The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way

[Nebbs]

Off the wall but.. There is only OOC?

 

We decide what our characters do, no one else. We are not playing a part that someone else has written, we are responding to what is happening in a scene and then translating that to actions of a character.

 

So while there may be separation of context, there is no separation of responsibility. 

 

Now we are all flawed and have different norms, so friction will occur. If that is spoiling the enjoyment and can't be resolved IC, you need to talk OOC. Though even then, just because it is OOC does not mean things will be nice and smooth. 

 

People sometimes get along and sometimes they don't... that's just Life.

 

I disagree.  Certain things need to be kept separate -- one thing that I have seen happen too often is when two characters fall in love icly.  Now, it's fine if both of the players are romantically involved, too, but sometimes one of the players starts liking the other player, but that feeling isn't returned.  OOC stalking ensues, kills the rp, and leaves the player being stalked feeling unsafe and harassed.

 

Another thing is two characters have a disagreement, or a character does something really bad.  The other characters start to dislike that character.  OOCly, the players start to dislike the player of the bad character.  That player then becomes an outcast in the community, despite the fact that the player is nothing like the character.

 

Last one: Something bad happens to a character.  The player of that character takes the pain the character is going through and internalizes it until it gets to the point that the player is depressed with everyday actions, and the angst begins to affect the player's life.

 

These are a little extreme, yes, but they can and have happened before and clearly show that there should be a line between the characters and what they are doing, and the players' lives.  Yes, you're right that there will be some bleed-through, because we are the ones in control -- but there is a line that should not be crossed.  We are not our characters, and we do not live in the world our characters live in.  That must be acknowledged at all times.

 

We are playing pretend in a way that lets us have fun and experience occasional catharsis, nothing more.

 

I think you describe just normal interaction, RP as an activity may loosen some of the normal constraints but such trouble is not limited to the RP community.

 

I have tried many approaches, but I am left feeling that people's feelings are not bound by rules and their "self" will come through in the end. Everyone is flawed, so expect trouble.

 

Take guilds for example, they filter applications so that they narrow the people to a "type", even then every guild I have been in has troubles. People cause the troubles not the characters. 

 

My own approach is to be "casual" and not take it too seriously (I take RP seriously and prefer 100% IC, I hate OOC attempts to fix the outcome).On the few occasions I have gotten close to people due to great RP that leads to OOC friendship, it dies in the end. But then at my age that sometimes takes a long time and in some cases decades. The RP friends that I have that have persisted are those that I have a relaxed interaction with rather than any intense RP.

 

Maybe I am agreeing with you, and that deep involved RP goes too deep, and it is best to keep it more superficial with some hard separation. (or maybe that is not what you are saying?)

 

And.. to add.. if people do want to cross some conceptual line and not keep it separate.. I wish them luck. If it is consensual then I'd back it. But then I dislike imposed rules and stereotyping people.

[Zhavi]

 

I think you describe just normal interaction, RP as an activity may loosen some of the normal constraints but such trouble is not limited to the RP community.

 

I have tried many approaches, but I am left feeling that people's feelings are not bound by rules and their "self" will come through in the end. Everyone is flawed, so expect trouble.

 

Take guilds for example, they filter applications so that they narrow the people to a "type", even then every guild I have been in has troubles. People cause the troubles not the characters. 

 

My own approach is to be "casual" and not take it too seriously (I take RP seriously and prefer 100% IC, I hate OOC attempts to fix the outcome).On the few occasions I have gotten close to people due to great RP that leads to OOC friendship, it dies in the end. But then at my age that sometimes takes a long time and in some cases decades. The RP friends that I have that have persisted are those that I have a relaxed interaction with rather than any intense RP.

 

Maybe I am agreeing with you, and that deep involved RP goes too deep, and it is best to keep it more superficial with some hard separation. (or maybe that is not what you are saying?)

 

And.. to add.. if people do want to cross some conceptual line and not keep it separate.. I wish them luck. If it is consensual then I'd back it. But then I dislike imposed rules and stereotyping people.

 

The line is there to keep people safe. I mean. . .would you wish someone luck if someone started stalking you? I didn't just pull that out of my hat, I have known people who that has happened to, who showed me the messages, whose addresses were dug up, whose identities were revealed. It is not good. Too, I have seen instances where predators would use rp sites to dig up young players and try to gain their trust -- also extremely bad.

 

I'm not saying like, never allow any ic/ooc cross happen, I'm saying what Tiergan was saying -- do no harm. Don't allow the emotions the rp provokes in you to make yourself or someone else feel shitty irl. That ain't cool.

 

And yeah, I agree that some small part of yourself will come through, but the idea is to stop it from becoming something negative. If I am frustrated by something that happens icly, I don't take that frustration out on the people I'm playing with! I don't try to guilt them, or make them feel bad, or get angry with them! Similarly, I don't blame them for what happens. I might not like it, but rp happens, and imo it's key to understand that they are playing their characters the best way they can, just as I am with mine. Being willing to communicate, and not take things personally, is instrumental to having a good experience and helping those around you have a good experience, too.

[Nebbs]

I am having trouble understanding what you mean by this.  Are you saying there is not really an IC because all of our decisions are made OOC and thus all IC actions have the same weight and responsibility as OOC actions?  Because if so - I STRONGLY disagree and would honestly be really, really unsettled by this line of thinking.  That is like saying all villainous characters should bear the same kind of OOC weight as if they were commiting a rel crime.  Or that people in an IC relationship should be just as dedicated to their IC lover as their OOC lover.

 

There MUST be a separation or you are doing harm.

We have no more responsibility for our character's actions than an actor playing a character, or a writer writing a character's part.

 

Yes what Aya says. 

 

If you play an obnoxious character and push it to cause problems, or try to break other characters up.. then say it is not you it is the character.. no dice.

 

From another angle, RP is a cooperative endeavour in which we are all essentially co-authoring a shared story in real time.

 

This is more about intent and responsibility to be a positive part of the shared story. And that can equally be a baddie as a goody character and action.

[Nebbs]

 

I think you describe just normal interaction, RP as an activity may loosen some of the normal constraints but such trouble is not limited to the RP community.

 

I have tried many approaches, but I am left feeling that people's feelings are not bound by rules and their "self" will come through in the end. Everyone is flawed, so expect trouble.

 

Take guilds for example, they filter applications so that they narrow the people to a "type", even then every guild I have been in has troubles. People cause the troubles not the characters. 

 

My own approach is to be "casual" and not take it too seriously (I take RP seriously and prefer 100% IC, I hate OOC attempts to fix the outcome).On the few occasions I have gotten close to people due to great RP that leads to OOC friendship, it dies in the end. But then at my age that sometimes takes a long time and in some cases decades. The RP friends that I have that have persisted are those that I have a relaxed interaction with rather than any intense RP.

 

Maybe I am agreeing with you, and that deep involved RP goes too deep, and it is best to keep it more superficial with some hard separation. (or maybe that is not what you are saying?)

 

And.. to add.. if people do want to cross some conceptual line and not keep it separate.. I wish them luck. If it is consensual then I'd back it. But then I dislike imposed rules and stereotyping people.

 

The line is there to keep people safe.  I mean. . .would you wish someone luck if someone started stalking you?   I didn't just pull that out of my hat, I have known people who that has happened to, who showed me the messages, whose addresses were dug up, whose identities were revealed.  It is not good. Too, I have seen instances where predators would use rp sites to dig up young players and try to gain their trust -- also extremely bad.

 

I'm not saying like, never allow any ic/ooc cross happen, I'm saying what Tiergan was saying -- do no harm.  Don't allow the emotions the rp provokes in you to make yourself or someone else feel shitty irl.  That ain't cool.

 

And yeah, I agree that some small part of yourself will come through, but the idea is to stop it from becoming something negative.  If I am frustrated by something that happens icly, I don't take that frustration out on the people I'm playing with!  I don't try to guilt them, or make them feel bad, or get angry with them!  Similarly, I don't blame them for what happens.  I might not like it, but rp happens, and imo it's key to understand that they are playing their characters the best way they can, just as I am with mine.  Being willing to communicate, and not take things personally, is instrumental to having a good experience and helping those around you have a good experience, too.

 

I would agree with the "do no harm" but I'd also add, "be wary" and don't expect others to play by your rules.

 

Be resilient, I wish I was more resilient.

 

Maybe then we don't have to deal with the extremes. But I think extreme people will be extreme whatever rules you try.

 

Heck, you should hear how PvE upsets people and that is just key pressing.. imagine how much something you created, crafted and invested your imagination in is going to tug on your feelings when it goes a little wrong.

[Tiergan]

I am having trouble understanding what you mean by this.  Are you saying there is not really an IC because all of our decisions are made OOC and thus all IC actions have the same weight and responsibility as OOC actions?  Because if so - I STRONGLY disagree and would honestly be really, really unsettled by this line of thinking.  That is like saying all villainous characters should bear the same kind of OOC weight as if they were commiting a rel crime.  Or that people in an IC relationship should be just as dedicated to their IC lover as their OOC lover.

 

There MUST be a separation or you are doing harm.

We have no more responsibility for our character's actions than an actor playing a character, or a writer writing a character's part.

 

Yes what Aya says. 

 

If you play an obnoxious character and push it to cause problems, or try to break other characters up.. then say it is not you it is the character.. no dice.

 

From another angle, RP is a cooperative endeavour in which we are all essentially co-authoring a shared story in real time.

 

This is more about intent and responsibility to be a positive part of the shared story. And that can equally be a baddie as a goody character and action.

 

There is an ENORMOUS wealth of difference between someone RPing with you normally and someone using RP as a vehicle to harass other people (ie. Cause problems, break people up with malicious ooc intent.)

 

They are very very different. Harassment vIa RP is already a form of IC/OOC mixing.

[Nebbs]

I am having trouble understanding what you mean by this.  Are you saying there is not really an IC because all of our decisions are made OOC and thus all IC actions have the same weight and responsibility as OOC actions?  Because if so - I STRONGLY disagree and would honestly be really, really unsettled by this line of thinking.  That is like saying all villainous characters should bear the same kind of OOC weight as if they were commiting a rel crime.  Or that people in an IC relationship should be just as dedicated to their IC lover as their OOC lover.

 

There MUST be a separation or you are doing harm.

We have no more responsibility for our character's actions than an actor playing a character, or a writer writing a character's part.

 

Yes what Aya says. 

 

If you play an obnoxious character and push it to cause problems, or try to break other characters up.. then say it is not you it is the character.. no dice.

 

From another angle, RP is a cooperative endeavour in which we are all essentially co-authoring a shared story in real time.

 

This is more about intent and responsibility to be a positive part of the shared story. And that can equally be a baddie as a goody character and action.

 

There is an ENORMOUS wealth of difference between someone RPing with you normally and someone using RP as a vehicle to harass other people (ie. Cause problems, break people up with malicious ooc intent.)

 

They are very very different. Harassment vIa RP is already a form of IC/OOC mixing.

 

I am not sure there is a "normal" way to RP, it is quite a spectrum. Though these are just examples to pull out the fact that characters have no intent of their own, that has to come from the player.

[Brynhilde]

The key difference is your motivation for your IC actions, and the difference is this:

 

"This is what I will do." Versus, "This is what this character would do."

 

The latter is 'roleplay'.

 

The former is something else entirely; a kind of personal wish-fulfilment which, if not understood, consented to, expected and accepted by all involved parties, is dangerous and prone to create a big, ugly mess.

 

The role-player occupies an awkward place between writer and actor; If our characters' lives are a play, we are essentially both its playwright and its cast. But this places us on the outside looking in, as there is a degree of detachment there. While we may be fond of our characters, we never really are them, and should not strive to be.

 

But when you dive through that fourth wall, RPing your character becomes an exercise in ego. When we fail to maintain that separation and consider our character's actions, trials and successes to be our own, things can get horrible very quickly. Because then, of course, things are a lot more personal. 'IC' romances and conflicts turn from events happening merely in an unfolding fiction to things we have an all-too-intimate investment in, and that's when feelings get hurt.

 

There have been many wonderful contributions to this thread already which have said much of what I would say, so I shan't prattle on. What I will say is that if someone's using RP is wish-fulfilment (and I don't think all RP is wish fulfilment; you couldn't pay me to have Brynhilde's life), that is not in itself wrong, if all parties involved know that that's what's going on. It's when the IC/OOC bleed is either unintentional, or not consented to by the other party(ies), that it is dangerous and not okay.

[Knight Kat]

I am having trouble understanding what you mean by this.  Are you saying there is not really an IC because all of our decisions are made OOC and thus all IC actions have the same weight and responsibility as OOC actions?  Because if so - I STRONGLY disagree and would honestly be really, really unsettled by this line of thinking.  That is like saying all villainous characters should bear the same kind of OOC weight as if they were commiting a rel crime.  Or that people in an IC relationship should be just as dedicated to their IC lover as their OOC lover.

 

There MUST be a separation or you are doing harm.

We have no more responsibility for our character's actions than an actor playing a character, or a writer writing a character's part.

 

Yes what Aya says. 

 

If you play an obnoxious character and push it to cause problems, or try to break other characters up.. then say it is not you it is the character.. no dice.

 

From another angle, RP is a cooperative endeavour in which we are all essentially co-authoring a shared story in real time.

 

This is more about intent and responsibility to be a positive part of the shared story. And that can equally be a baddie as a goody character and action.

 

There is an ENORMOUS wealth of difference between someone RPing with you normally and someone using RP as a vehicle to harass other people (ie. Cause problems, break people up with malicious ooc intent.)

 

They are very very different. Harassment vIa RP is already a form of IC/OOC mixing.

 

I agree Tiergan, the problem is, how do you recognize when someone is using RP to cause problems?

 

The reason I ask is because people can lie, and even lie to themselves. I once had someone ICly claim that a specific type of healing was impossible at a certain speed. Their character would not let go of the issue so hard that I went into FC chat, and kindly explained that players in the FC are allowed to determine how effective and how fast healing of injuries will be for their own characters.

 

I was not upset at the player, but I almost felt the player was trying to force their OOC opinion on healing magic through an IC scene. I said what I said just in case, and to prevent the whole debate about the effect and speed of healing magic from happening OOC (because we know what a can of worms that is). Well, that player got very upset and told me that the opinion is just "legit" for the character.

 

Fine, I took them at their word and dropped the matter. It's just, the scene was about a plan for an upcoming mission. It wasn't even supposed to be a talk about healing injuries. I know RP is unpredictable, and that is part of the point, but the character was being disruptive. Again, once the player told me it was just IC, I had no issue, and was never mad in the first place. But I did wonder how such a debate contributed to the scene. All it did was drag it out on an issue that would find no resolution.

[Tiergan]

I agree Tiergan, the problem is, how do you recognize when someone is using RP to cause problems?

 

The reason I ask is because people can lie, and even lie to themselves. I once had someone ICly claim that a specific type of healing was impossible at a certain speed. Their character would not let go of the issue so hard that I went into FC chat, and kindly explained that players in the FC are allowed to determine how effective and how fast healing of injuries will be for their own characters.

 

I was not upset at the player, but I almost felt the player was trying to force their OOC opinion on healing magic through an IC scene. I said what I said just in case, and to prevent the whole debate about the effect and speed of healing magic from happening OOC (because we know what a can of worms that is). Well, that player got very upset and told me that the opinion is just "legit" for the character.

 

Fine, I took them at their word and dropped the matter. It's just, the scene was about a plan for an upcoming mission. It wasn't even supposed to be a talk about healing injuries. I know RP is unpredictable, and that is part of the point, but the character was being disruptive. Again, once the player told me it was just IC, I had no issue, and was never mad in the first place. But I did wonder how such a debate contributed to the scene. All it did was drag it out on an issue that would find no resolution.

 

EDIT: After a second read - I think perhaps the person you described IS mixing IC/OOC if they kept trying to enforce their views both IC and OOC about how you can't heal that fast while also getting angry at you IN REAL LIFE for your character disagreeing with theirs in the story.

 

If they instead responded with: "Hey, my character earnestly believes you can't heal that fast IC and is REALLY passionate about that belief - but OOC, everyone can do what they like." - that would be a different story.

 

The way you can tell if someone's using their RP to cause problems is their OOC mindset/actions combined with how they react to you when you politely try to sort things out through OOC communication.

 

If someone hates you as a player, they constantly have their character ICly harassing and hounding yours in a way that is extremely disruptive, and when you try to talk to them about it OOC to work things out, they are extremely rude, mocking, dismissive or hyperdefensive - there's a pretty good chance they're engaging in some IC/OOC trouble making.

 

If someone likes you as a player, but their character is a jerkface that is constantly harassing and hounding your character IC in a way that is extremely disruptive -- there is a very good chance that when you politely try to talk to this person about it OOC, they will immediately try to dial it back because they didn't realise they were making things hard for you. (At least, they will if they're not assholes anyway.)

 

--------------

Original Post:

 

I would argue that your scenario is more of a "Two people disagreeing over RP views/standards and one of them is potentially loves being in the spotlight a little too much" situation as opposed to the kind of IC/OOC blending that most people think of when they talk about folks blurring the lines between IC and OOC.

 

Two RPers could meet and begin RPing with each other only to discover that one of them staunchly believes that being a White Mage shatters the lore ...while the other person believes being a White Mage is totally fine. In fact, their character IS a White Mage! If they argue IC for an hour about whether or not that's possible - (which means they completely forgot the whole "COMMUNICATION!" thing being harped on about in this thread), before finally taking things OOC and arguing about their differing views there -- that doesn't necessarily mean IC/OOC blending so much as perhaps these two people are just not compatible when it comes to RPing with one another.

 

And that's totally fine. I am not compatible with RPing with folks with certain RP styles/beliefs - other people don't really find me compatible with their view of the lore. It just means we should probably go our separate ways and find people we *are* compatible with.

[Flashhelix]

The whole "if you play a character that frequently harasses or inconveniences people without provocation you must be an asshole OOC" mentality is basically a way for THOSE people to take negative actions against their character OOC.

[Tiergan]

I am not sure there is a "normal" way to RP, it is quite a spectrum. Though these are just examples to pull out the fact that characters have no intent of their own, that has to come from the player.

 

I am still a little unsure of what you mean when you talk about "intent". Yes, all decisions ultimately come from the player - but a character can have very different intentions than the author's intentions for why they decided to give their character that particular intent.

 

A villainous character might have the intent that they want to cause chaos. They go off to viciously murder several people, frame Osric for the crime, and inadvertently spawn an investigation.

 

If the player of that character's intent is "My character will have this intent to cause chaos so I can create a kickass murder mystery event for the community to enjoy! I will also respectfully ask Osric's player for permission before having my character frame his character for horrible murder!" -- they are not mixing IC and OOC in a way that causes harm. They are, by most RPer's definition "not mixing IC and OOC".

 

If the player of that character's intent was instead "I hate Osric and I'm jealous of his majestic facial hair. I'm going to have my character hate him with a furious passion, kill a lot of people, frame Osric for it without his player's permission, and then send a swarm of my friends dressed up as Brass Blades and Sultansworn to harass him repeatedly without end, because it seems like a fun thing to do to someone I don't like." -- that is mixing IC and OOC. The player has an intent to cause harm.

 

On the flip side of the coin from 'hate', back in the super early days of 2.0 - Tiergan started a romance with a female character. My character's intent at the time was that he was attracted to the other person, and despite his many, many reservations, was going to give things a shot because the woman kept reassuring him that everything would be fine.

 

My intent as a player was "My character has more baggage than a luggage factory and it will be a lot of fun watching him struggle, grow, and develop as a character while trying to be in a relationship with another person." I did not feel romantic feelings for the other player or her character. She was not my girlfriend. I did not make any OOC demands of her, her character, or her time.

 

However - after about a month, it was very, very clear that the player of the female character had very, very different intentions than I did. (She definitely no longer plays! Just in case the mods are nervous. :V) Her character would often do extremely illogical things in an attempt to force myself and my character into situations she wanted OOC. The player would also get both IC and OOCly jealous if Tiergan spoke fondly of female friends or spent any time alone with another female character. This was irregardless of whether or not Tiergan was spending that time locked in combat along side the other woman to fight off bandits or just getting a drink to reminisce with an old female friend about old mercenary gigs.

 

Additionally, if I didn't spend time RPing with her every. single. day - she would get IC and OOC upset over it. It didn't matter if I didn't feel in the mood to RP that day or if I was exhausted and just wanted to PvE. It didn't matter that I had several other friends who wanted to RP with me and I couldn't blow them off to RP with her when my free time was extremely limited. It didn't matter even matter when my router started to die and I couldn't consistently stay logged in the game for two weeks. She would get IC and OOCly upset. She would send me lengthy whispers about how she needed me to RP with her more and her character would talk about how she felt like Tiergan didn't care about her due to their time apart.

 

It became insanely clear that she her intent was to experience something IC that she couldn't have OOC - whether that be feelings of romance, attention, or even just the feeling of control over another person. She may have crafted the perfect ideal Romance RP in her head for us, but I was in no way responsible for helping make that perfect RP ideal come true for her just because our characters were in a relationship. We were not dating. She was not entitled to me, my characters, my RP, or my time just because our imaginary characters were engaged in imaginary pretend-time romance.

 

The moment she thought she was and decided to let her OOC desires bleed into IC while also pressing into my space as a person -- she broke the cardinal rules of RP and mixed IC with OOC in a harmful way.

[Dat Oni]

I am having trouble understanding what you mean by this.  Are you saying there is not really an IC because all of our decisions are made OOC and thus all IC actions have the same weight and responsibility as OOC actions?  Because if so - I STRONGLY disagree and would honestly be really, really unsettled by this line of thinking.  That is like saying all villainous characters should bear the same kind of OOC weight as if they were commiting a rel crime.  Or that people in an IC relationship should be just as dedicated to their IC lover as their OOC lover.

 

There MUST be a separation or you are doing harm.

We have no more responsibility for our character's actions than an actor playing a character, or a writer writing a character's part.

 

Yes what Aya says. 

 

If you play an obnoxious character and push it to cause problems, or try to break other characters up.. then say it is not you it is the character.. no dice.

 

Had this happen to me as Edgar, and currently dealing with it with Koporo, as well. It's beginning to drive me bonkers.

[Nebbs]

@Tiergan - regarding Intent.  This is getting convoluted but I will try to expand on it. Apologies to all.

 

There are many intents at play here.

• Player - an OOC intent to have fun (which could mean many things, and not be fun for others)
  
• Character - a created intent by the player to fit some archetype or other template, this is expressed through IC actions and responses, determined by the player
  
• Story Teller - to facilitate a context and interaction for others to enjoy and play their characters within
  

For some the difference between player and character is slim, the "I play myself" brigade, and at the other end of the spectrum we have the total separation, "I'm playing an NPC" and it could easily be automated.

 

Many will play some place between these two extremes but as this is a personal thing there is likely to always be some difference in this from one person to another and a source of some misunderstandings.

 

The purpose of the OOC conversation is to try and create, or correct,  a common understanding of what will work between players, so that they can interact.

 

So we expect that the player has control over their character and can adjust their play style to accommodate the other players. Or they can choose to not do that and cause friction. Without this, why bother with an OOC chat?

 

It does not matter what IC you are playing, romantic, horror, ERP, rock-suicide-road-wars, vampires-eat-the-world.  The IC stuff is a made up story, not real. However, playing a game together is a real activity.

 

I suppose this all comes back to say that , yes separation is a good thing the more you explore areas you would not explore in real life. Without the conversation OOC you could be playing with an "I play myself" player and in their world it is more real.

 

Some people will take the interaction more real than others.

[Caspar]

Ideally, I'd hope that most players are willing to accept your character's abrasive behavior as just part of the game, or an opportunity for good rp, but I understand in practice that doesn't always happen. That's why I've tried to be flexible enough with how I play to make sure I can ICly stretch things in a direction I didn't originally intend. Like, if the way I normally have my character behave is too much, then I can tone it down, or take it a different direction entirely, both because it's something she would do under certain conditions, and because OOC I don't want to upset the other player.

[Briggs]

Lately, I've seen an influx in players playing dimwitted, jerk characters.

 

 

I'm talking Dinobots and Drax the Destroyer levels of this.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with this. Honestly, I love simple characters and those who like the initiate some conflict or roughhousing are always good to have around. The issue I have is when writers only play out the dumb and mean aspect of their characters and nothing else. 

 

That's still not a bad thing; what I'm getting to is that some people play this assuming it gives them some sort of plot immunity. Because you're that lovable, asshole of an oaf, we'll (in character) always want you around. Your character is integral. Oh, he punched down a wall or berated an officer and called them trash because they looked at him funny? No biggie!

 

... it is a biggie. There's going to be IC repercussions for it. Most players will be like, "lol yeah, he's not too bright," and be fine with an IC demotion or time-out. Hell, even expulsion from the Free Company because that's what would realistically happen in that sort of situation. My issue is when the few, far inbetween players that put their characters in these sort of situations, get frustrated and upset (out of character) when they're told or faced with the reality that their characters are going to have to face punishment or an official judgement for their actions and that they don't get a free pass for playing to a few tropes that might border along comic relief from time to time.

 

 

Unfortunately, I've seen a lot of instances of this over the years I've roleplayed.  

[Verad]

How to Avoid:

 

Do Not Roleplay.

 

There you go.

[Lost River]

But Verad! Lost just put on her Wizard Hat and Robe on!

 

 

On a serious note; Verad does have a point, but it all comes with a prime statement between all players regardless of it. 

 

The dividend of maturity varies between players in what aspects they put in their role-play and their ability to separate themselves from their character/role they're playing/acting.

 

There will always be a hint of your persona or at least personal touch in any character you portray; you do what is fun. Drama will happen both IC and OOC, the best way is to find ways to approach and deal with it instead of forcing yourself fully from the situation; that tends to be the best way when its completely out of control.

 

Always step to the side, count to ten and recollect yourself. Look at all angles of the situation when regarding multiple parties and also, don't be so prideful to say its always their fault nor so defeating its always your's. If either of those truths are real, something is wrong.

 

In short, its all about fun. And when you are not having fun, there is no point. If your fun does not match other's fun, find other people to play with.

[Hyakki]

Would this be a relevant topic for this thread?

 

Given the recent 'Seeking MRP' threads, I have to wonder why they label themselves as Mature Roleplayers. I am wary of anyone who would label themselves as such when past encounters have been anything but.

 

Mature roleplay does not have to be violent or sexual in nature but some people think the only definition of mature is of the 'Rated M' variety.

 

My interpretation of mature roleplay is roleplay where the themes, actions, and consequences are discussed/played out/handled in a mature manner OOC by all parties involved (mature roleplay does not mean the characters have to be mature). In a sense, we should all be mature roleplayers.

 

Unfortunately, some people think they're sly and use the label as a means to solicit ERP without looking trashy (spoilers: you look trashy) and/or an excuse to be the edgiest edgelord this side of Edgeville.

[Narcisseoix]

JK rowling is not harry potter

 

there's your boundary 8-)

 

There are some very eloquent points, and methods/tips suggested in this thread.  I, however, must reiterate this particular one.  I am Eric, not Narcisseoix, and Narcisseoix is Narcisseoix, not Eric. If you can just drive that home you'll be good to go!

[g0ne]

Would this be a relevant topic for this thread?

 

Given the recent 'Seeking MRP' threads, I have to wonder why they label themselves as Mature Roleplayers.

 

My interpretation of mature roleplay is roleplay where the themes, actions, and consequences are discussed/played out/handled in a mature manner OOC by all parties involved (mature roleplay does not mean the characters have to be mature). In a sense, we should all be mature roleplayers.

 

Unfortunately, some people think they're sly and use the label as a means to solicit ERP without looking trashy. (spoilers: you look trashy)

 

Correct. We should display a fine sense of maturity in RP. Level headed and cool thinking are two very important tools in that aspect. 

 

And conversation. Very important magical thingy, that! As mentioned by pretty much everyone in the thread. Remember, CONVERSE! 

 

I get the feeling the two are linked. Only a person with a collected methodology of thinking would go into conversation and try and avoid repercussions of any sort, or rectify any misunderstandings. Immature people tend to flare up and go bonkers for little to no reasons. (Like children. That's why you almost never call a 5 year old a mature person :surprise: )

 

But, erm, I'm not sure I understood what you mean by the spoliers in your last sentence. 

[Hyakki]

But, erm, I'm not sure I understood what you mean by the spoliers in your last sentence. 

Its just a pet peeve of mine. Players that use the term 'mature' but seek rp of a sexual nature almost exclusively are trashy in my opinion. Its like a prostitute calling themselves an escort to make what they do seem legitimate.

 

(I was supposed to go to bed hours ago, I apologize if this response is unclear.)

[Berrod Armstrong]

But, erm, I'm not sure I understood what you mean by the spoliers in your last sentence. 

Its just a pet peeve of mine. Players that use the term 'mature' but seek rp of a sexual nature almost exclusively are trashy in my opinion. Its like a prostitute calling themselves an escort to make what they do seem legitimate.

 

(I was supposed to go to bed hours ago, I apologize if this response is unclear.)

Juuuuuuust as an aside, that statement is a bit uh. Well, offensive. Escorts/sex workers in general are legitimate in areas where they are legal. The career is no less legitimate than any other, as it's up to the worker to decide what they do with their bodies. This is speaking as someone who has willingly worked in the sex industry.

 

If someone wants to label sexual roleplay as 'mature', there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, so long as they clarify what they mean when communication opens. I understand that it might be a pet peeve of yours, but it's not really any reason to rag on some people's careers because of it. 

 

On the topic at hand regarding that sort of player -- if that's what they are seeking, and it's what they are communicating they are seeking, that's actually not bad (barring the actual content they wish to explore). They have their OOC intent, and they are stating it prior to opening roleplay with another person; who, because of the communication involved, will need to consent. At that point they are both responsible for what goes on in their little bubble, and it's none of our business.

[Warren Castille]

I think there's a distinction between ERP and MRP. ERP is what it says on the tin: roleplay that's focused on eroticism. Mature RP tends to be a different take on that: RP where sexy times might happen, and where the scene won't necessarily fade to black like you get in vanilla RP.

 

There's nothing wrong with people flagging themselves as being open to that. Let's give some folks benefit of the doubt that any threads labeling people as MRPers are just putting out the sign they're open to it, and not sketchy craigslist "WoL seeks 18yo catgurl in heat" kind of posts.

[Berrod Armstrong]

"WoL seeks 18yo catgurl in heat"

new skype status ahoooyyyy

[Branson Thorne]

I think there's a distinction between ERP and MRP. ERP is what it says on the tin: roleplay that's focused on eroticism. Mature RP tends to be a different take on that: RP where sexy times might happen, and where the scene won't necessarily fade to black like you get in vanilla RP.

 

There's nothing wrong with people flagging themselves as being open to that. Let's give some folks benefit of the doubt that any threads labeling people as MRPers are just putting out the sign they're open to it, and not sketchy craigslist "WoL seeks 18yo catgurl in heat" kind of posts.

True, but even if the latter is true, it's the way they want to play, and honestly, doesn't hurt anyone

 

I say let them have their way and if you don't want to RP into that, then don't.

 

And this is not aimed at you, Warren. Just the topic in general.