[Split] Gender Behind the Writing

[Faye]

Moderator Edit:

 

 

The post below, originally sourced from another thread, has been edited. None of the contents belong to Faye but has been adjusted to reflect the topic in a more general light.

 

Does real life gender affect your preferential RP in any way, under certain circumstances?

[Kage]

You can just avoid stating what gender the player is behind the character.

 

I think some people still think I'm a guy after RPING as tiny Lala Kage for a while.

[Melodia]

I play both male and female characters and have encountered this and like Faye and Natalie have stated, it's a bit confusing. Who cares who's on the other end, as long you can engage in fun roleplay with a solid story or even an unsolid one if that's your bag.

 

I will say, I think that by stating you want a specific gener IRL you've soured your audience here. Not trying to be mean, just saying the facts as I know these folks. The story trumps the gender. And if that is a problem....you will likely have a problem getting what you want.

[Faye]

I mean this as respectfully, and as friendly as I can, but are you all missing the "PREFERABLY" part ???

 

I don't think anyone is trying to attack you, I just want to offer a bit of insight and advice. You said yourself you're new to RP. I just think you should take a step back and try to evaluate what RP is to you, and why you want to do it. Because what you're insinuating now to most of us doesn't sound entirely like RP, at least not like good RP etiquette, so it's a little off-putting and may make it difficult for you to find others to RP with since it seems you'd both want different things out of the RP.

[111]

I mean this as respectfully, and as friendly as I can, but are you all missing the "PREFERABLY" part ???

 

It's still weird and creepy. Would you post 'Requesting White Person for RP'

 

"Guys, if you're playing a light skinned character, I just feel it's more immersive if you are white too."

 

Faye said it better, and if you're doing this from ignorance, that's fine, no one will hold it against you long term. But you should rethink some of those positions, they might just be the result of a bad RP or two, and not indicative of the community at large.

[Aoi Fukiku]

I suppose it is sort of like me which is why I didn't question it. I don't care if it is a Male or female behind the character and I have no problem with same sex couples but I myself will not rp it. I just feel awkward trying. He my be the same and just not feel comfortable.

[Faye]

I mean this as respectfully, and as friendly as I can, but are you all missing the "PREFERABLY" part ???

 

It's still weird and creepy. Would you post 'Requesting White Person for RP'

 

"Guys, if you're playing a light skinned character, I just feel it's more immersive if you are white too."

 

^ Pretty much how it comes across to me, especially with the added "I can't relate to cats and Miqo'te are totally nothing but cats so I race-changed..." A great part of RP is exploring topics you don't fully understand or don't get to experience first-hand IRL. "Write what you know" is a common phrase. Sure, you should have a basic understanding of your character, and be able to relate to him/her. But it's not rocket science to have a basic understanding of how different genders/races/whatever typically act. Furthermore, your character shouldn't be totally defined by their gender, race, or some other demographic. They can and should still have plenty of others traits you can fully relate to.

[111]

PREFERABLLY

 

Definition: Ideally, if possible.

 

Not that is has to be, its just PREFERED...

 

Several people have explained this very politely, but you just don't seem to want to listen.

 

We're not trying to be mean, we're trying to help. But as you say, you're free to prefer/do what you want. However you might not like how others react to those preferences/actions.

[Zoetrooper]

I'm getting weird flashbacks here! I've seen a situation similar to this explode in linkshells. Let's not allow this to explode, hmm? If the gender of the person behind the character is currently important to OP then so be it.

 

I'm female playing a male in game, does that mean people might not want to RP with me based on that? Probably, but I hope not!

 

Good RPers to fit your needs come from every gender. Try not to single them out!

[Faye]

I mean this as respectfully, and as friendly as I can, but are you all missing the "PREFERABLY" part ???

 

It's still weird and creepy. Would you post 'Requesting White Person for RP'

 

"Guys, if you're playing a light skinned character, I just feel it's more immersive if you are white too."

 

 

^ Pretty much how it comes across to me, especially with the added "I can't relate to cats and Miqo'te are totally nothing but cats so I race-changed..." A great part of RP is exploring topics you don't fully understand or don't get to experience first-hand IRL. "Write what you know" is a common phrase. Sure, you should have a basic understanding of your character, and be able to relate to him/her. But it's not rocket science to have a basic understanding of how different genders/races/whatever typically act. Furthermore, your character shouldn't be totally defined by their gender, race, or some other demographic. They can and should still have plenty of others traits you can fully relate to.

 

We have tried to explain what's strange about it, you just keep shouting, "PREFERABLY!!!!" and aren't reading what we're saying. And no, asking for "Preferably a bard" isn't weird, assuming you mean a bard IC, as I don't think any of us are bards OOC, just as asking for a female IC isn't weird. Asking for a female OOC kind of is. I'm not telling you that you need to change your opinion. RP however you want to RP. If you can't stand the thought of RPing with another dude, that's kinda weird bro, but you do you. I'm just trying to point out how it comes across as odd and is only narrowing your audience here...

[Melkire]

[moderator hardhat]

 

Thread has been split off to facilitate discussion. Keep it civil. No personal attacks.

 

[/moderator hardhat]

[Kage]

I would like to remind everyone abut the old Valentines event... that is being advertised again. The love love maid cafe? On the sargatanas server iirc.

 

Last year a majority of us found it odd... creepy... not exactly the RP we are looking for or interested in. Mentioned the servers/hosts real genders etc.

 

Yet it was extremely successful from what I saw online. It is simply something those of us here do not see as "kosher" but for some that is what they would prefer.

 

My point is cautioning people who do want RP like this. You won't find many interested in it here.

[111]

I think the end result is that RP is a community effort, and no one likes to feel excluded.

 

It would feel pretty shitty to get cut out of an RP because of what you are IRL.

 

It is not a big deal if it is just one person, but if that viewpoint ever took hold in the community at large it would be pretty unfortunate.

[Warren Castille]

I don't think the request is that bizarre. Perhaps a little unintentionally insensitive or creepy, but definitely not malicious or even incorrect or anything.

 

I also wouldn't attribute it to homophobia or anything like that. Sometimes when writing romance it does help to have a little bit of a disconnect. RP exists in a strange online place; While I've roleplayed basically every sort of relationship a man can have, I still wouldn't try to romance many of my real-life friends. There's a "no homo" joke here somewhere, but I've always felt that romantic RP needs a spark of genuine passion or something to make it flare, even if knowing the person on the other side of the screen doesn't match you romantically or sexually, even if you're not looking for romance or sexy times, well, I find that reasonable.

[Kage]

I think a few of us have asked this before but...

 

If it's not romantic RP, why does it matter?

 

In fact, why does it matter if almost all of your interaction is just IC? What does the gender behind the screen matter over what the character on-screen does? If the roleplay and story is well-written, does it truly matter?

 

I mean unless it's going into cybering etc I don't see why there is ever a need to know who the player behind a character is.

[Zhavi]

Hmm, after reading this thread . . . you know, I play both male and female characters. Most of the people I rp with play both male and female characters. It doesn't matter to me.

 

That said, coming at someone and telling them or insinuating that they're weird, and creepy, and wrong for preferring one thing or another is doing the exact same thing to them that you feel they're doing to you. You'd likely get much better results pming the person and asking why they feel that way, did they have a bad experience, and just seeing why they feel that way (as Melkire said -- could just be he feels that female writers write better female characters and vice versa) as opposed to making them feel unwelcome and harangued.

 

Like, this isn't even really a discussion about which is better done from an objective perspective -- it reads like people reacting defensively to a statement he made and then him trying to defend himself and back out of the argument. Not really great grounds for an open and productive discussion, imo.

[Warren Castille]

I think a few of us have asked this before but...

 

If it's not romantic RP, why does it matter?

 

In fact, why does it matter if almost all of your interaction is just IC? What does the gender behind the screen matter over what the character on-screen does? If the roleplay and story is well-written, does it truly matter?

 

I mean unless it's going into cybering etc I don't see why there is ever a need to know who the player behind a character is.

 

You're not wrong.

 

But neither is he.

[K'nahli]

We have tried to explain what's strange about it, you just keep shouting, "PREFERABLY!!!!" and aren't reading what we're saying. And no, asking for "Preferably a bard" isn't weird, assuming you mean a bard IC, as I don't think any of us are bards OOC, just as asking for a female IC isn't weird. Asking for a female OOC kind of is. I'm not telling you that you need to change your opinion. RP however you want to RP. If you can't stand the thought of RPing with another dude, that's kinda weird bro, but you do you. I'm just trying to point out how it comes across as odd and is only narrowing your audience here...

 

Regardless of my own personal thoughts on the matter, and with respect, terms like "weird" will likely only come across as antagonistic even if you do reinforce his freedom to do so with "you can do as you like" - especially since the OP isn't getting much support with his side of the opinion.

 

It's possible that he's not much interested in discussing his opinion so much as defending it but I'm not sure if there is much else anyone can say to help emphasise that they only meant to help and advise. I think it's better you not stress yourself over the debate anymore, haha ^^  At least in the original OP's case.

[Gegenji]

 

(I HAD TO DO IT)

 

In all seriousness, though, I can kinda see where the original poster is coming from on this? As it's been mentioned, and hinted through some of the other comments about possible romance (and ERP), he may want to pursue closer relations between the two characters. And the fact that the person playing that cute Seeker Miqo'te he's having his character make out with is actually a dude might make him feel uncomfortable. Even if that's not the case and he just thinks girls RP girls better and boys RP boys better, both views are still understandable.

 

But, as has also been mentioned, it's still between the characters. Unless you're seeking to also try to develop an OOC relationship as well, it... really doesn't matter, does it? It's a fictional character interacting with another fictional character - and in that fictional setting, it's a guy and a girl dating or making out or what have you regardless of the puppetmasters controlling the strings. Perhaps if you're worried about the answer of the question, maybe just don't ask? It seems like a cop-out, but it might be better to just assume the character's controller has the proper bits rather than risk... misunderstanding and the fallout from said misunderstanding.

 

I dunno. This whole topic strikes me as kinda being too easy to swerve into the skeevy.

 

(I just really, really wanted to use that image.) :blush:

[TheLastCandle]

For me, personally, if I don't like/don't fit a person's request for RP I simply, you know, choose not to roleplay with them. I do it quietly, without publicly making assumptions about the person making the request. They may have perfectly valid reasons based on past experiences. Why start a bunch of drama over what amounts to a personal choice? If someone states they prefer to play with a female, then people fitting that description will either be interested and contact that individual, or.. they won't. Seems pretty cut and dry to me, anyway.

[Kage]

I think a few of us have asked this before but...

 

If it's not romantic RP, why does it matter?

 

In fact, why does it matter if almost all of your interaction is just IC? What does the gender behind the screen matter over what the character on-screen does? If the roleplay and story is well-written, does it truly matter?

 

I mean unless it's going into cybering etc I don't see why there is ever a need to know who the player behind a character is.

 

You're not wrong.

 

But neither is he.

Did I say he was? In fact most of my statements are very generic now. I don't even care what the [initial] OP was about because I'm not here to discuss it. I am only repeating what a few general opinions have been stated in threads that have come from similar situations.

 

The Love Love Maid Café advertisement thread last year was pretty much ripped to pieces in the RPC forums, from the RPers here, as many found it to be not to their tastes and most likely not to what they want in RP. In fact, I'm of the opinion that most people did not post in the thread because of A) Sargatanas and B) memories of the thread from last year.

 

Am I surprised whenever I meet a female player behind a male character? Well, sure just because I love it whenever I get to meet a fellow female player. Am I surprised about male players behind female characters? Honestly, not completely. Do I care? Not an ounce unless they start moving into asking me about IRL things about me and not my character. I don't give one flying fuck if it's a middle aged 30 year old man or a 30 year old woman. My character is RPing the scene with another character.

[Kamome]

There are a lot of assumptions and unfounded accusations happening about the OP-OP in this discussion. He explicitly stated that he wasn't looking for OOC feelings to bleed through and that he has a wife. All we can do is take someone on their word, and we can choose not to participate in something if it raises red flags in our head. Acting abrasively, without evidence, especially colored by our past experiences, is just going to create endless, irrational conflict. 

 

That said, I'm with Faye on this one in that it makes me uncomfortable to seeing ERP OK and OOC female-preferred in the same solicitation. I don't know where this conversation can go, though, considering different things make different people uncomfortable. Something making you, personally, uncomfortable doesn't make it okay to lash out at someone, either.

 

Personally, I am a woman and I like playing male characters, as well as female. It's wonderful to be able to write and play a compelling character of either gender because gender-blind casting isn't realy mainstream in popular entertainment.

[Zhavi]

 

I dunno. This whole topic strikes me as kinda being too easy to swerve into the skeevy.

 

It boggles me that people feel comfortable making all sorts of assumptions about him, and are creeped out by him, and yet feel utterly no desire to understand why he stated what he stated.

 

If it was reverse, and someone had posted 'prefer the person playing the woman to be a man' I highly doubt people would have reacted so strongly. I understand that sometimes you get burned when a rp partner finds out you're playing cross-gender and disappears, but this is not the same person as those who may have done you a bad turn in the past. (unless you have had a bad experience with him, in which case, excuse me)

 

This thread bothers me, because it is skating ever so close to the edge of double standards.

[OttoVann]

I romanced with males behind the screen and women, and it was all IC so who cared about their gender. In fact now that I think on it all the women who were behind the screen for my romance RP were married, like me. Im not sure why they are to be preferred a woman. They arent going to be your girlfriend through rp.

 

However, I guess I can sort of understand not wanting to erp with a guy on his catgirl. Im as hetero as it comes, but I also dont mix ic and ooc so...

[Warren Castille]

I think a few of us have asked this before but...

 

If it's not romantic RP, why does it matter?

 

In fact, why does it matter if almost all of your interaction is just IC? What does the gender behind the screen matter over what the character on-screen does? If the roleplay and story is well-written, does it truly matter?

 

I mean unless it's going into cybering etc I don't see why there is ever a need to know who the player behind a character is.

 

You're not wrong.

 

But neither is he.

Did I say he was? In fact most of my statements are very generic now. I don't even care what the [initial] OP was about because I'm not here to discuss it. I am only repeating what a few general opinions have been stated in threads that have come from similar situations.

 

The Love Love Maid Café advertisement thread last year was pretty much ripped to pieces in the RPC forums, from the RPers here, as many found it to be not to their tastes and most likely not to what they want in RP. In fact, I'm of the opinion that most people did not post in the thread because of A) Sargatanas and B) memories of the thread from last year.

 

Am I surprised whenever I meet a female player behind a male character? Well, sure just because I love it whenever I get to meet a fellow female player. Am I surprised about male players behind female characters? Honestly, not completely. Do I care? Not an ounce unless they start moving into asking me about IRL things about me and not my character. I don't give one flying fuck if it's a middle aged 30 year old man or a 30 year old woman. My character is RPing the scene with another character.

 

Maybe it's just me projecting, then, but the inferred tone in this thread seems to be aggressive towards an opposing viewpoint. Fuck, my post said you aren't wrong, which you seem to be okay with, but then you reiterate the whole debate over the other half of my point being that he's not wrong either. I'm not accusing anyone of anything.

 

The "general opinions" in this thread are borderline hostile. Repeating them, moreso.