Performance Anxiety?

[Rila]

After two months as an active roleplayer on Balmung, this is something I've really struggled with, and I'm wondering if anyone here has the same issue.

 

I love the idea of RP. I do. I enjoy reading transcripts and hearing about other people's characters, and am excited about the backstories and personalities I've come up myself. It's safe to say that thinking about RP is one of my favorite FFXIV-related past times.

 

But then I try to actually RP, and that's when it goes to shit.

 

I'm not a great writer, and when I'm in an RP, I become extremely aware of this fact. I see other people come out with these delightful, interesting and well-written paragraphs in less than a minute and when it's my turn to respond, I panic. It can take me a few minutes to give a satisfactory response, and even then it's not impressive writing. Despite the fact that I've given both my characters a lot of thought, they still seem to come out sounding like caricatures. And the more I panic, the more wooden they seem to sound, the slower my responses tend to get, and the more I panic.

 

Like logically I know RP is not supposed to be a competition, but it really feels like an exam that I didn't study for a lot of the time.

 

Does all this sound familiar to anyone? If so, did it get better over time? Have you found anything that helps with this?

[Warren Castille]

In "live" roleplay, I'm pretty basic. A lot of dialogue punctuated by /em nods. and /em shrugs. a lot of the time. The important thing to remember is what you alluded to: Roleplay isn't a competition. It's a collaborative writing effort. If someone's writing long flowery paragraphs, it's because that's what they're wanting to write. If someone else sticks to just dialogue, it's not worse or lesser than someone being eloquent, it's just different.

 

Stage fright is a pretty natural thing. The best way to combat it, I think, is to surround yourself with folks you're comfortable being with in public. Go to the Drunken Wench with a partner, someone who knows you. Meet people in a tag-team setting.

[Gegenji]

I was nervous as heck when I first got onto Balmung. I had a character all thought up and ready to go but... I was afraid of RPing poorly or screwing up some other way. I spent most of my first day on the server wondering if I had gotten in over my head and jumped into something without thinking it through.

 

Then I got into an RP, then another, and another. As I found people that I started regularly RPing with, I feel like I've become more comfortable with doing it as a whole. I still worry about doing something dumb here and there, but I don't feel quite as anxious anymore.

 

Also, don't stress too much about the size of your RP posts. Large or small, you can play either way! Just write how you feel comfortable writing, and I'm sure you'll be fine. If you're RPing with someone who's going to judge you for not writing paragraphs, then you're probably better off finding someone else, after all.

 

... Um, hope that helps? :blush:

[Aya]

You're definitely not alone, its something that people mention pretty frequently..

 

You've already hit upon the best advice that I can imagine.  Its not competitive, its not sport, and there certainly are no judges waiting to write down a score.  Its interactive, and its meant to be fun and enjoyable for those involved.  And it is those last two things that should really be the focal point for determining how to respond: fun and enjoyment. 

 

People RP in different ways, and characterize their characters in a lot of different ways.  Sometimes there's good reason to focus on subtle body language, or on tone of voice, and other descriptions, and these can make for long posts. 

 

This does not necessitate a long or wordy post in response, if anything the length of the response should be determined only by your own individual judgement on what you feel like should be expressed.

 

Sometimes the best, and most meaningful response to a very long post could be immensely short.  A nod.  A smile.  A shrug of the shoulders, or a several word verbal response.  There's no need to feel like it should be in some way equal to the one that came before it in detail or length.

 

No one will look down upon you for writing responses shorter than theirs.  Just do what you feel is appropriate, and more importantly, what you feel is fun.  In other words: don't worry, be happy.

 

 

Edit: I just want to re-iterate what Warren said. In public, especially, say, QS RP, I tend to keep my emotes much shorter and less flowery. Pretty basic body language, expressions, and short sentences where possible. Sometimes someone asks what is available to order though... then it may get a little bit longer!

[Zhavi]

It's a confidence thing. As in, you're lacking confidence in your writing abilities, and as a result you're biased towards other people over yourself. Pretty much everyone who has ever confided in me that they think they're writing sucks I've found to have perfectly delightful writing.

 

If you can, I would try going into it with a learning mindset. Look at how people write that you like, and aim to steal techniques from them. Copy methods you like, adapt them to suit you. Try new things, come at it with the headset that you're not where you want to be, but that you're looking to improve. If you need to, tell your rp partners that. That way it makes it more acceptable to 'not be as good' as those around you -- hey, you're learning and improving, and there's never anything wrong with that. I mean hell, there's always something new to learn anyways!

 

It's helped me during those times that I feel like my writing is shit, my ideas are shit, everything is shit.

 

I think most writers go through that, even some who are wildly successful. Sometimes you can work your way out of it, sometimes you just gotta muddle for awhile feeling like shit and take a break to reset your brain, as it were.

[Rila]

Wow, thanks for the responses so far. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this.

 

I feel like I should clarify something though: my personal writing style actually tends more toward longer paragraphs. I like to describe my characters' tone of voice and body language, though I definitely do not judge anyone for making shorter replies instead. But because I tend to want to be more descriptive, it also adds to my response time - which is another thing I'm self conscious over.

 

But yeah, when I'm really stressing out, it's the content of the responses that I'm worried about more so than the length.

 

@Zhavi You know, I hadn't really thought of doing it, but now that you mention it, I'll give it a shot next time. Admitting that I'm learning does seem a lot more genuine than pretending I know what I'm doing, and it also seems like a good way to make OOC connections.

[No Longer Exists]

*Rises up from beneath the hat on the floor, adjusts it on his head* 

 

RPers can be very much like writers, hypercritical of their own works. This is common of any creative outlet and those who use them though, even musicians go through such angst when composing score or lyrics. So the most important thing to remember in a situation like this is...

 

 

Don't Panic!

 

 

If you're not a Douglass Adams fan, that's alright. The point is that RP is first and foremost about FUN!

 

RADFMEZCjeM

 

Fun doesn't involve fear or apprehension. That's what makes it great. So just enjoy yourself, don't worry about "less or more" in your emotes or replies. Enjoy the character you wrote the way you want to enjoy it. 8-)

 

Cheers!

 

-Black Hat

 

*Disappears back under the hat, leaving it on the floor*

[C'kayah Polaali]

I'll second what Zhavi said. Always be learning. That works for pretty much anything you could ever do in life. People love to look like they know what they're doing, that they're experts, and it is fun to be perceived as an expert. The fact of the matter is, though, the only thing that really makes someone an expert is a willingness to learn and lots of practice.

[Nebbs]

Fear not, I am very dyslexic and fail hard at both the writing of those symbol things into words, as well are the reading thing.

 

My number one tip for you is provide responses that add to the roleplay, so rather than yes/no/maybe, ..

 

eg

Q - "What is your favorite colour?"

 

A - "Well red, and my eyes were drawn to your red robes, they are just wonderful. Where did you find such a thing?"

or

A - "Well red, and I was looking for some red shoes in the market, would you happen to know where that is?"

or

A - "Red, no blue, maybe green.. it all depends on why you asked?" she blinks her eyes up at the stranger with a hopeful smile

[Jerciex]

Cheers!

There are all-kind of RPers in-game and it means there different type of Role-players. Some people are very creative, use "fancy words" and have awesome style in RP, and someones are little bit more simple (I'm simple one and I tend to feel same as you do about my performance). Even styles are different, it doesn't mean another one is 'inferior'. You can experience great moments with both.

Reason why we get easily anxiety about our own performance is worry that we don't give same experience another person as this does. We don't wanna disappoint anyone. I have noticed that talking OOCly about performance with someone you have RPed with, allows to see good points in performance. With feedback I have been able to improve and cheer someone else. I think feedback is always good, it prevents "bad thoughts" in head (Like: "I wonder if (s)he hated RP with me." "I bet (s)he was bored whole session"). As long feedback is honest, it great!

 

Like many others might have said that already: You aren't alone with this! We learn and grow from our experiences.

[Roen]

I agree with all of the posters above.

 

And I too completely understand what you mean about performance anxiety. I have played with RPers where I have paused and said... "MAN. That was a great way of phrasing that" or "Geez this person is good..." and then look at my own post and find it somewhat lacking.

 

But I will tell you this. I have NEVER went the other way and said "Wow that person said -that- twice" or "that was a horrible way of phrasing that" ... like ever!

 

Live RP is fast paced and I think all of us know we are put on the spot to react right away and type out something. Some of us do it better than others. I know I have admired other people's skills and tried to learn something while RPing with them. But I know I am too busy to knit pick at other people's RP -while- I am actually RPing.

 

So just get in the moment and write your heart out! And don't go back and judge yourself! It's the most surest way to get yourself out of the moment! MOST likely people aren't judging you. They are in the moment going along with the scene and trying to decide what they are going to say next with THEIR character.

 

And as other people have said... have fun with it!

[Melkire]

I took regular piano instruction for twelve years.

 

For nine of those years, I attended every small recital and concert that my instructor recommended me to. I practiced various pieces for them, depending on the theme: Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Chopin, Mendelssohn, Tchaikovsky, Brahms, and more. There were generally two or three, sometimes four recitals and concerts in a year. One was always hosted by my instructor for her studio. The others were always these get-togethers for instructors of the community to show off their students, raise their prestige, and push those students to the forefront so that they could be seen and heard, perhaps earn accolades, and maybe even be "scouted".

 

Nine years. Eighteen recitals and concerts at least, twenty-seven at most.

 

Trust me when I say that I know exactly how you feel.

 

I didn't get into music, didn't choose to play piano, because I wanted to be a professional, or because my parents forced me to it, or because I was looking to show off. I genuinely love music, especially the works of the Romantic era (Classical and Baroque pieces still hold a strong place in my heart). I love listening, and even more so I love making music, knowing that I can sit down, on my own, whenever I want, place my fingers on the keyboard, and create something beautiful.

 

But here's the rub: instruction, my teacher told me, is guidance, and practice is, well, practice. The best way to improve was to be exposed to what others could do, so that I'd find my drive, so that I'd strive to better myself, to improve, to be lit on fire, so to speak. Public performances, I was told, were for my own good.

 

It never feels that way at the time. You're sitting there, hands in your lap, head tucked down, and then, at last, after an eternity of waiting, you hear your name called, and you panic. Except this isn't the sudden panic of cartoons, where the person in question is twitching and running about like a spaz. No. It's not sudden at all. It's a cold chill throughout your entire body, a heavy weight in your chest, a thousand butterflies in your stomach and a million needles across your skin, and that feeling has been building ever since you walked in and sat down. You’re sitting there, and you’re listening to everyone before you, who had their turn first, and they’re setting their fingers to the keys and something marvelously divine is filling the air, but you can’t soar with them, no, that weight in your chest is holding you down, because they’re so good, you’ll never be that good, you’re awful, why didn't you practice more, why couldn't you be better, why are you even here, you sit down at home and turds fall from the sky when you play, you can’t take this, you don’t belong here, you’re a miserable waste of space, you never belonged here and you never will, and that’s when you hear your name called. Now you’re on a precipice. Part of you wants to stand. Part of you wants to stand up and burst into tears, and regretfully inform the crowd that you’re sorry, you can’t, you have to go. That same part of you wants to walk out, wants to run even because you can’t bear the feel of their eyes on you, you want to leave and go home and cry and never come back.

 

But there’s also a part of you that wants to swallow down all your doubts and fears, wants to nod and step out of the aisle and walk up there and sit down at the bench. You want to set your hands and feet in their places, take as many long, deep breaths as you think you can afford, and then play. You will fuck up. You will hit a wrong note here and there. You’re too loud on this section, and too quiet on the next. You might even freeze up, your mind blanking because you don’t remember what comes next, and you either have to stand and bow, or else suffer the intense silence and the murmuring that follows until memory, mind or muscle, kicks back in. And once you’re done, once you’ve played your part, the pressure is lifted, the weight is gone… but the dread isn’t. Because as you stand to bow, you’re aware: they’re judging you. They’ve been judging you the whole time. All you want to do is play, to have fun, to make music, to listen, to bask, but you have to perform and now they’re judging you for it and what right do they have and oh god they probably think you’re awful, you were nowhere near as good as the folks before you….

 

What you don’t realize until a long, long time after, years even, is that each and every person in that crowd is rooting for you. They are hoping to hear something beautiful flow from your fingertips. They are cheering you on. Why? Because they’re not here for a perfect rendition. Perfect renditions are boring.

 

They’re here for YOUR rendition.

 

Yes, they might have shown up for their child, or their friend, or someone they know. They’re not really here for you. But polite niceties require that they sit through the entire show, and that means that, when you get up on stage, they’re hoping you give it your all, that you can produce something that’ll catch their attention, their interest, that you’ll entice and seduce and enchant them. They don’t want to hear same old Beethoven’s Fifth as played a hundred thousand times by everyone else, their mother, the television and the film industries.

 

They want your take.

 

That’s how much you matter to them, at that moment.

 

I almost always cried when I got home. I was rarely satisfied with my own performance. But gradually, I learned that I was improving. My instructor would bring me the review and commentary sheets from the real judges, the instructors from colleges and universities and conservatories, and they’d be wonderful. “I really liked your take on this section!” “Work on your memorization, you missed a few notes, but I’m looking forward to hearing more from you.” “You have a talent for evoking feeling.” Always, they would know where I screwed up… but they weren’t interested in my faults. They were interested in what I, and I alone, could bring to the music. They loved hearing the way I splashed myself onto the pages, how I colored the music.

 

So you know what I did? What I kept doing?

 

I’d take those fears, and that pain, and the tears, and the regret, and I’d ball it up, and I’d feed that ball as fuel to the fire. I told myself I’d do better next time, that I’d practice, that I wouldn’t half-ass it, that I’d put more time and more importantly more attention into my time at the piano, and that I wouldn’t just fall back on muscle memory – that I’d listen to myself play. And you know what? I did. And I got better.

 

I still get that feeling, every time I sit down at the piano, whether it’s for a recital or for friends and family. Even when it’s for myself, because I can hear every mistake, every off-kilter note. The cold is always there. So is the weight. So are the butterflies and the needles. But it’s worth it. I love creating. I love soaring. And if I have to suffer a little so that I can soar with others, and they can soar with me, so be it. I’ll be smiling and laughing as I cry at the keyboard, so to speak.

 

Performance anxiety feels awful.

 

But it can be a good kind of awful. All you have to do to improve your self-confidence is to keep throwing yourself back out there, no matter how much it hurts. Eventually, those review sheets will come back with A’s and S’s and “EXQUISITE” and “I loved it, I was moved to tears."

 

Mine did. Took nearly seven or eight of my nine years to get there, but they did.

 

You can do it.

[Lekka Meyren]

Sometimes I've had scenes between two people where it took a few minutes between each response; But I have a rather verbose style when others around me also do..

 

I think it's just a thing to get used to; and I think in many cases people will be happy to "wait" for you to act, particularly if you are currently being talked to or acted with.

 

It's also definitely something I had a lot more of before though, when I first came to balmung I was really unconfident in how to play my character and interact with people around me; but I guess having gotten to know her better through her interaction with others, it kinda comes easier?

Like now she can be a little rude at times to people she has only just met, simply because it would be her natural reaction.  When I started out I was more of a polite stick.

[Gegenji]

-A thing of complete beauty-

 

 

... That's... that's all I can put, really.

[Rila]

^ That gif right there is pretty much how I felt after reading it.

[Gone.]

I'm going to try really hard and avoid getting too personal with this. Forgive me if I go too far, though; not sure I can offer anything else given what's already been said.

 

People with extreme social anxiety and confidence issues... we deal with this all the time. I know you think I'm better at managing it than you, but truth is? Every time I send you something of mine to read, I'm deathly afraid of being rejected no matter how overwhelmingly positive you've been before. I honestly am.

 

It's hard, it really is. If I could take that feeling away, I would, because I know the pain and stress it causes all too well. It gets even worse knowing full well that there are people that would judge you for your roleplay. They do it to me and they'd do it to you.

 

Does it hurt? You damn well know it does, especially when the reasons aren't even justified. They usually aren't. But at the end of the day, it's not going to stop us from doing the very things we love so much.

 

That's what always brings me back. Telling stories isn't just a hobby for me. It's both a lifelong dream and a therapy, more so when I can involve other people with it. To spend a few hours in the mindset of someone else, someone completely different from I am... it's therapeutic, mind opening even. I've never gotten the feeling that we differ much here, so in my opinion? Embrace it. Hard.

 

Also know that I will never, ever judge you, Rila. I love you and your characters. To have a chance to interact with them is a blessing that I respect to the fullest. I don't care that you take a few minutes to respond to me. You're a wonderful writer with beautiful ideas and a penchant for fleshed-out, three-dimensional characters that understands what I'm trying to do better than most ever will.

 

Playing Final Fantasy XIV was worth it just to meet you, so try not to doubt yourself, please. If not for me, then yourself, because you deserve it.

[Erik Mynhier]

I find that for people trying to improve or break into rp, maybe a few off the books practice rpes are in order. Simple ones that if they go good you keep in your canon, and if not so good you learn from.

 

I would be happy to do a few with you if you like.

[Zhavi]

I find that for people trying to improve or break into rp, maybe a few off the books practice rpes are in order. Simple ones that if they go good you keep in your canon, and if not so good you learn from.

 

I would be happy to do a few with you if you like.

 

Hee, I did that before with one of my old rp buddies who came to the game to try out the rp. Rather, we started to rp, and he goes 'no, this is all wrong, I hate this' and was frustrated because it wasn't what he wanted from his character.

 

So we tossed that rp out the window and started over! No harm, no foul.

[Edvyn]

i wouldn't be too worried about trying to keep up with the para rpers anyway, just get across what your character is doing clearly and succinctly

 

typing up long flowery paragraphs works just fine for creative writing classes and forum rp but it actually gets pretty obnoxious when you've got this one hack in a public spot (like the quicksand) taking multiple chatboxes to type up some long, overblown exposition on how they're holding a drink or how their eyes are majestic twinkling orbs or some other shit

 

unless you're in an arranged event with people you already know, being needlessly verbose can be an inconvenience to anyone reading your posts - should strangers feel obligated to wait around for and then wade through the clumsy wording of your essay on smirking?

 

being descriptive is not always a good thing, especially if it sacrifices clarity in the name of pretentious purple prose

 

i started reading Isaac Asimov's Nemesis the other day, and found this little bit in the author's note:

 

 

I made up my mind long ago to follow one cardinal rule in all my writing—to be 'clear'. I have given up all thought of writing poetically or symbolically or experimentally, or in any of the other modes that might (if I were good enough) get me a Pulitzer prize. I would write merely clearly and in this way establish a warm relationship between myself and my readers, and the professional critics—Well, they can do whatever they wish.

 

adapt your style to the situation, do not feel pressured to "perform" - especially for strangers - and do not hold other roleplayers up on a mental pedestal based on how much text they can churn out

 

quantity is not quality 8-)

[Elysia]

Hi there! I completely understand how you feel. I experience some form of performance anxiety in every post - here or in-game, and in my job, too, where I regularly have to 'perform' to a bunch of teens in the classroom everyday. So I know what pressure is. Especially since we might be perfectionists. 

 

I am terribly self-conscious - and nervousness makes it even harder to think on my feet - this fear, I think, has led me to avoid rp-ing in crowded places. Which has inevitably lost me quite a bit of rp opportunity. (And I'm working on that.) I also often have major "l'esprit de l'escalier " moments - ESPECIALLY if my character was created to be A Certain Way and absolutely did not deliver. 

 

I am one of those who actually tend towards paragraphing because it helps me to get into my character more, and also because it's good writing practice. I agree with Edvyn, though, that quantity is NOT quality; this also means that when you regularly construct paragraphs within the span of five minutes, the practice actually helps you get better at knowing how to avoid purple prose when you put the pen to the paper in other contexts. That said, I've also learnt to 'sync' with the other player. I appreciate BOTH quick, plain dialogue RP and taking time to work with words because it see them both as invaluable instruction. (for the latter, it also definitely helps to have a buddy who doesn't mind you taking ten minutes to churn out replies. My point: whatever works for you, and with whom, and when ) 

 

And finally, I don't think we Go To Shit all the time. This is writing we're talking about. There're some days where we produce gems and others when everything we type is just clumsy. We need to let it go when the latter happens. The problem with RP in-game is that there's no editing - but it's definitely good training. That perspective has helped me to really enjoy the process and I really do hope you do, too!

[Ette]

Write what you like, with people that you like, who like you, in spaces that you’re comfortable.

 

Spaces you’re comfortable aren’t limited to ingame, either.

 

For instance I need at least ten minutes (usually) before I go into a scene. I need to remember HOW THE HELL TO PLAY MY OWN DAMN CHARACTER (no seriously). I probably need some coffee or tea. I gotta listen to some tunes that remind me of her or set the mood for the scene I’m trying to write. Bear in mind I’m super ADD (the diagnosed kind not the LOL RANDOM LOOK A SQUIRREL kind) so my environment is a contributing factor to what kind of posts I’ll be cranking out.

 

Read your dialogue out loud. Does it sound stilted? Well now you can audibly hear that it does and understand how to fix it. Things tend to have a habit of sounding better in my head so sometimes it helps to write.

 

Realize that a ton of people are SUPER INSECURE about a lot of things and it’s not just you. I know I worry all the damn time about whether or not my writing is entertaining. The thing is people usually won’t hang around someone they don’t like and don’t have fun with for over long. If someone has been your RP partner for six months (or several years I mutter as I look towards my poor probably stockholmed RP friends) they’re probably gonna be around for another six months. And if people don't like your stuff? Well, we're our own worst critics. Whatever they're saying is probably mild by comparison. 

 

Purple prose good writing does not make. You do you. It’s cool to write big long posts. It’s cool to write itty bitty posts. Just make sure whatever you’re trying to convey is being conveyed.

 

Also as someone who deals with anxiety don’t be afraid to voice your concerns to your friends. They’re your friends for a reason. Sometimes I do need a "nah you're fun to write with" and it snaps me out of whatever funk I'm in.

[Arelian Solin]

Because I really don't wanna echo the entirety of Ette's post, I'm just going to add onto it with one or two things.

 

She mentions reading your dialogue aloud. If you've the privacy or the gumption to do so, act out the facial expressions and motions as well. A lot of the time I'm making dumb faces at my monitor so I can figure out the descriptions.

 

There's also the golden rule of writing:

 

K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple, Stupid. Don't purple your prose up too much -- it makes it difficult to decipher what your character is doing. If I'm looking to add character to my post, I'm typically doing so with asides and small details (like an ear flicking or rubbing at the tip of your nose) as opposed to writing 2 paragraphs about my character's specific features. There's a time and a place for going into detail about specifics.

 

Okay, I lied. There's a third thing to add.

 

Practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make better.

It's obvious, but the only way to feel good about your writing is to put it out there more and more often. The more you write, the more confident you get about certain things. And the less confident you get about other stuff. It's really just a giant balancing act of what you're feeling insecure about on any given day.

 

Other than that! Yeah, people are rarely just hangin' around to put on a pity party. If you've made RP friends, there's a pretty high chance that they've enjoyed something of yours they've seen. Nobody expects perfection on a daily basis. Even professional writers have supremely shitty days where they can't write anything coherent to save their lives.

[Magellan]

To be honest Rila, I'm surprised you're new. You've always come off as a natural, accomplished rper to me with what few scenes we've had together. Any Rila comes across to me as a vibrant, rather charismatic woman, not a caricature in the slightest.

 

I've only been at this 4 years, which makes me relatively new compared to some folks. I still come up with characters that I feel are completely flat, and I quietly shelve them away. I still have scenes with established characters, in which I feel I am not really tapping into my characters head, and that I am boring the other person(s) to tears. I get frustrated. I cut scenes short. I take a break from rp for a day or two and recollect my creative drive.

 

 

What it boils down to for me is two things: 1 - I really want to entertain other people. That is the main drive of rp for me. If others appear to be entertained, then I am entertained, and everyones having a good time. 

 

2 - I am my own worst critic. This comes from wanting to be a writer. If I feel the scene I am in is flat, 90% of the time I blame myself, and feel I'm not doing enough to create a dynamic spark. Or worse, that I'm boring the person(s) I'm with ^.^; (that is my number one rp fear: that I'll be boring)

 

With time and practice, I have overcome many of the things that trip me up with rp. I still have days and sessions where I feel like I'm just not contributing anything to the scene, but those are fewer and farer between (I don't know if farer is a word, but dagnabit, I'm gonna use it!)

 

Just try to take a deep breath and let yourself ease into it, and expose yourself to your doubts, while simultaneously working to overcome them. And ljsten to your peers! They are very helpful!

 

Wouldn't qualify myself as a 'peer', but even so, I think you have a terrific character and a great writing voice!

[Delilah Scythewood]

I had this feeling a lot when I was first in an MMO. Only now my performance anxiety comes from when someone IRL watches me type out a post or RP. So now it's house rule to not look over my shoulder or I bonk someone. >.>;

[Rila]

A lot of good replies in this thread thus far. I find the advice, encouragement and personal experiences to be very valuable. So, thank you. It's certainly a relief to know I'm not alone in this and I'm glad I started this topic.

 

A few ideas that I've taken out of everyone's responses so far:

 

-The next time I RP, especially in a group setting, I'll try to spend a little less time panicking and a little more time observing other people's writing techniques.

 

-I do frequently get bogged down with descriptions. Not in a way that I want it to sound pretty, but sometimes I visualize a certain gesture or a subtle but meaningful shift in body language, and I want my response to adequately describe exactly what I'm seeing in my head. I feel like this ties into the previous point where learning how other people handle things will help. But I'll also try to give myself the occasional reminder not to fuss over it too much. And of course, to keep it concise and easy to read.

 

-Also in line with the learning thing, it wouldn't be a bad idea, next time I RP with someone new, to just be like, "so, I'm a newb. Pls to give critical feedback if anything comes to mind."

 

-I also liked Erik Mynhier's idea of RPing just to practice and not counting as anything that actually happens IC. Wonder if there's a linkshell for this... if not, I bet it'd be well received.