of an angry former guildie. If there is some truth to them, then make a mental note to do better next time. You don't have to address the people spreading them (In fact, I'd advise against it) but you can make a note for next time to do things differently.

 

Also, Haters Gon' Hate.

[Teadrinker]

You always want to be more wary of people who sit in circles and talk rumors more so than you want to be of ones who just seem to be trying to carry on and enjoy the game and their RP.

 

Indeed - Haters gotta hate and toxics don't detox

[Perth]

The others have the right of it. See if there's some truth to the rumours. Practice some self-awareness, ask some members. If there's nothing to worry about on the inside, don't worry too much about the outside. Roleplayers write drama as a hobby, some of them don't quite leave it to roleplay, however.

[Thorbought]

There's another fc that we're friendly with that have confirmed to us that there are people bad mouthing us but I personally have no idea what the rumors are, just that they exist. And the reviews for the tavern we've gotten just seem so...nit picky? I don't want to just assume that it's not valid criticism but they complain about uncomfortable seating in an rp restaurant and say we're one of the worst places they've gone to. The whispers I've gotten only say 'there's people saying bad things about you' but never tell me what.

[Kilieit]

Yeah my advice still stands. Put this out of your mind completely, stop asking other people about it, stop replying to random /tells at all, and work on any improvements with feedback from people who are actually invested in your FC.

[ArmachiA]

If people aren't telling you what people are saying beyond "THEY ARE SAYING BAD THINGS THO." ignore them. They obviously don't care enough to tell you specifics so you shouldn't care enough to listen to them.

[Aurou]

Your main concern should be keeping everyone *within* your FC happy. As long as that's happening and you all are enjoying your RP, your environment, and your company who cares about the rest? Don't let the random salt get you down, because that's exactly what it's intended to do. Ruin your fun. Ignore it. Blacklist the random hate /tell senders and do not dignify them with a response. If you let them know that they are getting to you they will continue to harass you. Eventually, if you just let it all drop, they will get bored and move on to something else.

[Shuck]

Dude, there's some things you have to ask yourself about these kinds of messages.

 

First, and most importantly: Am I the asshole here?

 

When I ask myself this question, the answer is "yes", but you might not answer that way. I see the call for self-awareness has already gone off, and that's good, you should follow that.

 

Second: How much do I care?

 

People say dumb shit about dumb shit all the time, and words are cheap. They have as much value as you assign them, and literally nothing more.

 

I mean, for a while? It was word-of-mouth that me and mine were fake roleplayers only interested in trolling other people. I didn't give a shit, I just kept doing what I was doing, and now I break the anecdote out every now and then as a point of comedy.

 

I guess the point is: Get to a spot where you can break this anecdote out as a point of comedy, because roleplayers don't have a Yelp! page, and even if they did, who fucking cares. What are they gonna do, report you to the Better Roleplaying Bureau? Call the Imagination Police?

 

Call 'em, you don't give a fuck.

[Faye]

As others have said, this is sadly a pretty normal experience with running FC's. The cause is typically someone who has been rejected, removed, or left on what they feel is a negative note getting salty. They tell their friends and impressionable strangers who often get salty, too, and keep the rumormill going, who tell their own friends and other impressionable strangers, etc. Of course, there are other causes sometimes--other FC's jealous because they feel they're in competition with yours, random ass people who feel your FC is doing something "wrong" and that they could run it better than the current leadership, people who have had a negative experience with a single one of your FC members (past or present), the list goes on. People will cause drama about the pettiest of things.

 

If the rumors are concerning you, you can look into it to find out what is being said, by who, and why. Once you find out who is at the source, you could try talking with them, but that's honestly probably a lost cause. It would be better to just find out what the rumors are to see if there's any truth behind them and see if there are improvements that could be made to your FC and its image. With level one alts messaging you to say "people are saying bad things" and giving no further detail, though, it just sounds like one of the people who feel they've been wronged by your FC is trying to start drama and upset you, rather than a helpful player trying to give you a heads up.

 

So the best advice I can give is to keep doing the best you can with your FC to make it a positive environment for its members and the people around it. Less rumors will start/spread that way, and people will be less likely to believe the rumors when they hear them. And remember that in the end, anyone who's going to look down on your FC or avoid it based on completely unfounded rumors is no one you need around you or your FC, anyway.