Dungeon Anxiety

[Griffith!]

Anyone else just really dread the roulette queues? I don't know what it is - the idea of a bunch of strangers relying on my ability to keep them alive, maybe - but I absolutely hate running dungeons.

 

Sometimes you get a real friendly party, y'know? They're polite and nice and give you non-confrontational tips as you go. And then sometimes you get horrible parties full of assholes who just tell you how to do your job every time you lose enmity for half a second. And there is just no way of knowing which one it's going to be because you don't know these people, and it's not like there's an in-game "I think I'm better than you at everything" flag.

 

It's the pressure. I know it's a game, and there's not supposed to be that much pressure, and if it were just me, alone, there wouldn't be. But it's not. It's me and a bunch of people relying on me. I have to preform well, or it's not fun for anyone. It doesn't help that some people wait in queues for half an hour at a time (but not tanks, haha ha... ha).

 

And now I'm at the point in the game where people are starting to take their dungeons very seriously. The dungeons I'm starting on now are harder and people have thus far been less forgiving of mistakes. And it's just not cool when you have to pop an ativan in the middle of a dungeon run because you're starting to have a panic attack. It's rough, man.

 

Anyone else have similar feelings about dungeons, or am I the odd man out?

[Edda]

I can't say I sympathize, but you're definitely not the odd man out. 3.0 still hasn't been out for very long, and everyone is still acclimating to level 60 content, whether they admit to it or not. Since you are a tank, it's important to remember that it really is not just you that is keeping everyone alive. If the healer or DPS aren't doing their job, then you'll all die anyway. Everyone has to perform, and everyone makes mistakes.

 

Naturally you'll run into assholes in duty finder, and if they start to rag on you just tell them to nut up and shut up. They'll get over it, and chances are you will not see ANY of these people ever again.

 

Really the best thing you can do is just do your best... If you screw up, apologize, but only once. If the pressure is really that much, ask your friends to run content with you until you're comfortable enough to subject yourself to solo roulette.

[Asmodean]

As a tank main, I know the feeling. It gets tiring seeing people trying to tell me how to do my job, when they barely know how their job works. When the group is nice or laid back I give out hints until I feel like I'm not being listened too or asked/told not to.

 

I've gotten to the point, that I don't even look at chat anymore in the lvl60 dungeons. I just do what I have to and talk to friends over skype and vent about how bad that summoner is, or pissily wonder why I've been at less then half hp when I only have two things on me.  When I do get a good group the skype chat more or less fall into lore or what we think might be coming up in patch yet  come.

 

I'd say just fine something to get your mind off the problem and just sit back and relax. Some people will be looking for something to complain about.   Ignore them and do the job you need to. Odds are you will never encounter them again after this run.

[KitKat]

The overwhelming majority of people I meet in DF are friendly and forgiving. It isn't until you hit the raids that people start raising their hackles, and even then they typically just spam Vote Abandon or drop on their own.

[LiadansWhisper]

  Quote

Anyone else just really dread the roulette queues? I don't know what it is - the idea of a bunch of strangers relying on my ability to keep them alive, maybe - but I absolutely hate running dungeons.

 

Sometimes you get a real friendly party, y'know? They're polite and nice and give you non-confrontational tips as you go. And then sometimes you get horrible parties full of assholes who just tell you how to do your job every time you lose enmity for half a second. And there is just no way of knowing which one it's going to be because you don't know these people, and it's not like there's an in-game "I think I'm better than you at everything" flag.

 

It's the pressure. I know it's a game, and there's not supposed to be that much pressure, and if it were just me, alone, there wouldn't be. But it's not. It's me and a bunch of people relying on me. I have to preform well, or it's not fun for anyone. It doesn't help that some people wait in queues for half an hour at a time (but not tanks, haha ha... ha).

 

And now I'm at the point in the game where people are starting to take their dungeons very seriously. The dungeons I'm starting on now are harder and people have thus far been less forgiving of mistakes. And it's just not cool when you have to pop an ativan in the middle of a dungeon run because you're starting to have a panic attack. It's rough, man.

 

Anyone else have similar feelings about dungeons, or am I the odd man out?

 

Nah, most of my dungeon roulettes have been really nice, but every now and then I got some really, really awful parties.  One in particular was so bad that I ended up leaving and reporting the entire group for harassment.

 

Don't let them get to you, though, and please remember that it's not all your responsibility.  Your party is there to help you, and if they don't, it's them who are doing wrong, not you.

[Aysun]

I only feel this anxiety when I'm playing a role I know I shouldn't play. Such as when I was leveling my tank classes - I haaated it. When I'm on my roles that I'm practiced and good with, I'm fine!

 

Have you considered trying other roles that may cause less anxiety for you?

[Gaspard]

Def. had some 'oh shit' moments as a tank. imho there's more pressure on tanks/healers in general. Plus you have to take more into account. keep aggro, maintain right position and inbetween dps as much as you can without risking said aggro/position. very nopeworthy when you run content for the first time

[Nebbs]

Even though I make myself do it and get along okay, I hate the anxiety. I have a friend who heals while I tank and that does well, also I get friends from LSs to come, that also helps. But the solo roulette, I have to almost turn off and just do it.

 

I tend to tank mostly as at least I have some control.

[Sin]

I don't feel any overwhelming anxiety most of the time.

 

When I do, it usually stems from not having prepared well-enough for the task I'm about to do, not having done the research so to say.

 

Being new doesn't cause me any anxiety as stating outright and upfront right at the start of whatever I'm doing. "Hey, this is my first time, let me know what I could do better." Absolves me of all sins.

 

It might help to read about whatever dungeon you're doing, and the specific responsibilities your role with entail.

 

Try your best to relax and enjoy the experience. You can't help but run into some bad apples - it's the internet, but I find on the average most groups are people just like you trying to get their queue done just like you.

[Virella]

Personally I do not feel anxiety at all; in truth dungeons with too many random people frustrates me mostly of the time.

 

That's why I mostly run my dailies with friends, so I do not have to worry

[Griffith!]

Thanks for all the advice, guys.

 

I do read up on the dungeons and raids before I do them - I actually check multiple websites before each one. That's one of those "I didn't really deserve to be an AP honor student" side-effects: I have a tendency to over-prepare. But, theory and practice rarely match up.

 

I know the party is there to help me too, but the thing about anxiety? You never really know what's going to make you anxious. Knowing it's not all on me and feeling like it's not all on me aren't the same thing.

 

It doesn't help that the classes I want to play are all tanks, with the exception of pugilist. But that's okay, because I'm not even a bad tank. My actual ability to preform my job isn't the problem here.

[Aaron]

I generally don't have a issue. I got all the anxiety out when I first rolled Paladin last year and learned the class and how tanking is.

 

My advice? Tanking is stressful to some people. Just gotta pull through it.

[Gegenji]

I used to be worried at first. But having leveled not one but two tanks to 60, I like to think I've accumulated enough experience to do the job decently well. And, since I run through content as a healer first, I usually have a general sense of the fight - though there might be a couple tank things I'm unaware of.

 

Of course, no one can see that. And some don't even care and want to tell you how to do your job and get testy no matter what you do. I think I mentioned in the Vent Tent a little while back where I had to deal with a mouthy DRG that was completely abrasive and demeaning, and got snide when I told him that - while my character was new in the instance - I had run through it twice before on my other two characters.

 

Just do your best, and if someone is being enough of a jerk - initiate a votekick. Most likely, everyone else isn't like dealing with the guy either and it'll pass. If not, you can always remove yourself and find yourself a nice, new group with your <5 minute tank queue.

[Viola]

I play my role how I like my (real life) Master; Assertive and dominant.

 

('-' )

 

With that said, I don't have an issue with running dungeons unless it's raid tier content (IE Final Coil of Bahamut)

[Nako Vesh]

I get this, too. Actually, to be honest, I have an anxiety disorder so I get nervous about the most random things in general. The only think that really helps me is running dungeons/raid almost exclusively with friends. So, unfortunately, my only advice is to find a nice, supportive group of friends to run things with? 

[Flickering Ember]

I don't feel it when I am DPSing.

 

But I DO when I tank. Tanking opens you up for much more criticism since our mistakes are more noticeable. I've been working up the courage to tank in DF again after a particularly terrible run with party members so asshole-ish that I actually dropped the party and left the dungeon. (Something I NEVER do)

[Kellach Woods]

I tank in DF.

 

If they aren't happy, offer advice, themselves, or stfu.

[Dante Abigor]

Rather than anxiety about people hating my dungeoning I get anxiety from the other players mostly.

 

Is the healer going to be like...a good healer? Are the DPS going to run ahead of me and pull? If we wipe is someone going to auto rage quit?

 

These things drive me nuts, especially the second I identify something out of the ordinary.

 

A great source of stress for me as a tank though comes from really good dps AND a great healer. Im then playing juggle the hate while I bite my nails watching the bars, my DoTs, positioning, if any new monsters show up(cause i like doing blind runs of dungeons sometimes, did it just earlier with Fractal Continuum and had a grand ol time til the final boss), and wondering when the best time to use my Gcds are. Its admittedly good stress though, Im never like....really freaking out over it, more like I think up all these emergency rotations and try to match everyone elses play style at once.

[Caspar]

No. If I'm criticized, I adjust. It's not likely I'll meet them again.

[Dravus]

Ultimately not everybody is cut out for being a tank or healer since there's - arguably - a lot more pressure then there is as a DPS. With that said I've been lucky enough for the majority of my groups to be fairly present. I still get the occasional bad apple from time to time but I've learned to filter them out. If you're met with abuse over an honest mistake then don't be afraid to make use of the report function and distance yourself by taking your leave. Then go cool off, relax and come back later.

 

For trickier content it's usually best to go with some friends. Or maybe create a group through the party finder or through the use of this site. At least then if you screw up there's a high chance that people will just laugh it off, offer advice and generally just be understanding - especially if they inform them that you're still getting to grips with everything.

 

Don't feel ashamed if watching videos and studying guides proves to be overwhelming. People have different methods of gathering information and many - like me - are much better suited to picking up new skills through engaging in content directly instead of trying to study a guide/video.

[DeletedUser]

I rarely run into rude people in this game but I have bad memories from WoW so I feel nervous doing dungeons sometimes, even as dps. If a melee LB is mandatory, for example, oh man haha. Chrysalis had me in a cold sweat the first time I did it and everyone said it was down to me to LB the tear. I didn't even know what the tear looked like! There's also that niggling worry whether my dps is up to par.

 

Anyway, you're not alone in feeling nervous but, if you enjoy the role, I'd say keep doing it and turn off party chat. Or get friends to go with you.

[Lekka Meyren]

Generally do not have this anxiety, probably because I vastly prefer roles where I can have a larger impact and compensate for others mistakes. So I play healer and tank.

 

 

What I -DO- have is an intense cynicism and growing hatred for people who mess up unrepentantly.  This does not mean I rage or yell at rookies; I generally am super happy to tell them tactics and take a few wipes as a given.

 

...But the DPS who pull when I'm tanking. the DPS who stand in orange stuff when I am healing, The tank who doesn't use their defensive stance and angrily goes "Fine." when I tell them to because my Mp hits 0% on trash.

 

I HATE them with a burning passion.

[Griffith!]

  Quote

...But the DPS who pull when I'm tanking.

 

This. I super hate this. I always take this as a sign things are going to go poorly.

[Tierney Weaver]

FFXIV's community is nothing like WoW, the playerbase in general is very forgiving. If you wipe 4-5 times, don't expect them to welcome you with open arms but you shouldn't worry, just keep on improving, learn from your mistakes and you'll be fine.

[Martiallais]

Gonna repeat a lot of what's been said as I definitely am one to get a bit of 'tank nerves' the first time I'm in a run or even randomly queue'ing now and then. I agree stating up front if it's your first time in a place (I usually run with friends my first time or two in a place if I can help it for this reason) is a good idea. And honestly as someone who plays tank and dps I like to be ready/prepped to offer aid in either role if needed.

 

I've found, for me at least, that things like marking and instructions can make a run smooth. I try not to assume people will know what to do unless I don't see the 'new player completion bonus' message. Just remember that as the tank, you set the pace that you (and your healer) are comfortable at. If people don't like that, they can leave but don't feel you have to pull a giant chunk of the dungeon if you aren't ready for it. Just communicate and more often than not people are glad to work with you to see things through.