Alothia

Why are you here? Lini…it’s been almost 10 years… What the hell are you doing here by yourself? You’re only 17! For what reason did you come here to this city? I pray to the Twelve that you’re not trying to follow in my footsteps. This has been a harsh life, one that I don’t know that you’re cut out for. But you might be. I don’t know. I haven’t seen you since you were 7. You were so young. But then again, so was I. Maybe you don’t understand why I left. I barely do. It was so long ago. I remember the day that I decided to run off. I was so mad at mom…she had missed something else of mine…I resented it… Ugh. This isn’t about me. It’s about you. I’ve missed you, you know. Maybe that’s all I need to say? Maybe you just came for a visit. Maybe it’s that simple, right? Ah…who the hell am I kidding. Things are often more complicated than they seem. I just hope that everyone is okay. Is mom alright? Is dad alright? Are you alright? Alothia, frustrated, closes the journal and furrows her brow, thinking about what exactly she’s going to say…

The dreams came again, as they often did. She wasn’t surprised. After all, their conversation brought it up. Only…this time…it was different. There was more. And she wasn’t sure what it meant. The first was like always. No faces, no people. Just running. The forest blurring by in a rush of air. She could smell it. She could taste it. And she didn’t like it. It set her nerves on fire. It made her heart race. She was running. Running from something like her life depended on it. She didn’t know what it was, but she knew if it caught up with her it would ruin her. So she ran. Another flash. In her old house. She walked across the worn wooden flooring. She was there…but not. And then she saw her. She was huddled in the corner, crying. It made her want to cry out, to yell, “I’m sorry!” But she couldn’t. She knew this was just a reflection. She had no real affect here…she couldn’t change the past, and she couldn’t change what had happened here. She was compelled to move forward, to look at what she’d done. So she moved on. She looked at the woman…soft blue hair fell unbound about her shoulders, slender ears poking out. Her sobs racked her body as if her soul was being ripped out. And then she turned and looked at Alothia. It was not what she remembered. Gone were the eyes that were so filled with compassion, once. Instead…black, empty eyes looked at her, looked through her. She couldn’t turn. She couldn’t run. She just stared at those eyes and slowly drowned… Another flash. The sea echoed all around her. Where was she? This was not some place she recognized. It was stormy, and she was alone. The water was black as ebony as she gazed across the surface. It reflected like glass, and yet, the only thing around to be reflected was her own form, distorted by the waves. The small boat she was in tossed and tossed until she wasn’t sure she would stay afloat. Wave after wave poured over the side, threatening… She woke with a start and looked around the small room at the inn. There were no sounds save for the breathing from the figure on the couch. He had not noticed. All the better, she thought. It would not do to trouble him with such things. She laid back against the pillows, and stared at the ceiling until finally sleep claimed her, and she slept like the dead.

Alothia returns to her room after a long night of dealing with company business. She pulls out her notebook and a writing tool. Unsure of where to begin, Alothia stares at the page for some time before finally nodding and beginning to write. It’s been a while since I’ve written here. I think the last time was almost a moon ago. It’s funny how time passes and we lose such track of it. A lot of things have happened since then. Zenge has gone missing. I think that this is the most pressing issue on my mind. A couple of suns ago, Oskar, Zenge and I met up with Xenedra, Crimson, and Claus for a little gathering in Gridania with drinks and conversation. Aside from being an eventful night in other ways…Alothia smiles with the memory before putting returning to her writing Zenge happened to stumble upon a bottle, and then all of a sudden run off. If only I knew what was in that bottle! Maybe if I had pushed him for more information! But I didn’t…and so now he’s missing. Relani and I asked the Guard to check to see what had happened to him. They found blood and footprints, plus signs of Garleans. This is not good considering that Zenge is…well. I wonder if they finally tracked him down. But to hurt him? I pray to the Twelve every day for his safe return. I know I’m not the only one who is missing him. Relani is distraught as well. Poor thing. I wish there was something I could do to comfort her. But she’s a strong girl. Then there’s Oskar. I don’t know what that is, still. I have feelings for him, but I feel foolish at the same time because I do believe that my feelings are stronger than his. He is young, I suppose. Better not to get too caught up in those feelings…but I can’t help it, really. I feel like there’s something there beyond that tough veneer that deserves consideration. Anyway, we’ve been working on learning things together, which is really nice. I’m on my way to becoming a master Conjurer, my Thaumatury skills are improving, and I’ve even taken up the lance. Things are a whole lot better when you have someone to do them with. I do feel that my concern with these first two issues have taken up most of my time lately. I’ve barely had any time to spend with the others I care about, like Murivi and Taelia. And I felt so guilty tonight having to leave Taelia like that. I know how much she’s been looking forward to working on conjury with me. I wanted to too! But this blasted company! It seems like I’m always trying to clean up other people’s messes or trying to find a peaceful moment of myself. I hope I can make it up to her later. I know that she must have been awfully uncomfortable training with just Oskar. I’ll have to find some way to make it up to her. I know she needs more materials for goldsmithing…maybe I’ll try my hand at mining up some things for her to work with. I think she’d appreciate that. I did get to see Murivi the other day, and that was nice. Although I am worried that she may have burned some bridges with Oskar. We had hired a mercinary…Harold, I think, who was awfully daft, and quite flirty. Well, you know who didn’t like that so much…especially when I made a joke about how I’m not tied to him. I don’t fully understand what the problem was…he’s said himself that he doesn’t want to be tied down. Anyway, he got mad, I felt bad…but that didn’t seem to be enough. So I was talking to Murivi about it while we were on our way to Cedarwood, and later that evening, she completely yelled at him! I must say, it felt nice having someone stick up for me for a change instead of the other way around. Alothia smiles. I hope she realizes what she’s done. I’m sure she does though. I’m excited about the possibilities of the future though. I can’t wait to get started on our group leve runs, I can’t wait to become a master conjurer, and I can’t wait to spend more time with everyone. I just hope that I can rememeber where my priorities lie, which is sometimes so difficult with life being like it is…but, I do my best. Alothia puts away her notebook, sighs, and decides to call it a night, curling up on the bed and blowing out the light.

Alothia curls up in her favorite chair in her small apartment in Ul’dah. It is late at night, and she has just returned from an excursion to Little Ala Mhigo with her friends. After the long journey, Alothia feels it necessary to write down some of the thoughts that have been plaguing her mind in the past few weeks. She gets up, rummages around the various boxes that litter the room, and comes back to the chair with her journal in hand. It is nothing fancy, a small book bound in brown leather with a delicate ‘A’ etched in the cover. She cracks open the book, smells the leather and the paper, and begins to write… It is often so difficult to start a book off like this. I feel as if I should have some sort of introduction…but, I guess I know myself, at least enough to be able to not need an introduction. Journaling is cathartic, I suppose, as it allows insight into the current person I am through analysis, as well as a look at my past self through older entries. Do you know that I have a journal that I worked on as a young kitten in the Shroud that I still like to look at to this day? It is amusing to me to see what passions ruled my heart back then, things like “does Tybaltian like me?” and “I am so mad at mom and dad today!” Oh to still be so young and carefree. If only my troubles where so petty. But that is for another entry, I suppose. Tonight, Taelia and I met up with a lovely but strange Miqo’te named Lulu. We got to talking about the events on the Garlean front, and I thought it might make a nice trip to travel to Little Ala Mhigo. Neither of them had been there before, so we all went on an excursion there. It’s nice to see that others are as affected by this group of refugees as I am. We went around talking to the people in the camp, and explored the area. We did come across a mysterious locked door that lead to somewhere. It must be somewhere important because the door is quite heavily reinforced, and the locks on it are quite strong. We all wondered what the door must be guarding, and why they would leave it unguarded in a refugee cam…but again, another story, I suppose. Once we had made the rounds, we decided to sit down by the abandoned camp and take a rest before returning home. While we were there, we got onto the subject of what it is that we all do by trade. I, of course, am the owner of a successful business company. Taelia is working hard to be the best goldsmith in all of Eorzea. Lulu, apparently, was raised at the Ossuary and is working to become a Thaumaturge. The difference between us all is how we approach our lives, which finally leads me to my musings for the night. I have found that my life has been a series of choices that I have made that made me the person I am. And the first choice that made me was the choice to shirk the values that I had been taught for so long in order to make a name for myself out of exploiting others. It is a choice that still pains me to this day. To think that there was a time that I wanted to take advantage of others is…well, unthinkable. But indeed, it lead me down the path that I am on. My problem in my youth was that I didn’t really want anything for myself other than money…and that wasn’t really a want for myself, if you catch my drift. I wanted other people to work, and I wanted nothing out of life. I had no goals, no drives, no nothing. When I look at Taelia, and I see the joy that she earns simply from crafting a simple, plain, brass ring, I am amazed. I did not have that in my youth, and I wish I had. My parents wanted that of me, they worked hard for what they had, not because they wanted something out of it, but because they gained something in their innermost beings from being successful at something. This apathy lead me almost to destruction at one point. I remember the day when I changed. I had come across one of my “workers” crying alone. When I asked what had happened, she told me that the job had gone bad, and that…well, I can’t even bring myself to write the words here. All I can say is that this young, innocent girl had gotten hurt because of my lack of concern for her well-being. I snapped. The little piece of me that wanted nothing for myself or others changed. In that instant, I knew, that what I wanted, more than anything, was to make sure that I took care of my people and that they liked me not because I was their boss, but because I was concerned about them and that I took the time to get to know each and every one of them. It is part of my business model even now. I won’t hire someone out on a contract for anything…I know each of my worker’s strong and weak points. I know what makes them tick. I don’t resort to bullying or fear tactics (although I’m sure Zenge would like it if I did). Compassion gets me much further in this game. Plus, I look for people who are passionate about what they do. People who don’t let their ‘failures’ hold them back. People who have the same passion for their craft as I do for them. And life is much more fulfilling now. I love my job, I love my company. I love being able to get out in the world and meet all sorts of people. If I had continued on that path that I was on, I would not have had the opportunity to meet with members of the other groups around Eorzea. And it is so much more…true to me, I suppose. It has always been inside of me, to be the kind of leader that I am. Sure, I still make mistakes, but I’m becoming better every day. I look at the lives of the people I surround myself with, look at the lives of the people that I meet on my travels, and learn a little something from each of them. From Taelia, I’ve learned that maintaining a little bit of innocence in life is never a bad thing. From Zenge: Everyone deserves a second chance, no matter what their circumstances. From Jake: Always be a little irreverent and never expect anything. From Nana: Even when you look strong on the outside, there is still a sensitive person on the inside. From Rho: We all carry the burdens of our past, but even when faced with our demons, we can still change. And from this whole experience so far, I’ve learned that we are really the only ones who hold ourselves back. If we can face each challenge with passion and determination, it doesn’t matter whether we come out on top every time. If we fail, we learn from it, we pick ourselves up, and we keep going. Tomorrow, I will keep going, and the day after that…If not for me, then for the people around me, the people who depend on me. At the very least, for them.[/font] Alothia re-reads her entry, sighs, closes the book, and closes her eyes.

((This is the IC Journal of Alothia Starkwood. I'm going to transfer all of my entries over to here, so it might take a bit. If you look before I'm done, that's cool. The journals start before the Calamity and then take a break, before returning once Alothia returns. Be warned, Alothia is a friggin' sap. She likes to write poetry and talk about love, so if it's not your thing, that's cool. Any comments or questions you may have can be sent to me in a PM. Please don't use any of this knowledge OOCly. Very few people get to read her journals. Thanks!))

Updated our info to include the fact that we also just accept people into our LS and not just the FC. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask here or hit us up in game!

Nessa is a beast at gardening. You should see her tear up the gardens on our FC plot. Oh gurl, grow them plants!

So...it has evolved. To this.

Alothia was time skipped forward, but most of her friends weren't. It was a really fun thing to RP out, having people not remember/recognize her at first. It took quite a bit for her to get back into the swing of her life, and eventually their memories returned, slowly but surely. But yeah, you don't have to be one of the people who was time skipped. A lot of people chose not to do that, and that is perfectly okay.

*blushes* You are too kind! I'm glad you came to Balmung, and I'm glad you stuck around as long as you have! Please hit me up in game if you get the chance. I'm almost always happy to meet new people! :love:

Actually, my students told me that they need to make a Vine of the many faces of Mrs. A Apparently I make weird faces like that all the time without even noticing it. I do try to be animated. ^^ And yeah. Planning periods, not planning MY period. That pretty much happens whenever mother nature decides it does.

So bored, taking weird selfies. Ugh. Planning periods. I have a love hate relationship.

I'm about ready to just say screw it and teach Mak how to read herself! I swear, tracking down people Alothia knows is a pain in the butt! ♥

2_HXUhShhmY Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie I just love this song, this video, the lyrics. It's beautiful.

:blush: I'm so flattered. No one else has said they wanted to meet me! Also, just so you know, I'm also a hoopy who really knows where her towel is.

I'd be happy to meet and RP with any of you, honestly~ ♥

I understand that you're trying to answer the questions, but if you really want to attract attention from FCs, you should probably expand on the answers a bit. Take a look at some of the wiki pages on the wiki. Tell us about your character. Who are they? What's their story? You say they're good, but what does that mean? What sorts of things do they do well? What are their weaknesses? Their likes? Dislikes? Etc. Giving everyone a well rounded view of your character will be more likely to tell people that you fit in with what you've got going. For example, I could answer all of those questions in the same way you did: Alothia is good a mercenary a mage She seeks to help others, do good, and be friendly. I play in EST. That really doesn't give you any idea as to who my character is. But, if I say: You get a better understanding of who she is. Think of it as if you're telling us the story of your character. Help us understand them, so that we can help find the best match!

More art~! So I got this piece from a tumblr giveaway from http://flynntastical.deviantart.com And this was a cute $7 commission from http://meguchan91.deviantart.com And then this piece from http://luciana-lu.deviantart.com

So much this. I've been in that place where I've felt like time was demanded of me. I've felt like things that I've done "wrong" were going to negatively impact my character, and that it was all "my fault." This is the place where 'bleed' becomes dangerous. When it's making you second guess your every move, where instead of you playing and enjoying your space and your friends and your creations, you're now only worried about the other people and how you're affecting them. It's a horrible place to be, one that is so easy for new or even less confident RPers to get sucked into. I am one of those people. I'm always questioning whether I'm good enough, and it's been that way since I started. There are going to be people who see that in you and try to use that against you. The way to avoid it is to learn what you can and cannot deal with and stick your foot down from the beginning. Tell your potential RP partners your limits and issues ahead of time. Listen to them when they discuss theirs. And don't let anyone put you into a situation that you are uncomfortable with on an OOC level. If it starts to affect your day to day life, back the fuck out. Because it shouldn't do that. If you're going to RP as an escape, let it be that. Don't let it drag you down into an even bigger hole. Climbing out of something like that may be tough, but you've got to look out for you at the end of the day, and not anyone else. People who don't see that, aren't worth your time.

On Roleplay I think that elitism is something very different from having standards. IMHO, there's nothing wrong with choosing to RP with certain people because you have a certain vision for storylines for your characters, a certain standard for grammar and spelling (which I tend to do because I'm an English teacher and I have to read enough poorly worded stuff on a daily basis that I don't need it in my free time), or a certain standard for writing in general. Elitism happens when you feel the need to disparage other people because of them not choosing to adhere to the same standards as you. I've known people like that, and they make other people miserable. Look, you're allowed to like what you like. You're allowed to play with the people you want to play with. But if you make other people feel like shit because their choices aren't your choices, you're not 'elitist', you're an asshole. On Content Again, I have split feelings here. Sometimes, people are trying to relearn a role. For example, I hopped on my WHM the other night to heal Garuda EM. Thank the Twelve I was with my FC mates, because I had no clue what I was doing. If I had to put up with people in DF yelling at me because I'm trying to work something out that I hadn't touched since 1.0, I'd be really discouraged. I understand that some people do roulettes and whatnot thinking that it's going to be a quick run. But what about people who don't have static groups with which to run things? They've got to learn too. You telling people that they're doing their job wrong isn't helping anyone. I agree that people should have some knowledge of what they're doing before they enter a dungeon. I've complained to my friends over skype about someone who doesn't seem to understand. But I also know that it takes a few seconds to help someone out in a nice way, versus leaving them to sit in a queue for another half an hour because you decided you wanted to bail. I actually had this happen to me, because I wasn't using Flare in my AOE rotation when there were groups of 3. The tank quit on us, and didn't even try to explain in a nice way what I was doing wrong. Then, we sat there for another 30+ minutes because there were no other tanks. I honestly think that taking a few extra seconds out of your time to be a nice person is a lot better than coming off as an 'elitist.' But then again, that's part of my problem I suppose. I'm much more of the camp that you should just be nice to people in general.

There are a lot of great things that have made me extremely happy to come back to FFXIV and Balmung in general. Here's my list: Everyone in Jutat De: Alright, we may be a small little FC that no one knows of or has heard of, but every last one of the members is fantastically nice and giving. Even if we're not RPing, we're running content with each other, chit chatting in the FC channel, or just being stupid. If I ever had a home in this game, it is there, with those people. Lily, Tayn, Lyse, K'ajia, Khale, Arsh, Pait, Inessa...great people. RP Partners who understand: I've come out of a couple of RP situations that weren't so great. But a random encounter in the Quicksand has lead me to meet a bunch of great people, my current RP partner included. It's great to be able to feel like it's story time for both of us, like I'm not fighting for time to work on my plot. And I'm grateful for the time that I get to spend just talking about random stuff too. Thanks a bundle! Making new friends: Random RP has also lead me to meet and reconnect with some great people. Clio, Kurt, U'anzu, Makyn, Ox...I wouldn't have met any of them without the warm environment that the RPC provides. This community: While we all have our moments here on the RPC, I have to say, being able to discuss (most) issues with you guys is quite refreshing. Coming from a couple other communities that are filled with toxicity, this place is a breath of fresh air. Thanks, everyone, from the bottom of my little moderator heart. ♥

Kurt is pretty durn cool. He helped organize the "Let's troll Nako while he's AFK" movement, and that was tons of fun. Plus, he always has something nice to say and contribute on the forums!

1. Your character gets judged! What stereotype do other students see them as? (Nerd, jock, etc.) Alothia would be the super nice girl. In the Nisekoi of Eorzea High School, Aly would be Onodera 2. Your character gets an A+! What class(es)? Writing and Math. Science, not so much. Social studies, nah. Maybe public speaking as well. 3. Your character fails a class. Boo! Which one(s)? Probably History. She doesn't learn that stuff very well. 4. What sorts of people gather to your character? Are they popular or a loner? She's pretty popular. Has a large circle of acquaintances, but a small group of really close friends. 5. Your character goes to future career counseling! What is their ideal job!? She'd get businesswoman. Not always something that she enjoys doing, but it's something that she's good at.

Merged your thread with the pre-existing one which was only about 5 posts down. Make sure to search next time, please! Thanks!