Sex and Your Character/Roleplay (NSFW Discussion)

[Faye]

Faye is a very nonsexual person. She doesn't enjoy physical contact, sexual or nonsexual, and her sense of propriety makes her wrinkle her nose at PDA, promiscuity, and prostitution. I suppose it's because of this she ended up with someone as lewd and lusty as Val--only someone so persistent and tempting could sway her.  Otherwise, Faye was actually contently a virgin until the two started dating. She is very heterosexual--any curiosity she may have had in women was quickly destroyed with an incident with a certain Voidtouched (though this hasn't stopped multiple women from hinting at inviting her to a threesomes @_@).

 

As for dominance, Faye likes a challenge and a "manly" man. Submissive men are a huge turn off to her (ironically, considering those who have tried to tempt her to be unfaithful did it by ass-kissing relentlessly). Though, that doesn't mean she's the submissive one--she likes an equal mix. She likes to be in charge, but she's attracted to power in others, so they have to prove they can hold their own against her.

 

As for my other characters, Unmei is very shy and naive so she's a bit reluctant with the idea of sex. She's conflicted about the subject, though--while she did leave behind the Seeker lifestyle out of a disdain for it, her instincts and upbringing are still a large part of her, and they tell her that sex is something natural and highly encouraged. Regardless, she does strongly believe in the romantic notion that sex is something reserved for that special "one and only" person you love, thus she's held out until she found her now fiance. I'd say she's probably bi-curious, but she's not a very sexual person and in a committed relationship with a man, so likely nothing will come it. She's very submissive, but she's actually sort of become the dominant one in her relationship because her gentlemanly partner is terrified to bring up sex for fear of disrespecting her. 

 

And then there's Shade. She's a Voidtouched who steals the aether of others through sexual contact--yes, a succubus--so naturally sex is a huge part of her character (though I'm actually more swayed to "fade to black" with her than any of my other characters, as the act itself is relatively meaningless to her). I'd consider her pansexual even if only for practical purposes--food is food, she's not picky. She claims that sex is only a necessity and she doesn't enjoy it (outside of with her current lover) but it's not quite the truth--she does seem to enjoy it, if only because her nature forces her to as well as because of the feeling of power it gives her, particularly considering her victims are not always wholly willing. She prefers to be entirely dominant in most situations, but strangely, when she actually cares for someone as she does her current lover, she's actually very submissive, save for frequent acts of rebellion when she's unhappy with him.

 

Lastly, Ael is not a very sexual person. He doesn't have a lot of experience with sex, just a few random one-night stands with admirers who've come to him, but he doesn't seek it out himself. Unlike Unmei and Faye, he doesn't tie sex to romance or serious relationships, so while he's probably the least interested in sex of all my characters, he'd be more likely to have it than Faye or Unmei. To him, sex is just something that feels good so might as well do it when he feels like it. He is entirely heterosexual, and he prefers to be the dominant one, though he does not like overly submissive women, or for that matter, promiscuous women as he views it as desperation, because much like Faye, he finds strength and stubbornness in others admirable. He does, however, have a sense of etiquette that leads him to believe frequent sex is mostly saved for marriage and procreation, which is why he hasn't been with the same woman twice.

 

As for my OOC views, sex is sex. It's a thing that happens, and biologically it's hardwired to be the prime goal of our lives. That being said, it's not as if we haven't evolved to have our own identities, preferences, and other motivators. Sex is an important of the lives of all my characters (even those who abstain from it) as it's vital to their lives, their personalities, their interactions with others, their relationships, etc. However, it's not a the focus of my RP or my characters' lives. While ERP is fine and dandy, it's something I reserve for special circumstances, so often I prefer to just fade to black.

 

That being said, to me OOC, sex is something special and private to be reserved for the person you love and are in a relationship with. I don't always insert that view into my characters, but it is rare/difficult for me to play characters who are promiscuous out of nothing more than hedonism and highly interested in frequent, casual sexual encounters. I don't think it's so much to do with my RL views, though, as it is a wariness that even if I fade to black every time, having a character who acts that way will still get me labelled nothing more than an "ERPer" with a big scarlet A on my chest that will scare away any serious RPers looking for something more than getting their character laid. I'm afraid it will chase away the attention I want and rather attract the wrong sort of attention.

[Jana]

Jana has always preferred women in terms of looks but never thought much about sex until she was kidnapped for use as a blood sacrifice. She (incorrectly) assumed she was chosen because she was a virgin, and even after her rescue had been reluctant to accept even minor PDA.

 

The question of whether her virginity is something worth killing her over has forced the topic into her mind, making her even more scared to go through with the act. The fact that the only person she was prepared to do it with died before she could get around to it will likely only make things worse for her.

[Kyatai]

Eorsza, seems like a place where the historical prejudice of our own, world isn't apparent in this land. But I havent as yet, seen NPCS who have alternative sexuality.

 

Go to the Observatorium and listen to the two Elezen on the bunk beds' conversation.

[ArmachiA]

The NPC who sold things for the Moonfire Faire, who looked like Minfilia 1.0, has a betrothed who was a female. If you talked to her, she mentions it.

 

The Devs actually stated Eorzea is completely cool with alternative sexualities. It's just a non-issue there, doesn't need to be brought up because no one cares.

[GloryRhodes]

Spahro is...  Nonsexual?  I describe her an an "Asexual Bitch Monster" but it's not really true.  Spahro experiences attraction and has had a lover or two in the past, but it's generally pretty far from the forefront of her mind.  She's got more important things to do than go around examining people's genitals, I guess.

 

And let's be completely fair here, why would anyone want to get intimate with Spahro?  I actually play her as terribly off putting and caustic in an attempt to keep romantic advances at a minimum.

 

Don't have sex with Spahro.  She'd make fun of you the whole time then write in the paper about how bad you are in bed.

[Kinono]

I'm not against on the grounds that it's treated with respect and not as a non-canon eff spree. If the scene has a purpose for developing something or showing something off or has some purpose, then yes. By all means. If you're just logging in for the purpose of getting your rocks off and don't treat any encounter with any sort of continuity then... Well what you're doing isn't even RP. That's cybering, and (while everyone if free to have fun their own way,) is something I'd prefer didn't exist or involve others.

[Berrod Armstrong]

*Cracks knuckles*

My character's views, hmm? I'll start off with sex on the whole. Berrod is a hot-blooded Highlander male in his early twenties. He's physically active and helplessly oozes more testosterone than he knows what to do with. As a result, sex is on his mind every eight seconds, and a lot of his trivial pursuits have sex as a goal. 

 

Regarding prostitution, he believes that sex is something everyone wants. If there's one thing the people of Ul'Dah know, is that anything with a high demand stands to make a significant profit; therefore he sees prostitution simply as 'goods and services'. The circumstances behind the prostitution do not change this view.

 

Berrod is a bit of a selfish man in certain respects (ok, most respects). He's also full of himself to bursting point. His view of the world is that everything and everyone he has come into contact with belongs to him. Sexually, this translates into a preference to be the more dominant party. There's no such thing as male or female dominance in his mind -- as long as everyone submits to him, everything is hunky dory.

 

To say that Berrod is willing to perform the act is to say that humans need to breathe. The lug is so very willing that sex is the most effective currency of bribery within his relationship (food runs a very close second). His lover often finds himself repelling frequent, ill-timed advances, or enduring rather bold groping when the redhead thinks he can get away with it. If Berrod is not in the mood to try 'funny business' as he calls it, or if he turns down an offer from Caleb -- something is terribly wrong. It's prudent to note that Berrod's sexuality is sometimes one of the hints or tells that something is amiss in the greater span of the plot; usually when he's guilty or hiding something. 

 

Though the other aspects of his relationship are the ones that spend the most time under the spotlight, Berrod's relationship with Caleb is largely sexual. This is not to say that he's in it for the sex -- but rather that they are two young men who are happily involved, and just end up doing what young men often want to do. As I indicated, the other aspects of the relationship are the ones that get more attention because well...seriously, if I was going to give focus to the sexy times I'd be in an never-ending  ERP scene. Gods-damned horndog. 

 

The most interesting part of his sexuality is the fact that it very nearly matches that of Caleb's, INCLUDING the need for dominance. It's a very entertaining clash to play off, and brings wonderful flavor into playing off the act of compromise -- or the lack of, in some cases. 

 

Berrod as a character would not nearly be as interesting as he is without his sexual facets. As a player I enjoy exploring, challenging and developing him on that front -- because as a hot blooded male myself, I know how being randy all the time can just get in the way of EVERYTHING. Planting my own understanding of that mindset into a character and story is something I do not at all regret doing. 

 

As for how it affects his story? Well, if getting nasty between the sheets is the big lug's main goal at the end of the day, then it serves as a great motivator for him to get through all the challenges that come his way! Berrod isn't often risking his life, nor does he fight for coin and country. In the end, the man just wants to go home and get laid. A fantastic filler goal in the form of simple pleasures. Also, there's something fantastically hilarious about an awkwardly horny dude in a situation that really just doesn't suit the mood. That happens a lot.

 

WALL OF TEXT COMPLETE

[QueenFrejyalen]

My overall stance on sexuality is that it is multifaceted, and each facet deserves equal respect, so long as your "brand" or "type" of sexuality is not harmful to another.  I also believe that sexuality (and gender constructs, but that's another conversation) can be fluid or rigid, depending on the person.

 

Do I think sex is necessary for every RP'd lifestyle?  Nope.  Do I think that it has a real, valid place in RP?  Yep!  We all have reasons and rationales for why we do what we do, in all of life and in our sexual lives.  Sexuality does shape my characters and the type of RP that they are engaged in, and is not something I'm shy about discussing or working into a plot.

 

As for my character breakdown...

 

Queen is asexual heteroromantic.  She is engaged to a Miqo'te man that she has known since childhood, who grew up alongside her in their homeland.  She does not necessarily frown on sex, but it is not really a motivation she displays and she doesn't really want to know about the sexual relationships of others, unless it is pertinent/useful information to her goals.  She can be very affectionate and loving, but not so much publicly (though it's difficult for her to keep up appearances sometimes with how openly affectionate her fiance is, aha.)  She's a very private person for most things.

 

Miounne is bisexual.  She is attracted to both men and women, and has no qualms expressing this through flirting or sexual promiscuity.  She views sex with a pretty open mind and has next-to-no shame in regards to her own sexual history; she believes that it's her life to live, and if sex is what she wants, then why shouldn't she get it?  Between the sheets, Mio is pretty dominant but it really depends on the partner she's with.  She tends to seek partners who would "worship her body" in the process, though she's not unfamiliar with quickies or one-night trysts.

 

Sex is a big part of romantic relationships to her, believing that the sexual attraction is the first instinctual understanding of the other and a good indicator of whether a life together would work out.  Although she is so open about sex, she takes her official relationships seriously and probably wouldn't consider juggling multiple long-term relationships (but this might depend on the level of alcohol and her ego).

 

Miounne is currently in a semi-official relationship; she has been going on with her usual flirting and promiscuity but as far as romantic-ish sex has been coming back to the same guy... no word on whether this will become a serious romantic/monogamous relationship, as we haven't RP'd that far into it yet.

[Aaron]

Lol Aaron might as well be asexual. One does not simply be a emo badass by sleeping around. 

 

Truth be told even then, Aaron doesn't seem like the committed type and with his views on personal problems and how he feels other peoples emotions aren't his business I doubt he's the right choice for most women. Even so, if he did do it he'd probably feel confused about whether he should stick around or just break the girls heart and leave. Lately though he's been a lot less brooding (literally the first time he ever smiled was 2 days ago. I KNOW I rped him good because everyone that saw him smile was astonished beyond recognition. I felt like I needed a trophy) so who knows he might open up more about relationships.

 

As for OOC view, well I view rp as basically a second life so WHY THE FUCK NOT!? I mean unless your character is some self pleasuring S.O.B. lol or someone without natural emotions they're gonna want to have sex with something. Yes I just said something to cover all bases.

 

If anything it should be looked at as something your character would do just like you would irl. Nothing wrong about it IMO.

 

Now let me stop sounding like a mature person as this needs to be said. 

 

HA! HE SAID SEX !

 

K I got the kid out my system.

[Naunet]

Interesting thread. It sometimes strikes me as strange how strident people get over defending sexuality in roleplay as something vital to story. As a real person myself (at least I think I am... ), it's certainly not something that comes to mind much. There's a lot more going on in my life that's far more important.

 

THAT SAID

 

I totally get it and can see how sex and related topics contribute to a character's story. Though sometimes I think it gets a little exaggerated... but that's beside the point. As for my characters...

 

Antimony/K'piru doesn't really have an issue with the act of sex, but she does have a very set mind in when such an act is appropriate. She grew up and lived out a huge chunk of her adult life in a tradition-bound, isolated Seeker tribe where sex is a privilege confined to between the Nunh and the women who choose to mate with him. And the overarching purpose of said acts were driven by a need to reproduce. That's not to say there wasn't affection - in many cases, there was a lot of affection (in Antimony's case, even...) - but there was also a very strong sense of duty around the act. So, she treats sex not as something to do casually with whomever, and she definitely gets disturbed when others (especially other Seekers) behave in a way that suggests a sexual (or romantic) habit deviating from her established culture. She's a bit intolerant in that respect.

 

K'thalen shares some similar views, but he's a far more gregarious person than Antimony has ever been, so he's much less constrained when it comes to considering sex. As once-Nunh, he put a lot of value in building close relationships with the women in the tribe he laid with. Of course, that's also just representative of his personality - he puts a lot of value in building close relationships in any way. It's what made him such an admired father figure in the tribe as well. x3 Though all of that is in the past, and there are some subtle but significant changes to his personality as a result of certain things.

[ArmachiA]

Everything is important. People have to ardently defend Sex as important to a character because there's so many people out there that believes it's gross, uncalled for, and those that talk about it are just looking for ERP. Your defense of something has to get stronger when there are very vocal naysayers. So you also have to be very vocal. This subject already puts anyone willing to talk about it on the defensive ("I don't do it all the time!" "It's not my goal in rp..." "I want to just say...") because you have to. People are judgemental about humping man.

[Telluride]

I think I'm best off talking personal views first, and characters second.

 

ERP is a very difficult subject to talk about with any sort of mature discussion (the irony, right?), so I am gratified to see it discussed in this thread with calm and rationality. As an RPer, I've had my share of it, in both one-night, short bursts and in long-term RP relationships that spanned months, and in a couple of cases years, of time. To be blunt, I have learned many things the hard way, having had some incredibly wonderful, character building experiences, and admittedly, some horrible ones that, earlier in my RP career, led to some severe OOC issues. However, the one benefit to learning the hard way is that one gains insight on how to handle it, so I have a few core rules I have established for myself.

 

Story is key. ERP should be a part of a character's persona, and build from it, when it is practiced. If one wants to have a character who actively seeks it out, then I say, play on, but the character should remain a character and not merely a posting-machine. That doesn't preclude fast meetings and exciting new encounters, of course, but these should ideally affect, or be affected by, the personalities of both participants.

 

I insist on at least a little play-up RP before engaging or moving towards a sexual encounter, and I don't mean simply foreplay. I want to talk to the other participant in the same way I'd get to know actual people - banter, share stories, flirt, gauge the characters' attractions, and, to be blunt, test out the other person' ability to RP effectively. Yes, this is elitist, perhaps, but ERP with a bad RPer is ten times worse than any other sort of RP with a bad RPer! Though we have some very limited visuals, FFXIV is still largely a text-based medium for these sorts of thing, and if the banter is bad, the sex is going to be a lot worse!

 

Comfort between players is the single most important thing - be sensitive to your partners' wishes and how far they are willing to go, and be prepared to stop and fade to black if a comfort zone is breached. I have had a number of RP relationships over several games in which pretty much anything and everything was described in tantalizing detail, but I have had others in which the couple faded to black at the moment the first item of clothing dropped, and the latter were still some of the best experiences of my time, because the story was so well done, the other character so built up and vibrant and fun, that the mechanics themselves were disposable. Yes, it can be a mood killer to ask, but there are ways to find out. Give the other person a chance to react to overtures, and don't immediately grab for things - this is basic RP 101, the kind of give-and-take that avoids godmoding. You can play a sexually aggressive character with a submissive partner and STILL give the actual player cues to react to, so that a boundary encountered can be respected. Also, take responsibility for ensuring your own comfort, and do what you need to do as a player to secure comfort; any RPer worth spending your time with will respect that, and if they don't, it's time to Fade.

 

Keep it private. This isn't about catering to whiners or puritan purists, but about respect for the community and immersion. Finding the right setup, and keeping it restricted for the participants and the participants only, should be a major goal for everyone who wishes to try ERP. Party chat is a good tool - use it.

 

Play it up! Let your character's personality show forth during the encounter. Chat it up, introduce some quirks, change things around, and let the other person enjoy who your character IS as much as, if not much more so, than the act itself.

 

Finally, do not engage in ERP with someone who you are pretty sure is going to create OOC issues, especially ones that might leak into RL with bad results.

 

As for my own character, Nathan grew up in a troupe of bards and performers who might be referred to as "gypsies", with apologies for any stereotype. They were singers, dancers, jugglers, and yes, a few "courtesans" who were rather open and deliberately outgoing with their sexualities because such makes for a good show, public attention and a good flow of gil; Nathan himself was but a musician and singer with them, but inherited his surrogate family's libertine attitudes. He doesn't expect to sleep with every woman he meets - to play with the wrong townies can bring disaster to a traveling troupe, and many times in the past, his people had to make a too-hasty exit because one of his "siblings" made a play for the wrong person and brought down the wrath of the local gendarmes and politicos; this wariness persists in him despite now being bereft of his former family. Being about as big as it is possible for a Highlander to be, Nathan is attracted heavily to tall, and especially Roegadyn, women, but would never turn down a lovely lady simply because she had a smaller nose or a tail, though his own personal prejudices and physical size means he cannot take Lalafell sexuality seriously at all. Enthusiasm calls his attention more than any physical characteristics, in the end, and he would gladly spend more time with an aggressive Miqo'te than a painfully shy but shapely Roe. He values his freedom to wander and play songs across Eorzea more than he values any particular relationships at this time, and he tends to avoid both hard-to-get and too-easy-to-get at those extremes. He is brash by nature, and terribly wordy, and wouldn't push for a physical encounter with any female who could not enjoy these characteristics, because for him, the play and banter doesn't stop just because the lights go out.

 

Also, I have an alt in the works who is a powerfully loyal bodyguard for a Lalafellin madam, played by a good friend of mine. This character was the only survivor of a rather brusque and overly familiar pirate crew, and is used to sexuality at a moment's notice, and has learned through hard knocks to compartmentalize friendship and physicality. As the bodyguard, though, there's no concern about being made part of the merchandise, unless the Mistress demanded it and gil was terribly short, which has not yet happened. In fact, we've been meaning to check in with Umi/PkThundra's courtesan initiative, but RL and other responsibilities, plus my current focus on my main, have slowed down the necessary leveling for this alt that I need for travel and the like.

 

I'd say the final word is Maturity - have it, find it, get it, but apply it to your ERP and to those with whom you practice it.

[Blue]

I don't do it. At all. I have absolutely no interest in sex in real life, and I have no interest in it in any form of my entertainment. I don't even really like it as a story device, either. Most of the time when I see it in movies or there is any kind of fanservice (like in anime) I get extremely agitated. 

 

I don't participate in ERP and am not interested but don't like talking about it either. I don't like listening to others poke fun at ERPers or insult them. I just don't like to talk about it. Suddenly, this post is very ironic.

 

As long as people don't tell me that I can't RP romance without ERP, then I don't care what anyone else does as long as they don't involve me in it.

I was going to give my 2 gil on the topic but then I saw this post and well... no point repeating the same stuff. I 100% agree with this, and every word in it stands for my own completely.

 

Edit: Adding the PoV for all of my characters..

 

Blue: She was raised isolated by the outside world, and those who raised her (along with those who now travel with her) have always cautiously avoided the topic around her. As of now, she is clueless about romance or mating and struggles to understand when she overhears comments related to these subjects on her travels.

 

Jet'a Vann: Much as any emo-badass stereotype, Jet'a seems completely asexual and not interested in having a sexual partner. He was hit on by others several times already IC ((Which is what pushed me away from open RP, got tired of meeting new RPers only to find out they were only interested in the bedroom...)) , and he always rejected them. I honestly cannot see that changing.

 

Vincent Laucent: He is the Pure&Innocent stereotype, and just turned 18. As of now, he is not interested in romance, and he doesn't seem to attract women either ((which is hopefully a sign I can RP a teenager well)).

 

Chiara Foschiani: She was married, so obviously she had sex at one point in her life ((with an NPC which I did not RP since this would be about her past history background)). Being the high society citizen she is, talking about intimacy among people is taboo and she gets very flustered when people around her bring it up.

 

Dylise Rontremont: A materialistic thief. Maybe she would resort to her beauty to steal something off of others ((though it never occurred to me to RP that)), but she is otherwise too interested in making money and claim pretty things without being taught to distract herself with boys.

 

Kujh'a Lihzeh: While he is currently engaged into a relationship, Kujh avoids bringing the topic up with others. He is more interested in epic adventures.

 

Clive Stark: Perhaps the most sexually-driven character I have. Clive avoided commitment like plague, preferring prostitutes and one-night adventures with strangers rather than having a real relationship ((again, none of this stuff was actually RPd. I'm too shy.)). However, since he got to travel with Kara, and had to deal with her crush on him, he has been holding back on flirting with others or looking for whores, slowly letting himself grow fond of the girl.

 

Valeria Idavoll: Valeria did get the attention of several characters up to this point, but always sternly rejected them, even with some annoyance. Clive theorized that she might be gay, but who knows if that is true.

[B'ren Lyrgh]

Well this is gonna be interesting.

 

Aight, so, B'ren was part of a break away tribe from the main "Boar" tribe when he was a wee lad. The only reason he went with them was, because like any young teenager, he followed his raging boner for the 'wanna-be Nunh' that was going to leave it with his father. Fast-forward ten years later and he and this Nunh are alone, drunk, talking, and B'ren confesses his love aaaaaaand gets near beaten to death by the Nunh and his friends. The next few years was B'ren under an impression that any thoughts towards other males was just...revolting, made him damn near afraid to admit he was, well, turned on by some amazingly handsome man or stunningly beautiful woman. Now-a-days though, he's in a somewhat relationship THING with a Roegadyn named Grave Shadow and the guys total lax nature about sex really soothes and relaxes B'ren enough to start enjoying himself again. Essentially, with sex and nearly anything else, B'ren is a man that never got to live his teenage years and early adulthood the same way most folks did. The mental scaring from how badly the Nunh's reaction was to his confession blocked him out of growing up pretty normally for a very long time.

 

As for Jak Rohoya, my filthy street rat of a Highlander? Sex was almost currency growing up. Be it to pay off some Brass Blade or Immortal Flames guard from turning him in or some fellow street rat that had something that he wanted, Jak grew up on the streets using his body to keep himself alive. Some days it really got to him, dragging himself from the Inn room with a small sack of gil and crying himself to sleep in the allyway behind it to being utterly gleeful to have a warm bed to sleep in after the deed was done, it was a hit and miss for the guy. Being an actual adult now, though, it doesn't weigh as heavily on his mind (aka the damage has already been done so to speak). Since he started living with Burning Blood it's become...a way to manipulate him, so to speak. Blood's caught on to the youths likes and just recently started using it, though not with himself, to 'reward' Jak for doing as he asks for taking steps in the right direction.

[Aeylis Bloodbinder]

Ooh, this subject.  My RP group and I just had a discussion on this topic...

 

ICly, Aeylis is just naturally flirty and has been known to use her...physique...to manipulate and get information.  She doesn't put much into it, on a personal level, so she really doesn't care for any implications or emotions that may be amiss.  Not to say she's a heartless bitch, but when she likes you, she will most definitely be different with you then she is with all the other people.  Three-ish years of trying to keep a family company alive with a client base of mostly males made her think...outside of the box...

 

OOC, I'm alright with a development with intimacy/romance.  Like many have said, wanting to "get into her pants" every night your on is really annoying and almost grounds for severing ties.  ERP is just fine if the situation calls for it, but I won't stand for it being the sole basis of two character's relationship.  I'm actually a way bigger fan of RP'ing super heavy sexual tension (maybe VERY light implication of engagement) then fading to black.  It's that moment of intensity that makes an impression on me, not the actual act. Plus, my imagination will always ERP with me way better than anyone else can >.> hahaha.

 

Anyone can type out knockin' boots, but not many can really capture the true intimate interpersonal connection that happens which makes such encounters absolutely captivating.

[Eva]

Voted yes to the poll.

 

Probably echoing a lot of what's already been said, but any character's sexuality (or lack thereof) is an important element from which any number of other day-to-day feelings or thoughts may derive.

 

I don't look down upon those who choose to RP this, just as I don't look down upon those who choose not to RP it.  It is just that - a choice.  One each RPer may make for him- or herself.  There is no wrong answer here.  Not everyone will enjoy the same stuff.  And everyone will have a different opinion of what is enjoyable and what is not.

 

For myself, my spouse and I have an agreement and there is a firm line between IC and OOC (as we both RP each of our characters).  I will admit that I generally favor the "fade to black" method, often with some sort of an abridged summary of events that happened between the couple so that may help establish a baseline mood for the following day or whatever.  From past experience, at certain times the RP can feel repetative and a bit of a waste of time (not for lack of compelling writing).  Once in awhile we will still RP a scene if there is some reason for it (assuming of course that the partner character's RPer is comfortable with that).

 

For Eva in particular it is something not taken lightly and has taken months of build-up to get to that point in the few cases where RPing a relationship has gone that way.  Publicly she downplays her own sexuality, however she is very much a heterosexual woman with all the urges and desires that come along with that - point blank she is extremely sexual, but only in private so it's not something most would ever see.  Specifically due to her upbringing, her family and clan's lifestyle, there is a very strong emphasis placed on devotion in a one-to-one relationship.  It may take a long time for her to open up to a significant other, but when she does she opens up completely and what emerges is a truly beautiful thing - a kind of physical manifestation of that level of devotion and trust and honesty and love.  Since the D/s thing came up I will also mention that she usually winds up being the dominant partner (in all but one relationship which then was a bit more of an enduring battle for supremacy, and a source of entertainment as the two characters constantly butted heads, proverbially speaking of course).  She just needs to be comfortable with her lover, and this sort of works against how she represents herself in public - soft-spoken and insightful and passive.

 

Her sexuality and her 'bedroom activities' are not something she would ever publicize - even to close friends.  She is very private about that.  She feels somewhat awkward about public displays of affection.  She has an awkward time balancing her role as a priestess with her role as a lover.  She wants to be seen a particular way, and being with someone often works against that.  She has no qualms about being single either, in those spaces that stretch between lovers.

 

 

So to kind of conclude, I think that sex in RP is one facet of what I personally feel should be a multifaceted character, and those many other facets should not go ignored lest it be a bit of a shallow character in my opinion.  Whether a RPer chooses to explore that or not or find some reason to avoid it altogether is up to the individual and should be respected no matter what.  I personally don't like to see the heavy stuff.  We've seen men and women characters alike flirt heavily with Eva.  She's evolving to a point where she just might flirt back outwardly, but mostly it just makes her feel a bit awkward.  She is generally wary of people who seem overly sure of themselves.  And she carries with her that sort of common prejudice about anyone who is very open and abrupt about sex - generally figuring them to be woven of looser moral fiber.  That's the character bias though, based on what feels to us like a realistic approach to the subject.

[Antain]

There's not much that can be added here aside from character viewpoints at this point. So, I will start by saying that sexual RP is somewhat important in Vaughn's character. He was born an enslaved whore. He knows things. He is nearly an entirely different character when it comes to sexuality because he's confident in his knowledge. This is largely why he's so nervous when given other tasks* (like talking normally to people). He doesn't have the confidence as he was told since he was a child that his only worth is that of pleasing others in a sexual manner. Normal conversations about normal everyday things still confuse him. Of course, over the past year he's been free, he's learned much so it's easier to talk about normal things.

 

*Well, that and his drug abuse, but that's a different topic altogether.

[Mijisaa Qisaa]

Thanks for this topic!  I love being able to delve into Miji and really consider her thinking on different matters. 

 

To start off with, Mijisaa is in her forties and has been married over a decade to her childhood sweetheart Pipituu so she thinks about sex much differently than a younger or single character would.  (Her husband is played by my IRL partner as well and neither of us ERP with our chars.)  Considering this, Mijisaa would probably be considered quite old-fashioned in the sexual sense:  she’s heterosexual and has had only one partner her whole life.  Her first attraction to him was as a friend, as someone she could trust, before anything like a relationship came along. Mijisaa would NEVER discuss the sexual side of her marriage with others, it’s very private and she would consider it rude for someone to ask.  

 

Considering dominance, Mijisaa is used to being in charge.  She runs a business and an underground organization and she doesn’t tolerate people who don’t give her the respect she think she deserves.  However, Pipituu is in all ways in equal in the marriage.  They both approach their relationship as a partnership with each side giving equal amounts of effort. In public decisions Mijisaa takes the reins of course but in private they value being equals.

 

If anything, Mijisaa’s mind just doesn’t consider sex that often.  She’s entirely too focused on other things for that to be on her mind.  If a person is capable and can do the job she needs them for, she could care less about their sexual preferences and/or leanings.   Seeing public displays, flirting, or whatever would not both her.  She’d just chalk it up to people not being as busy or focused as she is.  If someone flirted with her, she’d probably shrug it off.  She was once young and heiress to a very large family fortune/business so she had plenty of suitors come and go.

 

Prostitution is interesting with her.  She acknowledges that it is a necessary part of city life, that it’s always been there.  Mijisaa already is involved with plenty of shady things (i.e. gambling rings, blackmail schemes, smuggling, market manipulation, saloons, illegal liquor/drug trade) but prostitution is something she stops at, the one thing she won’t be involved in.  As far as she’s concerned, if someone wants to buy drugs and ruin themselves, she doesn’t care.  However, prostitution can have an innocent party.  Mijisaa has been known to buy prostitutes and bring them into her home to free them and give them jobs as servants or in her business.  She’s quite involved with refugees and orphans in Ul’dah (after all, her husband was one once) so prostitution can easily be tied to those groups.

[K'nahli]

You know, all of these comments about PDA have gotten me very interested in imagining how K'nahli, my tribal miqo'te would react were she to witness it in Ul'dah/Thanalan. In her culture, anything of the sort is only permitted to occur between a coupled female and her chosen nuhn - and even then it's not something that is flaunted in others' faces; so simply seeing such behaviour would definitely earn her attention and then from that it would remind her of the outsiders' ways in which they possess the freedom to choose their mates.

 

Her reaction could vary quite a bit depending on what she saw and how it happened. She could just as easily pass a discreet and persisting eye in their direction as she observed them with a shy curiosity as she could snap her head away in disgust. What would make it incredibly interesting though is that she mayyyy be in the presence of K'rahto the next time she finds herself in Ul'dah. K'rahto is a tia that has pretty much openly expressed his intense infatuation with K'nahli in the best way that a tia can without violating their tribe's ways. To quote him during the relevant scene:

 

 

"I..."

 

He tried, and that felt like the most difficult thing he'd ever done. Then again, confessing for the first time had also been. Inhaling deeply and tightening his fits, K'rahto turned his own annoyance, his own frustration into the fuel he needed.

 

"The Nunh can have every other huntress in the world," he finally said, his tone murderous and full of venom. "But you... You..."

 

The look in K'nahli's eyes stole his breath once more. K'rahto's expression changed again, losing a part of his aggressiveness. He found himself staring at her with something akin surprise, lost into that he'd never have. Her.

 

Words simply came out then. They sounded like a realization, strangely calm and honest. And wrong

 

"I'd kill for you, K'nahli Yohko..."

 

 

That scene absolutely murdered K'nahli(and me). She was incapable of perceiving herself as anything that could be viewed as attractive to the opposite sex largely due to her cold personality(though she would be very modest about her physical attributes as well) so even though some time has passed since that scene there is still a great deal of discomfort between the two... and that's while they are in or near the comforts of their own home. Visiting Ul'dah will be a horribly awkward but fun scene to play, hahaha.

 

As a result, I am half hoping she actually witnesses something of the kind while near him just for the sake of playing with her emotions on the matter.

[Jana]

Too bad Nat's gone, she was my favorite source of public embarrassment for Jana.

 

I talked about Jana's views IC, but not OOC views. I'm really up for whatever happens during te course of RP, though I won't permit it to leak OOCly. ...I don't think there's really much else for me to say, though.

[Oscare]

The only self doubt Oscare carries (and he will NEVER show it without a fight) is sexual doubt. Oscare firmly believes that on both a romantic and sexual level, he is incredibly undesirable. He always keeps this 'fact' in the back of his head, which is why the poor guy is as emotional as a rock. He has way too much esteem to compensate his something.

 

He's just that socially inept and emotionally unstable to think anyone thinks or sees him that way. Poor doof.

[Chillsmack]

Doendraga is a virile, charming buccaneer who "port hops" as often as he bar hops: he loves strong drink and he loves less-than-modest company. The man leads a life that prevents him from settling down in one place for long, so why think he can settle down with one person?

 

To hear him describe his views on sex would be to subject you to crude, yet strangely illuminating, "pirate's wit" that would last maybe a few sentences at best. But if you want to dig into his character development from a psychoanalytical third-person...*stretches the typing fingers*...

 

Doendraga is highly objective beneath his seemingly care-free exterior, and his views on sexuality and the actual act of sex reflect this perspective just as it paints his personality (he is so objective and detached from things that he is borderline-nihilistic, but that same nihilism ironically leads him to be hedonistic rather than...you know...emo lol). As such, ERP - if and when it comes up - is a natural expression of his characterization, though he is really the only character I have who is more suited to a lifestyle of casual flirting and sex. He's a charismatic, rough-around-the-edges swashbuckler with a loose recognition of social norms which is a personality that lends poorly to celibacy, so not exploring his physical attractions and the culminations of his charms would close off a part of his psyche that can inspire a great many other developments both internal and external.

 

From within the mind of the character, the assignment of symbols and meaning to sex is something that is constructed by society. Sex is natural - almost reflexive- and thus sexual behavior of any kind is acceptable, which makes it practically ubiquitous, and in that ubiquity it is meaningless...at least for someone like Doendraga it most certainly is: he is more likely to have casual sex than truly intimate moments, and beyond that sexual "arrangements" rather than committed relationships. Even something as non-physical as flirting is largely harmless in his eyes, which is also why he is an opportunistic flirt (it doesn't mean anything, and so he can and will do it just for the sheer pleasure of it).

 

Ultimately, if he feels like giving it up, he will, and if you feel like it, he thinks you should too. 

 

Because he doesn't invest specific meaning in sex, he is open-minded in the act itself: he's not shy about making his intentions or desires known, whether that is for or against a physical encounter (he is still, after all, a man of discerning tastes), and regardless of how an encounter ends - and regardless of the details of who was was in what position - it, again, doesn't mean anything. What he wants, he does, and in that aspect he is always the dominant one regardless of whether he chose to play the aggressive or the passive party. His tastes are never static.

 

Centering his perspective around the meaningless of sex and the fulfillment of carnal desires that are wholly natural, he sees relationships as the complicated element of social interaction, rather than sex. He is far more comfortable in bed with a stranger than he is with a romantic interest who wants to share their feelings. Any romantic gestures from Doendraga are, in fact, for the fun of the moment not the desire to cement something for the future, and anyone struck by how charming he might seem should be wary about looking too deep: he may "love" you, but it's a shallow love at best.

 

The way he sees it, either of you can be dead tomorrow.

[Oyuu]

Hi all, just like to say this thread has been an interesting read and good job keeping it on track! Thought I'd put my two cents in.

 

Onua is demisexual. He would love a person for the way they act and who they are beyond appearances, genders, race etc. He can only see himself wanting to have sex if it was someone he loved deeply and feel very connected to, and the act would be something very intimate and private. He would aim to please his partner rather than himself, as he sees himself as a giver more than a receiver. It would be very sweet and there would be lots of flowers blooming and birds singing and a fade to black. Since the act itself isn't really his thing, I don't see why I would need to RP it, so I would just focus on the emotions involved rather the er doing. In regards to other people's sexuality, he doesn't really give a toss. He's met all sorts of characters in Ul'dah and from what he's experienced their sexual preference and activity isn't the most important thing to be worried about...   

 

OOC I've never ERP'd before and I'm not really looking to ERP either, on Onua especially. But I guess if it happens it happens, as long as it's IC, adds something to my and my partner's characters' story and the experience itself is enjoyable, instead of awkward and embarassing... I'd never look down on someone who is all about ERP, or isn't about it at all. I've roleplayed with courtseans, tavern flirts to innocent virgins and they've all been fun and that's what I'm all about.

[Kellach Woods]

I dunno why everyone's giving their opinion on ERP still we had like another thread to do that. Let consenting adults do whatevs, and laugh at the hilarious MTs (though not at the person who made them!), such as an incident last night where someone allegedly MTd futa ERP in a Hunt LS.

 

* * *

 

Kell's thoughts on the subject are, as many would guess, confused. It didn't take him very long to figure out he was pretty much attracted to everything and everyone. Since he wasn't the one to take up the farm, he was pretty much free to do whatever, and that also included choice in partner. The confusion doesn't stem from there, but rather from inexperience and not knowing if that type of thing is accepted or even tolerated in Eorzea. At least, at first, he's since then learned that nobody cares.

 

He's also figured out that if anyone he found attractive were to seduce him, he wouldn't say no. However, he wouldn't actively seduce anyone, instead relying more on his feelings to guide him when with anyone else. If he feels that they should be doin' it, then he'll probably ask, if not then it won't be him that brings it up.

 

Don't mistake him for someone who'd be shocked by PDAs or even lewdness. He's made some lewd comments before, and shows a general understanding of how it works.

[Melodia]

Speaking from Melodia's perspective, I would say it has a fairly big role. She's a bit promiscuous ICly and though she wants to settle down she enjoys being a sexually active single woman. She's never had the time to enjoy being with someone when she was a teen and is in a way, free for the first time and enjoys that.

 

That said, she's also highly against prostitution as she views it akin to a mild form of slavery. So for her view sex is a very blurred but acceptable line so far as it's between consenting adults.

 

Yeah she's a bit of a hypocrite.