The Vent Tent - Poor PuGs and Other Terrible Tales

[Chris Ganale]

In FFXIV it's just a way to say I am a giant tool who isn't aware/does not care that Square isn't supporting add-ons and am just risking a 3-day ban for being a giant tool."

Or, you know, because maybe ppl don't like carrying someone who doesn't know even the most basic shit about the job he's playing.

 

No, it's definitely what Kellach says, because as has been pointed out more than once, you don't need a parser to spot an idiot.

[Kellach Woods]

No, it's definitely what Kellach says, because as has been pointed out more than once, you don't need a parser to spot an idiot.

 

See had he quoted the WoW part I'd have said this is a good answer, but the truth of it is you CAN get banned for using third-party software within the game as it is not supported yet.

 

Once add-ons/mods are part of the game then yeah sure parse your heart out I don't care chances are I'm never gonna play with someone who likes to shove contextless bars in my face.

 

As it is now, it's risking way too much for way too little - there's a reason the people who admitted to using them in this thread mention they don't use them often. It's partially because of that.

[Desu Nee]

Dear Queue Tanks.

 

 

I can understand how you're in a hurry to do what the fuck ever, but please be at least responsible, and don't rush the boss, or at the VERY least have the fucking decency to wait so I can explain to the two new people how to defeat the Chimera on Cutter's Cry.

Honestly, I will start just leaving if the Tank is unresponsive, yes their queues are in an instant but it's the spite that counts.

 

PS: Yes, I did not ressed you on purpose. The bard was a better tank than you.

 

PSS: Go fuck yourself.

[LiadansWhisper]

Tanks that pull everything and don't use their own CDs.

 

No, really, I do actually have a limit on these Lustrates.

[Kage]

Hi PLD who use big pulls.

 

When you use a really big one, and you know the ones (you better), PLEASE USE FUCKING HALLOWED GROUND BECAUSE I DON'T JUST SAVE AETHER STACKS JUST FOR YOU.

 

 

 

 

Also, dying to the walls in AKHM is so sad to me. T_T;

[Gegenji]

Hey, slacker SCH who can't be bothered to switch to Cleric Stance and help DPS in Stone Vigil. If you're not going to help, at the very least don't make it obvious by BOUNCING AROUND LIKE A NUTTER around the fight as Eos does all the work.

 

Also, don't mark me as a Target to Ignore if I take a moment to alt-tab and start up my playlist which just ended. Especially when the ninja-AFK MNK missed the entire first boss not even minutes before. It's obnoxious.

[Caspar]

Hey, slacker SCH who can't be bothered to switch to Cleric Stance and help DPS in Stone Vigil. If you're not going to help, at the very least don't make it obvious by BOUNCING AROUND LIKE A NUTTER around the fight as Eos does all the work.

 

Also, don't mark me as a Target to Ignore if I take a moment to alt-tab and start up my playlist which just ended. Especially when the ninja-AFK MNK missed the entire first boss not even minutes before. It's obnoxious.

They should have marked you as "cross."

 

No but seriously, I don't typically get mad in dungeon so I don't want to vent too much, but I was very displeased to find myself on Steps so much last week. I'd lucked out of course, since most people got it done in the initial rush, up until recently, but I just get it a lot these days. Steps is not difficult content IMO, but my perspective is very skewed. Obviously the other party members didn't seem to think the same thing about it, given how frequently they dropped.

[Gegenji]

I think Steps got covered in here earlier but... it really is just a matter that it's an execution fight that requires people to do what they need to do. And, with a PuG, that's a sketchy situation.

 

Kind of the same reason I get on edge whenever I get the Ultros/Typhon fight. The DPS HAS to be on the ball with the water and the shurikens. You have one imp that's not doing what they're supposed to or dying... then it's very difficult to continue. You either have to hope the other imps got an extra stack of water (doable in the first part, dunno about the second)... or "cheese" the sneeze mechanic to bypass it and move on. And boy was I happy to find out about that second one so we can stop restarting the fight over and over again due to DPS negligence.

 

What makes Steps worse than that is... there's no "reset." With Typhon, he sneezes and we start anew. If the adds get out of hand or the dragon-killers don't get fired or what have you, there's no quick reset. You have to wait the entire fight out to try again. Yes, you can sometimes recover - I was actually in a Steps on Judge where we missed with all the dragon-killers (guy kept firing too late), but still poured out enough DPS to barely drop the guy just before he broke the gate.

 

Most people are doing Trials for a quick in and out. A Garuda or Ifrit or Titan or Leviathan. Get into one of the Trials where actual mechanics are involved - especially if there's new folks - and many are far too willing to eat the cooldown timer rather than have to deal with what they see as a potential headache at best and a futile waste of time at worst.

[Kage]

Yeah that's the thing. Since steps takes so long to reset after the point you know you can't win... people just leave.

 

I actually really like Steps. It's so satisfying when everything is done right. Tank gets adds, no one gets stepped on... if healers got aggro, they're at Vishap's front. Adds die quick to cannons. Cannons blow up. Cannoneers either take on Vishap or go to next cannons(and/or+snares). Repeat or do snares. Melee lb 3 asap. Getting him dead before last giantkiller or the gate is so satisfying.

[Desu Nee]

I found Steps pretty fun the only time I done it. We wiped twice, so we had like, 5 minutes. Only three or 4 people really knew what to do, so it was an absolute mess, but the last time where everyone kinda knew what to do, and albeit the dragon reached the gates, they used those chain things, and I nuked the dragon to death was just so satisfying it was completely worth the headache.

[Altitis Acquired]

I'm stuck at Steps of Faith right now in the MSQ. Got really close one time, but have yet to complete it. Always wiping, people leaving, have to re-queue, again and again and again... *sigh*

[Desu Nee]

I'm stuck at Steps of Faith right now in the MSQ. Got really close one time, but have yet to complete it. Always wiping, people leaving, have to re-queue, again and again and again... *sigh*

Try calling people on your Linkshells.

[Altitis Acquired]

I'm stuck at Steps of Faith right now in the MSQ. Got really close one time, but have yet to complete it. Always wiping, people leaving, have to re-queue, again and again and again... *sigh*

Try calling people on your Linkshells.

 

I'm not part of any linkshell or free company. But it's alright, finally got a group who could do it!

[SunTzu7]

Great Amdapor Keep yesterday.

 

Hey, undergeared Warrior with some dex accessories. You set the pace, I get this. But if you can't hold my Bard aggro with Quelling Strikes up, what made you think pulling all the adds in the two rooms after the first boss at once was a good idea?

 

That's five adds, including a Marlboro, then another three adds, including a minion spawning tree. Were you surprised when everyone died?

 

It's not something I would try and I'm i124.

[Chris Ganale]

I fucking love Steps......when I run it with my crew. We have a strategy that's worked for us and everyone has their assigned job and it plays out like the epic battle that it's meant to feel like. Our plan works so well for us that I, an i130 DRG with the highest total dps in the group (since my BLM girlfriend, who hilariously out-damages me even with twice her gear level, usually goes as healer) actually man a cannon, because I enjoy playing with artillery. And even with that huge dump in dps, because another of our well-geared DRGs also does cannons with me, we still curbstomp Vishap. It's closer because the dps isn't pushed as hard as it possibly can be, but that's what's fun about it.

 

...I....actually don't have a bitch story this time.

[Enla]

Dear tank,

 

If you're going to be derpy and mess with a run for your own amusement, do not expect any respect from me. You're the second tank I've met who has done this and have earned a place of eternal scorn. (Oooooo, scary I know. Not, but a healer can dream.) Seriously, if you're going to do a troll run - especially - in Coil, do it in a group of people who you've queued with who can stand it. Not with a DF group.

 

Sincerely,

The stressed healer who just wants to farm the Turns for materials and go on with her day.

[Temmi]

I think... I think it's been long enough since the day of that I can share this without losing my mind again.

 

So I'm working on my Relic weapon. I get my first book, and I needed to do Tam Tara Deepcroft. I'm elated! What an easy dungeon! So I trundle off to kill a few mobs while registering for duty.

 

Queue pops.

 

In we go.

 

The dungeon is myself, as White Mage, a GLD tank, a PGL, and an ACN. So I know right off the bat that I'm the only 50. Alright, so I'll have to watch my enmity. No problems!

 

First pull, I give the tank a five count to grab some aggro, then I dance into Cleric Stance, take the tank's target and fire off a Stone I. It turns to me. Alright, that's fine. I can certainly heal through this. Cast Stone a few more times, get the thing killed. By now the tank needs a Cure, so I toss one his way. The other two mobs immediately gain 50% enmity. Okay, this is gonna be rough, let's just plow through. Finish that pull without DPSing anymore to try and simplify things. I stay silent, didn't want to start any drama.

 

The PGL, however, calls out to wait, and asks the tank if he knows how to tank. THANK YOU FOR FEELING MY FEELS, PGL. WE ARE FRIENDS. Tank says "no". Okay, let's make this easy. I Google up GLD abilities for that level. I try to instruct him to use Flash on CD, cause I'd rather wait for his TP between every pull than deal with constant enmity.

 

The tank asks "What is CD?"

 

Okay... um... I ask if he's new to FFXIV. He says yes... I ask if he's new to MMOs. He says yes. I ask if he's new to video games. HE SAYS YES. Oh dear lord Jesus on high Christ my savior please lend me the patience to not gouge my own fucking eyes out in frustration. Deep breaths. Okay. I am a good person. I got this. Everything. Is. Fine. Okay. Here we go. I try to explain the basics of MMOs and tanking. "Mobs are--" He asks what a mob is. Okay... start over. "Monsters are bad. You with me?" Spend the next fifteen minutes trying to explain things so he understands. Eventually we move on.

 

Nothing changes. He still loses aggro at the drop of a hat and I end up tanking far more than him. Meanwhile, the PGL is getting waaaaay too complex for this guy, talking about line of sight, active mitigation, and limit breaks. I'm sitting here thinking "BRO I LOVE YOU BUT PLEASE STOP TALKING PLEASE NOW."

 

By some blessing of some glorious divine creature we get to the first boss area. We kill the little mobs and the big voidbeing spawns up. The tank fails to dodge any AoEs, ends up getting 1-2-3d by an AoE, a big slash, and an auto attack from le boss. Dies. Okay... No battle rezz at this level. I got this! I healtank while stance dancing and DPS. Boss goes down a few minutes later. Tank: "What happened!?"

 

Fuck me.

 

I had to actually walk away to avoid killing a man right then and there. I get back and no one has said anything. Okay... do you know what AoEs are? No? Of course not. Okay. RED IS BAD. AVOID RED. PLEASE. DEAR LORD.

 

Okay, so we move on, second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse. Tank dies to the second boss, questions me again. The ACN finally speaks up and asks if the GLD is playing on a console. He is, and the ACN sets up some voice comm thing to talk to him. Queue fifteen minutes while they get their shit figured out. I'm practicing meditative techniques like a fucking Buddhist monk over here. Sanity is tenuous.

 

After this... the ACN starts questioning the PGL and I. "Make sure to attack his target." DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THAT IS HARDLY AN OPTION??! FOR THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OR MORE OF COMBAT HE HAS NO TARGET. I CANNOT TARGET HIS TARGET. THAT MOB DOESN'T EXIST. He goes in, Flashes, stands there with no target.... maybe Flashes again. I don't know what the hell he's doing. Okay, I remain silent. I have two options, silence or rage. So yeah, I'm a mute suddenly.

 

The ACN starts casting Physick. I ask him to please stop, and to focus on DPSing, cause at this point, we only have like 25 minutes left and I'm sure as hell not going to not finish this fucking piece of shit dungeon after all the shit I've been through. This is fucking Tam Tara and I am finishing this fucking dungeon. Please DPS, you fat kumquat. One Cure I restores 50% of his HP. THERE IS NOT A HPS PROBLEM HERE.

 

Of course the ACN ignores my request and continues healing, so I'm so far gone at this point that I'm being petulant. "Okay, you're healing. I'll DPS. GREAT!" Third boss, he can't keep up with the tank. I see the tank slowly dying, but fuck that I'm in Cleric Stance and I'm DPSing. Tank dies. PGL dies. I die. The ACN summons his Topaz Carbuncle and manages to finish the fight like 10 minutes later. He proceeds to toot his own horn about how amazing he is. I have descended back to silence. I can't even. Those three words have never been more accurate.

 

I.

 

Can't.

 

Even.

 

Okay, kill the void barrier. Get into the last boss. I am so over this shit. I pull, everyone runs in. I spitefully let the ACN die cause I can't deal anymore. The PGL and I get the Imp adds, and deal the dermages. Eventually we finish.

 

Finished Tam Tara Deepcroft with 7 minutes left.

 

...

 

Okay, it hasn't been long enough for me to talk about this without losing my shit again.

 

Wow.

 

I need a drink.

[Desu Nee]

Temariah, I only got one thing to say to you.

 

E-WHW-QNswE

[Unnamed Mercenary]

The horrors of new players

 

I know your pain. ...I've also been that tank. (Well, I was a CNJ at the time, so not a tank, but the sane level of bad).

 

Timed out on Titan story mode. ...maybe 3-4 times. People eventually would ragequit. I simply could not figure out how to dodge his landslides at the time. (Changing some controls for movement camera immensely helped me).

 

Also timed out on Amdapor Keep a few times. Demon Wall. Hornets. It was hell.

 

--

 

On the flip side, I've also dealt with players who have absolute no idea what they're doing. ...if they're console, they're possibly even holding the controller upside down, assuming they even are holding it and not just poking it with a stick.

 

Ever tried to explain the THM skill rotation and why astral fire and umbral ice are important to know about? It hurts.

 

Frankly, I'm kinda amazed you continued through the dungeon (and cleared it no less). That's commendable patience, but I doubt the tank and arcanist probably knew what those were. One can only hope he's learned to play the game just a -little- bit more. ...or at least the solo instances will protect the duty finder.

[Kage]

I was pretty upset about this MOG HM that ended up being vote abandoned

 

Queue in, i take the time to ask the other Warrior, " do you want the King or the tank adds?" Someone volunteers to mark the order. Cool.

 

No answer, he just pulls. Me: Ok this guy's just going to go, since it's the PLD that is up first, he'll tank the adds.

 

The DPS is a little low, most of the DPS have <5K HP and so as soon as BLM shows and I'm one of the only couple to peel off to get it I know there is probably going to be an issue. The WAR does not stay on PLD, the other WAR follows the group. I get a little worried, but I think "ok this tank probably just doesn't care cause these mobs are-"

 

I mark WHM #2, and I have to go "whm, kill the whm moogle. guys whm moogle"

I mark the BRD #3. Mark Rogue #4. People aren't quite hitting them in order... or at least focusing on one...

During that time I had picked up WAR moogle and still thought the tank just didn't care.

Me+assume = oh crap.

 

Again, I ask while dancing for King Mog. " Are you taking King or the adds?"

No. Answer.

 

I go, pick up King, get him out of the way... And the WAR is right fucking next to me as the PLD and WAR moogles are about to go willy nilly.

 

Me: "wtf "

 

I rush over and grab the others, getting them away from BRD etc but Flare goes off and Merry Go Rounds... so many deaths. Wipe to Memento.

 

Me: "Ok I will grab the moogles while you grab king."

No answer but a ready check from him.

 

I fix up the order, letting them know I'll take care of it marking.

We wipe because I grab the tank moogles and....

Me: "wtf "

King Mog goes crazy on everyone while the Tank is just off doing his own business.

 

One DPS just leaves. Another DCs.

Me+ others: "What's going on " "Why aren't you tanking?"

Tank eventually says, right before vote abandon, "I was following the numbers."

 

Me:

 

I would have offered to just tank all three, but me and the healers need to know that so we don't get wreckt. I also can't really do that because the party may just poof because.. no DPS were incoming and the DPS was low already. ; ; someone put up Vote abandon and I said yes.

 

Queue Trials roulette, get MOG HM, Tank replies. No fuss. I got a Mogaxe and a King Mog Card!

[Chris Ganale]

Dear new healer in SV:

 

Cure II and a regen is not the answer to everything. This tank is brand-spanking new, in welfare gear, and halfway derp geared. And likes to run off on her own. But I still like her more than you, and you being a football has nothing to do with it. I don't have to keep ballad up 24/7 because she keeps OoM'ing herself. And way to put a tornado on every single cannon in boss 2.

[LiadansWhisper]

Temariah,

 

Have I ever told you about the time I queued for...some low level dungeon (think it was Sastasha) and the tank insisted on RP-walking up to mobs and waving at them before actually hitting them?

 

He would cast Flash when they were on the other side of the room.  :bouncy:

[Temmi]

Temariah,

 

Have I ever told you about the time I queued for...some low level dungeon (think it was Sastasha) and the tank insisted on RP-walking up to mobs and waving at them before actually hitting them?

 

He would cast Flash when they were on the other side of the room.  :bouncy:

 

At least this implies an understanding of the game world. ._.

 

After all, he knew what mobs were.

[LiadansWhisper]

Temariah,

 

Have I ever told you about the time I queued for...some low level dungeon (think it was Sastasha) and the tank insisted on RP-walking up to mobs and waving at them before actually hitting them?

 

He would cast Flash when they were on the other side of the room.  :bouncy:

 

At least this implies an understanding of the game world. ._.

 

After all, he knew what mobs were.

 

This was after I explained to him what he needed to do.  Four times.

[Dravus]

I'll RP heal you in a dungeon IC sometime, Liadan.

 

(For added fun my character can't use magic!)