If you can't be nice to people outside the RPC, you don't belong on the RPC.

[Enteris]

 

 

I think it's because a of a recent influx of people trying to say "this is my personal blog/diary/journal" to get away with "PSA: I THINK THIS PERSON IS BAD AND EVERYONE SHOULD HATE AND AVOID THAT PERSON TOO!" posts. ...it's not a personal piece of writing when it's literally being used to promote negative behavior. ...We're all adults (or close enough in the border cases) to know how to be respectable people. I don't see the need to publicly post something that will be forever indexed and searchable (by let's just say Google for speed) forever.

 

I'll admit that I've seen a lot of what I can only call witch hunts (sorry, but it applies) wherein a person is accused of something fairly awful, and while there is no proof, they are essentially labeled the antichrist, with people exhorting others to publicly shun them, etc.

 

It's one reason why I avoid Tumblr in general (tho I have an account there), and why I tend to look at people who are seriously into Tumblr with a squinty eyes.  I know there are many people on Tumblr who are nothing like that, but it's really hard to tell just in general.

I actually had this happen to me back in the beginning times of Path of Oschon. Former members apparently felt I treated them unfairly in regards to a number of things and decided to rant about it on their tumblrs... Stating things such as avoid Path of Oschon, the leader Raandal Bennett, his wife Daphine Rysen, etc. etc.... Then a bunch of their tumblr buddies decided to raise their pitchforks and "spread the word".

 

I was called things like masogynistic because I told my wife to "go make me a sammich, woman!" In /fc chat. Even though these members had direct interaction with one of my characters that was a very empowered and strong woman in a position of power. But, you know, playing around with my -wife- in fc chat was a big no no. 

 

Apparently I was also making fun of their characters and the like. Very anti-gay (their words), even though I have male and female characters that delve in such activities.

 

Blah blah blah. At the end of the day, it doesn't really bother me because they're faceless names to me that are just looking for a reason to be offended/upset. I have no quantifiable proof that what they did effected our recruitment in one way or another and, honestly, I don't care because the people we DID get into the company were great and many wonderful memories were had.

 

The biggest thing that bothered me, really, was the fact that they never once took the time to talk to me (or my wife) about the issues they had.... that were apparently building up over weeks to months.... and instead opted to write their rant on tumblr.

 

At the end of the day... I moved on. This is still in my mind, not because it bothers me, but because it's ridiculous how, for lack of a better term, silly people can be. Like I said, even with them doing this I still had great times and wonderful memories made with all of the people that did join and interact with our company.

 

Tl;dr: I, and my wife and company, have been the target of one of these "witch hunts". It's easy enough to just shake it off and move on knowing full well that the silly people are only hurting themselves by missing out on the great times I personally had.

 

Edit:

2m-e4PgiVfM

 

[Aoi Fukiku]

My two gil. Quick and simple.

 

No one should ever try and tell another they don't belong somewhere. If people are venting about the RPC off site then I say let them. If they are venting about people from the site off site then let them. Even if they are talking about me I wouldn't care. If they need to vent I say let them. If they trash talk someone or something on a site and not to their face then it shows their character.

[g0ne]

Okay, let's all be honest here. We're humans. We're prone to feeling negative emotions and letting it get to us. It happens. 

 

But the best thing you can do, and this is more beneficial to you than anyone else, is to just let it go. Forget it. Done. You can vent about it and ponder over it, and then let it go. Or just simply go 'meh, whatever' and let it go. If it really gets to you, maybe vent to someone really close, and then let it go. 

 

I'm referring to people who get bashed on. I won't refer to people who like posting negative stuff (I don't know who or why, like I said, I don't even know what created this thread). For those who get hurt or are targets, just forget it. Forget it and move on. There will always be people who will have problems with you. It's best to just take a deep breath, get it out of your heart and mind, and move on. 

 

I know it's easier said than done, but once you do it, you'll feel better. And that matters. You have control over yourself only. So keep yourself happy and calm, and everything else will be just fine.

 

What others do is their problem and their business to handle. Not yours. Even if there are people who are against you, there will always be people who are fond of you. Hold your loved ones and true friends and good people close. If you have them, and they know you, doesn't matter what others think. 

 

 

My two SMILE gil.

[Kage]

I'm just thinking about "call-out culture" and then thinking about several things that tumblr/INTERNET~ had that just goes to show how shit spirals

 

1) X-kit guy

2) Joss Whedon and his twitter move

3) That Australian guy who was pictured, shared on Facebook, and labeled a creep because a mom thought he was taking pictures of her kids when he was just trying to be 'cool' for his kids and take a selfie with a cardboard cutout of Darth Vader on May 4

[D'aito Kuji]

I use Tumblr on a daily basis, and I must say that I never notice any drama. Granted, I can't check every single entry from the FFXIV tag, but still, I don't understand where the idea that Tumblr is a dramafest for immature people came from (?_?)

Most of the things I see are people posting screenshots and having fun.

 

As for this case in particular, I can't comment because I don't know what it's about.

 

I usually come here to see the drama.

[111]

Okay, let's all be honest here. We're humans. We're prone to feeling negative emotions and letting it get to us. It happens. 

 

But the best thing you can do, and this is more beneficial to you than anyone else, is to just let it go. Forget it. Done. You can vent about it and ponder over it, and then let it go. Or just simply go 'meh, whatever' and let it go. If it really gets to you, maybe vent to someone really close, and then let it go. 

 

I'm referring to people who get bashed on. I won't refer to people who like posting negative stuff (I don't know who or why, like I said, I don't even know what created this thread). For those who get hurt or are targets, just forget it. Forget it and move on. There will always be people who will have problems with you. It's best to just take a deep breath, get it out of your heart and mind, and move on. 

 

I know it's easier said than done, but once you do it, you'll feel better. And that matters. You have control over yourself only. So keep yourself happy and calm, and everything else will be just fine.

 

What others do is their problem and their business to handle. Not yours. Even if there are people who are against you, there will always be people who are fond of you. Hold your loved ones and true friends and good people close. If you have them, and they know you, doesn't matter what others think. 

 

 

My two SMILE gil.

 

Sorry but the answer to toxic/damaging behavior should never just be to 'suck it up'. If people are acting poorly and it affects myself and communities I enjoy, I'm going to try and figure out how to stop it, or remove its influence.

 

Maybe it can't be stopped, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be addressed.

[Virella]

Tumblr is a place for me were I post semi IC stuff, semi OOC stuff, and random stuff what 95% of the time have to do with FFXIV.

 

Personally I have no need to bring up names, people, their roleplay and what not for if I have issues with them I simply leave them be, or say it out loudly.

People tend to forget that these blogs are just blogs. Some people use them as their mechanic to cool off, others use them strictly IC, others use it for sillyness, others for art, or all of the above.

 

However I must agree that nagging behind people's back on Tumblr is a cowardly thing to do. Surely we do all do it on Skype, LS chat, FC chat or where ever really. But going semi public about it and not giving people the chance to defend them? That I don't like whatsoever, especially due to people being very aware that said person cannot respond back onto them.

 

And I felt this piece of art was a good fit this discussion. No really. This sums up my thoughts about Tumblr for 99% of the non-art, non-ffxiv posts.

 

 

 

[Nebbs]

Did we arrive at "Haters got to hate"

[Hammersmith]

I'm just thinking about "call-out culture" and then thinking about several things that tumblr/INTERNET~ had that just goes to show how shit spirals

 

1) X-kit guy

2) Joss Whedon and his twitter move

3) That Australian guy who was pictured, shared on Facebook, and labeled a creep because a mom thought he was taking pictures of her kids when he was just trying to be 'cool' for his kids and take a selfie with a cardboard cutout of Darth Vader on May 4

Joss Whedon has legit issues.  His failings and the response to them are a completely different kettle of false-equivalency fish compared to the other two who, as I understand it, actual innocents.

[Hammersmith]

Did we arrive at "Haters got to hate"

Yup.

[g0ne]

Okay, let's all be honest here. We're humans. We're prone to feeling negative emotions and letting it get to us. It happens. 

 

But the best thing you can do, and this is more beneficial to you than anyone else, is to just let it go. Forget it. Done. You can vent about it and ponder over it, and then let it go. Or just simply go 'meh, whatever' and let it go. If it really gets to you, maybe vent to someone really close, and then let it go. 

 

I'm referring to people who get bashed on. I won't refer to people who like posting negative stuff (I don't know who or why, like I said, I don't even know what created this thread). For those who get hurt or are targets, just forget it. Forget it and move on. There will always be people who will have problems with you. It's best to just take a deep breath, get it out of your heart and mind, and move on. 

 

I know it's easier said than done, but once you do it, you'll feel better. And that matters. You have control over yourself only. So keep yourself happy and calm, and everything else will be just fine.

 

What others do is their problem and their business to handle. Not yours. Even if there are people who are against you, there will always be people who are fond of you. Hold your loved ones and true friends and good people close. If you have them, and they know you, doesn't matter what others think. 

 

 

My two SMILE gil.

 

Sorry but the answer to toxic/damaging behavior should never just be to 'suck it up'. If people are acting poorly and it affects myself and communities I enjoy, I'm going to try and figure out how to stop it, or remove its influence.

 

Maybe it can't be stopped, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be addressed.

 

I understand. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be addressed. And I'm not saying 'suck it up'. I'm saying that there's no point in holding onto it. Sure, find a way to fix it. Sure, try to remove its influence. But don't let it damage you. Because if that happens, then aren't you letting it be successful?

 

Am I even making any sense?

[Max]

However I must agree that nagging behind people's back on Tumblr is a cowardly thing to do. Surely we do all do it on Skype, LS chat, FC chat or where ever really. But going semi public about it and not giving people the chance to defend them? That I don't like whatsoever, especially due to people being very aware that said person cannot respond back onto them.

 

 

 

 

OF: lol @ picture

 

OT: I have to slightly disagree with you there. Anyone can respond to your posts on tumblr (via reblog) if it's a public posting.

 

I also don't agree with the implication that it's only cowardly if you do it on Tumblr, but fine if you talk smack in linkshells, free company chats, or in skype groups. I mean, it's pretty much the same. You're probably more likely to rile up a server-side mob in a FC/LS than a whiny FFXIV-tagged tumblr post.

[Verad]

There is no problem. I'll stay on the RPC as I please, thank you.

[Warren Castille]

I think it's worth pointing out the difference between venting and making an attack post, though.

 

"God, was Warren drunk? He died to Meteor every time and kept pulling without ready checks. What a stupid jerk!" is venting.

 

"Warren Castille of Balmung is a toxic entity in LotA. He's repeatedly let himself die to easily avoidable mechanics, he kept pulling without informing the group and is just a troll. Vote kick him if you ever see him!" is making an attack post.

 

I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

[Verad]

I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

 

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

[Unnamed Mercenary]

I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

 

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

 

What about when it's hearsay at best?

[Verad]

I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

 

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

 

What about when it's hearsay at best?

 

What mood am I in that day?

[Warren Castille]

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

 

I do agree with you, but I also feel that it's too easy for people to feel justified in making those accusations.

[Unnamed Mercenary]

I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

 

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

 

What about when it's hearsay at best?

 

What mood am I in that day?

 

A White-Knight-y one. Angry. Rageful. But you can't name names, because that'd definitely expose the victims you feel you need to protect.

[Verad]

I think most people attempt to vent, first and foremost. No one likes wasting time! It's reasonable to gripe about someone doing dumb things. The trouble comes about when you decide this person must be systematically shamed and destroyed because they did things you don't like in a video game.

 

Sometimes they have it coming. This is especially true if evidence of predatory behavior is available.

 

What about when it's hearsay at best?

 

What mood am I in that day?

 

A White-Knight-y one. Angry. Rageful. But you can't name names, because that'd definitely expose the victims you feel you need to protect.

 

Then I think I need to post a thread on the RPC about the problem despite the absence of evidence because I'm sure everybody will "know" it's true.

[Virella]

However I must agree that nagging behind people's back on Tumblr is a cowardly thing to do. Surely we do all do it on Skype, LS chat, FC chat or where ever really. But going semi public about it and not giving people the chance to defend them? That I don't like whatsoever, especially due to people being very aware that said person cannot respond back onto them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

OF: lol @ picture

 

OT: I have to slightly disagree with you there. Anyone can respond to your posts on tumblr (via reblog) if it's a public posting.

 

I also don't agree with the implication that it's only cowardly if you do it on Tumblr, but fine if you talk smack in linkshells, free company chats, or in skype groups. I mean, it's pretty much the same. You're probably more likely to rile up a sever-side mob in a FC/LS than a whiny FFXIV-tagged tumblr post.

 

OF: thank you, yes, it is a glorious piece of art ain't it?!

 

OT: Not everyone has a Tumblr though.

 

That said it is still not a nice thing to do. But I'm just not going to be a saint here and go "OH! OOOH! You shouldn't do that!@$!@!!!!!". My point being here we all talk trash at times, however I find it cowardly when you go publicly with it and do not give the chance for the person to respond back. Some people are simply not keeping track of who is stirring what drama (like myself), or simply do not have a Tumblr.

 

Either keep your frustrations behind 'locked doors', keep it private or just address your issues with said person. I'm not going to be mother Theresa here and go "Oh no you are terrible, and shouldn't talk shit behind people's back." because we all do.

[TheLastCandle]

Who is this "Tumblr" person and why are they hating on you? More importantly, why did their parents name them "Tumblr?"

[Kellach Woods]

It's not because people do it that it automatically makes the advice to not do it invalid.

 

I mean, how many smokers you hear saying you shouldn't start 'cause it's bad for you? Does that make the advice invalid?

 

Same thing here - Don't talk shit behind people's backs shouldn't be something we do, but we do it regardless. We often need reminders not to do it because otherwise we'll just treat others like trash and feel validated because a coterie of yes-peeps will be encouraging us every step of the way.

 

That being said, I am terribly disappointed, again, in this community.

[Warren Castille]

That being said, I am terribly disappointed, again, in this community.

 

We'll still save you a seat at the bar.

[Verad]

It's not because people do it that it automatically makes the advice to not do it invalid.

 

I mean, how many smokers you hear saying you shouldn't start 'cause it's bad for you? Does that make the advice invalid?

 

Same thing here - Don't talk shit behind people's backs shouldn't be something we do, but we do it regardless. We often need reminders not to do it because otherwise we'll just treat others like trash and feel validated because a coterie of yes-peeps will be encouraging us every step of the way.

 

That being said, I am terribly disappointed, again, in this community.

 

How might we regain your good graces? How can we turn that mime-frown upside-down?