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Kage

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I'm sure they only get frustrated because they care. ;_; Anxiety over a game isn't worth it. (Not when they're supposed to be fun)

 

But I would say that raiding with a group of people you're comfortable with does make things easier. Whether that means being able to yell back at them on a voice chat or something, or knowing that it's a game, and being able to progress at your own pace.

 

and then there're people like me who need to be dragged into such things because I'll only casually enter them otherwise.

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My short answer: Play with friends. I refuse to PUG even dungeons a lot of the time. The game's meant to be fun, and unfortunately our PvE community is full of angst. While there aren't always a ton, there are RPers who like to raid and play the content. Even if you don't join someone's FC, I'm sure there are groups needing another to fill the spot.

 

Hell, my raid just got a couple spots that opened up. What class do you play?

 

(I didn't post to recruit you, I promise.) But yeah, my advice would be to find RPers who like to raid. Its typically a lot less stressful. And playing with the same people every week, you get to know them and can trust them. I think that would lower the anxiety over time if you had a steady foundation of people.

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I know the feeling being an old PvE/PvP obsessed person I still feel the pull. But in the end RP is more rewarding for me. And with limited time RP gets top pick.

 

As RPers we are unlikely to be at the top of end game just due to the hours needed, but for those who want we should be able to "get there". I have slowly made it past T6, through use of PuGs to learn then often some friends for the tougher wins (eg Titan, T5). Though T6 & Ramuh I PuGed and got lucky.

 

So it is doable, and if you can spare the time a "static" may work for you. I think ideally you wouln need to look at an RP guild that has some PvE in it and helps members along. I have done this in other games and that works well as long as the PvE is a secondary activity. 

 

In the end you have to put the work in to be able to do the latest end game, or wait for the echo assist. Try some of the LS for PvE or some FCs do open Raid nights.

 

Myself I get the urge, go for it and then end up in a PuG of nightmares (attitudes not skill) and run back to my RP, even crafting looks fun compared to some PuGs.

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Myself I get the urge, go for it and then end up in a PuG of nightmares (attitudes not skill) and run back to my RP, even crafting looks fun compared to some PuGs.

 

That's kinda how I treat it. ...I don't mind going into a PuG for some practice, or maybe even just for "lulz". But if I'm actually interested in winning/trying to win, a group of friends generally makes it that much more enjoyable.

 

But I also love crafting. Ixal quests have been the best thing ever.

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I think it depends on how much progression is important and if it's just a fad with the new content.

 

Best way to get started with this goal is to ask friends and be available to fill in.

- Ask what is expected and be prepared for that with supplies, spells, guides, theory, etc.

- Ask when they usually run and be around those times. If they need bench people etc. It's always important to give core people a break and to keep a bench up-to-speed and interested so swaps in a good regular static should happen often. Plus I can imagine it with role players in particular they probably like to take a night off.

- If you see someone that you really got in-sync with at a PuG talk to them see if they're on the same server and friend them. Even if the group was a failure there was success in meeting a potential person for a static. Or maybe it was an off-night in their group/they were helping a friend/they were gearing an alt/etc and they might invite you into their main static activities.

 

Otherwise if this is something that's becoming a super interest there's a difference between a progression-driven player and a role player more often than not. My experience in a different game came back to that conclusion time and time again. Figure out your goals, what you are willing and aren't willing to do, then ask around and see if another group of people are striving for basically the same thing. A guild/free company was typically the way to go in that case because keeping up with separate people was a huge investment of time with little return. Particularly in progression-based goals wasting time was not an option.

 

But to start out keep using Party Finder keep asking friends maybe set up a little time and figure out when most people are free. Having 4+ people that know each other in a group is a huge step up from total strangers and, even if it fails, it's less of a disappointment.

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It's hard finding such group that is willing to put ~2 hours per raid night per 2-3 nights a week... when you don't know who or what to look for or you're completely afraid to.

 

To be horrifically frank, if someone wasn't in my guild/free company I would not make them core.

 

Period; no exceptions. The raid group is not that person's priority if they can't be in the guild that talks about it, has forum boards about it, can hear each other on a daily basis, work together, etc. It was too important of a show of commitment.

 

If someone was showing up as a bench spot consistently I would eventually poach them from whatever nonsense guild they were in.

 

I realize that sounds terrible. Sorry.

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I'm of the opinion you just be nice and honest when you join groups in PF. Also only join groups in PF with voice, since it implies a certain amount of organization. A surprising amount of the time they'll ask you if you can do the next turn with them, or come back next week. Even if not, your name will get out there.

 

I'm of the opinion that pugs can turn into groups of friends. So even if you don't know each other at first, eventually you'll become pretty close!

 

Also known as pugs to hugs.

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Hrm... I am having a progression problem as well.

 

I love RP alot, but I also love PvE progression alot. The problem with this though I think is the lack of players willing to take criticism for messing up, or blaming the healer or tank because "Lol, I died so I blame the more essential roles for failing.".

 

If players could get over themselves and be willing to take criticism, we would see a marginally higher amount of endgame progression group.

 

For example, I was part of a static for about a week before I got booted not very long ago. It wasn't because I was rude or unwilling to cooperate or anything jerky in general, it was because of other things. They wanted me to use teamspeak, but I couldn't due to the fact that my system acted up when I used team speak and I was bad at dodge heavy mechanics. They kindly asked me to leave and I did, but Ive been working on my dodging skills, what with me being a melee DPS as my main raid class, thats been quite hard.

 

I'm getting off track, main point is that it's all about the right group and how well you communicate and get along with others.

 

With that said, if ExKage wants to form a static, I wouldn't mind participating in it, that's if I can get through T5 though.  xD   I have managed to get up to phase 4 in that dang troll of a fight.   xD

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It's hard finding such group that is willing to put ~2 hours per raid night per 2-3 nights a week... when you don't know who or what to look for or you're completely afraid to.

 

To be horrifically frank, if someone wasn't in my guild/free company I would not make them core.

 

Period; no exceptions. The raid group is not that person's priority if they can't be in the guild that talks about it, has forum boards about it, can hear each other on a daily basis, work together, etc. It was too important of a show of commitment.

 

If someone was showing up as a bench spot consistently I would eventually poach them from whatever nonsense guild they were in.

 

I realize that sounds terrible. Sorry.

 

I completely disagree with this.

 

I would understand your position if there were some kind of ranking that depended on guild membership - because in that case, it would be detrimental to the guild itself for the person to not be a member.

 

But between linkshells and forums, there is no reason why a person not in your Free Company can't be a full participant in your raids and be fully committed.

 

People join Free Companies for a variety of reasons, and on an RP server it is especially common that people are in Free Companies for RP reasons.  There are quite a few progression-oriented players out there who are in FCs with their RP group, but still desire (and in many cases manage) to be in statics that may have nothing to do with their Free Company for the purposes of progression.  I myself spent time before my break in a static formed of myself, one other FC member, and a mixture of friends we met pugging.  And if you say I wasn't "committed," I'm going to laugh in your face.

 

You can be on the forums that "talk" about it without being in a Free Company (since your website isn't connected to SE, there's no way for your website to "know" unless you just don't approve them for forum access).  You can be fully committed and talking constantly about it in linkshells without being in the Free Company, since Linkshells are a totally separate thing.

 

A better characterization of your position is that you personally don't like taking people who aren't in your Free Company to do serious content - which is a completely valid position to have.  But saying that someone has to be in your Free Company or they're not "committed" to doing serious content is quite frankly ridiculous.

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So basically it is PUG or build my own static from scratch?

 

What else would it be?

 

Either you get 7 other people you know together and work out a static. Or you pug until you find an existing static that needs a permanent replacement.

 

Not sure what other possibility there would be.

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It's hard finding such group that is willing to put ~2 hours per raid night per 2-3 nights a week... when you don't know who or what to look for or you're completely afraid to.

 

To be horrifically frank, if someone wasn't in my guild/free company I would not make them core.

 

Period; no exceptions. The raid group is not that person's priority if they can't be in the guild that talks about it, has forum boards about it, can hear each other on a daily basis, work together, etc. It was too important of a show of commitment.

 

If someone was showing up as a bench spot consistently I would eventually poach them from whatever nonsense guild they were in.

 

I realize that sounds terrible. Sorry.

 

Also yeah like Liadan I disagree with this too. I'm not a FC member of my current static. Actually only 5/8 of them are. However we've been doing it for the last several months with no issues.

 

If your static needs a person, and someone pugs it with you, and then keeps showing up when you ask, why not make them a core member! Yes they could jump ship... but so could your FC members.

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To be horrifically frank, if someone wasn't in my guild/free company I would not make them core.

 

Period; no exceptions. The raid group is not that person's priority if they can't be in the guild that talks about it, has forum boards about it, can hear each other on a daily basis, work together, etc. It was too important of a show of commitment.

 

If someone was showing up as a bench spot consistently I would eventually poach them from whatever nonsense guild they were in.

 

I realize that sounds terrible. Sorry.

That does sound terrible.  I never join raid groups (in any game) with a strict guild requirement, and never shall.  I'm glad that I have no interest in doing so for FF, my "nonsense" FC is mine, and shall stay that way :-]

 

When I join a raid group, you earn my "raiding energy", that's it.  If you expect more, you can find someone else.

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Because I guess I'm doing this:

Spend months just waiting along for something to magically change in yourself?

 

 

Kage, you have to decide what you really want.

 

If you really want to do serious progression, you're going to have to make it happen yourself.

 

I understand being scared - I've been scared before.  But serious, what do you think will happen if you make a mistake?

 

Even the highest of high-end guilds have members that make mistakes - some on a  regular basis.  I've watched world-class guilds completely fail at what is simple content because one thing led to another and then everything went to hell.

 

The only people who freak out over mistakes and start yelling about how you're bad and you should feel bad are generally those who themselves are bad.

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The best (and only) raid group I've ever been a part of understood that there's a difference between Us: The Friends and Us: The Raid Group. It's similar if you've ever worked with a friend and one of you had a position higher than the other; When it's work time, we're not friends. And at the end of a shift, we're not co-workers. It's rare to find people who can sort of mesh with that, though.

 

Case in point: While everyone tries to be as patient as you can while learning mechanics, when it becomes obvious that one person is the point of repeated failure there's not a lot of options. You either tell that person to get it in gear, or you wipe for hours and hours on a mechanic. I still remember praying for Rot to land on someone who knew how to handle it, because even with voice, sometimes your friends aren't really able to do things. It blows. I know I'm the type to yell when I run out of patience, but I'd like to think we got results. I never meant any ill-will at the end of a run, but again, not everyone is capable of compartmentalizing the sort of things that can be said when tension is high, there's work in the morning and you've repeatedly wiped to someone voicing everyone/adds not dying/fight mechanic du jour.

 

Of course, I say this having raided with one group through several games, and once we split apart I sort of hung up my boots. I'm probably the worst person to listen to on this subject.

 

Find people you work with, throw yourself at it, and try to stay sane. Raiding is fun when you're successful but it's (for me) highly stressful when it isn't. The ends don't justify the means for me anymore.

 

That said if anyone wants a tank to kill them repeatedly in new and exciting areas I'm available!

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I agree with Warren to a certain extent. However the new content has a lot of gates to it. If you're past all those gates and attempting or clearing the start of SCOB, you already have the skills to clear the whole thing. The only issue is finding a group somewhere near your skill level, so you don't get frustrated with them, and they don't get frustrated with you.

 

I think as long as you're honest with them about your skill level, and are willing to accept positive criticism, it can be a pretty fun experience.

 

For example in T8 I often forget to cast stoneskin on the guy with the homing missle, and he dies :c. Everyone is like NATALIEEEEEEEE..... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. But no one gets mad, and we all laugh about it.

 

Well I laugh about it.

 

The dead guy isn't laughing because he's dead.

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I do kind of want to get into this, but the amount of commitment required and the social barrier (which, for someone with as extreme social anxiety disorder as I have, is a fortress wall for all intents and purposes) makes things extraordinarily difficult for me. Hell, most groups even need specific classes, and I can only gear up two jobs with any level of efficiency in the first place, which further complicates things.

 

The end result is that I've not even stepped foot into the first Coil, not once, for the reasons above. I just can't be arsed to go through all that trouble for an experience that, frankly, is only a means to an end. I don't even have any performance anxiety, as I have (justified) confidence that I can adapt to any mechanics the game throws at me, but the other problems are simply too insurmountable for someone like me. If only my old guild rolled on Balmung, I probably wouldn't be in this position...

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The best (and only) raid group I've ever been a part of understood that there's a difference between Us: The Friends and Us: The Raid Group. It's similar if you've ever worked with a friend and one of you had a position higher than the other; When it's work time, we're not friends. And at the end of a shift, we're not co-workers. It's rare to find people who can sort of mesh with that, though.

 

Case in point: While everyone tries to be as patient as you can while learning mechanics, when it becomes obvious that one person is the point of repeated failure there's not a lot of options. You either tell that person to get it in gear, or you wipe for hours and hours on a mechanic. I still remember praying for Rot to land on someone who knew how to handle it, because even with voice, sometimes your friends aren't really able to do things. It blows. I know I'm the type to yell when I run out of patience, but I'd like to think we got results. I never meant any ill-will at the end of a run, but again, not everyone is capable of compartmentalizing the sort of things that can be said when tension is high, there's work in the morning and you've repeatedly wiped to someone voicing everyone/adds not dying/fight mechanic du jour.

 

Of course, I say this having raided with one group through several games, and once we split apart I sort of hung up my boots. I'm probably the worst person to listen to on this subject.

 

Find people you work with, throw yourself at it, and try to stay sane. Raiding is fun when you're successful but it's (for me) highly stressful when it isn't. The ends don't justify the means for me anymore.

 

That said if anyone wants a tank to kill them repeatedly in new and exciting areas I'm available!

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIIIIIIIS.

 

Also, may poke you at some point since Agent is usually short a tank when we go to die in places over and over

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Kage, if ever you would like to start a static of your own, or help flesh out a semi-existing one, let me know. I have been stuck for quite a while between RP and just farming for glamours *cough* But, I am a BRD (preferred), BLM, and WHM who has cleared first coil and willing to help. Everything else, I'm right with you, learning and wanting a clear. I have a few other friends that if we figured out a good day and time to do thing, would be more than happy to help.

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My 'static' (of which remains only three original) has fallen apart multiple times, people show up late/drunk/high or not at all with no notice to the rest of us leading to people leaving out of frustration or they get poached/guilt tripped into joining other statics behind our progression. Due to such misfortunes we've had to rely on PF to fill in the missing roles. I already have terrible anxiety about strangers to begin with and its near crippling with the added pressure of pugs judging my performance harshly and ready to tear me a new one if I slip up.

 

I want to raid with friends but I'm not a role they need, they already have their own full static or don't have the time for/aren't interested in current endgame.

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