Your character is now in a sales team.

[Kurt S.]

And they have to sell something (Uhhh vaccum cleaner?) 

 

Door to door. 

 

What would their sales pitch be? How would they market their product? How would they try to get customers to buy their stuff?

[Nebbs]

Just RP with Nebula to find out..  no spoiler here

[Kurt S.]

That would have been nice if my schedule didn't shove me into the graveyard shift of all the rp. 

 

EST mornings.

 

EDIT: Anyway to start off I guess...

 

Kurt.

 

'Well you know. You ARE getting this vacuum cleaner at a bargain. And you don't even need to step out of your house. Come to think of it, sir or ma'am, if you have a part of your house that needs cleaning I would be happy to demonstrate just how powerful this one is compared to all your other household items. Isn't it time you let yourself have that one quality of life upgrade?'

 

He'd be hands-on, 'I'll show you this thing works and it works like a charm' even if it makes him look like a home invader. And probably easily taken advantage of in his gusto to make a sale (that might never happen)

[Michaux]

This is an awesome prompt! (And yes, do RP with Nebula. She's lovely!)

 

Solenne: "It's really dangerous! No safety features at all. How can you resist?"

 

Michaux: [some obscure reference to Gelmorran cleaning practices goes here]

 

Leonie: "Just take the fucking thing, okay?"

 

Tatsu: "It's quite useful and cleans well, I think. And it comes in five beautiful colors!"

 

J'aeda: "This device is bulky and noisy. I would not recommend it. I will teach you how to make a broom from willow wands instead."

[Maril]

Nailah: Get your very own box of mysteries here! It comes with awesome and thought-provoking things such as a dead and alive cat, two mirrors that always face each other, swiss watches for witches that'll leave your tongue sore as well as a high tech device that occasionally lets you know that you are now breathing and blinking manually. For just 19.99 this could be all yours, BUT WAIT, THERE IS MORE - since the box of mysteries is likely to make your head explode, if you just pay an additional fee of 4.99 you can get the official, Box of Mysteries certified shovel and bucket, so your friends can scrape you up and keep you as a memento! 

Strike now!

 

Box of Mysteries Co takes no responsibility for any of the following events after use of Box of Mysteris: 

- Head explosions - Mental instability - Broken friendships - Choking - Slurred speech - Your lover walking out on you - Snapping and becoming a lalafell serial killer. Box may contain small pieces, keep out of reach of babies, toddlers and lalafell. 

[Aaron]

"Buy it and I'll leave you alone."

[Telluride]

Who ELSE would you hire to write your sales jingles?

[Vokcas]

*Throw sawdust over a rug* "You need to clean that up. How can you do that without cleaning device... Just as it happens I have one for sale"

[Warren Castille]

"Siddown, Castille." The pudgy hyur with the odd suspenders and balding head moved his stogie from side of his mouth to the other.

 

"Yes, sir." The highlander sat and drew himself up, aware of what was about to transpire.

 

"How many of 'dem aetheric dust absorbers didja sell this month?"

 

"None, sir."

 

"NONE! AGAIN! Dammit Castille, that's the third month in a row you ain't sold a damned one! Mind 'splainin' to me one more time how's that keep happenin'?"

 

"Well, sir, walking from door to door is obtrusive. Folks're cautious in Ul'dah when someone tries to offer them a sale without them seeking it out, and I don't think-"

 

"THINK?! I ain't payin' you to think! In fact, I ain't payin' you no more! Getcher ass outta here, you're fired!"

[Unnamed Mercenary]

"Well you see, it was actually a relic of the Allagan Empire reengineered and repurposed at the Ironworks in order to clean your home! I suppose for dust and other dry items, it would do an excellent job, but sadly, it does not handle liquids well. Keep out of reach from sylphs and small children and it can be yours for five easy payments of 200 gil."

[GloryRhodes]

Just gonna...  Leave this here...

 

http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=12956

[Miss Gaz]

*bought her own supply and wandered off eating cake*

[Tortles]

No pitch necessary.

 

 

But really, something along the lines of:

 

"Oh, a pleasure to meet you. Lovely home, you have here—I really do like Goblet houses, they have a certain charm. But you know, that desert sand is just everywhere. The storms kick in, people track it in, yeah? FORTUNATELY, I represent a merchant who makes a handy tool to help with that."

[AekiraSwyfte]

"Swyfte..." asked the haggard, older lalafell, as he took a seat at his desk. "What's this I hear about you assaulting a customer this morning?" His eyes were focused on the lanky, aloof fellow before him.

 

"Business was slow," the Hyur at the desk's other end replied. "I was frustrated. Besides, he was obnoxious."

 

"...So you punched him in the jaw?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Repeatedly?"

 

"Mmhmm."

 

"And proceeded to kick him in the ribs while yelling (and I quote) "Buy the fucking vacuum and suck your ass with it," while reportedly grinning like a madman?"

 

The hyur gave a sigh. "Really... REALLY obnoxious," Aekira replied. "He thought I was a prostitute. Must be the shoes."

 

"SWYFTE," the lalafell scolded. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but we CAN and PROBABLY WILL be sued dry for this!" 

 

"He BOUGHT the vacuum," argued Aekira.

 

"AND A RESTRAINING ORDER!"

 

There was a moment of silence between the pair, time the smallfolk manager used to press his fingers firmly to his temples, not so eagerly awaiting his soon-to-be former employees likely sarcastic retort.

 

"Well," Aekira eventually said, offering up a wolfish grin. "At least I served him with a smile."

 

((Needless to say, Aekira in retail... bad idea.))

[g0ne]

That would have been nice if my schedule didn't shove me into the graveyard shift of all the rp. 

 

EST mornings.

 

EDIT: Anyway to start off I guess...

 

Kurt.

 

'Well you know. You ARE getting this vacuum cleaner at a bargain. And you don't even need to step out of your house. Come to think of it, sir or ma'am, if you have a part of your house that needs cleaning I would be happy to demonstrate just how powerful this one is compared to all your other household items. Isn't it time you let yourself have that one quality of life upgrade?'

 

He'd be hands-on, 'I'll show you this thing works and it works like a charm' even if it makes him look like a home invader. And probably easily taken advantage of in his gusto to make a sale (that might never happen)

 

 

((Never ask Eleni to sell something for you. She might ruin it. By mistake or on purpose.))

 

Situation 1

 

The Seeker pouted as Kurt continued to explain to the lady how the vacuum worked. He was working away with a charm, advertising the product with skill that she had seen at vendors and proper markets. When all the hard work and flowery speech was done, the Hyur puffed his chest as he patted his back mentally at a job well done. 

 

And that was when Eleni spoke: "Yeah, but aren't we going to tell her that it will break down in two days and we'll then tell her it was her fault and she won't get a refund?"

 

"...oh? We weren't supposed to advertise that?"

 

Situation 2

 

"I'm serious. Buy it. Now. If you don't I'll put an arrow in your head."

 

Outcome

 

You really don't want her to advertise your stuff. ^ ^ ;

[TK Hikaru]

*Downs shot glass* "Here's my two weeks, see you later fucker."

[Verad]

Do . . . Do I really need to answer this?

[Chip]

This instantly made me think of this video. Just had to share

 

 

 

[video=youtube]

 

 

[GhostlyMaiden]

Nanagi

"Would you be interested in this vacuum cleaner? Well, you should be! Why? Because it'll keep the voidsent away at night. So....you should by it."

*proceeds to just leave it there because she doesn't have time for this BS*

 

Kanako

"Ya know, buyin' this vacuum cleaner is gonna make yer life a lot simpler. Ain't gotta worry about spendin' ferever tryin' t'clean yer house or wherever it is where ya work. Don' care about cleanin? Well that's a damn shame, because if ya buy this vacuum cleaner, ya get a free cupon t'get a free meal over at that culinarian place. Still not interested? Then I can even pitch in a maid t'do it fer ya. She'll do all the work fer free fer the first week. So, are ya interested now?"

*leans in closer*

"Oh, an' if ya hurt the maid, yer gonna regret it."

[Kurt S.]

Do . . . Do I really need to answer this?

 

Yes! For all those who wouldn't otherwise have the luxury of your dubious sales pitches! @u@-b

[Nodem]

~Yuki~

 

Yuki: *rings doorbell*

Homeowner: Hello?

Yuki: You buy suck device. *hits homeowner in head with a hammer*

Homeowner: *wakes up sometime later with a new vacuum and things of value missing* Guess I got to see the blades...

 

 

~Aoi's approach~

 

"I have no clue how this works..." Aoi tosses the vacuum aside and pulls out a steak knife set. "Let me tell you about these knives. They slice, dice, and cut your greatest foe into ribbons. A hundred percent doman made and forged. I can give you a demonstration if you'd like."