How to not let Bleed through happen?

[Kage]

So I don't see my emotional feelings on the matter changing. What I feel is unfair to the people I rp with so I believe this is the best course of action.

 

Until I find a solution (of which I don't believe there is one), I will be quitting the game and RPing.

 

My deepest apologies to the people who I RP'd with and who I may have unfinished RP with.

 

Have a good day.

[Kahnopy]

First and foremost, take good care of yourself.

And secondly, yes, there is a solution. Just give yourself time to enjoy simple things, and let it come to you slowly.

[Titor]

On what matter, what happened? 

If it is something on the RP community I am sure we could come together to improve if something upset you...

[Erik Mynhier]

This hurts my heart, seriously. I'm going to miss you Kage. Hit me up irl, I'm easy to find on fb. I'll miss you man, and since I may never get to sing it to you again.... this one's for you. Forgive this one and only posting of bad language Freelance, but this one's for Kage.

 

[video=youtube]

[g0ne]

Nooo... :cry:

 

Kage, we're all going to miss you so, so much.  

 

It's really sad that you have to leave, but at the same time, I wish you the very best, and I hope you find whatever you seek. Take good care of yourself, and stay happy.

[Roswyn]

Take care Kage. <3

[Clover]

I didn't really know you, but... whatever happened, I hope you'll feel better soon. Best of lucks from now on! Eorzea will be here for the day you decide to come back.

[ArmachiA]

You were in our guild for a few months and were one of the more popular members when you were there. We appreciated having your enthusiasm, optimism, and honesty around, everyone really missed you when you left. I hope whatever is going on, you find some peace of mind.

[FreelanceWizard]

Sorry to hear that you're leaving. I never got to RP with you, but everyone I know who had spoke well of you.

 

The door's always open when you feel you can come back.

[Melodia]

One of my first friends in the server and while we had our tough times I always considered you my friend even to this day.

 

I'm sad to see you go and hope that everything works out for the best and that you might come back someday. *hugs*

[Aldotsk]

Sorry to hear that you are leaving Kage, despite that I teased you multiple times in-game - you were one of the most friendly people and best contributor I've seen in RPC. When you first came in, you were completely new to everything - and at the end, you were the most contributing person and welcoming new members and helping them out.

 

I am aware that there were lot of dramas that has happened and also your issues with end-games and RP etc - but I hope that will be resolved someday (don't know when), but you are always welcomed here as a friend among all of us. 

 

I'll frequently ask Nat to see how you are doing, (that is if she's staying). Best wishes to you though!

[xelliexell]

I only got to interact with you once, and that was in a spiritbonding party... But it was a fun spiritbonding party.

 

Sorry to see you go, although I wish you the best in wherever your travels take you.

[Kage]

Thanks everyone.

 

I've taken a sick day today.

 

 

And 1 hr after i decided to take a rest from wallowing in my bed I realized that I'm definitely addicted to the game. Even though I deleted the boot from desktop I just put it back.. patched and then played.

 

I'm trying to let life go on and try to deal with my own OOC emotions bleeding through to how I feel about certain things ICly. It's been really hard and unfair to the people I RP with and those who RP with them.

 

I'm definitely not the most stable of people emotionally. @_@;

[Tiergan]

What if you just took a month RP hiatus? Just mess about the game, play other games, derp about - and come up with some zany reason why Kage was MIA for a while.

[Kage]

I'm definitely going to try.

 

I've been on a big cycle of yay-grumble-cry for awhile about RP mainly and then end-game just exacerbated it. I just don't know to fix the cycle

[Caedmon Scythean]

Kage you are an amazing person and you should feel good about that.  If you ever need any help in game drop me a tell or moogle mail.  If you ever need help out of game you can get my contact infos from the NB website.

[Kage]

Thanks everyone.

 

I think I've found as good a helpful solution as I can go and hopefully it does help or at least... helps me deal with my emotions.

 

Outside of getting a better and new PCP to get a good therapist.

[Aldotsk]

As you can see, I've had some frustrations and burn out and addiction to this game during the 2.2-2.3 period. I had IRL issues and a lot of depressions - and had to go off on hiatus from FF14 for a month or two. 

 

It's never too bad to take a break for yourself. the game can always wait and players will be there too. Should your friends are not there anymore, there are newer friends. Otherwise, you can always remind them that you are back and you want to play again.

[ArmachiA]

Learning how to separate ooc and ic emotions is something that a lot of new roleplayers struggle with, don't feel too bad about it. Take some time off, get your head straight, see if you really liked RP and maybe get advise from some veterans on how to keep those two separate. It's never hurts to ask people.

[Kage]

See I guess that's something that I have a hard time with.

 

A) I'm pretty sure I'm addicted. I take a small break and I get that itch to go back. My self-control is abysmal that I just come back. This is in regards to both the game, the RP, and RPC. >.> I spend quite a bit of time at work here. >.<;

B) I want to be able to deal with it without so many breaks. It's like some stupid cycle I go through where it seems fine and then eventually I have a dramatic thing where I have to go and be stupidly upset at myself. Life isn't fair but... I feel like irl I am comfortable with where my relationships are. I'm pretty happy. But throw in some RP and I start to drive myself and those who RP with me/people who RP with who I Rp with... and it's... gah. :c

[Dravus]

My advice would be to take a break rather than publicly claim that you're going to quit. I don't mean to be 'that guy' but since you're still posting on the site I'm going to go ahead and assume that you're still very heavily invested in both the game and community.

 

Furthermore, with all due respect, role-play isn't that big a deal. If it's causing you genuine stress and upset or you're simply relying too heavily upon it to make yourself feel better then it's important to take a step back and put yourself first. It's a hobby best indulged in with moderation rather than excess.

[Kage]

See, I've taken breaks and they always become MAYBE a one day break because I -am- heavily invested in both the game and the RP. It just doesn't -help- me at all.

 

And it's like if I'm in the game, I'll see the RP.

 

A) My irl friends and roomie etc are in it.

 

B) Well, it's Balmung it's freaking hard not to see it when I have a house that RP happens in and that I love Ul'dah.

 

Most of the time I spend away from the game is work, sleep, and when I go out with friends.

 

Edit: And with all due respect, if it was as easy as just not letting my IRL feels affect my IC feels so that it affects me OOCly, I'd choose not to be a lesbian and not deal with a bunch of emotional shit. I don't see it as "easy".

[ArmachiA]

RP can get to people. It can get to a lot of people. You become VERY attached to your character, especially if they have a lot of you in them (Which new RPers tend to do as a jumping off point). I've been RPing for 15 years, I cry when something sad happens or get happy when something good happens - you get attached. That's okay.

 

However, there are some kinds of RP some people can never do because they step over the line of OOC attachment. It's always helpful to figure out exactly what kind of RP sets you off. For instance (Not saying you do any of these, of course, these are just examples:)

~ Overly Dramatic Plots. Could be too sad or too upsetting, generally.

~ Romance RP: the EASIEST to get too attached too. I actually recommend new RPers don't romance RP until they get the basics down.

~ Triggering Storylines (Murder, Rape, Torture, etc): This one is pretty obvious.

 

I RPed with someone my first six months in the game who RPed with us for everything except when the plot turned "dark" (She decided when that was) and would come back when it was resolved. She told us she just really couldn't handle the darker plotlines in RP and we respected that. She's quit the game now, but we never had an issue with her. I also know plenty of people in my guild who are a solid, firm no on Romance RP.

 

RP is supposed to be fun, if something is triggering negative emotions, you are allowed to say "I can't really be involved with that, sorry" and take a step back till the story is concluded. If people try to push you into it any way or try to convince you it will be fine - they are being completely jerky about it and you don't have to rp with them.

 

All of this is kind of me babbling. There are steps you can take, but you feel like your in too deep now so taking a bit of a break is probably for the best. If you feel like your addicted to the game, that's a whole other issue that can really only be resolved by not playing or - if you can do it - playing only 1 or 2 hours a day. Taking a step back and figuring out what was and wasn't fun then staying on the "This is fun" side is very important. And if nothing hits the "This is fun" side then stop doing it all together

 

Edit: From the above statement it sounds like you think RP is fun? Or you think your obligated to do it because you're a popular character/your friends do it?

[Kage]

No I definitely -love- RP! ;3

 

Thanks for the advice Armi, it's really appreciated.

 

It's more like when I tried to self-impose a ban on it that I utterly failed at one. Because the other was almost constantly right there and it's hard to not be tempted.

[ArmachiA]

"How not to let bleed through happen." Is a pretty valid conversation to have, really, and one I think needs to happen more often than it actually does in RP communities. Even when we teach people just jumping in, we tend to gloss over the IC/OOC relationship and the line we all tread.

 

I think it's a great thing you admitted to doing it and want to take steps to prevent it from messing with you or from happening again. I know you're well liked in the community and would hate to see the Ul'dah group lose you.