Describe your backstory in the worst way!

[Melkire]

Osric: Big sis bites it pushing a little one out of the oven, dad commits sudoku out of grief, upper middle class whelp grows up a resentful murder hobo instead, loses his temper, has to run away and leave home forever, enlists, gets suckered into defusing terrorist plots.

 

Tengri: Garlean schemes, Garlean dies, Garlean gets raised as undead, Garlean revolts, Garlean raises an army of darkness, Garlean regains mortality, Garlean aspires to world domination, Garlean wishes validation from his peers, Garlean boohoo.

 

Haruko: Spoiled brat of an heir to a fortune goes down the wrong path and flees after an experiment in thaumaturgy goes horribly wrong. Returns years later and enlists for a time before deciding that jarheads are, indeed, morons. She opts out and signs up for traditional law enforcement instead.

 

Emerissel: Head of a minor Ishgardian house, renown for producing high-quality dragoons, gets suckered by the woman he considers his adopted daughter into playing patron, benefactor, and employer to a company of misfits, troublemakers, and assholes. He takes more than his fair share of amusement from this, to go with his fair share of grief.

[111]

Oh two more

 

 

Throbbing Pillar: Young Roe was born a girl instead of the boy their parents wanted, got a name to match. 

 

R'elend Tia: Brass Blade makes a deal with the god of death in order to escape it. Can't die until his task is completed. Makes no effort to complete said task.

[Edelirium]

Wood Wailers suck and the forest is boring. Yer a wizard Harry. Trusting people sucks and being alone is boring. Stop playing with ancient magics you'll hurt somebody. Nothing sucks and life is pretty good now.

 

Alternatively: Cat plays with fire, gets burned. Cat plays with bigger fire, except wearing protective gear this time.

[Roen]

Roen: A runaway from home finds being an idealist is hard.

 

Brynnalia: She too fine and carefree to settle down. Except she kind of wants to.

 

Raelisanne: Woman with daddy issues takes it out on everyone else in the name of science.

[C'kayah Polaali]

Osric: Big sis bites it pushing a little one out of the oven, dad commits sudoku out of grief, upper middle class whelp grows up a resentful murder hobo instead, loses his temper, has to run away and leave home forever, enlists, gets suckered into defusing terrorist plots.

 

At least he got an epic bromance out of it...

 

[Coatleque]

Aibell Sorrowsong: Scorned lover unleashes wrath on Halone's enemies.

[Aden Dellebecque]

That thing you don't like.

 

Seriously, though: Poor life choices of a morally bankrupt woman and a broken man lead to child, which they foist off on more stable individuals, resulting in farmboy with something to prove.

[Nero]

Kasrjin Khadai: Loyal communist comrade seeks to save glorious Motherland by taking secret to nuclear power away from capitalist pig-dogs.

[TheLastCandle]

Local Sea Wolf gives up on dreams; lives in blue collar hell.

[Greybarren]

Homeless hobo highlander hikes haphazardly however he has hindrances hanging his hereditary handicraft.

[Virella]

Avelyn: Warrior woman gets fucked over by several people. Deals with this by fucking things up more instead of solving issues. And alcohol.

 

 

Virella: Racist, xenophobic elezen makes bad life choices, including getting a halfbreed baby with a hyur. Is still racist and xenophobic, and doesn’t see the flaw in it.

[Eses Fafa]

Emotionless catgirl who fakes being happy and gets blamed for everything.

[Jana]

Stupid cat fails the grieving process.

[Leggerless]

Elise: Ex-military officer who sometimes has to choke a bitch.

[Chompie]

Stupid cat fails the grieving process.

Ooh, I gotta try that one! Sounds like fun!

[Cassandra]

Cassandra: Mouthed off to daddy, lost an eye for it and now pretends she's too badass for Eorzea; discovers the vagabond life doesn't pay all that well along the way. Still too badass to ask for help though.

[zanrike]

Z'Thara: Sadistic catgirl with abandonment issues.

[DeletedUser]

Inarah: Friendless loser runs away from home.

[Kaiya]

Kaiya: Sent to boarding school to be the greatest bookworm. She succeeds.

[Kellach Woods]

Kellach:

 

 

 

Sylvie:

Uppity duskwight thinks it's people, news at elezen.

 

Better effort: Duskwight clings to nobility and land that hasn't been seen in 500 years, is barely 19.

 

Sasati:

All the holiness and good you can get in a tiny, Mary Sue package.

[mongi291]

Isaulde: He dies, you die, I die, everyone dies. Little tomboyish Elezen becomes a Sith.

 

Ume: Garlemald destroys Doma, a ninja flees and hates on Garleans. AKA Originality. With 20% more ninjas.

[Jana]

Stupid cat fails the grieving process.

Ooh, I gotta try that one! Sounds like fun!

 

Dealing with the loss of a loved one by attempting genocide generally isn't approved of by psychiatric professionals.

[TK Hikaru]

Chouwa: Homeless mutt joins gang. Escapes jail time by getting on a boat.

[DoomsdayClock]

The Keeper : Clanless Keeper makes the worst friends and life choices

The Roegadyn : Handicapped Roegadyn solves all problems by punching

The Noble : Murderer is no longer sure who to murder, adopts child instead.

The Killer: Insane Revolutionary turns people into candy colored rocks.

The Lalafel Crimelord struggles with crime vs. Public Opinion. Frequently cannot reach drinks on tabletops

The Au Ra : Lonely lizard is overly concerned with masculinity. Carries an overly long spear to compensate

The Elezen : Crazy cat lady winds up homeless and unemployed. Still keeps cats.

The Highlander : Bro spends all of his time picking on overweight ginger. Claims to be father of the year, daughter is never seen.

[Nodem]

A: Cat turns into a dragon and steals another dragon's identity.

 

Y: Typical fall from grace princess that blames an entire race for her problems.