No Love For Male Characters?

[Sgtteddybear]

So, Being new to FFXIV, there's one thing I noticed; For some reason in this community, there seems to be a VERY high number of players who simply refuse to RP with any Straight Male characters. All I can ask is Why?

When I RP'ed in WoW, I never struggled finding RP. It was always available, the community is open and just excited to get something interesting going. But being here, I feel like I suffer my RP potential for playing a Male character. As if everyone only wants to RP as, or with female characters. Even when I make a simple post, just wanting to get an IC discussion going, 90% I'm just blatantly ignored, like I'm invisible. Even when I see the other player is active.

But when I RP as a Female character? I almost ALWAYS get a response. Amazing double standards.

Like I said before, In WoW? I never had this issue. Everyone was eager to RP with each other. No one cared what you were, they just wanted to have a fun experience and build a good story. But here it's just so isolating and very lonely. Can't say I'm enjoying myself quite yet. I just want a solid group of people to RP with and socialize with. I don't like RPing a Female because I feel it goes against what I am; and that's a man. But it truly feels you have no choice in this game.

Anyone else experiencing this problem?

[Kazex Voss]

I feel for ya man but keep trying!

 

Is your character approachable? Are the concepts you're RPing with fairly open that many other types of players can jump into? I've had some luck RPing a straight male character so don't give up yet!

[Yandros]

So, not to dismiss anything you have said, not in the slightest.  I just wish to point out that being ignored is not always a malicious thing.  Sometimes chat spam happens, especially if the person is in a FC or a couple of LS's.  It can happen, and people miss posts all the time.

 

Second, location might be a factor here.  Certain places in game are known for certain rp, and your character might be getting lumped into a stereotype.  

 

But, sometimes people might not want to rp with a male character.  That is just how life goes.  I am not saying it is fair, or even right, but at the same time?  Nobody is owed rp, everyone can rp with who they want, how they want, and when they want.

 

Like Kazex said, just have to keep trying.

 

[Kieron Lohengrin]

1. be interesting

2. don't limit your RP to one starter town

3. send people PMs and ingame mail or start open public RP threads on the forum where others can join in

4. organize a consistent event schedule or FC house

5. run ingame activities IC that actively help people progress like dungeons, PotD or Eureka

glhf

[Lena Ouran]

Yep 100% understand where you're coming from Sgtteddybear despite all the other "possibilities why" mentioned by others or the snide implications that it is your own fault and that you should work around the clock to go find it yourself as if you haven't already tried I dare say. I felt the same coming over from WoW as there was definitely more of a balance there but much less tolerance for ERP so... go figure.

 

So no it isn't just you. One thing left unsaid is that the popularity of female characters most definitely outweighs the male in FFXIV no matter what server RP or not.

 

It is a shame that there isn't more of a balance and I wish I had better news for you but there's really nothing much you can do about it so you'll just have to count on your luck in finding those few male folk i'm afraid! 

Edited January 24, 2019 by Lena Ouran

[Teadrinker]

I think everyone has felt frustration for one reason or another when searching for RP contacts. Try making a LF RP or a character wiki here on the site. Describe what your character is about and their interests and such. Providing hooks can also be a great way to get people involved. Make sure you note things like how you like to play and interpret lore and whatnot. When people know a little bit about the character and see how it may or may not fit with their own they can feel more comfortable messaging blind about rp and such things.

When the datacenter visiting opens up it will help tons too because then you'll be able to attend Mateus as well as Balmung events to try and make contacts. I'd be willing to set up a friendly RP once the visiting is live, just send me a PM when the patch rolls around.

[Roen]

That's so strange. I always thought that male characters were in shortage. Majority of LFRP posts that I see are usually for female characters.But that's probably a cognitive bias on my part.

 

I think there's some good advice here. And when the servers become open to visiting I suspect we will all get to meet more RPers! So hang in there! And do compose a LFRP post and maybe even a wiki! (the latter is a bit of work, but worth it!) 

 

And good luck!

[Tattersail]

(never mind)

Edited January 24, 2019 by Tattersail
was nonsense

[Berrod Armstrong]

Hmm. Only two of my characters are straight males, but I've never really had any problems getting roleplay on them. I won't discount what you've experienced of course, but I'd like to add that perhaps 'being a 'straight male' may not be the entire reason why! There was some good advice up there, and honestly, walk-ups tend to be hit or miss, no matter how many people say they're open to them in their search info (that is another gripe entirely, I could go on and on about it...). 

 

I've also found that omitting sexual orientation information from my character's search info and bios delivers an entirely different experience. That might actually be a good test to see if that's why your character is being ignored! Anyway, I'm rambling.

 

 

 

[C'kayah Polaali]

I think part of this may be perceptual bias - a fairly large percentage of male characters I've seen are simply unapproachable. They brood in the corner, or growl at anyone who comes near, or are simply too shy to say anything.  Some are uninterested in other people's RP and simply want to play out their own with other people. Some want to dominate the RP. Outside of erp, most of these characters don't see a lot of actual play with other people.

 

I've played almost exclusively male characters in FFXIV, ranging from the gregarious crime lord C'kayah to the philosophical Baliir, the evil-as-hell Setoh, the blueblooded Naukha. On none of them I had too much trouble finding RP.

 

Get all the RP you can eat with this one simple trick!

 

Sounds clickbaity, but I read this in an improv essay once and started applying it to my RP. In my experience it's made a huge difference in my ability to get RP:

 

"Play your character as if they were an extra in a movie about your RP partner."

 

It's a different way of casting the old "Be a generous RP partner", with a little Dale Carnegie thrown in. Most roleplayers have some sort of story - usually a bunch of stories - going on about their character. Even if it's only in their heads, they have this. And in these stories, they're the hero. The protagonist. We're all protagonists in our own stories, after all. If you can help them with these stories - if you can RP in a way that supports their story and helps move it forward, then most people will see you as a jewel.

[Nebbs]

10 hours ago, C'kayah Polaali said:

 

"Play your character as if they were an extra in a movie about your RP partner."

 

 

This ^

 

Don't make the RP about you. Though depending on the other you may need to use your character as the stimulus, the NPC just nudging things along.

 

Most people are interested in themselves and their character, so try it and see for yourself.

 

 

 

Edited January 26, 2019 by Nebbs

[Kerrath]

I haven't experienced much of this. By contrast I hear a lot of women roleplayers discontent with the lack of people whose characters are heterosexual males.

I'm gonna quote some useful takes I've seen in this thread:
 

11 hours ago, C'kayah Polaali said:

"Play your character as if they were an extra in a movie about your RP partner."

^^This one is good advice in general.
 

On 1/24/2019 at 10:38 AM, Berrod Armstrong said:

I've also found that omitting sexual orientation information from my character's search info and bios delivers an entirely different experience. That might actually be a good test to see if that's why your character is being ignored!

^^When you include your character's sexual orientation you implicate to the person you're roleplaying with that you might possibly have an objective of sexual content. Which can put them on edge. That's not to say that there's anything wrong with sexual content, but when it's treated as an objective, you get an implicit sense of, idk, pressure in place that makes people uncomfortable. 

If you do perceive a difference between rping a female vs male wherein you perceive female characters getting more attention, also keep in mind that you may not actually want every kind of attention.

[Kazex Voss]

15 hours ago, C'kayah Polaali said:

 

"Play your character as if they were an extra in a movie about your RP partner."

 

 

Pretty much this. Half the time I'm the peanut gallery making comments about the current situation. 

[Zhavi]

...just....just bear with me here, are you trying to strike up rp with people standing around the railings in the Quicksand?  Because ah, yeah it will be much harder to get rp going with them, because generally they're looking for certain specific erp things.  I'd suggest either going to events or reaching out to people oocly to arrange rp.  Also, if you haven't already, get into server and cross-server discords -- between here and there you'll get a feel for where the rpers are who are more interested in rp than what's between your character's legs and what lego pieces you want to play with.

[Kuzhuk]

I'm not sure the question of "is it harder to get RP on men" is the right one. Your observations may be right, but even if they are: what good does that do you? You aren't going to change the community through observing the ways in which it's unfair, which are undoubtedly far more numerous than this. I've seen a lot of people try to criticize the way RPing Societies have shaped up over the years, and none of them made any headway despite the numerous flaws. In the end, it just isn't productive; it only succeeds in making the community defensive.

Any advice I could give you would probably be condescending, so I just won't. You'll figure this out. Learning to live with imperfection is something you have to do even in this fantasy world.

[Iron Bride]

I don't have a lot of advice to give other than that your observations have been noticed over and over by many of the people in my social circle as well - our male characters struggle much more than our female ones to build connections and receive attention.   It is something that is just part of this community overall, that you'll probably have to go the extra malm on a male character than a female one.   However, there are roleplayers out there that are not as biased (not that I think anyone's being consciously rude about it, really, so much as just gravitating towards their preferences) - come find us!   We are totally out there and I love to see well written male characters.  Please don't give up and let the early difficulties run you off of playing your character.

Edited January 29, 2019 by Iron Bride

[Sgtteddybear]

Yeah, so I just moved on to Black Desert Online. I'm having infinitely more success there RPing. People are open, RP is fun, and I can play the character I want. I've already joined a cool guild and chatting with them all on discord. Bumped into a few other players so far and had good RP. Had one guy powerlevel me and my experience is just overall more enjoyable. I'm not hated for being male.

 

So really, what I've learned is that it's not my fault and it really just is the community itself. I thought I was doing something wrong at first, but looking at my interactions on BDO, I see that it's not me. The community seems to be very immature on FFXIV. I've gotten blatantly ignored and in one instance insulted. "I've killed many men before, just say what you want" ... And all my character did was say hello in the most neutral way.

 

So, I've moved on. It's a shame but I think I am happier on BDO. The game is more my style and people RP abundantly. 

 

So good luck everyone. o/ Thank you to those who had kind words and were supportive.

[Zhavi]

Glad you were able to find some rp, even if on another game.  Best to you and yours!

[Darwinawardjudge]

Honestly I've never roleplayed here before but it's something that happens across roleplays in general. Just have to find your tribe.

[Branson Thorne]

I think it's one of those "Everyone experiences something different" situations as I tend to RP both genders and I actually find my males getting more attention than my female main. So in my mind, I can't even really take this thread seriously lol. It doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and if it does happen to you, it's not really a YOU think as much as it's just your experience.

 

Also to further my point on this, I recently quit BDO because I thought the RP scene was incredibly limited, whereas you seem to have found yourself a good home relatively quick.

[Halstein Mercer]

Just shoot someone out of the blue. Trust me, with all the rp you'll get 11/10 would shoot someone again.

[Ellmida]

On 1/29/2019 at 6:13 PM, Sgtteddybear said:

...... I'm not hated for being male.

 

So really, what I've learned is that it's not my fault and it really just is the community itself. I thought I was doing something wrong at first, but looking at my interactions on BDO, I see that it's not me. The community seems to be very immature on FFXIV. I've gotten blatantly ignored and in one instance insulted.

 

 

First time experiences vary and I am happy you discovered an rp environment that you like and good friends.

 

I do not feel it was entirely necessary that when you praise another community to backhand the one you are currently posting in so I guess it was a little disappointing that you felt it was needed.

 

I personally often find myself regretting that there seems to be a relatively small number of those who roleplay heterosexual or even bi-sexual males because while relationship rp is something I would like to explore somewhat it's an incredibly small pool that I have noticed that is available. This was sort of my surprise than that someone who roleplays this type of character than was having difficulty finding meaningful interactions and I can only conclude that if you were behaving respectfully than your encounters within this game were met with the rare and occassional jerks that tend to populate every rp community.

 

I am glad that you managed to find your niche with some great people however and hope you continue to be happy with BDO.

[Kazex Voss]

Still surprises me. 

[ToxNox]

On 1/25/2019 at 9:54 PM, C'kayah Polaali said:

I think part of this may be perceptual bias - a fairly large percentage of male characters I've seen are simply unapproachable. They brood in the corner, or growl at anyone who comes near, or are simply too shy to say anything.  Some are uninterested in other people's RP and simply want to play out their own with other people. Some want to dominate the RP. Outside of erp, most of these characters don't see a lot of actual play with other people.

 

I've played almost exclusively male characters in FFXIV, ranging from the gregarious crime lord C'kayah to the philosophical Baliir, the evil-as-hell Setoh, the blueblooded Naukha. On none of them I had too much trouble finding RP.

 

Get all the RP you can eat with this one simple trick!

 

Sounds clickbaity, but I read this in an improv essay once and started applying it to my RP. In my experience it's made a huge difference in my ability to get RP:

 

"Play your character as if they were an extra in a movie about your RP partner."

 

It's a different way of casting the old "Be a generous RP partner", with a little Dale Carnegie thrown in. Most roleplayers have some sort of story - usually a bunch of stories - going on about their character. Even if it's only in their heads, they have this. And in these stories, they're the hero. The protagonist. We're all protagonists in our own stories, after all. If you can help them with these stories - if you can RP in a way that supports their story and helps move it forward, then most people will see you as a jewel.

 

I know this is an old convo, but I just want to say that I really really liked this post. This is great advice, and I think I'm going to start approaching my attempts to RP from this angle. 

[Kohagura]

I could see this happening if you are trying to do ERP or romance RP with female characters, since then there are a lot of people that like to RP as their preferred gender, so maybe you are finding girls who prefer other girls and don't like guy characters (that could be men irl or lesbian irl)...

 

I mean I do see some hostility on occasion on my male character, where someone will get mad at me for wearing anything too sexy lol (like the bunny suit from Gold Saucer), but then they have no complaints with a female character wearing something even more revealing. That is a double standard for sure.

 

But otherwise it shouldn't be harder for a male character to RP any non-sexual RPs in general...

 

But I guess maybe some people really are biased. It wasn't in an RP, but I once met someone on FFXIV who was super mean to me just because my character was male (even though I'm female irl), and yet loved my IRL male friends because they had female characters lol.

 

Best thing would be to just keep searching and find an RP group who accepts you for who you are and isn't sexist/homophobic (I know you said you're straight, but I mean homophobic as in guys RPing as female who hate guy characters in fear of "becoming gay", who go as far to exclude any male characters and only want to interact female characters).

There are definitely role play groups out there who accept without discrimination, and some even who may prefer guys.

 

Though, at least in my experience, most of the RP I've seen was either majority lesbian character or gay characters. But the last RP I did in FFXIV was friendly to everyone including men of any orientation. It was a very casual bar RP though.

Edited October 4, 2019 by Kohagura