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Seriphyn

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This is easily the most soul-crushingly embarrassing and awkward type of thing to happen to me in FFXIV; sending a tell to someone you intend to RP with (like with an innocuous "Hi!") only to not get a reply. Maybe you might even risk a second hello, only to look like a total creep or something. But perhaps they're busy, and your tell was missed in a wall of text?

 

It makes me feel like a beta af cringelord. Tell me I'm not the only one to feel this!

 

please post in my thread

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Yes, you're not the only one. When it comes to meeting new people to RP with I'm usually the one to send the /tell or just a general walk up. However, If I don't get a reply after the third attempt I feel like a total creep and never bother again because it is in fact embarrassing lol. I let it slide if I'm very frequent with the person though because you never know, people AFK so often as I do.

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Hi. I'm probably the person who is guilty of not replying in some situations...But then again can you blame me for not being at the keyboard. There were a few rare moments where i had to apologize to some people who came up to my characters because i was AFK before the afk chair came on my head and they left. Makes me feel bad for it.

 

Whether i am making food, watching something on another monitor or so on while waiting for an event or once in a while casually emoting something to keep myself active ICly there are those times where i am on the the receiving end of those walk ups :(

 

Sorry.

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I just always assume people are AFK if they don't respond. Perhaps because I always end up getting /tells when I have to afk, even if I put the afk-chair on.

If people intentionally ignore it then I probably didn't want to speak with them anyways.

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Be sure that your chat is set up to show you the red error messages, because if the person you tried to send a tell to is in a Duty they can't receive your tell at all (not even for the sake of being able to reply to it later). Similarly, if you did leave them one successfully but they didn't reply (due to being AFK, perhaps) they may try to reply later and you're in a Duty and can't receive their response. Oops.

 

Yeah, the no-tells-in-Duty is a pain in the butt. It's nice in principle, to keep people focused while they're in a dungeon group, except that they can still chat in linkshells and Free Company chat, so it kinda fails. It'd be nice if they added a "tells inbox" that would cause all your Duty-intercepted tells to show up as soon as you get out, though.

 

If you try a tell and get no reply at all, think about sending them a mail or something.

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I typically have all of my game sounds turned off and so don't always see when I get sent tells. This makes it awkward because I'll be off crafting or doing daily quests or some such and end up looking like I completely ignored someone when really I am just awful at paying attention.

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I do pretty much what Crofte said.

 

I have honestly forgotten to go back and check for replies because I get so easily distracted.

 

Also I do go afk for a bit here and there, and when I come back, I don't scroll back to see if anyone sent me a tell since it usually means scrolling through LS and FC chat.

 

I never try and ignore anyone outright.

 

When I don't get a response to a tell for a long time? I assume the same thing happened on the other end too. I poke them again, and if that fails, I try another day!

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It's tough for me to do this, and every /tell to someone I don't know that well is a pretty major investment of my attention. I'm used to others approaching me, so oddly when it comes time for me to speak to others, the spaghetti falls out of my pocket and I can't help but ramble or lack assertiveness. It's easy enough for me to respond directly when someone sends me a /tell and I will always message back as promptly as I am able. If I don't respond it's almost always because I am in duty; I actually find time to respond to /tells even in the midst of RP because of my fast typing speed. I'm used to multitasking from work. If I'm not in duty and I don't respond, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be away from the keyboard.

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If I am not AFK I will almost always stop what I'm doing and answer a /tell.  If I miss a tell, I will answer it even if I think that person has long since moved on - unless it's a bot.  I don't talk to the bots.

 

I do not usually send /tells unless I know the player.  I usually strike up conversations in game the same way I do in life, I just start making small talk and see where that goes.

 

But if you see Mia Moui - send a /tell.  You're pretty much guaranteed that I'll answer.

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When it happens i play it off with my character.

 

"Hello miss how are you doing today!"

*5 minutes passes*

"Ahem I'm sorry but can i get a moment of your time?

*10minutes passed*

"Sheesh i seen shiva give less colder shoulders ah well."

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I've missed responding to random /tell only once and it -still- bothers me that I didn't get to it in time.

 

Was pulled into a duty right as it came through and when I got out, they were offline. Felt horrid for a bit after that. haha.

 

As far as sending random tells... Most go unheeded, but I know lots of people have wider networks than I and do not have the time to answer every little message.

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Type at them in all caps and do not go sparingly on the exclamation points,.

60% of the time it works every time......

 

That seems right.

 

:D

 

Seriously though i will send a msg and if no one replies i will either send in-game letter or PM here on RPC. If it takes someone days to get back to me or just do not get back to me I try not to take it personal and just move on. . .

 

As far as sending random tells... Most go unheeded, but I know lots of people have wider networks than I and do not have the time to answer every little message.

 

This makes me sad. Let's be friends - i will answer your tells in a timely manner because i can't imagine a scenario where i am so busy i cant be bothered to exchange pleasantries with a new acquaintance :>

 

----

 

I mean come now, being friendly costs nothing. If someone attempts to message me and I missed it to afk or busy with something, I write their name down and do my best to say hello next time and apologise for not getting to them when they msg me. Least I can do, no ?

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I used to feel awkward if I didn't get a reply, but not anymore. I got in the habit, when I was bored, of sending /tells to anyone who looked like a RPer asking if they were, what sort of RP they liked, and if they'd like to RP with me. I'd say easily 50% of them wouldn't reply for various reasons (afk, shy, thought I was a crazy stalker, etc), so I got used to that pretty quick.

 

As an aside, I heartily recommend doing this, especially if you're the sort of RPer who normally stays quiet and wishes they had more RP going on. It gets you in the habit of talking to people you don't know, it gets you in the habit of asking people about the RP they want (and honestly, you're far more likely to get interest from someone if they think you're interested in what they want), and it gets you a big-ass friends list full of people to RP with.

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I used to feel awkward if I didn't get a reply, but not anymore. I got in the habit, when I was bored, of sending /tells to anyone who looked like a RPer asking if they were, what sort of RP they liked, and if they'd like to RP with me. I'd say easily 50% of them wouldn't reply for various reasons (afk, shy, thought I was a crazy stalker, etc), so I got used to that pretty quick.

 

As an aside, I heartily recommend doing this, especially if you're the sort of RPer who normally stays quiet and wishes they had more RP going on. It gets you in the habit of talking to people you don't know, it gets you in the habit of asking people about the RP they want (and honestly, you're far more likely to get interest from someone if they think you're interested in what they want), and it gets you a big-ass friends list full of people to RP with.

 

I feel like this is very constructive advice. Cheers !

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As far as sending random tells... Most go unheeded, but I know lots of people have wider networks than I and do not have the time to answer every little message.

 

This makes me sad. Let's be friends - i will answer your tells in a timely manner because i can't imagine a scenario where i am so busy i cant be bothered to exchange pleasantries with a new acquaintance  :>

 

 

Hello new friend! <3 I entirely forgot I posted in here. My apologies!

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This is easily the most soul-crushingly embarrassing and awkward type of thing to happen to me in FFXIV; sending a tell to someone you intend to RP with (like with an innocuous "Hi!") only to not get a reply. Maybe you might even risk a second hello, only to look like a total creep or something. But perhaps they're busy, and your tell was missed in a wall of text?

 

It makes me feel like a beta af cringelord. Tell me I'm not the only one to feel this!

 

please post in my thread

 

I just assume someone's busy. If they don't respond, I just carry on. If I see them, I start role-playing. No one denies the power of some random role-play.

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I don't have this so much with tells, but I do have this in /say and /emote during RP. That chat bug that sometimes doesn't send out your messages made me SO paranoid, because I never know whether I am just being impatient or whether my message just didn't go through or vice versa.

Yeah, and I'm usually the one being hit by that dumb chat bug. Whether the message doesn't show up on my screen or when my posts don't go through. It gets old and annoying and I wonder if SE can even do something about it.

 

But the being ignored is something I run into every now and then. If the random person I want to RP with doesn't respond, then I just move on to something else. It sucks, yeah. But I try not to let it bother me.

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