Zhavi

Glad you were able to find some rp, even if on another game. Best to you and yours!

...just....just bear with me here, are you trying to strike up rp with people standing around the railings in the Quicksand? Because ah, yeah it will be much harder to get rp going with them, because generally they're looking for certain specific erp things. I'd suggest either going to events or reaching out to people oocly to arrange rp. Also, if you haven't already, get into server and cross-server discords -- between here and there you'll get a feel for where the rpers are who are more interested in rp than what's between your character's legs and what lego pieces you want to play with.

I've always been the aggressive one in asking for rp. I usually get what I want. Not because I'm anything special, but because I am tremendously persistent in seeking people out. Kylin posted this wonderful post here, I remember him from way back and never got to rp with him because characters, so I sent him a pm. Now we have rp scheduled. You're not always going to hit it off with people. Your OOC RP philosophy might be different, the characters might not mesh well (and I mean that in a sense that the effort required to arrange situations for them to interact outweighs the fun the players are having), your writing styles might be too different, the directions you want out of plot and character story might be too different -- there are so many areas where you might not mesh. The most successful rp partners I've had are people who are as invested in planning rp with me as I am with them, who work with me to find similar rp directions, and who aren't afraid to concrit my shit if I go off the rails. I tend to wind up with a host of rp acquaintances I can call upon for certain rp things (and, likewise, they can hit me up for small little scenes), but stick to one or two people at a time that I spend the most time plotting and planning and writing with. Yeah, it takes a lot of time and effort to find those people, but once you do, man, you are set. But you know, irl strikes sometimes, or this or that (I've had my share of burnouts, too, where I start out strong and something takes me out for months), so you wind up back in the ring scouting for new people to rp with. I don't think that's a bad place to be -- you can meet some pretty damn cool people that way that you wouldn't have otherwise. It ain't over until it's over, you know? If you're feeling the itch, keep putting yourself out there. You'll get what you're looking for eventually. And yes I am the most optimistic shit sometimes. #noregrets

I think as long as you're open to receiving suggestions (even if you don't act on them), you'll do well! Some people are more open to lore bending than others, but there is a huge variety of roleplayers on Balmung, and so long as you put yourself out there you'll find your people. Also, don't underestimate the power of building big stories off of small chunks of rp! Me and my main rp partner usually only find time to rp once every week or every other week, but I'd say our stories tend to be big -- just on the slow side. Good luck, have fun, and welcome!

While I'm not rping much outside of my circle these days, I just wanted to encourage you! Putting yourself out there is the first step to beating back those anxiety blues when looking for rp. You might strike out a few times, but you've got yourself a neat character and a good attitude, so as long as you keep trying you're bound to make some awesome connections. Keep at it and I hope you find yourself some great rp partners!

I used to be pretty nitpicky, but then I learned to let it go because everyone makes mistakes, and more than that, some people have learning disabilities or bad teachers or have some things they struggle with (I know a guy who's a journalist who has this issue with like almost all of his new writers, to the point that I'm beginning to wonder if it's probably the school system that's failing). Ask them if they're interested in some grammar/spelling tips. If not, man, learn to let it go. That said, I've rped long enough that I've seen peoples' writing improve just by exposure to others who are consistent with rules, which in and of itself is really damn rewarding.

I was hoping you were gonna be like some mid fifties person. Ah well, welcome!

For me, in rp, it boils down to this: treat others how they wanna be treated. If for whatever reason you can't or don't want to, then just leave them alone. Whatever you play. Whatever anyone else plays. RP is a personal hobby, and everyone has a different way of enjoying it. What I enjoy, I know a lot of people don't -- and that's okay. I don't expect them to rp with me. I find people who enjoy what I have to offer and actively wanna participate, just like I find people who offer what I enjoy and actively wanna participate in. If everyone was the same and did the same thing it's highly likely it'd be stuff I don't fully enjoy.....so I'm a big fan of everyone having their own style and doing their own thing. Just don't force your way on others, you know? I think that's what the OP intended, but didn't necessarily realize that not everyone plays in a way that is negatively impacted by the things the "manifesto" is trying to correct. Just talk to people when they do something you don't like (if you don't want to talk beforehand), try to find ways everyone can have fun. If you can't, move on. edit - for what it's worth, I think this is totally a valuable conversation to have, and I always think it's valuable to try to improve other peoples' experiences.

It's always hard for exactly that reason. To me though, when it gets to a point where you are so uncomfortable or feeling off that you go to a greater community for advice, you've already reached the point (or are very close to it) where the threat of that discomfort or things falling apart is starting to outweigh letting things continue as they are without the messy potential conflict from confrontation. Start slow and casual, make an offhand comment, see how he reacts. But there is a point where your discomfort is not worth his comfort, you know?

The way I see it is the only way to fix issues with people when they do things that make you uncomfortable is to have the uncomfortable conversation about it. It's always a risky conversation, because sometimes people take it poorly -- but to my mind the kind of person who isn't willing to take a few lumps in order to resolve misunderstandings/miscommunications/whatever aren't the kind of people who I'd be comfortable rping with longterm. Because RP is, to me, a cooperative thing. Well, in order to cooperate well with someone you gotta put your cards on the table. You can be tactful about it. "Wow, your character certainly knows a lot about mine's favorite things! How's he finding all that out?" Maybe he's been talking to someone else who knows her really well, so it doesn't need to be an aggressive confrontation. But if it does turn out there's some ic/ooc boundary issues, let him know that kind of thing ruins your immersion. edit - also, another thing. Irl, if someone mysteriously knows all your favorite shit, that tends to come across as creepy. For me personally, I start wondering exactly how they know (then again, I also tend to be a very private person, so it usually means someone is talking/asking or doing some serious online stalking). So over time, you can also have your character start to feel a little stalked or however it might make her feel. Contrarily, if she's very exuberant and open and talks a lot to a lot of people, maybe it isn't so strange that he could find all that stuff out icly.

Yeah, agreed. But that's the obvious biological function of those things. I guess someone could open that can of worms into theoretical territory about biological functioning of this and that, but I'm not learned enough about cat biology to do so. I just go by what makes sense to me -- using what appendages you have to communicate body language, help with better sensing, very basic stuff. But yeah none of my miqo'te lick their hands and wash their faces or other body parts or sleep most of the day in patches of sunlight or chase yarn or that kind of stuff. They're people with minor cat traits that are, most of the time, background noise in the overall scheme of behavior.

It's not, if that's your bag. The point I was trying (am trying, and poorly at that) to make is that to me having catlike features like slitted pupils or cat ears or a cat tail isn't synonymous with being a cat. You might do things similarly, but to me the majority of those behaviors are cultural in nature, or else we'd see them blanket-wide across all miqo'te npcs because no matter their upbringing they wouldn't be able to help it. But I'd never be one to witch hunt people for rping what they wanna rp, y'all should know that by now.

I was thinking about the ruff behind the head, so like...head hair.

Having common ancestry with a cat (or a primate, for that matter) doesn't mean you carry over all of the same biological traits. Sure, I imagine some of the reactions to stimuli are similar (ear wobbling, tails for balance)...but to me that doesn't mean that miqo'te have a flehmen response, or that their hair stands up in a ruff when they get startled or scared, or that they bare their teeth and hiss. They're not cats in the same way we're not monkeys, imo. The rest of it is just humor, to me!

There's earth "feline" ... and then there's Hydaelyn "feline." To me, the Hydaelyn "feline" has less to do with earth catlike behaviors, and more to do with social grouping instincts/behaviors that play off in tribal cultures but are socially learned. Y'shtola's (instinctual) behaviors and actions, for example, are nothing that couldn't be found somewhere in our world, by a human and not anything I'd attribute solely to being catlike in the earth sense. So that's how I roll! But people can play whatever they like, yeah. It's all interpretation in the end, and just like I like to delve into the grey areas of lore and do my thing sometimes, ain't skin off my back if people do the same in other areas.

I too would like to know. I dug through settings thinking maybe the opt-in got reset, but didn't see an option for an opt-in so figured maybe there's no sort of functionality to make that happen?

Hence the 'do you have to reach out to these people? of course not.' I've been in the position of recruitment before, in a highly competitive buyer's market. I know the pain, and I know how exhausting it can become. My point wasn't that it's necessary to FC operation, it was that if any FC feels like their recruitment pool is exhausted, sending messages to people through ooc means after viewing their wiki or bio or whatever, is an option. An aggressive and time consuming option, yes, but an option nonetheless. I wouldn't have suggested it if I hadn't met fcless or unhappy/undersaturated rpers that way time and time and time again. It was not intended as criticism or an implication that FC leads/officers aren't already working hard (not that you took it as such, I'm just not sure if maybe it was worded in such a way as to be taken that way).

I took down our recruitment while we readjust what we actually want to do, but for those recruiting you have to be -really- careful with that because it could look like your guild poaching, and the last thing you want is to look bad in another FCs eyes during this time. Ah, forgive me, my intention in writing that was to address rpers who are in a friend's fc oocly, or who are in more of a pve fc that doesn't cater to rpers or have a story. Over time, I've seen a few people who had their characters plopped into a FC for this or that benefit, and still be looking for another FC with the blessing of current FC. Sometimes you do things for your friends but not intend to stay or whatever, you know? In any case, if someone is looking for a RP FC but has a tag on, it might have inadvertently made it harder for them because people already in FCs would assume that's where they want to be. The point I intended to make was simply that you can approach someone with sensitivity to the fact that they might be in a FC (in a lot of ooc character posts, it doesn't say whether they are or not), and simply word it as a rp request or a 'not sure if you're already in a FC' sort of deal. edit - This kinda boggles me. I've really yet to see an FC publicly open to recruitment with some ridiculous standards for entry. Not saying it's not out there! I just haven't seen it in a good long while. Yeah, maybe there's an app. And your character has to meet people ICly. But if that's all a little much then I'd question whether the person has found the right hobby. Whether or not any single person feels it's right, the years and years of posts on this very forum have proven that there are a lot of rpers who wish to write but have a hard time overcoming the initial round of communication. Whether they are shy, or anxious, or simply going about things in ways that do not work: they exist, they want to rp, and they can't find their people. RP and online interaction can be a way to overcome some of those social difficulties, but it also stands that sometimes giving people an outstretched hand can avail you a broader spectrum of people for rp. Do you have to reach out to such people? Of course not. But it remains that they are there, and they tend to be the ones currently transferring to Mateus because for whatever reason they haven't been able to find their jam here.

I would say if any FC feels their membership is suffering -- really try to reach out to players of exceptional characters oocly. I mean yeah, it's not ideal, but at this point the people savvy enough to find your fc and go for it are likely already there, leaving only the people whose efforts have (for whatever reason) failed. Or, maybe they got caught up in a friend's fc or this or that and just got lost along the way somewhere. If this thread has shown me anything, it's that there's a lot of folks who feel like the barrier to entry is high enough to be discouraging. From the end of an established fc, it likely doesn't feel that way at all, but you know, not everyone is the same, and we've seen time and time again that shyer rpers have a wicked hard time making that initial approach. Sometimes people just need some one on one outreach. But, of course, no one is obligated to do that outreach. If, however, y'all are inclined, I would encourage it.

I would say, focus less on a server and more on finding a person or small group who have similar limited times to rp but whose limited times correspond with your limited times. Check out server discords, post in making connections here, dabble in tumblr. Putting money down after finding a group who will celebrate your ability to be online with what limited time you have and understand (perhaps even empathize) will be a much more rewarding feeling than casting about and feeling lost and frustrated. However, do note that finding people who match all your needs will take some time and energy investment for you (unless you get lucky). There's no rush. Take your time, do it when you have the time, and learn as you go. There are some really phenomenal people here, but as with most things if the social aspect of the game is what really sells it for you, try to find that first.

Start headhunting, man. Even people who aren't playing IF characters, if they are even vaguely martial, convince them. ...if you already are, disregard.

My thought is more that not every group has to grow to be big or established. It's one thing if you're looking for a big, established group to rp with -- I absolutely agree with you there -- but surely not everyone struggling to find new storylines wants or needs that in their rp? Small groups of 2 (if that counts) to 5 people are relatively easy to put together and work through rp plots. Too, I've tied such micro groups to larger fcs, when necessary. But yeah, the failure rate when doing that is higher then trying to integrate into something with a core of people, probably (chachan pointed that out in chat). That counts as a barrier to entry, too.

I guess, too, I have never so much been inclined to find groups to rp with, for the most part -- while I'll help friends with theirs, I've always found that my favorite ff rp is when I find one or two people and establish our stuff for however it lasts until we reach the end and move on to other stuff (or, as sometimes happens, we drift apart or it doesn't quite come together). But I guess if you're primarily interested in FC rp then yeah, I can see how that would be problematic. Why don't more people who aren't already entrenched in a group start stuff together? Lack of desire to spearhead something? Or more a desire to become part of building something that's already started? Less risk?

Hm, maybe the issue is more that established players know how to find new/returning/unable to find niche players in order to start new storylines, whereas those new/returning/unable players go for groups and feel stuck when they can't find their people, because they can't make those connections fast enough. Because while I met new people since the lock, and engaged in new stuff with them, I can also say that most of them were kinda on their last legs, so to speak, in feeling like they might need to move elsewhere for lack of being able to find others to mesh with. Maybe my bias in being able to hunt people down for rp is really coloring my server experience beyond the norm for other people not as familiar with where and how to look, Iunno.

But also, you know, you gotta count that some people like hyper focused rp and some people don't. A lot of the discontent in people who voiced it and left was that they weren't able to integrate into hyper focused rp, and couldn't find enough wider focused rp that suited them. Don't forget -- entire established groups up and left Balmung for Mateus. But if I can't creep on their chatter on the forums, I have no idea what they're doing and can't comment on that rp. I don't put any effort into searching out the rp/stories posted on tumblr, so I'm not seeing that, either. It is wholly possible that Mateus has that kind of rp, I just am not seeing it. Also, I still do see a lot of open world rp on Balmung, especially when farming. But even back in 2014, the open world stuff that I saw and participated in on Balmung was still pretty tightly plotted stuff. Not to say that all of it was, but it had a different feel than what I get out of open world Mateus stuff. It could simply be a function of people who wanted something different than what is up per usual on Balmung moved, and that could shape the overall community. It's hard to comment on the whole of something though, in any case, when you're not seeing the whole picture. It would be useful if someone who is well integrated into Mateus rp groups could comment, haha.