Meeting people as a stoic/anti-social character?

[Thorbought]

I've reached a kind of bizarre conundrum. I have a character I really like to rp but I find it kind of hard to get through the initial part of greetings and such. They have some attitude problems, come off as a jerk, and generally keep to themselves. Now that's nice and all but it's very hard to find RP if I just sit there quietly and brood all the time so I have to do the usual 'hello, how's it going' with that kind of character. So I'm wondering, how do you get people to come RP with a quiet/stoic type of character? Should I ask them oocly to come talk to me? I don't want to do that each time >.

[Aaron]

Use an outsider factor neither you or the other person has control over. Accidental bump into the other person, begrudgingly asking for directions to somewhere, mistaking them for someone you knew IC (even if they look nothing alike or the person you knew doesn't exist even lol)

 

Or solo RP doing something in public like cleaning your weapon or talking to a minion. Odds are if you do the boring "X looks around people watching" approach you're in line with the 100 others doing the same and waiting for walk ups. If your character doesn't walk up, make yourself unique in idle action so others approach you then.

 

Take this with a grain of salt though, as I haven't RPed in months lol

[Shadottie]

Actions speak louder than words at times!  I personally have a hard time hitting up the smalltalk-bar rp scene, so I pushed myself in other ways for the quiet/reserved bunch I have. It can be a bit nerve-wracking to put yourself out there and especially be the one to start up RP, but I believe in you! ;u;

Things like ... looking for a lost item and hooking people with a need to help; or stumbling across lost item and asking others if it's theirs!  Minions are great too, like, finding a stray cat/dog and what do with it??? 

 

One I used to use as a hook outside the Quicksand was having my character help tend to the chocobo stalls and struggle with a fiesty bird. There are lots of quirky intros out there, and there's surely someone to bite!

 

Creating a little RP hook profile here on the forums could help with planning a meet up time for these kinds of rps too! Folks typically reply or shoot PMs! c: I'd love to hear more about your character!

[Thorbought]

Actions speak louder than words at times!  I personally have a hard time hitting up the smalltalk-bar rp scene, so I pushed myself in other ways for the quiet/reserved bunch I have. It can be a bit nerve-wracking to put yourself out there and especially be the one to start up RP, but I believe in you! ;u;

Things like ... looking for a lost item and hooking people with a need to help; or stumbling across lost item and asking others if it's theirs!  Minions are great too, like, finding a stray cat/dog and what do with it??? 

 

One I used to use as a hook outside the Quicksand was having my character help tend to the chocobo stalls and struggle with a fiesty bird. There are lots of quirky intros out there, and there's surely someone to bite!

 

Creating a little RP hook profile here on the forums could help with planning a meet up time for these kinds of rps too! Folks typically reply or shoot PMs! c: I'd love to hear more about your character!

Hey thanks for the kind words! I'm usually used to rather outgoing characters so I never had any trouble going up to people like 'Hey how's it going.' And I like the having an outside force thing be the thing to spark conversation. Only problem is that I rp mainly in my fc and with some people I see every day I can't really see myself using a missing cat that many times

[Griffith!]

As my current RP main, I play with a deck of cards and do card tricks IC to attract attention. It's had a fairly decent success rate.

 

But yeah, I'd echo the "make yourself stand out" advice.

[Thorbought]

As my current RP main, I play with a deck of cards and do card tricks IC to attract attention. It's had a fairly decent success rate.

 

But yeah, I'd echo the "make yourself stand out" advice.

Hah, what a coincidence! My character does do card tricks/magic tricks. Though I do still find it hard to emote that and have someone come talk to me.

[Maril]

Idle-emote all the time, as others have said. 

Another thing is to avoid placing your character in places that naturally do not inspire walk-ups, especially in bars. It's very easy to fall into this sort of pit when you enter a player made tavern; some are great and has designs with relatively no risks whilst others have some areas that see no natural flow of people beyond smaller groups (which is most likely what they were designed for). Nooks, crannies, and generally the further away from the bar you yet, the more complicated an excuse do people have to conjure up in order to make for an approach. Why would someone go to the farthest, darkest corner when there are seats at the bar still, etc. 

This is then made even worse by standing about in silence and dropping no hooks. If you're in doubt about how a tavern might have pitfalls, consider observing where people go when they enter the tavern, and how long it takes for someone to fan out towards the edges as the crowd builds up.  

 

Also, even though your character may be anti-social and grumpy, they still have to live - certain lifestyles, like that of an adventurer, hints more towards a person being very likely to obtain most of their meals and have their downtime in inns and taverns because if they have a home at all, it might be on the other side of Eorzea. Try to see if you can give them some motivation as to why they would reach out even though they don't like it; maybe wayfinding advice, to check if the food/ale is good before ordering, hearing local rumors to aid them or give them an advantage. Especially the last option is something you can ask literally anyone. Thinking this way has helped me get my own grumpy tall lizardman into more interactions - people are usually fine with him being grumpy, it's not what keeps them away in my experience. If anything, I find that some people may even go "challenge accepted" and figure out why the character is such a grump.

 

ETA: Another point is also that if you 100% rely on people coming -to- you, then you will always end up waiting a very long time for RP. Walk-ups are intimidating, yes, but what is the worst that can happen? If people flee you probably didn't want to be rping with them anyways.

[Aegir]

You need an outgoing wingman to help keep your character in the plot. Me and my roommate almost always RP together and we tend to trade off on how edgy our characters are. If I'm alone and being antisocial, I feel pretty awkward. But I can go for hours with a wingman, because I still feel like I'm a part of what's going on and I know he'll acknowledge me when I finally do speak up. If your wingman acknowledged your anti-social char, other peoples chars are inclined to do so too.

[Askier]

One thing I recommend , and do, is send a /tell asking ooc if someone would like to rp. In my experience it has a much higher success rate than just posting an ic emote in a crowded space and hoping it gets a reply. Almost everyone who has 'tell friendly' in their search info means it. . So once you have them engaged with you ic, your character can get their brood on lol

[Nebbs]

Just a thought, really get the anti-social aspect across. Do it enough and someone will take offense so the RP begins.

 

Like:

• Stare at people with a psychotic glint
  
• Wipe your nose on your sleeve
  
• Eat things with your mouth open, loudly and insist on pulling the food out of your mouth to look at before putting it back in
  
• Shout comments at people's conversations, it could even be nonsense
  
• Automatically assume anyone approaching you means you no good
  
• Body oder is a good line, so don't bathe or wash your clothing
  
• Act like you are cripple but then walk off perfectly fine when it's not working
  
• Always sit next to the good looking folks, they deserve you
  
• Always complain about the cost of things and try to get as much for free as you can
  
• Always pay for everything in 1 gil coins that you count out slowly
  

Don't be anti-social and likable .. no one wants that.

[Thorbought]

Just a thought, really get the anti-social aspect across. Do it enough and someone will take offense so the RP begins.

 

Like:

• Stare at people with a psychotic glint
  
• Wipe your nose on your sleeve
  
• Eat things with your mouth open, loudly and insist on pulling the food out of your mouth to look at before putting it back in
  
• Shout comments at people's conversations, it could even be nonsense
  
• Automatically assume anyone approaching you means you no good
  
• Body oder is a good line, so don't bathe or wash your clothing
  
• Act like you are cripple but then walk off perfectly fine when it's not working
  
• Always sit next to the good looking folks, they deserve you
  
• Always complain about the cost of things and try to get as much for free as you can
  
• Always pay for everything in 1 gil coins that you count out slowly
  

Don't be anti-social and likable .. no one wants that.

I do try and do that! I consider it a success in an rp meeting if someone oocly tells me they hate my char or are scared of them.

[Byahta]

My own character, Byahta is pretty text-book Asshole. She's well known for her different spiteful looks, for mysterious and creepy powers, and, to those who have gotten to know her well... that she's just kind of a bitch the whole way down. But, this hasn't stopped her from being surrounded by a circle of friends who 'accept' her.

 

The character itself needs motivation to be a part of a group, even if distant.

 

When I consider Byahta's actions I have a list of things she will and won't do. My priority in scenes with meeting new people is to have an in-character reason for my asshole character to be putting themselves forward. Byahta is hunting for mercenaries for the dangerous contracts she is always running. This means that despite her brooding and spiteful nature she will physically put herself into conversation with other characters.

 

 

 

The character needs to be willing to work with others to achieve their goals.

 

 

DnD 5E has a great point on playing brooding-assholes/Evil characters. The central conceit of 5E is that our characters WILL work together to achieve their goals. Even the biggest asshole in DnD 5E must be willing to see the benefit of working with cohorts. Its too easy to the catch-all of seeing everyone as incompetent, or, playing the EDGELORD WHO WILL HURT HIS FRIENDS.

 

Playing an anti-social character without any sort of friends to help you is a bad idea. OOC conversation with those you meet can greatly help clarify this.

 

 

One of the best ways to survive the trouble of being an anti social character is to OOC talk to some people. Maybe the people you've approached are having trouble with your character. A fight might be brewing. Try talking to them OOC to clarify what your trying to do, and, any help that might make the scene turn right. They may not want their snowflake healer who is half miqote half auri and half genie to be dealing with you... But they might know someone who is more patient and willing to become your friend!

[Chidori]

I have had quite a few folks tell me my elezen is difficult because she is very stoic. Really the majority of RP I do with her is business. Socially, her husband is usually around and he is slightly more outgoing than her.

 

So consider a wingman/gal. Also could perhaps try seeing you could set up or have some pre-established connections.

[Renault Delumiere]

Maybe an unpopular opinion...

 

But just like in real life, if you want to make friends, you are going to have to be at least a little bit social.

[Zhavi]

Should I ask them oocly to come talk to me? I don't want to do that each time >.<

 

One way to avoid having to do that each time is to oocly scope out sociable characters. Focus on a few. Five, max. Once you've arranged for rp with those, there is a high chance that opportunities will arise for your character to interact with their acquaintances.

 

Too, as others have said, focus on action -- not dialogue. I've started various rps with spilled drinks, spilled food, spilled ink, dead bodies, victim (or perpetrator) of pickpockets, delivery mishaps with orders, etc.

 

Have a run in with some thugs in an alley. Fail at saving an npc from committing suicide. Find a mysterious package. Stumble over some kids bullying another kid. Thrust your character in the path of moral quandaries. Interact with the vast and vastly populated world around you, and drag others into its various little stories with you. They can all be simple one-offs -- the point is giving yourself and others something to work with that overcomes your character's social issues.

[Arashin Kujqai]

As someone who's first persona ever was something similar to this, I feel like I can relate.

 

Originally I had a "dragoon" that was moody/troubled, not often friendly because of it until given friendliness of course. Originally I just let people walk up to me while he did things, like putting his helmet to the side when sitting somewhere or adjusting his armor in some fashion. Otherwise I used the environment around me like others have mentioned.

 

In the end, I realized I wasn't actually enjoying being a moody ass >~>; so I ended up going in a different direction entirely and made a more ambitious treasure hunter type character. Was pretty fun but then recently I transferred to Balmung and I wanted something a bit more stoic and intelligent, something that didn't come across as a numbskull getting into trouble but I also didn't want to look like an ass that just hates everyone and socializing.

 

So I ended up attempting to make a sexy librarian stereotype. The type that's always interested in books but is usually very quiet and to himself, until you open up to him do you realize how "down to earth" he is. The only adjustment this time is rather than being moody and etc, I've just been keeping him busy and per-occupied reading/studying until someone says something. Overall my char is pretty nice to people but doesn't actually open up until a topic of interest peaks, but otherwise he'll be watching people, jotting down something in his journal, adjusting his glasses, turning pages in a tome, etc.

 

My personal trick is, I don't actively socialize with people, so I just sit at the desk with an open tome at the thaumaturge guild until someone shows up and interacts outside, trying to get a book off the shelf or just asking me for help around the guild. You "CAN" set up RP meets but I know the trouble of having to schedule RP every time and wishing people would walkup. Could include finer details in your search comment too like "Walkups Welcome/Brooding Char" or etc. Otherwise, I just walk around town and do what my char does, exploring, studying, getting a drink/meal every so often, and randomly people will get interested to talk to me or bump into me somehow

 

Overall as a stoic and more "lone wolf" esque character(not that my current one is all too much), it's more about taking use of the elements around you. Be creative about it all, using your race to your advantage or items nearby. Like if you're a miqo'te or elezen, have your ears flicker a bit when you hear a phrase and eye someone from across the room.

[Thorbought]

As someone who's first persona ever was something similar to this, I feel like I can relate.

 

Originally I had a "dragoon" that was moody/troubled, not often friendly because of it until given friendliness of course. Originally I just let people walk up to me while he did things, like putting his helmet to the side when sitting somewhere or adjusting his armor in some fashion. Otherwise I used the environment around me like others have mentioned.

 

In the end, I realized I wasn't actually enjoying being a moody ass >~>; so I ended up going in a different direction entirely and made a more ambitious treasure hunter type character. Was pretty fun but then recently I transferred to Balmung and I wanted something a bit more stoic and intelligent, something that didn't come across as a numbskull getting into trouble but I also didn't want to look like an ass that just hates everyone and socializing.

 

So I ended up attempting to make a sexy librarian stereotype. The type that's always interested in books but is usually very quiet and to himself, until you open up to him do you realize how "down to earth" he is. The only adjustment this time is rather than being moody and etc, I've just been keeping him busy and per-occupied reading/studying until someone says something. Overall my char is pretty nice to people but doesn't actually open up until a topic of interest peaks, but otherwise he'll be watching people, jotting down something in his journal, adjusting his glasses, turning pages in a tome, etc.

 

My personal trick is, I don't actively socialize with people, so I just sit at the desk with an open tome at the thaumaturge guild until someone shows up and interacts outside, trying to get a book off the shelf or just asking me for help around the guild. You "CAN" set up RP meets but I know the trouble of having to schedule RP every time and wishing people would walkup. Could include finer details in your search comment too like "Walkups Welcome/Brooding Char" or etc. Otherwise, I just walk around town and do what my char does, exploring, studying, getting a drink/meal every so often, and randomly people will get interested to talk to me or bump into me somehow

 

Overall as a stoic and more "lone wolf" esque character(not that my current one is all too much), it's more about taking use of the elements around you. Be creative about it all, using your race to your advantage or items nearby. Like if you're a miqo'te or elezen, have your ears flicker a bit when you hear a phrase and eye someone from across the room.

Yeah, I agree that using the elements around me and using actions would be the best to open up more RP with people. For the record I do enjoy the 'jerk' character I have. She's not quiet so much as she's a very irritated person. She comes across as very blunt and doesn't have a filter at all. I have fun RPing her when things get going or if its for some plot thing but there's always this awkward part in casual/social RP where I find it hard to approach people while still maintaining her personality.

[Arashin Kujqai]

Yeah, I agree that using the elements around me and using actions would be the best to open up more RP with people. For the record I do enjoy the 'jerk' character I have. She's not quiet so much as she's a very irritated person. She comes across as very blunt and doesn't have a filter at all. I have fun RPing her when things get going or if its for some plot thing but there's always this awkward part in casual/social RP where I find it hard to approach people while still maintaining her personality.

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you might not, I just personally struggled was all >.>;...

 

I see what you mean though, I do recall an instance where I attended an event and someone was very obnoxious/rude bumping into me while also requesting me to buy them a drink all in one process... It sounds like your character could greatly benefit from just being brash overall in any actions. Walking/bumping into people on purpose while in deep thought, or interrupting someone's conversation because you find something in particular distasteful in it. Walkups are tricky but I've often found in going about my business, I find the best roleplay without actually trying to look for it.

 

Bumping into someone while reading or writing something in my journal, even just being a poser near a light fixture while /em'ing to myself writing/reading attracts people. I often do that when I see someone's within vicinity to view it that has the tag up. I could picture your character going about a similar concept of just brooding aloud or grumbling , maybe staring at someone walk by and describing their character a bit in a harsher way. Suddenly noticing a delightful looking well dressed lalafell dancer is instead through your character's eyes and /em's a "pint-sized tramp with a stupid grin" or something to that effect. That would warrant attention at least, in the end you just have to be creative with your writing and not give up if someone just skips by you.

[Arrelaine]

Marcie is an anti-social, racist jerkwad. So what did I do? I made a bs reason to join an FC on him and make him have a reason to do things with them! His reason for having to be social is because he's on orders as a Temple Knight to go out into the Eorzean lands and further strengthen the Alliance by helping out and being 'friendly'. Most of Marcie's racism doesn't often show up, simply because he A) doesn't want to get murdered/fired and B) often doesn't care enough to give his two gil on anything.

 

I think random encounters might be a little more tough to come up with on him, but for the most part, think of something your character -must- do that requires someone else. Maybe they're looking for someone, a non-existent NPC, that requires asking around the tavern for them. Maybe they got kicked out of their parents' and have to find a job!

[Nero]

There was a similar thread on this subject a few years ago that might help here.

 

That said, the best and most foolproof way is to engage OOCly for connections and to come up with premises that force your character to interact with others.

 

For example, someone accuses your character of a crime, which forces your character to respond to the information and engage. Or, your character needs a particular thing and the other person's character is the only one who has it.

 

Regular walk-ups and RP interactions can work but generally don't pan out for characters who are withdrawn or reserved unless there are other characters present who are willing and able to force your character to interact. Once you have a few connections going then you can gradually start to rely on being approached rather than doing the approaching, but otherwise the solutions are either A). figure out a way for your character to seek information or initiate, B). form OOC connections and arrange for RP in such a way that is conducive to both characters, or C). find or create a plot or storyline that will place external pressure on your character to interact.

[Thorbought]

Yeah I like the idea of thinking of OOC reasons to meet (being accused of crime, bumping into someone, etc). The problem is that I get on almost everyday to RP with my FC and I feel like I can't keep coming up with reasons like that. Though I agree that, that would be the best way to approach RP with walk-ups in Ul'dah. She does have a higher position in her company so perhaps I can have her be forced to try and be 'friendly' or 'sociable' to help recruit or put on a good face for her company's sake.