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How do you handle RP when it takes a bad direction?


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My character (Maia) has been in similar situations. If it's someone in my LS, I can usually just OoCly communicate that I don't want my character to go down that road and they're 1000% okay with that.

 

I've honestly had a character be totally ruined by just "going along with it", and he became so far removed from anything I enjoyed about playing him that I had to retire and start completely over. So, in constructing Maia, I built in a few IC 'stopgaps' that would prevent her from being swept up into things I didn't want her to go through. I have a list of things in my mind that could always remove Maia from an RP, although I use them for pretty much any reason (up to and including "I've been RPing for 8 hours today and I'm tired/a wuss.)

 

Of course, the "I have a LS-related emergency!" is always a classic IC excuse. More specifically, for Maia, she's a business owner so she has many off screen appointments to keep in maintaining her business. "Ah, I'm late for an appointment, I'm afraid! I must be going, but it was so nice speaking with you."

 

She's a very accommodating and "others first" type of character, so she has to be given a DIRECT reason as to why she would be "so rude" as to dismiss herself from someone's company. But I thought of a few things in advance that suited her character that would pull her away, and I use them.

 

In regard to romance, I put in another inhibition. She's not ANTI-relationship, but with her current beliefs and goals she's absolutely terrified of anything romantic that's aimed at her. The quickest way to make her leave a room is to hit on her, haha. She's an extremely naive character, so it would take her a while to realize that this was happening, but the instant she did she would basically Nightcrawler Bamf out of there.

 

TL;DR: I'm sure if you do some deep thinking about your character's motives and beliefs, you'll be able to think of a few things that would keep her pointed in the direction you want her story to go. ^^v

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LMAO one of my in game friends on Skype said he'd reverse the topic. 

 

Creep - "Want to come to my house? I've got some special drinks that'd make you pass out with taste."

 

Friend - "Funny, because I just put a roofie in yours before I gave it to you. Hope you like whips and chains sweetly."

 

My friend deserves a medal for this.

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Honestly I don't always handle it well, especially after a particular incident on another game that has just made me utterly wary of some forms of roleplaying in general. However, irregardless I do try my best to remain level headed and to send a tell to the other player letting them know I'm not comfortable with what's going on. Sometimes, unfortunately, I panic and burrow back under the nearest rock that I crawled out of - but that is something I'm doing my best to master as it's far from the most appropriate response... :blush:

 

Rule of thumb however, placing irrational emotions aside:

- If you're uncomfortable, talk with the other person first. It might be easier said that done, and if it's someone you know won't take it well then it can be made all the harder. However chances are the other player might not even realize they were making you uncomfortable - we all have varying levels of what we're alright with in roleplaying and sometimes it's easy to forget that while the other person on the end of the screen might be acting in a poor fashion, they're still human and might not be aware they're causing a negative reaction. (This is the one thing I need to work upon the most, and I've been trying my hardest... Though I don't always succeed.)

- With that said, if you're uncomfortable then you shouldn't have to justify why. It's courteous to the other player, but if talking it out will only bring scorn or make you more anxious over the entire situation then there is no shame in going 'NOPE' and leaving prematurely. Mental well being and comfort come first, and you should never feel like you -have- to give in and compromise your ideals simply for the sake of piece. That's not to say arguing is the answer either, but in the end your feelings are valid and should be taken into account regardless of the circumstances.

- As others have said, enjoyment is paramount. If you're not enjoying the RP, then what is even the point to it all? Happiness is first and foremost in roleplaying for me, and without it I honestly don't see the point in continuing. That's not to say dark and boundary pressing roleplays aren't valid and I enjoy them immensely, but that's just the thing. -I- enjoy them and thus they bring me some form of happiness to engage in because it's just another avenue for storytelling. Not everyone else is the same, nor should they be expected to be so. If your expectations and enjoyment do not mesh with another person's, then there is no shame in admitting to it and moving on to greener pastures. So long as both parties are polite about it.

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Maybe it's not the best habit of mine--I have a hard time saying no and a hard time breaking character as well--but I usually keep the RP going until I'm forced to end it for OOC reasons, even if I predict beforehand it's going to end that way. I'd like to hope I don't usually waste anyone's time with this, though, as I try to keep it all as true to IC as I can. If someone wants ERP and I don't, my character will turn them down, or if for whatever reason my character refusing sex is not IC, I will go along with it but ask to fade to black. I don't really feel bad about it because, well, no one should be dead set on ERP they were never promised.

 

But if someone becomes abusive or all around weird OOC, I have no problems ending or retconning an RP with no hesitation.

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Some decent advice spread throughout here with a lot of bad that creates more hostility than it actually solves anything.

 

Communication. That is the most important thing when it comes to roleplay. I can't say it enough. If something is bothering you, just pull said person to the side, bring it up, and talk it through like a mature adult. I'd be willing to bet that most people are not trying to make you feel uncomfortable OOCly, and are likely to reel things back on their end if you just take the time to say something.

 

Now if they're legitimately being a creep after that, then yes, do whatever it takes within reason, but other than that? It's all that needs to be done, and for the record, no, I don't always do this given how extreme my social anxiety can get at times.

 

Still, it's worth making an attempt at for the sake of everyone involved. Take it from someone that's been on the other end; it's terribly upsetting to be skewered with a great deal of defamation based on nothing more than mere IC musings when a simple chat would have been all it took to straighten the situation out. Game ruining, even.

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As others have mentioned, it's better to let your immersion be shattered than be forced into a situation that you regret and brings you down. OOC communication is a good fall back however, I really do think you can have your cake and eat it too--that is find a way to bail without breaking character.

 

I think it is good to consider that our characters don't exist on a single strand for a timeline. There isn't only one way your character can possibly react to a situation. Life is filled with many possibilities and our characters can be complex individuals-people.

"My character wouldn't do that" becomes a dangerous phrase if it restricts your OOC interests in how you want to pursue your character.

 

Sometimes our characters get involved in things they normally wouldn't do and that's okay. People aren't going to act in a 100% predictable manner all the time. Our state of minds can justify acting differently in a variety of situations while still remaining true to ourselves.

 

Tiergan's linkshell idea is fantastic. Even in every day RP I see a lot of people use "I have business attend to" as a common way to eject themselves from the RP. It can be used for a variety of things. Maybe you want to go do a dungeon or maybe you're not feeling well OOC. In that particular example you posted, the RPer was giving hints as to his intention--ERP. You can also do this same by emphasizing her naivete in emotes or by having her invite friends along during "magical romance ERP time."

 

"Oooooh! We get to ride on a chocobo! I want to see if my friends want to come along too!"

 

You could also let the RP advance forward a little bit in that case. Perhaps she becomes more interested in the chocobo than continuing a conversation. Or perhaps she turns the conversation all about his chocobo. (People do this irl all the time with their adorable babies and adorable pets) Perhaps your character is tired and she just needs to leave.

 

What I am ultimately getting at is you can bail without breaking character. There are so many reasons why you could leave or just turn the RP into something else entirely. You could even do this in tandem with OOC saying "I'm not interested in ERP" or "I don't want to go in this direction with the RP."

 

 

General advice though: Random RP tells are usually a sign that the other RPer wants to initiate ERP. Right off the bat find out their intentions or insist on using /say.

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My usual excuse is "I have to go train."

The nice thing about playing a character like Virara is that I can have her misunderstand or take them literally untill she rivals a neutron star in density.

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When it comes to random people, I think walking away is one of the most powerful tools. Most situations can be excused, and for what it's worth I tend to try and make it look like I'm not leaving for any other reasons than having to be somewhere else. I usually apply that so any minor situation, if someone is being a nudge too creepy or so. And by creepy I don't mean IC-creepy, but in a sort of bleedy way. This may also happen if the person is breaking the lore (and telling my character) in a way that my character can't possibly acknowledge because doing so would take my character away from the understanding of the lore that I am comfortable with. In situations where I don't leave, it's usually because I've contacted the player and asked if I can pretend they didn't hear that or similar, explaining how I am about the lore. In 9/10 cases I get positive responses to that, I quite like it when people can work together to overcome their differences. 

 

When it comes to more serious problems, like metagaming and power-emoting and suchlike, my strategy is still to withdraw from the situation - but I would always be communicating with the other side to try and resolve the problems. Especially when it's powergaming it can feel a bit abrupt to just leave. I don't tend to leave instantly either, but when I am sufficiently convinced it's not just a slip-up I will. If the other side becomes agitated by my inquiry then it'll most likely end in a walk away & retcon of the nights events with that person if they do not calm down. I find that once you question certain things, some people get angry ry the way instead of seeing it as a simple request for elaboration on the characters actions. 

 

It's extremely rare that I would let a situation I'm not comfortable with persist to be uncomfortable and just go unresolved. Fortunately I meet mostly level headed and cool-minded people in this game :)

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I'd say one could have their cake and eat it too, that is, avoid having to avoid horrible vile RP and also not have to break character is to have your character reasonably be able to is to have them object to the same things you find it unacceptable to RP. Now, this isn't to say you should project all your OOC beliefs on to your character as this bad RP, but I don't think you're sacrificing any creative integrity by saying "Y'know, I'm not a horrible creep that wants to RP my character raping somebody, so I'll have them think rape is bad." Or something along those lines.

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I was thinking about a macro for this situations. Not sure if it can work, I never use macro usually.

 

/tell [Go back to masturbating, you pervert.]

/.slap

/mk ignore1

/return

 

 

Just imagine the apologies when you miss target that macro lol.

 

Seriously, don't tickle their egos with attention.

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I walk.

 

No one owes anyone their time especially if they are being made uncomfortable by what's happening with it. You aren't obligated to interact with everyone. If someone is being skeevy, I'll ask them to chill and if they aren't agreeable, well, no skin off my back if I don't have to deal with them again. Same for folks who repeatedly meta, godmode, and most of all blend. Thanks but no thanks! Good luck and adios.

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I'd say one could have their cake and eat it too, that is, avoid having to avoid horrible vile RP and also not have to break character is to have your character reasonably be able to is to have them object to the same things you find it unacceptable to RP. Now, this isn't to say you should project all your OOC beliefs on to your character as this bad RP, but I don't think you're sacrificing any creative integrity by saying "Y'know, I'm not a horrible creep that wants to RP my character raping somebody, so I'll have them think rape is bad." Or something along those lines.

Very true. Off-topic for a moment, I was dying OOCly when Gwannes told Eorla not to trust the Roe she was chatting with, "Because he has a feather on his head. He probably stole it."

 

DYING. The Roe is rped by an RL friend and he thought it was hilarious as well.

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I tend to go with the flow, unless I have an OOC reason to break character, like needing to leave the keyboard or being busy in-game. But my characters aren't generally willing to do things that I as a player am not (er, in the IC sense, my characters do all sorts of things I would never do IRL). That helps.

 

I've only had a couple of skeezy approaches and being the horrible person Qhora is, they all left disgusted and angry, probably OOC as well because kind of person blah blah blah. Oops. Sorry not sorry.

 

But if I were playing a more acquiescent character, they'd have lines of their own that they'd draw. They might initially agree to go for a chocobo ride with a stranger, then balk when the person touched them, or suggested they go somewhere no longer in a public space, or got flirty.

 

Now if I got metagamed or godmoded, so that my perfectly sweet character apparently couldn't run away upon sudden realization of bad touch, that's when I usually fight fire with fire and as much power as they think they have over me, I'd just take back from them. Actually, she greased herself in butter before going for the chocobo ride and has now disappeared over the horizon.

 

But most reasonable players are willing to let a character react, I think. They might dislike it, but I have a hard time picturing them trying to nail your character's feet to the floor. If your character would freeze and let someone do anything they want to them, that should be something you as a player are prepared for (through playing it out or OOC arranged fade to black or whatever). Otherwise, have the character bow out respectfully IC or request a delay or some space IC or run away screaming IC or some other contingency plan that's appropriate for both character and player. The 'conveniently timed interruption by a friend' is a contingency plan I used relatively frequently back when I played more vulnerable characters.

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tumblr_inline_nltsoljY3Y1rkf4dx.gif

 

But seriously, that's the best advice given so far. I won't force myself to stay involved in RP that makes me extremely uncomfortable just to preserve the IC/OOC boundary. Inarah will suddenly remember a pressing matter of business and walk away. If the other party starts getting weird OOC as well then I won't respond and hope they take the hint. If not, well, blacklists are helpful... Luckily it hasn't escalated to that point for me but it's always an option.

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One Hooray IT Crowd reference above! Lol.

 

Two

 

As most people have said, just walk. You don't owe a stranger a thing, especially your time. So they wana do the creep, you can z-snap strut your way otta of there. Ic, OOC, no one will care except the person making you uncomfortable but its your character so tough.  No one can do anything to your character you don't want.

 

Though from personal experience there are some.people who will nag you so hard and so incesantly you'll stop logging in for awhile.  Just have to stick to your guns and keep your ground. Eventually they either get the hint or you ignore them.

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I generally RP out anything, good or bad. If I feel uncomfortable with an RP situation, I just remember that i'm not actually the one facing it.

 

Mak's pretty naive, though, but when it'd turn something like that, he's built in a way where he'd literally pick up his stuff and walk away from the person.

I can appreciate that, in the spirit of RP. I don't necessarily want my chars to have peaches and cream and rainbow-crapping unicorns, because Eorzea (and life in general) is tough. There are bound to be bad things that happen. 

 

Eorla got a huge Roe fist to her jaw when she witnessed him yelling at a Mi'qote girl, calling her a whore. They were at the table next to hers, so I reached out OOCly to both the Roe and the Mi'qote, explained that my character would normally say something in a case like this, and I wanted to make sure that was okay with them before she did. They both responded warmly, and the RPer of the Roe said "My char will probably try to punch yours in the face, because he's a jerk. If you're okay with that, you're more than welcome to jump in!" And I am okay with that, because that kind of stuff can happen, and is a risk when you stand up for people who you feel are being wronged. I also knew that Eorla, being completely useless in physical combat, would not be able to dodge it. And she didn't. And I was OOCly okay with that. The Mi'qote healed most of the damage (after Eorla came to, lol), and whispered her thanks to Eorla for sticking up for her. 

 

But OOCly, in the case I stated in my OP, I know that my character is not comfortable saying no to people, and I didn't want to put her in the position where saying no would be even more awkward, both IC and OOCly. And in hindsight, in reading a lot of input and advice, I groaned out loud because there were so many things I could have done and didn't even think of. I'm thankful that the person I was chatting OOCly with came up with a solution for it. It was kind of like the RP version of the girl code.

 

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I do what a few people before me have already said. I go with the flow. Sure, if there's something that my character doesn't like, then I just simply make him -try- and walk away, because... why shouldn't he? Unless he has some reason to stay, that is. I won't mention things like the need to go AFK or something, because I don't think that's what the OP was talking about.

 

However, if OOC comes into play and there's something I, the player, not like about the current roleplay, then... well, it depends on what sort of thing it is exactly. If we're talking about godemoting on anything like that, then I'll either walk away or inform the player behind the toon that I won't tolerate stuff like that. If it's something less uncomfortable, like a character getting really close to the "loller line", then I tend to roll with it. At least it can make me laugh.

 

All in all, I'm a tolerant and patient person. But if I see that somebody doesn't show respect to me, the player, then why should I do the same for him? Doesn't mean that I should break character and ruin my immersion just because of people like that. No, I won't humour those people. It's exactly what they want.

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Never be afraid to just have your character up and leave if a particular session is making you uncomfortable. Role-play is mean to be enjoyable after all and let's be honest: there's a lot of creepy individuals out there who use it as a means of trying to pressure people into helping them get their rocks off.

 

I hold the firm belief that every role-player has the responsibility to act like a decent human being when it comes to the inclusion of mature themes in their role-play. You never really know what someone's tolerance level for gore and sexual themes are unless you carefully ask them about it in a mature and dignified manner.

 

If I feel like someone is overstepping their boundaries or becoming too creepy I usually tell them to back off or just ignore them outright if it's extreme enough.

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Never be afraid to just have your character up and leave if a particular session is making you uncomfortable.

 

 

Oh, I wasn't saying that I'm afraid to do that. If something is -too- uncomfortable for me, as a player, then yeah, I'll mostlikely leave, but on the other hand I'm not that easily swayed, I mean I witnessed a lot of stupid things irl already, so maybe I bolstered up my resistance to it.

 

Though I very much agree with your second point and it saddens me just how many people forget about the one simple fact, that this is a MMO we are playing. These are actual people you're interacting with, just hidden behind their avatars. Roleplay shouldn't be all about -your- personal fun, because just as, say, in a cinema, there's a certain code of conduct to follow when you enjoy the expierience, such is the same thing with roleplay.

 

Whether or not you wish to ignore a person who does something you may not like is entirely down to the player. There's no written rule that says you -should- or -shouldn't- ignore these kind of people. Follow your mind, feelings, heart or whatever.

 

P.S: graeham ffs log in to the game already i've been trying to add you for days now ;s

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It takes a lot to make my character uncomfortable. But it doesn't take much to make me uncomfortable. I usually stick it through and go "OH NO!" "OH MY GOD!" "HOLY SHIT!" (imagine it in Joseph Joestar's voice) then at the end of the day I snicker to my friends about the hilariously terrible RP I endured. I'm an awful person and I genuinely have fun screwing around with creepers.

 

And as for this particular situation? I wouldn't be afraid to OOCly ask friends to save you ICly. Is it some form of meta gaming? Probably. But if you don't want to do something, don't do it. Plus it's a good way to get a friend to RP with you. Everybody wins but creeper!

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Here is a handy process

 

If RP seems to be veering off  [Give IC signals]

If IC signals don't work [Take it to OOC]

If they don't get the message [Exit]

 

Exceptions:

  • You can always exit at any time
  • You can always ask for backup at any time

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