Kellach Woods

Minfillia is HHH y'all

We all have a lack of butt. Kell included.

Keep in mind the MSQ is nowhere near done for this patch cycle - it continues in 2.5.2 and then in 2.5.3 Cliffhanger was weak, tho.

SCREENSHOT FORM VENT.

I may as well offer Kell at this auction. The results will, hopefully, be hilarious. Character Name: Kellach Woods Tell a few things about yourself that might interest bidders: Kell is a refreshingly honest Hyur of an unknown island who bares it all. In all senses of the term, as you may yet see. Do you seek a man who would brave the harsh winter of Coerthas in naught but a loincloth and harness just for a newfound friend? Do you wish to know if his skin of chocolate tastes just as sweet? If you've answered yes to these questions, then you know what to do : Bid on the mid (lander)! What sort of date are you looking for?: Anything, really. From shooting the breeze at the Quicksand, to a walk in the Shroud, to lounging on the beaches of Mist. No Coerthas, though. Please. Or at least give him ample warning so he can actually prepare himself. Is there anything you absolutely will not do?: I will not dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. Who do you want bidding on you? (male, female, both, etc): Any and all comers.

Things that irk me with Moenbryda's death. - She was legitimately the only Scion that actually did anything. - She had a background. - She was fridged for Urianger to show emotion. - The other Scions have the depth of cardboard. Like, I didn't play 1.0 - I don't know if any of the other scions are actually characters, but all of them are annoying at best and outright Ul'dah-levels infuriating. Yda is outright the most stupid character in this game, INCLUDING HILDIBRAND.

I don't think there's anything currently in the game that I'm thinking I need for another class... Wait, no, I've got it, but it's not related to class, so I don't think they'd consider it. > Remove gender restriction on starter gear. > Make all Hempen Undershirts/Camise/Underpants/Pantalettes applicable to all races/clans

No, Minfillia couldn't do anything because then how would we know how fucking useless she is? Also, Steel, I actually did that, IC. I'm never doing that again. Hypothermia ahoy.

SE not giving a fuck about their most interesting characters? Yo that's a truism that harkens back from at least FF7.

Okay, so. New patch, people run new dungeons and don't know the mechanics - That's fine, whatever, so long as we're all on the same page I can eat a repair bill or two or a thousand. However, sometimes, you just wanna bill expanses to arguably the most infuriating healer alive. First off, he complains that everyone is new to the instance. In Day 2. Second, he complains that I'm not doing big enough pulls. In a blind run. Third, when I oblige him, he's too busy doing over 9000 Holy to actually, y'know, HEAL ME when we have a BLM so he's not the only source of AoE. Oh, and he's Holying out of Cleric Stance when you can turn that shit off off GCD. Fourth, we get to the first fight "uh I forget his mechanics" Fifth, we get to the second fight "uh I forget his mechanics guess they're not important" (Also, shoutouts to the BLM and NIN who walked through the correct totem twice without realizing they got a damage up, even after I called it out in chat, and then proceeded to ignore EVERY. SINGLE. DAMAGE. BUFF.) Sixth, we get to the last boss, SOMEHOW, and our healer smoking some of that dank somnus FINALLY REMEMBERS A MECHANIC. "Oh, he's got a doom mechanic." Yes, and? We have like, 3 different Doom mechanics in the game prior to this patch. "you have to tank him out of standards" ok, but idols give him a tethered buff, what are you going to do about it. Nothing? Oh, how fucking swell. We did not deserve that WPHM kill, and the best part? I GOT ALL OF JACK AND SHIT FOR THIS DUNGEON! EVEN THOUGH I NEVER ROLLED ANYTHING UNDER 70. * * * Fortunately I then helped out with a Stone Vigil story, which I'm kind of grateful that people didn't complain about my WHMing since I don't do that nearly enough.

I wouldn't worry about it. I'd wager it's a mixture of the login server getting hammered at all times of day from Balmungites wanting to get in, the priorities for that queue being something like this : > Existing Character > Transfer From Other Server > New Character In addition to Server Wonkiness that can disconnect people, adding to the Login queue. Permalogins may affect login server in a way we haven't anticipated. If there's one thing I've learned at my job is that you never know what could end up interacting with one another when it comes to computers.

If you mean the screenshot as my avatar, that's outdated as all hell

As soon as Moenbryda went down, I was like "gurl's a goner." So, crying was kept to a minimum. They killed her too fast in my opinion.

Kellach had received the very first part of his brother's journal throughout their people's history and culture, and he laughed out loud. How much of a coincidence was it that he'd stumbled onto the exact look that one of his childhood heroes wore? The story of Kechir Hunter was quite the tale, though he himself would have trouble telling it, especially after the reveal that, well, Kechir was actually Kechire, that he was a she, and that the harness was never blessed, but in fact, more of a curse than anything. That did not deter him - not that anything would. He knew he looked good, and the mask was far more utilitarian than most would care to know. He smirked and readjusted it before re-reading his brother's letter.

[align=center]From Hunter to Minstrel Tale : The History of Kechire Hunter[/align] Long before I'd embarked on the massive endeavor of charting a course through history for a people who'd long eschewed the written word, I'd heard the tales of one Kechil Hunter. Man among men, he stood over a hundred ilms tall, and wielded an axe larger than a horse. He features in one tale in particular, of slaying a giant boar named Jhin terrorizing the farmers of our island. After a week of fighting non-stop, he succeeds, and in his honor, our people wish to make him a jerkin from the skin of Jhin the boar. However, since Kechir was so large, they could only make a harness, which Kechir accepted as it soon became apparent that the slaying of Jhin pleased Earth and Fire - They temporarily transferred themselves to the harness as it turned yellow before our ancestors' very eyes. Of course, this tale is exaggeration beyond words. Who would believe a midlander being 100 ilms tall? That would wield an axe larger than a horse and fight for a week straight without rest? It is a tale crafted to remember that all can honor the elements in their own way. Kechir did not work the land, nor tend the flames, nor cultivate the sea. Kechir was a hunter, and in the end, the elements blessed him like they would bless us when service is performed. Still, on a stroke of luck I encountered one of the minstrels peddling books as I was on my way to the city in order to find a steel joint to repair our pasture's fence door. He'd offer me a copy of a Roegadyn scholar who'd studied our people in ages past, and curious to see what I could find in this stranger's eyes upon us, I offered him shelter and good food for the book and a tale or two. Such is the way minstrels are treated in this land. The book revealed to me much more than I thought possible. Long before we domesticated animals, farms were solely about the noble discipline of botany, and a cadre of hunters would provide meat for the community by organizing expeditions in the forest and around the uninhabited parts of the island to hunt down savage beasts. Unlike what I hear from other lands, they used melee weapons exclusively, the knowledge of the bow unknown at the time. Typically constructed as heavier, sharper versions of botany tools, the weapons took the form of a reinforced, weighted logging axe, to herb-collecting axes, to a combination of a hoe and a pitchfork, soon refined into a more deadly instrument resembling a halberd. The idea of a sword was actually alien to our people. Though we knew how to use knives and had fabricated them, the techniques to synthesize swords were never discovered. Still, among this hunter population, a peculiar name appears - Kechire Hunter. That the legend actually existed came as a shock, much more so when I learned that the minstrels had told the story wrong. Kechire is a woman's name. She and her group of hunters concentrated on chasing off boars who'd attack the farms for an easy source of food, instead making them a good source of meat and leathers. The incident with Jhin has roots in a particular moment that the scholar witnessed. He'd described Kechire as a woman of incredible strength, equal to his Sea Wolf mates, who'd wielded an excessively large axe, one that would never be seen on a pirate ship as it would be too unwieldy at sea, and who's grace in movement, even with such an instrument, was awe-inspiring. He'd caught her in the middle of attacking a boar of considerable size and peculiar yellow pelt. Immediately, he felt he need to chronicle the assault in his own terms, which due to my own combat ignorance, I will not repeat here in fear of misusing them. She fell the mighty beast with a graceful step and a blow worthy of an executioner, cutting the boar at the neck as it charged past her. As the rest of her band of hunters gathered to help her cut the boar apart, she made sure to keep the pelt and use it as a trophy, and according to the scholar, the pelt had a strange reaction to the alumen, turning the yellow boarskin into a much darker hue of yellow. Where the mystical moments of this story stem from was that the boarskin was ready for synthesizing on a day of a solar eclipse, and that she did so immediately after it was ready. The eclipse was seen as a bad omen, unlike what the story claims. After a consultation with the Officiates and a cleansing ceremony where she offered the harness to Earth, they came up with a compromise - Earth would accept her offering if she were to never show her face while hunting. She started wearing a mask while performing her duties, and so did the hunters of their band. Soon, the mask and harness were seen as an iconic element of Toegisil's hunters. Until the practice of hunting fell out of use from domestication of the island's edible animals. That the minstrels would honor Kechire's offering by obscuring her true identity in their tales, going as far as to censor her name and womanhood, can be seen as many things. I prefer to think of this as an act of respect towards the life of one of the greatest hunters the island has produced, albeit at the expense of the truth in such a way that it denatured the entire tale. This is one of the many contradictions that compose this island's history and culture as you have undoubtedly seen by reading this tome. Still, the truth is now revealed, and as I understand, Earth has long forgiven Kechire's descendents. [align=center]* * *[/align] OOC Comments: Yes, this story is there entirely to explain Kell's WAR glamour. However, he dressed like that WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ABOUT THE TALE. To him, it was a coincidence, and more importantly, I do not mention Kechire's lower part of her outfit because it was likely a LOT more decent than what Kell is wearing. [align=justify]Anyway, comments, wtfs, deep hatred that I'm shitposting in the IC section go here. [/align]

Welcome to the madhouse that is the RPC and FFXIV. Spoke with you in the LS last night.

OOC INTRODUCTION Lately, I set up Kellach's story in that he can't go back home even temporarily to prevent writing myself into a corner if I need him to go back for some reason or another. However, the way I did it was to have a Garlean fleet blockade the port and peacefully take over the island since the natives of the Secret Island are essentially powerless before the might of... well, any standing army, really. Peaceful people for peaceful times. So, before the Garleans can eliminate the island's culture and history, Einrich, Kellach's brother, has decided to compile a book in several chapters detailing the history and culture of the island, which dates back quite some time ago. Read if you want to, don't read if you want. It starts next post. Due to the fact that it's sent to Kellach via unknown means, it won't be chronologically accurate. For those of you who've seen my... peculiar glamours which were made before I started this, it essentially explains why he would choose to do that, beyond the fact that Kell's an exhibitionist (and that I can't find a good top for my MNK outfit that isn't a fucking harness).

We have a new primal fight : Battle on the Big Keep. Gilgamesh used the crystals he was supposed to deliver to Julyan unknowingly to bring back his long-lost friend. Aka accidentally summoned a primal. Aka we have the primal fight, it's just not the one we think it is. The reason why we can survive it easy is that, well, Enkidu has no idea he can, uh, we'll call it Excalipoor people.

Honestly, I know that he's supposed to replace Desh but Desh wasn't that fucking annoying... Also, Desh sacced himself (or not really in the 3D version) to keep the floating continent floating. What's G'raha done other than whine and have heterochromatic eyes? * * * Hate it when my computer dies while I'm writing a massive personal loredump and I end up losing everything

Going in blind would be fun if I could trust my contemporaries not to be dicks. Since I DF more often than not...

I'll poke you once I get back from work, do my dishes and put the chicken in the oven.

Likely it will Although you should still pick them up on the cheap - they won't stay that way for long.

Oh dammit that's right. T n T ...sorreh... I CAN QUEUE AS MNK. ALL IS WELL. Although, uh, considering the nature of the MNK glamour I'm not sure I should. It's kinda... pro wrestler-y.

We can't queue together though. Two tanks. Unless it actually sorts out the people and spreads them through alliances now. OR I could maybe queue as MNK. Lemme check.

If you're doing Hildy all in a row, some of the cameos in the 2.5 line won't surprise you, but you'll enjoy it all the more because you'll have a greater idea of the impact he can have. Also, don't discount ANYTHING you remember from that questline - It all comes back and ties into the epilogue quite nicely. It's a very fun line that blends seriousness and the Hildy brand (pun... sorta intended) of humor that made the quests so danged enjoyable. Honestly, in my opinion, it's much better written than the MSQ by a mile. I've not done the Big Keep fight, mind, but I hear it's a fun one.