Cliques, Popularity, and Positivity

[Faye]

This conversation was sparked by this thread, but I decided to make a new thread as to not derail the original topic and detract from all the great discussion happening there. (Plus, I know I can be pretty long winded and didn't want to spam the thread--that being said, please bear with me!) Spahro actually typed up a thread in a similar vein while I was typing all this, woo!

 

So let's start with cliques!

 

Such a dirty word! At least, that's how it's often thrown around in RP communities. But the truth is--

 

Cliques aren't bad.

 

Cliques are a natural part of any social environment, and are actually good in many ways. We find people we have the most in common with, and we spend the most time with those people. Your clique can be people who are often online at the same time as you, or who want to RP the same things/genre (romance, action, etc.), or who have similar views on lore, or who have similar writing/role-play styles, or who you just get along with OOC. Your clique can be people from your free companies or linkshells, or people who often RP in the same locations as you, or people you've known for years outside the game, be it from real life or other MMO's. Maybe you're shy and your clique are the first people who spoke to you, or the people who consistently reach out to you, or the only people you know.

 

We only have time to chat and role-play with so many people in the day. We can only juggle so many conversations and role-plays at once, only have so many people present and included in the same role-play. Some people we can't even catch online and available at the same time as we are. Some people we just aren't compatible with, as role-players and/or as people. Of course we give priority to those we prefer the most, or those who are the most convenient.

 

So if cliques are a good thing, why are they demonized?

 

Well, quite simply, because cliques can become exclusive, and exclusivity is bad! RP communities are typically quite small in the grand scheme of things and need openness and inclusion to thrive. While idealistically it's something we should all be striving for, helping the RP community flourish does not need to be the personal agenda of every role-player. So with that in mind, it's fine when some people desire to be closed off, have few friends, and purposefully interact with few people. To each their own! We're all paying our own $15 a month here, so we can spend the time we pay for as we please. But those of us who do want include others may be wondering...

 

How do I stop my clique of friends and RP partners from being exclusive?

 

Quite simply, be open to others. You don't have to go out of your way to reach out to anyone, just give those trying to work their way in a chance to be involved. Obviously, if they don't mesh well with you and your friends, you don't have to integrate the person into your every day social circle. Just give the person a chance, at least, and entertain them for a couple hours! Some RP events and storylines can be difficult to involve others in, so realistically you can't really heavily include every bystander who wants to be involved. However, rather than simply ignore them or say "Sorry, you can't join us," it does wonders to explain "Hey, this is sorta pre-planned/closed/whatever so we can't really involve other people spontaneously" or even to say, "We may not be able to work you into an active role right now, but you're welcome to RP someone on the sidelines spectating!"

 

Another good thing to do is role-play publicly! While I haven't seen it as much here, in the last MMO I played, there was a large issue of many people role-playing exclusively in party chat, whispers, or guild chat. There was a rampant fear that any public role-play would be "ruined" by trolls or, worse, "bad role-players." These fears were largely unfounded, as such people were rare to encounter and fairly easily to ignore or work around. Do not let fear bog down RP for you and others. Trolls do not have to "ruin your immersion." They only have as much power of you as you let them have. Don't feed them. Don't let them win. Ignore them.

 

Next, popularity!

 

I'll try not to echo anything said in Spahro's thread too much. But it's good to remember this isn't high school. Yes, there are "popular" people here. However, popularity here isn't determined by who's the prettiest, or whose parents have the most money, or who has the wildest parties, or who made the cheerleading/football team, or who wears the nicest clothes or has the most makeout sessions under the bleachers.

 

"Popularity" on MMO's is achieved through someone's own deeds, intentionally or otherwise. It's usually not gained intentionally aside from people hoping to bring attention to their FC, linkshells, or events--things that other people in the company can participate in and benefit from. And even if it was intentional solely for one's self-interest, who can blame someone for wanting some attention? Is that not the reason anyone posts here? Don't we want our words to be read and recognized?

 

Let's not villainize the "popular" people.

 

People are "popular" here because they've made an impact. They've been present. They've been noticed consistently. Sure, sometimes people become infamous thanks to being at the center of drama or making frequent negative comments here. But more often, people are recognized for positive contributions like leading groups and making events, being very outgoing and befriending everyone, or recognized for more neutral things like being online often, posting often, chatting frequently, and being involved in many things with different circles of people. These are good things.

 

"Popularity" didn't fall into the laps of most people. It was earned by time and energy invested, role-plays had, friends made, messages sent, posts typed. They are not the chosen few, they're the few who put forth the most effort, or had the most free time to spend, or at least who had the most charisma to attract attention.

 

"Server celebrities" often do not acknowledge or sometimes even realize their own status, likely because they never meant to achieve, but rather they likely only sought to make friends and be involved in things for their own entertainment. Being "popular" does not make anyone closed off or exclusive. In fact, people in MMO's are typically considered "popular" based on them interacting with many people from different social circles.

 

A popular person may be less likely to reach out to you personally, but that does not mean they are ignoring you or don't want to interact with you! I can't speak for anyone else and I'm not sure I personally fall into the "popular" group, but I have many people asking me to role-play. I do not often ask or approach others to role-play not because I don't want to, but rather because by the time I've role-played with all the people requesting it of me, there's no time left in the day for me to request role-play from others. Chances are, if you message a "popular" person for role-play, they'll happily oblige if schedules permit!

 

Like "clique," "popular" should not be a dirty word!

 

And last, we've reached positivity!

 

As I glossed over in addressing popularity, being well-known is achieved by someone getting out there and selling himself or herself. We're typically a friendly lot here, at least to people we don't have personal beef with! So with that, unless some mean person has something specifically against you, most people are not ignored! The internet is a big place. Each person's free time is limited. Even on the RPC, there are a lot of threads, a lot of posts, a lot of people, and only so much time to absorb it all, even less type responses to them all.

 

In the interest of time and sanity, people skim over content and only respond to the things that really catch their eye. Some things may not catch someone's interest. Some things might have piqued someone's interest, but the person may have accidentally overlooked it. Some threads may have caught someone's eye, but were posted while the person was offline and by the time they browse the RPC, the thread is long since buried and they never see it.

 

Don't expect people to come to you. Go to them. There's this strange double-standard where many of us (and I've been guilty of this many of times before, myself) expect everyone to come to us and bring role-play to us a silver platter, yet we do not do the same for others (because, can you blame us, why would we?). If everyone has this mentality, no one will ever role-play with anyone because we're all waiting for someone else to approach us first.

 

I understand some people are shy and want to remain a role-play wallflower, and that's okay! But if you're not happy about the amount of role-play you are receiving, it's up to you to stop being a wallflower and change that. Blaming others for not approaching you won't solve the problem, and actually makes you less approachable to others.

 

I will contradict my earlier statement and say that some posts are intentionally ignored by others--posts that are negative. If you frequently complain about not getting role-play or have a very negative tone about that, people may consider you someone pessimistic and not fun to interact with, someone who may feel entitled to recognition from others, someone selfish and somewhat lazy, etc. These assumptions may not be accurate, but there's sufficient grounds for people to make them. They will happen. People are attracted to positivity and enthusiasm. Turn that "Why does no RP with me?? :(" to "I'd really like to find some people to role-play with! :)" It's okay to feel down sometimes, it's okay to vent, but ultimately it's not doing you any favors in this scenario

 

If you want to help others find role-play, be a kind person and reach out to them. Find some poor soul who's hurting for role-play and deliver it to them! However, you're one of the poor unfortunate souls, don't wait for some kindly person to rescue you. Walk up to someone in the Quicksand. Go to an RP event. Shoot a message to that "popular" role-player you admire. Respond to that poor RP-starved fellow you see moping around the forums. Take the initiative to find role-play for yourself. You may be surprised to find very few people will outright reject or ignore you (at least if you don't take every lack of response as a rejection--some people don't see your messages, some people forget to respond, sometimes the game eats messages, etc.). When people do respond, you still have to tackle the hurdle of setting up something and finding a time you're both free, which doesn't always pan out before at least one side of the party gets tired of playing message-tag, but that's why it's good to throw a lot of stuff at the wall and see what sticks.

 

Don't message just one person, have no luck, and get discouraged. Keep trying. Keep reaching out to people. Keep pushing. Don't take rejection or avoidance personally. It's not just you. You aren't undesirable. All the "popular" people faced the same problems at first (and they still might outside their normal group of friends, large as it may be!)--they just kept pushing until they broke into a social circle and made some friends.

[Desu Nee]

I really have nothing to say that you haven't said already. I'm not popular, and being away made me lose a lot of opportunities for rp, but I AM planning to catch up. I don't think I even have a definitive clique really. But overrall, excellent post as always Faye, have a cookie

 

[Faye]

I really have nothing to say that you haven't said already. I'm not popular, and being away made me lose a lot of opportunities for rp, but I AM planning to catch up. I don't think I even have a definitive clique really. But overrall, excellent post as always Faye, have a cookie

 

 

Thank you! ;A; I accept baked goods for any and every occasion!

[Tiergan]

I was going to post this in the rant thread, but I felt like this was a more appropriate place. It's actually all about my frustrations as a perceived 'popular' person, so I apologise if this is not a good place for me to piggyback onto the discussion, Faye.

 

I know folks have established in the other thread that removing the reputation number won't accomplish anything, but for my part - there was actually a stretch of time where I really, really resented having a high number.

 

A lot of people in the community know who I am, but I'm sure most of you also know it's not because I got to RP with everyone. It's because I painted a ton of portraits in order to help scrape by during a really dark time where it was incredibly difficult making ends meet. I was having trouble paying rent and buying food. I only had an FFXIV subscription because I had my subscription renewal set to 6-month blocks and I was/still am somewhere in the middle of that block. I lost a considerable amount of weight. I was and still am incredibly appreciative to each person who bought artwork and wanted to buy even more artwork, because without all of you, I literally would not have survived the end of 2014.

 

However, I've noticed people treat me differently now than I was before when I was just another catman-player derping around the forums. I've had people say they're intimidated and scared to speak to me because I'm 'well-known'. I've had people assume I must have my finger in every RP pie on the server or that I must be BFFS with every single "big-name" I have painted. I've had folks try to RP with me purely for my 'status' assuming that if they RPed with me, they'd magically get the keys to the RP castle, and then seem irritated when that didn't happen. As though I was holding out on them somehow. I've had people get resentful when I kept having to push back RPing with them for the first time because of real life slaughtering me in ways I had no control over.

 

I haven't painted any new artwork in months. I'm kind of scared of doing it again in the future. I had no idea how people who only joined very recently determine I must be popular or where they hear it from as I only regularly get to RP with maybe 5 users of on this website, and some of them do not post actively on here. For a while, I assumed it must have been the big rep number, and so there were many times I almost sent a PM to Freelance to just knock mine down back to zero.

 

I enjoy meeting new people. In previous MMOs, I made massive server events just so that I could engage with a ton of new folks every single time. I've always been very open to scheduling out RP with people who request it and it's exciting interacting with a brand new character. But lately that excitement is slowly turning into anxiousness. I'm scared of NOT accepting every single request to RP with me for the first time ever and work to squeeze people in often at the expense of my own free time and comfort. I'm afraid people will label me as someone who is a known member of the community that secretly just wants to stay in some exclusionary RP clique.

 

The reality of it is that I don't actually get that much RP or even much playtime. The people I do get to RP with more regularly are folks that were drawn to me from earlier RPs I managed to do before my life got thrown out of whack, because I like making multi-person story arcs framed in a way that makes it very easy to pull in anyone. However. those take a lot of time to create and it also takes time to draw folks in. Time I no longer have.

 

My life has been consumed by trying to make a very drastic career change so I won't have to be terrified of starving to death this year. I don't have as much free time as I used to. I get sick very often because of the stress. I tried to expand the number of folks I RP with by creating a massive over-ambitious story arc -- but it hit a wall because of said drastic career change swallowing up all of my time. I know some people on these forums can attest to the fact that there were long periods of time where I only got to log in once or twice a week.

 

I love this community. It is literally the best RP community I've ever had the pleasure of being in out of many, many MMO RP communities I've been in. I want to keep coming to the RPC, being active participant in it, and hopefully finding RP with people both old and new.

 

However, it is really exhausting and draining seeing the constant stream of people painting the 'popular' folks as exclusionary assholes who don't want to RP with anyone and keep ignoring everyone. I know I might not even register on the list of folks they might be thinking of. I'm probably just reading too deeply between the lines. But the brushstrokes people are painting with are very broad. Unless every single 'popular' person posts up a veritable novel detailing everything going on in their lives right now like I have in this post -- no one has any idea what each person is actually going through and whether there are significant barriers getting in the way of them welcoming and drawing in new people as much as they would like.

 

They could be struggling with depression and don't want to RP with new folks until they figure out how to manage it. They could be sick with a physical illness that makes it hard for them to find the energy to RP as much as they would like. They could have limited time in their day and can only really devote time to FFXIV in small chunks. Or they could be working hours and hours and hours trying to scrape the money together to pay rent.

 

Until you know the situation of every single 'popular' person on the board, perhaps its time folks talked less about the 'popular' people keep ignoring folks and simply talk about how people in a general sense appear to be ignoring folks.

 

Perhaps its time we figure out a way to work around the popular folks that appear to be ignoring others. Because if I can find RP without RPing with 97% of the users on this forum, and I found that RP before I created my commission thread and was thrust unwittingly into the 'popular' crowd - it is very possible to find RP without them. I did not need popular people to find people to play with when I started - and if a lot of them are like me? They probably didn't have the keys to the RP castle either.

 

I'm going to be stepping away from the RPC for a while. I'll likely come back during Heavensward. Good luck to you all.

[Faye]

However, I've noticed people treat me differently now than I was before when I was just another catman-player derping around the forums. I've had people say they're intimidated and scared to speak to me because I'm 'well-known'. I've had people assume I must have my finger in every RP pie on the server or that I must be BFFS with every single "big-name" I have painted. I've had folks try to RP with me purely for my 'status' assuming that if they RPed with me, they'd magically get the keys to the RP castle, and then seem irritated when that didn't happen. As though I was holding out on them somehow. I've had people get resentful when I kept having to push back RPing with them for the first time because of real life slaughtering me in ways I had no control over.

 

No apologies needed, Tiergan, this is the perfect place for it! I quoted this specific paragraph because it really rang true for me. I tried not to delve too deep in my story in the initial post because I wanted it to be a general statement of advice, but to elaborate a little on my own experience, my previous MMO was my first MMO. I started playing it during its closed beta, and its role-play community--and the server's community in general--was really really small.

 

At the time, I was neither going to school nor working for personal/medical reasons, my boyfriend was going to school full time, and all my RL friends and family were 2+ hours away. Since it was my first MMO, I had yet to meet any friends and role-play partners. I was suffering from really bad depression and social anxiety I hadn't yet seen to get treated at the time, so in short, I had a ton of free time and I poured myself into the game.

 

I made friends with everyone. I chatted with everyone, RPers and PvErs alike. I role-played with everyone. I was no stranger to goofing around in the global chat. My boyfriend and I made a role-play guild together, which got passed to me when he got bored with the game. And then something really weird happened--I became "popular." My name was suddenly tossed around with the words "server celebrity." Being so active in such a small community, people took notice of me pretty easily. And it was great at first! I met lots of people to hang and role-play with, I had lots of friends!

 

Then I got "fans." People would send me mail telling me they admired me, they'd cheer me on, or someone would whisper a member of my guild to tell them how "lucky" they are they get to talk to me all the time. It was.. flattering, but strange, and kind of uncomfortable. Then, I started getting the, "I want to role-play with you, but I'm too intimidated," messages. Those were still flattering in a way but... really just made me feel sad. I didn't consider myself unapproachable. I was always willing to role-play with anyone, even the people whose posts often made me cringe. Why be afraid of me? It baffled me, and made me sort of resentful that the popularity that first got me friends was now pushing people away from me.

 

And then, I got hatemail, I'd messages about me in public chats like I wasn't a real person there capable of reading them. I usually try not to take someone disliking me personally because they may have a decent enough reason, but what confused me was that I didn't recognize these names. These weren't people I had spoken to at all, ever. When I spoke to them, or when others would speak to them on my behalf, they even admitted as much themselves. "Well, Faye always seems..." or "Well, I heard that Faye..." were always the answers given, and weird rumors began to fly about me and every male character I role-play with more than once "dating IRL" and how I "left my RL boyfriend" for them.

 

When I came to XIV, I actually tried to keep a low profile at first. I wanted to leave all that behind me. Unfortunately, I didn't really go to any great lengths to hide my identity, and not long after launch people would send /tells to my RP partner with nonsense like, "You mean Fae from TERA? I heard that she..." My "reputation" had followed me to another game. At that point, I stopped caring about keeping a low profile. I realized just how small the entire MMO RP community really is. It didn't matter anymore. But rumors flying and people who've never even taken the time to speak with me gossiping and forming judgments stings no matter how hard I try to ignore it and brush it off.

 

I don't want XIV to be like my last MMO. Fortunately, being a larger community, it hasn't gotten that way yet, but all the stigmatizing of the "popular people" and the "old people" really makes me fear it's veering into that territory. I don't know if I fit into either of those categories on the RPC, but whether it's me or someone else, I don't want someone receiving hatemail and being the target of the rumormill simply for being popular.

 

Most people didn't ask to be "popular." Most people didn't do it on purpose. Most people don't even realize it. Many may not even enjoy it. Our society tends to dehumanize celebrities--it's why it's so much easier to send hatemail or write cruel things about them than actual people you may know. Please don't do that to people here. We're all still human, and fairly normal ones at that. The "popular" people here are no different than anyone else, they just probably have a little more time on their hands to make posts and talk to people.

[Magellan]

I'm gonna piggyback on top of Tiergan's piggybacking (oink oink) and just say this:

 

I'm not even popular, and I can understand where Tier is coming from.

 

I used to be on the other side of the fence: a new rper, in a strange new environment, thinking to myself: omg! pit of despair! why don't these popular folks wanna rp with me!??? And I would see other new rpers have the same struggle, and churn, and churn, and churn inside.

 

Until I decided to do something about it. I started to have rp classes and events SPECIFICALLY for new rpers. And because of it.... became popular (of sorts). And then... aha! I saw things from the other side.

 

Recently, I opened up my character Claire as a sort of 'making connections' character personified. She would meet with your character, make notes on their interests, and try to set them up with other characters who have similar interests. It was great! She had all kinds of rp! Always meeting someone new, trying to get that connection for them, reveling when it succeeded, trying harder when it didn't.... until I began to notice something.

 

Claire no longer had time for Claire. She was so busy connecting everyone else, she hadn't connected with anyone herself. All her friends... barely got to rp with them. It left me feeling drained, burnt out.... and like I had separated Claire from actual IC friendships and relationships. And now... I'm on a break from her until I can sort her out again!

 

Cliques really aren't a bad thing. And yes, I see countless new people make the same mistake many of us have when we first start rping.... instead of going out and making a clique of their own, they keep throwing themselves against the wall trying to break into a pre-existing clique. Find your own posse, gang. You can do it! I swear! I very much enjoy meeting new people, and am, in fact, quietly trying to do just that on my new character.

 

...but I'm doing so organically. I'm no longer going to schedule rp out days in advance, only to have to keep putting people off because RL comes up or... *shocker* ... I just don't feel like rping that day. 

 

And I'm going to take the time to forge deeper, more steadfast friendships with my new character. Cuz honestly, both she and I deserve it. She should have a small group of people she wants to spend lots of time with, and I'm going to give it to her. I look forward to her adventure, and maybe seeing some of you in it

[Michikyou]

*looks at super long Verbose posts and assumes that they could of just used bullet points to make things easier to read for us dyslexic members of the RPC, it took me 30 minutes to read one post.*

 

As a social scientist, I disagree. Cliques in my opinion -are- bad. They are blatant examples of social stratification and inequality of the others. 

 

However I also think that being part of a clique is also damaging to ones reputation. Cliques for -anyone- are hard to approach and give a very stand-offish feeling to the members involved. They often have their own plots and ideas and when theya re together it is hard to veen be noticed with a post or not.

 

Not to mention half the roleplay in 'cliques' are not publically accessible for those who might want to join in. 

 

For instance. I saw a few events going on by HoD in Ul'dah and Gridania involving massive fights. However it felt very very inclusive of only HoD members and felt that they had 'claimed' the area for their scene. Be this the intention or not, by only having guild members it felt like it was a 'cool kids only club' event.

[Val]

I had server popularity at one point. Back when I played vanilla WoW, I managed to make a ton of friends on the forums simply because I worked in a call center and would always make constructive posts. I never quite expected it to cause me to gain server popularity. After all, I was just a 19-20 year old kid with nothing better to do while trying to explain to someone how to fix their modem/whatever. This netted me a bunch of unexpected fame in the game from both Alliance and Horde faction (as I played on Silver Hand). I was Alliance and made multiple OOC friends on the Horde faction. Back then, everyone just spoke to everyone and it was great. We would set up cross-faction RP channels using AIM (lol) and other chat programs. My character became quite notorious for falling in love with a troll! It was entertaining.

 

My popularity became something of an issue, though. My RL friends didn't quite understand how or why I became popular and didn't realize that I really didn't care. They grew relatively jealous of it and we all eventually stopped talking. Of course, I'd only known them for a couple of years at the time so it wasn't a big loss, but at the time I couldn't quite understand what I had done and why I had became that.

 

Faye is entirely correct. It was my presence. It was my desire to RP with anyone that approached me. I was always around because, at the time, I woke up, went to work, came home and played games all day. I had nothing else to do and had little care to do anything else otherwise. 

 

It's kind of like a giant snowball, really. Once it starts rolling, it keeps getting bigger and bigger until it becomes overwhelming. I joined an incredibly notorious guild that was known for ganking players and whatnot, but they were good at PvE and I was good at PvE and I wanted to clear content. We did a lot of server firsts together, but I constantly received messages such as "Why are you with them?" or "I didn't think you could ever stoop so low." I thought to myself, "Who cares? I just want to play the game. What does it matter who I PvE with so long as I remain the same and continue to RP and include everyone?"

 

After a lot of drama I eventually bailed and played on Moon Guard for a while, then more or less quit altogether. I game hopped for a while, tried a few different places to RP on, and eventually landed on TERA where I was lucky enough to meet my current RP partner that I've had for a couple of years now.

 

When I moved to XIV, much like her, I decided to just keep low key and RP with whoever. I'm not entirely certain if I am considered popular, nor do I really let the fact bother me. I'm just here. If people want to hang/chat/talk at me, all they need to is ask me for my Skype or let me know they want to do something and I'll do it (provided I'm free). I don't really try to hide myself or keep to myself, and I do actively seek RP. Some nights it's perfectly easy to find RP, while others (especially if I'm on an unknown alt) it's ridiculously impossible (as some unlucky individuals I vent to know).

 

There are also times when the game and its community just bothers me a bit too much and I take a step back, which is when I go a few days without posting. I'm a firm believer in that when the game stops becoming fun/a game and starts becoming stressful/a chore, it's time to stop playing and take a step back. I don't feel like there's any shame in it. It happens. Lately, when I see big storms coming in certain threads, I try to just check out of them unless I am sure I can offer some sort of constructive posts.

 

I agree that cliques aren't wholly bad. In fact, I welcome them. I enjoy having groups of like-minded individuals to talk to. Even in my current FC, I have my clique of friends that I easily relate to. We often play other games together and joke around and just have fun. There are also members of my FC that I simply can not relate to. Does that mean I hate them? No. When I run events or RP, I try to include them--even if I don't necessarily agree with them or their style of roleplay. I'm here to have fun with as many people as I can, and excluding individuals simply based on a difference of beliefs will not only deter that, but I feel that doing enough of it will cause a ton of problems in the community as a whole.

[Faye]

*looks at super long Verbose posts and assumes that they could of just used bullet points to make things easier to read for us dyslexic members of the RPC, it took me 30 minutes to read one post.*

 

As a social scientist, I disagree. Cliques in my opinion -are- bad. They are blatant examples of social stratification and inequality of the others. 

 

However I also think that being part of a clique is also damaging to ones reputation. Cliques for -anyone- are hard to approach and give a very stand-offish feeling to the members involved. They often have their own plots and ideas and when theya re together it is hard to veen be noticed with a post or not.

 

Not to mention half the roleplay in 'cliques' are not publically accessible for those who might want to join in. 

 

For instance. I saw a few events going on by HoD in Ul'dah and Gridania involving massive fights. However it felt very very inclusive of only HoD members and felt that they had 'claimed' the area for their scene. Be this the intention or not, by only having guild members it felt like it was a 'cool kids only club' event.

 

I'm sorry you feel that way! However, the only actual fight scene we have ever had for a company plot that was outside of a dungeon, Skype RP, forum RP, or at the FC house was actually done in La Noscea, or a recent small event in Coerthas. Anything else that may have happened was spontaneous or for a member's personal plot, not an actual official FC event, and therefore relatively small and purposefully very controlled for the sake of ease and simplicity, which takes me back to...

 

Some RP events and storylines can be difficult to involve others in' date=' so realistically you can't really heavily include every bystander who wants to be involved. [/quote']

 

Had you asked, I'm sure they would have done their best to involve you, or politely explain why it would be difficult to work in your character. Which then goes back to simply reaching out to others rather than standing on the sidelines hoping they'll reach out to you. We'll have to agree to disagree on all points!

[g0ne]

Desu already gave you a cookie.

 

I can give you a parrot? 

 

*Looks at Peaches* :3

 

She's really sweet! Kind of like a cookie! (You can't eat her though! )

 

--

 

Honestly speaking, I've never thought of the popular people as villains. I mentioned that I look up to all the well known people here on the RPC, because well, they've been around a lot more than me, and therefore they are more experienced. 

 

And yes, naturally, when you're established and well known, it's difficult to get in touch with new people, because you've already got so many people to commit to (am I making any sense here? ).

 

But that doesn't mean new people should be discouraged from contacting the aforementioned ones. Like, go bug them. Do it! Do it, I say!! 

 

:bouncy:

 

And if they don't reply back instantly, they may be busy (or like me, have very bad memory). Doesn't mean they're ignoring you. I personally tend to keep poking until I get a response. (I have felt like a complete and absolute bother when I do this, don't be mad at me! Or get annoyed at me. :<) Or just try again later.

[Aife]

I have to agree with Faye about the disliking the villainising of the "popular" people. As far as I can tell all the "popular" people generally organise events and are more extroverted role players who go about role playing with others in the community.

 

As for the rp event that Hotaru mentioned, generally I keep personal story plots to group chat since, for the most part, I don't actively want to involve people or make people who want to involve themselves feel left out. My last major arc with Lacey involved some potentially lore bending/breaking events and I really had no interest in debating lore with a random role player who may walk up. 

 

For me, my "clique" is a group I feel comfortable role playing with. As an introverted person with trust issues, I don't feel comfortable interacting with a large amount of people or having them involved in my plots, especially with the constant lore arguing I've seen here and experienced in game. I'd rather have my role play be enjoyable and fun for everyone involved rather then spending hours debating lore. 

 

I don't know if other role players feel this way but I think other role players need to be mindful that some people aren't comfortable with huge social groups or don't take easily to strangers like myself.

[Faye]

Desu already gave you a cookie.

 

I can give you a parrot? 

 

*Looks at Peaches* :3

 

She's really sweet! Kind of like a cookie! (You can't eat her though! )

 

--

 

Honestly speaking, I've never thought of the popular people as villains. I mentioned that I look up to all the well known people here on the RPC, because well, they've been around a lot more than me, and therefore they are more experienced. 

 

And yes, naturally, when you're established and well known, it's difficult to get in touch with new people, because you've already got so many people to commit to (am I making any sense here? ).

 

But that doesn't mean new people should be discouraged from contacting the aforementioned ones. Like, go bug them. Do it! Do it, I say!! 

 

:bouncy:

 

And if they don't reply back instantly, they may be busy (or like me, have very bad memory). Doesn't mean they're ignoring you. I personally tend to keep poking until I get a response. (I have felt like a complete and absolute bother when I do this, don't be mad at me! Or get annoyed at me. :<) Or just try again later.

 

Furry or feathered creatures are fine substitutes! Typically less tasty, but much more cute...

 

Yes, you are making sense! I agree, and tried to get across the same in my post.

[Michikyou]

I have to agree with Faye about the disliking the villainising of the "popular" people. As far as I can tell all the "popular" people generally organise events and are more extroverted role players who go about role playing with others in the community.

 

As for the rp event that Hotaru mentioned, generally I keep personal story plots to group chat since, for the most part, I don't actively want to involve people or make people who want to involve themselves feel left out. My last major arc with Lacey involved some potentially lore bending/breaking events and I really had no interest in debating lore with a random role player who may walk up. 

 

For me, my "clique" is a group I feel comfortable role playing with. As an introverted person with trust issues, I don't feel comfortable interacting with a large amount of people or having them involved in my plots, especially with the constant lore arguing I've seen here and experienced in game. I'd rather have my role play be enjoyable and fun for everyone involved rather then spending hours debating lore. 

 

I don't know if other role players feel this way but I think other role players need to be mindful that some people aren't comfortable with huge social groups or don't take easily to strangers like myself.

 

I think thats fine having a group you're comfortable with - but having massive events in public places and making others feel they aren't welcome are two separate issues.

 

I mean - Certainly, you need a stage for your roleplay like that and if its personal plot that is happening somewhere off the map, then sure, party chat it up. But a gathering of 10-20 people in one area, roleplaying their event with no regard of others who could happen to just walk into a city state is another.

[V'aleera]

As a social scientist, I disagree. Cliques in my opinion -are- bad. They are blatant examples of social stratification and inequality of the others.

While it may certainly be debated whether or not cliques can be inherently good, until such a time that all RPers everywhere agree completely on all lore and interpretations of lore (see: White mages, realism vs. fantasticism etc.) they will, unfortunately, be necessary.

[Faye]

I've honestly never seen any large or closed off plot-based events happening in large cities or well-populated areas. Most people have enough sense to do that in /party chat or far off corners of the map outside of town. It seems like a very hypothetical concern, since I haven't seen it happen in XIV or my previous MMO. Sure, it would be a problematic thing, but I've never seen it happen, which isn't to say that it doesn't, just that it must not occur on any large scale (unless I'm just really really unobservant).

[Maril]

I quite agree, Cliques aren't bad when you manage them well - thinking from a guildleaders perspective here. I actively make shake-em-up events in my own guild where, unbeknownst to my members, I try to put them in situations where they get to roleplay with people that I've noticed they usually do not RP with. When they go bad it does spark a lot of problems though, and can have some nasty results like collapsing in on themselves in a mass-burnout, isolating them from other players for so long that once someone stops playing they feel lost, heck it can even cause smaller guild splits. If you can't introduce someone new to a clique then that's a sure sign that there's a problem which needs to be adressed in some regard. It's difficult being a new player in a guild and that's something I personally have a big focus on, and sometimes it only takes a little bit to solve. 

I also think that cliques are completely unavoidable in RP communities, and there's always going to be bad ones around as well. But trying to do anything about it on a community perspective is.. Really I would just stick to making sure things are fine in the FC you're in. Don't worry about breaking in too much, I'd even say if you try too hard to break into a clique you may end up with less results than if you were to just go about your stuff - sometimes new cliques can form around you where you're in. And you might not really notice it's a clique either, which is also a thing for a lot of people.  

 

Something I've also noticed a bit recently and - I really don't want to step on peoples toes - is the amount of talking people do about this supposed one big popular group of posters that exist on the RPC. I won't lie, even I have been under the assumption that such a group might exist but, after being here for so long I can more clearly see that there isn't just one big group, and actually some of the most popular posters don't seem to interact outside of the RPC. At least for what is visible. Anyways, my point with this is that the more you talk about and big up this group of populars, the more power you actually add to it and the more you give it the possibility to actually manifest. I know not giving a fuck can be hard, but that's really the only way that something like that really can get solved.. When you stop regarding those groups with awe/hate/starstruck-like levels of respect/upsetness they automatically become just regular people that post, sometimes a lot. It's also something I can imagine most of the targets for this attention are wanting to feel like. I by no means consider myself popular, but I've had whispers from people recently that - whilst nice, good intentions and all - creeped me out a little bit because these whispers seemed to suggest they'd seen me on the RPC a lot and placed me on a high pedestal because of it. To which I'm kind of like "let me down". It's not nice when others put you in a place where they assume you can't be reached. 

 

I used to be really shy about posting here, I still am to some extend due to certain experiences, but it changed it for me when I stopped thinking that "Oh I can't jump in here because I'm just a new person and no one knows me" etc. Now I actually take comfort in the fact that most of my posts do not get responses, they sometimes get's +1's, and I've gotten just generally confident in that I can voice my opinion to some extend about some things. Which is very nice because I love talking about RP Like I have and I could go on about it for six hours in a skypecall. I'd encourage new people to post more anyday, just as long as they're nice about it and don't see lack of responses as the community ignoring you.

 

And Tiergan, I'm with you on fleeing from reputations. I was selected as a community ambassador in my past game, and I was very vocal about defending the server I was playing on (the only RP one for EU'ers at the time) when it went under the threat of getting closed down. Despite a 100-page thread it was shut down in the end, and I got shifted onto a server where there apparently was a lot of people waiting to go "HA-HA" at me. It got too much and despite leading a guild there, I passed on the leadership and left for FFXIV. I loved being seen as someone that people could PM for help, but the other side of the coin is something that makes me not want to do that ever again. It's horrible when you get driven away from something you enjoy.

[Val]

I have to agree with Faye about the disliking the villainising of the "popular" people. As far as I can tell all the "popular" people generally organise events and are more extroverted role players who go about role playing with others in the community.

 

As for the rp event that Hotaru mentioned, generally I keep personal story plots to group chat since, for the most part, I don't actively want to involve people or make people who want to involve themselves feel left out. My last major arc with Lacey involved some potentially lore bending/breaking events and I really had no interest in debating lore with a random role player who may walk up. 

 

For me, my "clique" is a group I feel comfortable role playing with. As an introverted person with trust issues, I don't feel comfortable interacting with a large amount of people or having them involved in my plots, especially with the constant lore arguing I've seen here and experienced in game. I'd rather have my role play be enjoyable and fun for everyone involved rather then spending hours debating lore. 

 

I don't know if other role players feel this way but I think other role players need to be mindful that some people aren't comfortable with huge social groups or don't take easily to strangers like myself.

 

I think thats fine having a group you're comfortable with - but having massive events in public places and making others feel they aren't welcome are two separate issues.

 

 

As Faye already pointed out, I can't honestly recall any time the company has had any sort of massive RP event in a public place. If you want to discuss this matter privately, I'd be more than happy to do so. I'd prefer to take it up that way than publicly on a forum that is meant to spread positivity

[Faye]

I think cliques are inevitable if, for no other reason, than that it's typically the nature of role-play. Most of us role-play to find friends, lovers, family, enemies, allies, rivals, etc. for our character. To get these relationships, we have to role-play with these people more than once to establish a bond and a story. And often, we want our characters to have these relationships for the sake of finding other characters to ride out the storyline we have planned for our character alongside him or her. These become the people we role-play with most often, and therefore likely get to know best OOC. If every major plot point in your character's life was endured with a different stranger by his/her side each time rather than people your character actually knows and has interacted with on one more occasion, your character's story arc may still remain overall the same, but I think it would feel shallow knowing that no one else go to see the majority of your character's story IC or OOC to share the experience with you.

[Zael Aders]

I've always tried to treat cliques as a mirror of RL. Just how many of us here have time to be social butterflies and meet someone new every day? How many of us -wants- to do that? From what I've seen and heard around the game and in forums, a lot of RPers have social difficulties and have only a small group of friends in the real world that we actively communicate with. I don't think it's wrong if the world in-game is like that for us too.

 

I've heard a lot of promotion of this whole 'IC and OOC line' thing, but at the heart of it, not all of us are able to switch into a polar opposite of ourselves as soon as we log in and be able to confidently welcome strangers into our circles of people we trust. Kudos to those who manage to do it though, because as much as it can be frightening to have a stranger try to RP and become a part of what we want to cherish and protect, I'm sure the people trying to involve themselves are feeling similar emotions.

 

I'm just glad that this forum has developed so well to help people find like-minded RPers. A big thank you for those who commit their time into doing that. Ultimately, I think that anyone who tries to blame someone else for having a group of friends and wanting to hold onto that stability in their life should just try to keep a cool head. Just think about how you would feel IRL.

[OttoVann]

Im willing to be popular so that others may rest.

[Faye]

Im willing to be popular so that others may rest.

 

Otto #1, vote for Otto, President of the RPC 2015

[Nebbs]

I am not one for long posts or reading long posts it's a dyslexia thing and many many years living with it. So being brief..

 

People will group together over a many things, and that is all well and good. The downside for me is when they start to judge those outside their self created set of norms. There is also the reverse where those outside see a collective and judge it based on assumptions.

 

Answer.. look for similarities and positives not the differences and negative. Focus on what brings us together and not what pushed us apart.

 

We are all part of the RP clique for a start!

We are all part of the FFXIV & Balmung clique!

... and so on.

 

Personally, I play to RP and the game is just something to-do in the gaps. If there was no RP I would not be here. For a lot of times I feel lonely I don't feel I am part of any clique and hostly I tend to be the one who goes for those people on the fringes to get them involved. 

 

What does work for me is offering to help people, listening to their ideas and just making yourself available. That way you meet people and make friends. Though exclusive partnership RP while having its up side also can mean many people are "lost" to that (I have been there myself and don't see anything wrong with it).

 

I will happily not run roulette and daily tribes to come help someone RP and the odd dungeon, just hit me up I don't bite and I can adapt to many styles and stories. Or just for a chat.

[Branson Thorne]

I certainly would not say I was popular or in a clique on the forums until a few days ago. Apparently when you agree with Warren Castille on a heated discussion on the forums, you get thrown into the "popular crowd" by all the people you disagree with.

 

So thanks for elevating me to stardom, oh Warren buddy!

[Oscare]

Cliques and popularity happens. Wanna know why?

 

Because there are real people with real personalities behind the screen. Of course like minded individuals will clump together. But that's okay. There's no reason to panic over not being in the clique. 

 

I can't really add anymore to this post that hasn't already been said.

[Alothia]

Cliques aren't bad, as they provide a sense of community and home to RPers.

 

Popularity isn't bad as long as you use it as a medium for good. it's like anything else.

 

Positivity is something that I think we have all needed a heavy dose of in the past couple of days.

 

 

I guess I'm part of the "old guard" here. I've been playing since 1.0, and have taken a couple of breaks along the way.

 

In 1.0, I was well known, but I wouldn't say I was popular. I had a longstanding working RP relationships with some of the other linkshells, went and was involved in other people's events, and tried to foster relationships within the community. My linkshell was a little unconventional. We were known for our members being random and spastic, but it worked for us. We weren't always like that, though, and we did have many events that we were involved in that were serious and brought about character development.

 

In the interim between 1.0 and 2.0, there was a lot of RP and RP discussion here on the RPC. Everyone was meeting everyone new, and there was a fantastic sense of community. But as the launch got closer, tensions grew higher. (It's a lot like what the RPC is going through now).

 

When 2.0 hit, RP thrived for me for a time, and then some personal issues pushed me away from the game. I'm finally back, and find that RP is a little difficult to find, but there are a lot of events that encourage people to show up. I've attended some of these, and I think they're awesome...it's just a little difficult to get lost in the crowd.

 

If anything, I think that opening smaller events is probably a good thing to foster a sense of community. Walking into a giant event is really intimidating for a new person who doesn't know anyone. It's intimidating to me, and I pretty much know what I'm doing.

 

I don't really know where I'm going with this rant. Just...realize that popular people aren't to blame. Cliques aren't to blame. Scale of events...might be to blame. I think we all just need to reach out more. And be happy about it. Don't take any of it as a personal attack. Use it to better your habits, not bring you down.