The Confession Room - Share your tales of your own derps here

[Rakoh]

So we have the Vent Tent for venting about those times where you run into that terrible PUG player. But what about the times when you were that player? You know the times were you were the one that done fucked it up and caused that wipe. Feel free to share them here.

 

Will start with a couple of mine:

 

I was in a T9 clear group onto the divebombs phase. I ran the wrong way for the second Divebombs and didn't realise until I had Bexy screaming "REEEEIKOOO! WROOOONG WAAAY!" inn complete and utter terror on TS.

 

Another T9 clear group: I tried to be clever and Aetherial Manipulate away from a Meteor. It usually works fine, but this time I hit it a bit too soon and land the meteor on top of someone's head, killing them and wiping us.

 

A was helping a group of people clear Titan HM and was bragging about how easy it is for me to solo heal on SCH. I then got kicked off by the first landslide.

 

Leviathan Ex farm party. I hit the Aetherical Converter too soon. I had the entire group just stare at me awkwardly for a few moments before Leviathan murdered us all.

 

"Don't worry guys! I can Perfect Dodge this laser!" - Rahal on TS shortly before a Particle Beam in World of Darkness

[Aaron]

Double post

[Aaron]

I drag gigantic toads to afk players and let them body slam said afk players before running away.

 

Raid wise. I tanked t5 and had one of those moments where one spaces out and just stares at the neurolink instead of getting in it. Didn't even realize I was dead till I saw AARON in the chat.

[Bexy]

I too, have had a few of these. And i can confirm the above are true.

 

My face still aches from the Meteor. Thanks Reiko. You butt.

 

...And from the double cauterize into wall combo.

 

 

Anyway!

 

Bad things i have done:

 

Gone a bit crazy with the DPS in titan HM. On a Gaol. With our only living healer inside. During landslide phase. I am sorry.

 

In a critical part of one of the fights, of which i don't remember.. Tried to swiftcast raise someone. Only to swiftcast Aero. Because, you know.. In case it didn't cast fast enough.

 

Shouting out on TS for everyone to dodge Lunar Dynamo in T9, only for me to not actually dodge it myself, and get killed by Meteor Stream.

 

Also, a few that... Sort of weren't my fault. My controller went through a phase where it would occasionally not respond. And by not respond, i mean... It would just keep doing what i last made it do. Like run. Into a wall. Or off a cliff. Or away from the AOE.

...Or with Blue golem in T9 when i have aggro, straight into Red golem and me into the subsequent wall.

 

And finally, a derp, but not quite a derp.

 

Chrysalis. Went on WHM to help a friend. Popped shroud/Presence of mind/Divine seal and went crazy inside the tear. Not forgetting that aggro still carries over. Proceed to get out of tear. Have Rahal shout at me because he cannot get that aggro back.

 

The floor was delicious. We still won, though, so worth it in my books.

 

Bonus: Remember witchdrop? Every tried jumping over it on a mount, thinking it's a shortcut?

 

It isn't.

 

I fell, a long way, and proceeded to gorge on my own kneecaps.

[Virella]

Back in the ye old days, before ponies dropped like mad, my FC used to do Geruda farms. I think I killed that shit for about 3 months straight every goddamn weekend (and never ended up getting the pony, because some random fuck from my EU FC would come in, snatch pony away and never log in. And this is when they were still super rare. RUGHHGFDHJFDHJ)

 

Long story short, eventually I got so bored of it, and solo healing it as WHM was a breeze, so I decided to take a few glasses of alcohol. A few became a bit more, and before I knew it, I was completely wasted while I was doing this. Guess who couldn't move away from the spiny AoE in time. Yeah that was me.

 

And doing t13 in first person because I was so bored did not work out all that great either.

 

I do stupid things when I get bored

[Rakoh]

I did the Witchdrop thing Lv40 and got punched in the face by the Voidsent at the bottom. It was not pretty.

[Steel Wolf]

First-time fighting Scylla. First-ever raids, feeling pretty damn good after having beaten LotA....still, pretty well nervous. First-time.

 

So that fight comes up, and holy shit. I watched a video as preparation, but it did NOT have me ready for experiencing all of the utter, complete madness that was going on. I scrabbled around like a beheaded chicken, being alternately frozen, burned and otherwise just rekt.

 

Then, when I died, I ported out in my panic, watching at the outskirts as a myriad of random-ass lazors went off.

 

That first experience was all of my raiding fears come true, and I got carried like a motherfluffer that night.

[Nebbs]

Shield Oath, back in the day when it fell off in death.

 

People made huge text macros to remind me to put it on.

[Martiallais]

Hnnnngh Titan EX.

 

I died to weight of the land (a bit of lag making me eat about 4 at once) nearly EVERY time it popped up. Then was promptly knocked off the platform.

 

This happened pretty much every time I ran it until I (mostly) learned the pattern and started trying to move to anticipate the reactions. When I finally did clear it, I was able to stay on, without dying until Titan was at about 15% left.

[FreelanceWizard]

When I wipe a party, I go big and wipe the whole raid. In WoD, back before I knew how the mechanic worked exactly, I put Eye for an Eye on the MT, who was carrying a chain, right before Reawakening finished. The chain vanishes, and hilarity ensues.

 

Oops.

 

In a run before that, the group told me to pick up the chain, then hold it to get free DPS. I don't notice the time on it running out. It vanishes out of my hands right before Reawakening finishes.

 

Oops.

 

I always forgot to put Shield Oath back up after level sync or dying, back when it wasn't persistent. I tried to tank Titan HM that way (my first time tanking it, and my third relic), lost threat to a healer, and wiped the raid.

 

Oops.

 

In T8, a Bard and I are covering the Dreadnought and Landmines towers, respectively. We're doing well until they both activate at the same time. I wait a second or two to delay, then start triggering mine, only to find that they've both ended up charging at the same rate. The MT calls this out on TS, and so I run to my tower to trigger it, thinking, "I'll save the day!"

 

Little did I know my partner had done the same thing.

 

I hear the distinct sound of two towers charging at the same time and say over TS...

 

"Oops."

[Sounsyy]

I have so many. So so so very many. ^^

 

Back in the day I tried to do Titan HM as DRG. For the record I hate Primal fights with a raging passion. I tried to avoid a quicksand with Elusive Jump. I succeeded... in back-flipping off the edge of the arena right before Heart phase. Merp, no melee LB.

 

That awkward moment after ST came out and SE decided to change the way LotA's last boss flare burst attack works to make it so WARs with over 10k HP couldn't survive the attack. Only I didn't realize they had changed it. So I died. How embarrassing.

 

I've lost track of how many times I've done drunk (I mean shwasted) CT and dungeon roulette runs with my FC... and hilarity ensued.

 

As PLD in T7 I used to accidentally petrify the whole team grabbing adds. That's a thing that has happened.

 

My Coil static ran T8 with two BRDs, because that was my off job and you don't need an off-tank for most of Second Coil. So our main BRD was Homing Missle and Brainjack Bitch. I was Mines and Ballistic Bitch. This one time (okay let's be real, it was many times) I used Repelling Shot right before Ballistic Missles went out. I, of course, got locked with a large and so did the other person. Let's just say we wiped. Then another time I repelling shot into the Dreadnaught Tower and spawned that early. That was also a wipe. Our other BRD used repelling shot during a Brainjack, our confuzzled tank runs after, turning Avatar and one-shotting the entire party. Fun times!

 

In T11, as WAR, I forgot to voke off other tank a few times and just watched him get Second Head. God I miss the screamin.

[Steel Wolf]

Oh! I have another one!

 

"Hey, let's farm Odin!", I'm asked in my then-FC. Sure. I only tanked him a few times, but I know the rotation and there were no other options available.

 

Basically, I felt like the third-string cornerback facing the starting defensive line. So much PLD sucking, and three wipes as a result of my own derping.

 

Shortly after the first kill, the "farm party" breaks up.

 

I drank rather heavily after that one.

[Ryanti]

Oh my god I have so many. And a lot of them are recent.

 

I could mention some right now.

 

T13, being mesmerized so much by Ankh Morn that I simply watched the Warrior use Holmgang and forgot to cover him. So I basically just sat there and watched him die.

 

Countless times on T7 back before the nerf of destroying my friends with the scream. Sometimes when I was tanking someone I would turn around but the hitbox would still be hit and they would still get stacks. Being annoyed at the healers until I realized it had 5 stacks GG.

 

Wondering why the Ninja/Dragoon/Black Mage pulled hate before realizing I don't have shield oath on. In a T13 farming party. After the patch that kept it on.

 

I could go on and on.

[Blue]

"Mass Derp moment! So my static and I were having a cool party, was fun, lots of food (my MNK friend enjoyed it a lot in particular), and the company was pleasant.

 

Shit however went down the drain FAST when a PUG (weird guy(chick? you never know these days), seemed to have some communication deficiencies, wouldn't talk at all) that had come with us decided to go ahead and attack the boss on his own. I mean, wtf? you're not a tank, don't pull by yourself, especially when you're alone in the room and the whole group is behind (though we didn't really have a tank at all that time, we had recently got a WAR for that but she was gone quickly, but that's another story). So the PUG is quickly taken to the ground, but at that point we had aggroed the entire place. As if that was not enough, our BRD had gone off on his own and returned with a train of aggros that you wouldn't even imagine.

 

So my MNK friend and I decide to stay behind and try keep some of the aggro busy while the others make way for the zone. I shot a fireball to shut down a gate (even though later on, I realized we were on a circular platform, so that didn't end up helping much. derp). The others sprint away while my mnk friend and I start to whack some of the aggro. It was a pain without heals really, especially when my MNK friend's gear started to break (she didn't bother repairing before the duty, but she was always kind of dumb).

 

At some point I run out of MP and don't really know what to do. Somehow I was so panicked I completely forgot of Transpose and so I just kinda let the mobs hit me without doing anything. LOL now that I think about it I could've casted sleep and just run away with the others.

 

But there's more! So we finally fill up the LB pool to lv3, and instead of using my THM LB and kill all the mobs before us, I told my friend to go ahead and use Final Heaven. A soldier died, and then the rest killed us. I felt sooooo dumb!"

 

- Papalymo

[Cessna]

First time running Syrcus Tower - I got to Scylla ahead of everybody else with a couple of people and proceeded to run to my alliance's waymark.

 

For some reason, it didn't occur to me that running straight through Scylla on my way to the back would result in me facepulling, and that's exactly what happened --

 

I locked everyone else out, and we wiped. Got yelled at a couple times (it was mortifying but dear lord I was laughing so hard I'm pretty sure I was running Syrcus half-asleep.) Good times, good times.

 

BONUS: A couple days ago I was helping my little brother run Praetorium and everyone sat down and told stories while the two new people were busy watching their cutscenes. I told them this exact story - guess who facepulled Ultima Weapon by sheer accident that very same run.

[LiadansWhisper]

This isn't from FFXIV, but it's funny (in my opinion, anyway).

 

So back in WoW's Cataclysm expansion, my guild at the time had been spending the better part of a week on this really hard boss named Rhyolith.  We cleared him just fine on normal difficulty, but Heroic was like...a brick wall.  So we were in there for something like 4 hours and one of the other healers, a guy named Lyloo, pipes up and goes, "Reta, (my character at the time) uh...did you just put that hat on?"  So I open my character pane and...

 

I had on a Chef's Hat.

 

Which had 0 stats on it, but helped you with cooking.  I'd been wearing the Chef's Hat the ENTIRE NIGHT.  THE WHOLE NIGHT.

 

I was like, "Uh...uhhhh....um...well...you see..."

 

I've also accidentally forgotten that I was wearing a Fishing Pole when it was time to raid, too.  :blush:  More than once.  :dodgy:

[cuideag]

I didn't know that the circle under mobs showed back/flank positions until a few months ago. I've been monking since launch. Maximum shame.

[Kage]

I've shared my own before.

 

The funniest ever one was in T9. We were setting up with a clear+seeing if someone meshed well with the merc group. Unfortunately one or two people had connections issues at the very worst moments. I was getting frustrated...

 

2nd Divebomb and I aetherial manip too early. Go "Oh shit oh shit" in TS3 and everyone could see me running away.

"Why is kage running away"

"Wait why is kage here-"

"ohhhshiiii-"

 

I watch on the outside as they all get flamebreathed/dived away.

 

:{

[OttoVann]

Pretty much all of my RP

[111]

Sometimes I wipe the raid and on teamspeak I go:

 

"Dammit Lag!"

 

But the truth is there was no lag and I'm just bad at this game.

[Kellach Woods]

I don't think I've intentionally underperformed.

Which makes it all the worse for all of those times I HAVE.

 

Such as my last WoD, where I faceplanted no less than 5 times.

[CallmeYahweh]

I've also accidentally forgotten that I was wearing a Fishing Pole when it was time to raid, too.  :blush:  More than once.  :dodgy:

 

Similar story -- Cata, guild was running Firelands, and doing heroic Beth'tilac, and we noticed that while our top dps at the time (a Destro warlock,) was parsing at the top of recount, his dps was considerably lower than normal and we couldn't quite make the phase transition. Turns out he had his fishing pole equipped.

 

God, I hated that raid.

 

EDIT: I will occasionally "accidentally" slip out of the boss barrier in LotA/Syrcus/WoD for bosses I don't like to fight. (Bone Dragon, Glasya, Cereberus respectively.)

[Rakoh]

In SWTOR I had a bit of a reputation as "The Pantsless DPS" for reasons you can imagine. Speaking of SWTOR, one of my best moments of derp was forgetting that if you hit an ability, you automatically cast it on the nearest target if one is not selected. Well I accidentally hit Force Lightning while standing near Dreadtooth with 10-15 (I can't remember the exact number) stacks which wiped all three of the raid groups we had put together to kill it.

 

Back to FFXIV: I once ran through all of T5 as a single Tank WAR without Defiance on and somehow stayed alive, right up until the Hatch Phase here I exploded to a Death Sentence hitting immediately after a Hatch.

 

Oh, there was the time in Snowcloak, first boss, where I was on BLM, explaining the fight and stressing the importance of killing Bombs.n Guess who started to tunnel vision and forget all about the bombs? This guy!

 

The first time I did World of Darkness on the day it launched, I picked up the Whilrwind debuff on the Dragon boss and wondered why everyone kept running from me. 5 seconds later the entire raid went up into the air and most of them ended up frozen to the floor.

[Caex Vaeriar]

I've turned the Storm from T13 around onto the party, only to have them get plummet one-shotted when I missed picking up the adds before as a Paladin. 

 

Hmn... I'm sure I've screwed up plenty while learning fights. <.<

[Caex Vaeriar]

I almost forgot, as a derpgoon...

 

I have, only once in my life, Elusive Jumped into the wall. Only once. And every dragoon gets just one, right?! D: 

 

As a Black Mage, I've Aetherical Manipulation'd into a random DPS trying to avoid an AoE... only to wind up in an even substantially worst AoE. <_< Often results in my death, that Aetherical Manipulation... 

 

As a Warrior, I've forgotten to turn Defiance on for taunt switches all the time. Sometimes I could swear I did only to realise I probably hit it too early (action lock) to activate it, and then cancelled it with another action. lol. 

 

I've said I was gonna holmgang / hallowed something before, pushed the button, and then realised I didn't have either skill up. This usually  results in instant-death. 

 

I've been cocky as a healer in T13 and said I could "handle solo healing it" as well, only to watch my tank HP suddenly explode into a burst of candy and confetti.