You people will argue about anything

[Edda]

Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. So why not put that propensity towards something that actually matters? Using only logic, lore and your wits, I would ask the greatest debaters of the RPC to come forward and proffer their thoughts on this mighty topic.

 

[align=center]WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT?[/align]

 

[align=center]ESTINIEN WYRMBLOOD vs. A MOLDY LOAF OF BREAD[/align]

 

This may seem like a match already won, but how can we be so sure? Let us examine the fighters to get a better understanding of their abilities and limitations, so those not so brushed up on their lore can spit fire just as easily as anyone else.

 

Estinien Wyrmblood

The Azure Dragoon

[align=left]Perhaps the most iconic character of Heavensward (though certainly not the most likable), Estinien stands above his peers as the one and only Azure Dragoon of Ishgard. His spear is long and ready. His clout, immense. Not only is he a skilled fighter trained in felling the most fearsome of all beasts, he is a strong-willed and uncompromising individual. If there is something this man wants, nothing will stand in his way. However, in every great man lurks a great weakness. Some would say his pride is his weakness. Estinien would not suffer the weak to fight alongside him in a battle he considers his. What then, would a man of his caliber be able to do against such a natural, unassuming foe - especially without the help of others? He may have been training his muscles for cycles, but no doubt his digestive tract's strength has been cast to the wayside. He may talk big game, but can his spear truly fell every foe? Will Estinien's massive lips be his largest asset? Or his greatest downfall?

 

[align=center]VERSUS[/align]

 

Moldy Loaf

Bane of The Brume

Unassuming. Repulsive. Unhealthy. Moldy Loaf may seem like mere fodder to anyone in possession of a garbage bag. However, just like Rocky Balboa proved to every American that the underdog does indeed stand a fighting chance, so too does this once-perfect mass of carbohydrates. Perhaps an unknown foe in the lordly halls of The Four Great Houses, Moldy Loaf is a feared and known sight to any denizen of The Brume. "Speak not his name, or he too will curse your pantry." At a young age, children are taught to abhor and avoid the very sight of a green or grey splotch on Loaf's majestic form. Yet even still, how many lives has he claimed? How many times has Moldy Loaf triumphed against Hunger, the greatest foe of them all? Stationary, yes, but far does his influence spread. "Speak his name, and let his power grace your lips - and you shall know death."

 

 

 

[align=center]There can be only one.

[/align]

[/align]

[Warren Castille]

Estinien easily defeats the moldy bread using his newfound dragon powers of EATING. Bread's DoT renders it a double KO after the fact.

[Aoi Fukiku]

Estinien easily defeats the moldy bread using his newfound dragon powers of EATING. Bread's DoT renders it a double KO after the fact.

And Warren just won between the two with his superior logic as he waits in the shadows for the fight to finish, claiming victory soon after!

[Warren Castille]

Estinien easily defeats the moldy bread using his newfound dragon powers of EATING. Bread's DoT renders it a double KO after the fact.

And Warren just won between the two with his superior logic as he waits in the shadows for the fight to finish, claiming victory soon after!

 

Nonsense, I just /yell that they're both out and shuffle brackets accordingly.

[Faye]

That picture of moldy bread made me gag a little, so I fear it might take the win.

[Kage]

Two things. Is Estinien able to overcome taste? Is the Dot guaranteed knockout (debuff like doom)?

[Dravus]

Estinien likely has an iron stomach, considering he essentially bathed in the blood and guts of a dragon and then didn't wash it off of his armour for what must have been days or even weeks.

[Nero]

Mod note: Users posting in this thread in favour of Estinien will be given an infraction for being wrong under the forum rules section Estinien Is A Punk-Ass.

 

Users who are wrong will have their posts deleted with the post deletion tool and be given an additional infraction for deleting their posts.

 

hail hydra

[Gegenji]

What verb tense would Estinien be using in this match? Will he have eaten the Moldy Loaf, be eating it, or possibly even would eat it?

[Blue]

This thread should be gated behind 2.55 3.0 completion.

[Virella]

All hail Estinien Wrymblood, Slayer of the Moldy Brume Demon.

[Aaron]

I'd win obviously because I'd tell Estinien the loaf of bread is moldy.

 

The bread doesn't get eaten.

 

Estinien lives.

 

I get free food.

 

Everyone wins.

[ProvaDiServo]

Homie....Bread got a command grab that will OHKO that lame dragoon's insides. That raw ass debuff gonna send the boy home in a bag.

[Coatleque]

The real question is how old is Moldy Loaf, and does it ERP?

[Flashhelix]

what the fuck, estinien's got this one easily his inner dragon can just eat the bbread and hell be sagfe fucknig kthis goddamn biased board against drtgogaoin plays

[Steel Wolf]

Esrinien eats the loaf, has the most intense cable-laying seen in all the Realm, finds a reason to blame dragons and goes hunting for another Scandanavian-named big lizard to hate-stab.

[Edda]

Two things. Is Estinien able to overcome taste? Is the Dot guaranteed knockout (debuff like doom)?

Good question. I am not sure about the first one. Someone get Sounsyy in here.

 

And Loaf's DoT tick is usually determined by the afflicted's vitality and overall health pool. Only the hardy may survive. Money for a doctor is also a factor.

[Mae]

Estinien successfully eats the mouldy bread, and all of Ishgard rejoices over his defeat of the heretical baked good. However, he has sorely underestimated his opponent. While chewing, spores traveled up the back of Estinien's throat and into his sinus', allowing the mouldy bread to strike back when he least expects it and eats his face.

 

It is a tie.

 

HOWEVER, the Holy See of Ishgard decides to conceal this truth from the people. And since Estinien's helm covers his face already and he never takes the stupid thing off, the truth is never revealed.

[Eses Fafa]

Estinien's body would be much too healthy to give in to the mycotoxins of the moldy bread (if it has any). Any normal man would probably die if he ate one of this loaf's less forgiving brethren.

[Caspar]

It's a double ko like my first T8 clear. Estinian finishes the loaf, but dies soon after due to DoT. It was a success for us, so by that logic the loaf wins.

 

When you bite into it everything gets hazy and sporetastic like blighted bouquet.

[Kellach Woods]

Whoever wins.

 

We lose.

[Caspar]

"Estinien has killing power with his Gae Bolg lance, but I'm *just* not convinced he'll be able to hit consistently enough. Plus, the Loaf has the X-Factor of being unreadable. Just look at that poker face. I'm gonna have to give it to Loaf."

 

Edge: Moldy Loaf.

[Aaron]

Ok enough with the bread.

 

Nidhogg must live for one month in the same house as Estinien. The two cannot attack or hurt each other or else they must become cheery people.

 

Who will be the first to cave in? Find out next episode of Bad Guys Club - DRG Edition

[Edda]

"Estinien has killing power with his Gae Bolg lance, but I'm *just* not convinced he'll be able to hit consistently enough. Plus, the Loaf has the X-Factor of being unreadable. Just look at that poker face. I'm gonna have to give it to Loaf."

 

Edge: Moldy Loaf.

A valid point. However, we can neither confirm nor deny the fact that Estinien has eyes. He may very well not. What good is a poker face against one who cannot see?

[Caspar]

"Estinien has killing power with his Gae Bolg lance, but I'm *just* not convinced he'll be able to hit consistently enough. Plus, the Loaf has the X-Factor of being unreadable. Just look at that poker face. I'm gonna have to give it to Loaf."

 

Edge: Moldy Loaf.

A valid point. However, we can neither confirm nor deny the fact that Estinien has eyes. He may very well not. What good is a poker face against one who cannot see?

We'll have to input the stats into a random number generator highly advanced simulation software and determine the percentage of matches in which Estinien was proven to have eyes, and the percentage in which he was definitively proven to not have eyes, as well as whether they figured into his kill rate.