Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater

[Reldin]

I think mine has to be actually roleplaying on FFXIV. Been on the game since 2.0 launch but I never fully dove into the roleplay scene. I used to have no problem getting into RP or even running RP events and storylines before FFXIV, but I had also been doing it for superhero based MMOs. I think after doing that for a few years, I burned myself out and after falling off the RP wagon for awhile, I lost a bit of confidence in roleplaying in other settings. I used to be able to run multiple RP guilds when it came to superhero settings but over here on FFXIV I can barely bring myself to do any social roleplay.

[AmeKusakari]

[align=center]Okay wow. So I transferred to Balmung today and my friend showed me around the rp hotspots. First off I'm impressed with the amount of people, but upon arriving at the Quicksand and seeing everyone I suddenly got super freaken nervous.  Part of me really wants to jump in an rp, but the other part of me is terrified to because I'm so new and I'm still learning the lore, as well as I have no real nice outfits to use for rp.  It seems the rp style is fairly different to what I'm used to.  (I mean it's amazing that people incorporate the emotes beautifully into their rp)  But I've never done that and trying to learn to balance my inner writer with posts small enough not to lose track is going to be hard.    Any suggestions for how I can sort of get involved?  I'm joining a company tomorrow that is a friend's but it only has 8 people, and I would like to meet more, and I'm looking for people who are comfortable with a newbie to the game and are willing to give constructive points if I stray from the lore.[/align]

[align=center]~Ame[/align]

[Warren Castille]

[align=center]Okay wow. So I transferred to Balmung today and my friend showed me around the rp hotspots. First off I'm impressed with the amount of people, but upon arriving at the Quicksand and seeing everyone I suddenly got super freaken nervous.  Part of me really wants to jump in an rp, but the other part of me is terrified to because I'm so new and I'm still learning the lore, as well as I have no real nice outfits to use for rp.  It seems the rp style is fairly different to what I'm used to.  (I mean it's amazing that people incorporate the emotes beautifully into their rp)  But I've never done that and trying to learn to balance my inner writer with posts small enough not to lose track is going to be hard.    Any suggestions for how I can sort of get involved?  I'm joining a company tomorrow that is a friend's but it only has 8 people, and I would like to meet more, and I'm looking for people who are comfortable with a newbie to the game and are willing to give constructive points if I stray from the lore.[/align]

[align=center]~Ame[/align]

 

Lurk more. Hang out in public spaces, try and get familiar with the ebb and flow of open RP. It's not really much different from other games, I think, aside from the lore stuff.

 

Lore is pretty much distributed in quests and the main story. There are a myriad crash courses available on the official forums and in lots of threads here, but you'll become pretty aware of how the world works just by playing the game. My advice would be to remain vague and general about your history or character until you feel more cemented in how stuff works in and around Eorzea.

[Alothia]

Ah...insecurities. I've got a lot of them. Fortunately, a lot of them stemmed from bad RP partners and dealing with that, so it's something that I've realized isn't really a problem with myself. But I'm still worried about some things.

 

• So, I didn't start RPing until this game came out. I had no idea what it was, much less how to do it. So I'm insecure because I feel as if I'm still a total n00b.
  
• I worry that my character is too much of a Mary Sue. I mean, she has her reasons for trying to come off as a big ray of sunshine, and she's got a lot of stuff hidden under the surface, but a lot of people don't know about it unless they bother to ask.
  
• I worry that I don't write stuff that's engaging. Like, I like my writing...but I don't know if anyone else does.
  
• I get jealous when my RP partners have alts and spend time on them....I think that feeds into my whole "I don't think I'm a good writer" thing.
  

[Cecily Jisi]

Well, I'm not entirely sure about Cecily just yet, but I know a few problems about myself in terms of RPing is definitely insecurity. I'm WAY too shy about approaching others IC because I feel 9/10 times I'll be rejected or flat out ignored [usually the latter]. And I guess another thing is writing a backstory for her. I haven't been able to think of something for her just yet, but I feel once I start interacting more, I'll definitely think of something.

[Warren Castille]

Well, I'm not entirely sure about Cecily just yet, but I know a few problems about myself in terms of RPing is definitely insecurity. I'm WAY too shy about approaching others IC because I feel 9/10 times I'll be rejected or flat out ignored [usually the latter]. And I guess another thing is writing a backstory for her. I haven't been able to think of something for her just yet, but I feel once I start interacting more, I'll definitely think of something.

 

A lot of folks are fine with being asked in tells for company! If you see people talking and want to join in, shoot a tell off OOC asking if it's alright for you to hop in. That helps break the worryawkward barrier down.

[Klynzahr]

My Insecurity is the new FC i'm starting.

 

I hope I don't fuck it up agaaaaaiinnnnn.

 

Arghghghgh!

 

 

Tut tut.... we'll be fine.... just don't blow anyone up, insult any insecure folks, host too many Rp events, fail to host enough RP events, blow anyone up, accidentally recruit any asshats, blow anyone up, insult anybody or murder the FC leader and we're golden!!!!

 

(I'm terrified too)

[111]

My Insecurity is the new FC i'm starting.

 

I hope I don't fuck it up agaaaaaiinnnnn.

 

Arghghghgh!

 

 

Tut tut.... we'll be fine.... just don't blow anyone up, insult any insecure folks, host too many Rp events, fail to host enough RP events, blow anyone up, accidentally recruit any asshats, blow anyone up, insult anybody or murder the FC leader and we're golden!!!!

 

(I'm terrified too)

But I love doing all those things 

[Klynzahr]

My Insecurity is the new FC i'm starting.

 

I hope I don't fuck it up agaaaaaiinnnnn.

 

Arghghghgh!

 

 

Tut tut.... we'll be fine.... just don't blow anyone up, insult any insecure folks, host too many Rp events, fail to host enough RP events, blow anyone up, accidentally recruit any asshats, blow anyone up, insult anybody or murder the FC leader and we're golden!!!!

 

(I'm terrified too)

But I love doing all those things 

 

We are DOOMED!

[13uddy]

I wouldn't call my character "upbeat", but he is positive, and I worry I'm just going to be completely ignored for not being "Grr, gloom, doom and despair!" all the time.  It isn't like he's bouncing off the walls like an anime baby given too much sugar or annoyingly trying to get everyone else to be positive, but I still worry he'll be seen that way for trying to be civil, saying please and thank you and being just a tad quirky.  

 

I'm also worried he'll never woo a Highlander or Roe lady, but that is another insecurity entirely.

[Ra'kasah Ralmel]

I suffer from a lot of anxiety and intense levels of self-depreciation. I'm afraid that my character concepts are bland or uninteresting. Crowds make me anxious ( huge events are amazing to behold, but ye gods the text just flies everywhere and I never seem to fit in just right ), and I'm always concerned of being shut out from the various cliques that exist in FCs and public hangout spots.

 

I'm always worried of looking like a fool and never having anyone to really hang out and RP with -- a feeling that ironically chases me away from interacting with other people. I've had a few negative experiences around Balmung in the past, and while I'm not going to let those completely ruin my time, they've certainly left a lingering, bitter taste. I just worry too much. The few people I have roleplayed with swore they've loved it, though. Which is nice.

[Valence]

I guess I can echo what has been already said a lot. You have to keep a RP network alive, keep contact with folks, and while i'm not scared to reach people out, I always fear that i'm coming at an inopportune moment, or being too invasive, intruding, or insisting...

[Coda]

I guess I can echo what has been already said a lot. You have to keep a RP network alive, keep contact with folks, and while i'm not scared to reach people out, I always fear that i'm coming at an inopportune moment, or being too invasive, intruding, or insisting...

You aren't!

 

Also, I have a sort of irrational fear that my character won't be taken as seriously because she's not a serious person 90% of the time, or that she'll be seen as the typical eRP-bait because she's flirtatious.

[Kilieit]

Basically spent my time since I transferred to Balmung too bowed by insecurity to do more than 2 single pieces of RP, both of which were pre-planned and with friends.

 

I'm worried my character comes off as boring unless I tell you his whole backstory, and obviously if I did that he'd come across as too attention-grabbing, and I'm worried he has too many NPC-based connections to seem fair, that he has too many skills to seem balanced, that people are going to yell at me over him having the Echo, that people are going to work out or find out he's not cisgender and direct crap at me over that (or if I tell people up-front to avoid misunderstandings, direct crap at me over "shoving it in their face"), that I made his character concept too narrow to fit into anything, that if I made it any wider he'd be even more OP than he probably already is, that people will think I'm bad for making him from a fan-made tribe rather than trying to fit him into one of the lore-approved ones, that people will see stuff I wrote on my blog and assume I'm doing public RP with him as WoL (which I'm not)...

 

Every time I think "oh hey, maybe I could go to that event" I end up talking myself out of it and ending up at "they probably won't want someone like my character there; I'll spare them the trouble of fitting me in". Regardless of how well the event actually suits my character.

 

Like, I could probably see a listing for an event being like, "meeting of xaela fishermen who do bodyguard work on the side and are secretly associated to the Dutiful Sisters", and still somehow convince myself I'm not welcome or that turning up would be a nuisance for the organisers. >_>

[Kellach Woods]

I'm worried my character comes off as boring unless I tell you his whole backstory, and obviously if I did that he'd come across as too attention-grabbing, and I'm worried he has too many NPC-based connections to seem fair, that he has too many skills to seem balanced, that people are going to yell at me over him having the Echo, that people are going to work out or find out he's not cisgender and direct crap at me over that (or if I tell people up-front to avoid misunderstandings, direct crap at me over "shoving it in their face"), that I made his character concept too narrow to fit into anything, that if I made it any wider he'd be even more OP than he probably already is, that people will think I'm bad for making him from a fan-made tribe rather than trying to fit him into one of the lore-approved ones, that people will see stuff I wrote on my blog and assume I'm doing public RP with him as WoL (which I'm not)...

 

I RP as a character that:

- literally has the Mime job.

- has a brother who has the Echo.

- isn't even from anywhere canonically IC.

- is pansexual.

- is essentially overly competent for his age, with a recorded solo IC kill of a Demon Tome as well as other feats of equal strength and stupidity.

 

and I still somehow get RP. I'm sure you'll be fine!

 

Rah rah!

-

[Dras Black]

This is a pretty easy question for me to answer, the fact that I have NO idea what is considered "normal" and normal seems to very widely from person to person..

 

Are PLDs common? or are their only a group of them?

is any "Job" common?

most in this world would probably NOT wana go into, and do the things we (assuming there are high lvls) go and do every day because it might mean certain death.

 

Even the core "How does Psysick" work gets called into question when you think about it, Can I use Eos? or Selene? It frightens me to do a lot of this stuff, because I'm worried about social phopas and the "You WhAT?!" and getting the jeers of people saying that Drassy is overpowered.

 

so typically I use Scholar more to its name then its class.. I read a lot.. I'm still studding to become a great knight (that will probably never happen) so.. yeah Its why I tend to not engage unless engaged, don't get me wrong you poke me all bets are off!

[L'ohba Tia]

This is a pretty easy question for me to answer, the fact that I have NO idea what is considered "normal" and normal seems to very widely from person to person..

 

Are PLDs common? or are their only a group of them?

is any "Job" common?

most in this world would probably NOT wana go into, and do the things we (assuming there are high lvls) go and do every day because it might mean certain death.

 

Even the core "How does Psysick" work gets called into question when you think about it, Can I use Eos? or Selene? It frightens me to do a lot of this stuff, because I'm worried about social phopas and the "You WhAT?!" and getting the jeers of people saying that Drassy is overpowered.

 

so typically I use Scholar more to its name then its class.. I read a lot.. I'm still studding to become a great knight (that will probably never happen) so.. yeah Its why I tend to not engage unless engaged, don't get me wrong you poke me all bets are off!

 

I can answer most of that. Just remember that just because something is rare doesn't mean it's impossible to make it work.

Paladins are fairly rare. They're the Sultana's royal guard, but their reputation is pretty much trashed thanks to Syndicate plots.

Most jobs are lost arts, so any job will be pretty rare. Some jobs, namely black mage and white mage, are actually considered illegal. So if you want to play one, you shouldn't be open about it.

Physick is just like any other spell, except that it's shaped through magical geometry instead of shaping it through your mind. You don't need a fairy to cast it, and fairies would actually be rare because the method of creating them was lost with the Nymians. Though you could, in-character, justify your fairy as just being a very uniquely designed carbuncle since they're just constructs also made with geometry.

[Warren Castille]

There used to be a fairly healthy sect of paladin roleplayers that hung out in Ul'dah, but time and roleplay have lead most of them away to other places by now.

 

The job itself isn't off-limits, but there's some qualifying first: Sultansworn are the official guardians of the Sultanate (despite never appearing in basically any cutscenes). Some quests also reveal them to be sort of city-state specific investigators; When things happen involving the crown, or some valuable artifacts, it's the Sultansworn who pursue the criminals involved and set about bringing justice.

 

Free Paladins aren't bound to the city-state like Sultansworn appear to be: They're simply knights who are taught the methods of combat that the Sultansworn utilize and told to go do good in the world. The fighting style was a strictly-kept secret until recent years, and while we don't know the actual number of Free Paladins out there in the world, talking to Jenlyns after completing the lv50 quest (but before starting the HW quests) will have him say something to the affect of "our numbers are on the rise!"

 

Whether this means other Free Paladins being taught or more 'Sworn being recruited isn't clear, so that's more room to wiggle into.

[Askier]

There used to be a fairly healthy sect of paladin roleplayers that hung out in Ul'dah, but time and roleplay have lead most of them away to other places by now.

 

I miss those days when they were around.

[Kibu]

I'm a painfully shy person IRL, and I've been out of the RP scene for years except with a couple of friends through forums or IMs that turn into something more like collaborative writing. I worry that I'm so new to this game and so rusty with RP that anything I do is going to sound totally noobish, contrived, and un-engaging.

 

I got to do a little RP with some amazing players the other night who were absolutely fantastic. But going into it I almost had a panic attack, even though we'd talked a bit before and I'd been invited into it. I still spent a good 5-10 minutes shaking like a chihuahua in front of my computer and almost broke and ran. I feel like I'm a burden and doing anything with me is a waste of time, partly because I take too long to ponder my response and so it feels like I'm replying excessively slow and partly because I really just don't know things.

 

I guess overall I'm just exceptionally insecure all around.

[RiniKett]

I'm a painfully shy person IRL, and I've been out of the RP scene for years except with a couple of friends through forums or IMs that turn into something more like collaborative writing. I worry that I'm so new to this game and so rusty with RP that anything I do is going to sound totally noobish, contrived, and un-engaging.

 

I got to do a little RP with some amazing players the other night who were absolutely fantastic. But going into it I almost had a panic attack, even though we'd talked a bit before and I'd been invited into it. I still spent a good 5-10 minutes shaking like a chihuahua in front of my computer and almost broke and ran. I feel like I'm a burden and doing anything with me is a waste of time, partly because I take too long to ponder my response and so it feels like I'm replying excessively slow and partly because I really just don't know things.

 

I guess overall I'm just exceptionally insecure all around.

 

*hugs*

 

I would like to tell you that you're never going to mess up, but to mess up is to be human. Instead...Just don't be afraid to fail. It might happen, but you will never know if you don't try. Like you said, there are some amazing players out there and this server is full of understanding people. Really? 9/10 times people would much prefer someone who isn't sure of themselves make a mistake than to deal with people who are arrogant and won't listen to advice. You obviously don't want to be a bother, which shows you care about how others experience your RP than just what you get out of it. That's caring. That's becoming rarer and rarer so don't think that is a flaw. You'll get in the swing of things. Just give it time. I'd be happy to RP with you anytime. : )

 

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."

[Shofie]

I'm actually just....really, really gunshy. I had a pretty bad RP experience that has left me reluctant to engage with the community and makes me especially wary of people who approach me.

 

My character is fun and I honestly enjoy her, but I strictly limit my RP to a handful of people, and anyone who happens to show up at my tavern nights at my FC house. I don't mind casually engaging, but plotting and stuff leaves me cautious.

[Kellach Woods]

wow i can't even go 15 posts without sounding hypocritical i must be a fucking asshole.

 

* * *

 

anyway, outside of a very very small group of people I'm essentially 99% certain that the entire server hates my character and me, so I don't approach people because why in the shit would you approach people who hate you? Bee-tee-dubs that's OOC not IC.

 

and in-between that and a bunch of peeps outright saying they wouldn't RP with me for OOC reasons I'm kind of thinking why do I bother?

[Juromaro]

I'm a painfully shy person IRL, and I've been out of the RP scene for years except with a couple of friends through forums or IMs that turn into something more like collaborative writing. I worry that I'm so new to this game and so rusty with RP that anything I do is going to sound totally noobish, contrived, and un-engaging.

 

I got to do a little RP with some amazing players the other night who were absolutely fantastic. But going into it I almost had a panic attack, even though we'd talked a bit before and I'd been invited into it. I still spent a good 5-10 minutes shaking like a chihuahua in front of my computer and almost broke and ran. I feel like I'm a burden and doing anything with me is a waste of time, partly because I take too long to ponder my response and so it feels like I'm replying excessively slow and partly because I really just don't know things.

 

I guess overall I'm just exceptionally insecure all around.

 

 

I feel you there, cept I'm not shy IRL, my wife has social anxiety disorder so I understand what it's like to be shy in person. However in game I'm extremely shy. I started my MMO career with PvE, then moved to PvP, and when Rift came out I decided I didn't like the communities of PvE/PvP servers anymore to many "Brah L2P nub" and other various forms of childish behavior.

 

I've been playing on RP servers for awhile now, but I've never roleplayed. I want to so bad but I can't. I sit there every night trying to create a storyline for my character Castian Kensaki, but when I get something nailed down I start to second guess it. Like at first I wanted Castian to be a shinobi/bodyguard so I leveled a NIN to get access to the class gear, but that changed when I saw alot of people and got alot of whispers about how they too were shinobi or bodyguards and wanted me to join their free company, but when I'd observe them or talk with them they'd be way to imposing for me to jump in. Then a friend I made(who no longer plays it seems) told me her character was a bodyguard type so I changed my RP story cause I really wanted to RP with her(doesn't seem right to have a bodyguard guard another).

 

Well I changed my story to being a Wander/Ronin since I'm almost positive they'll release Samurai at some point(I hope). And have joined an FC and farming Aery/Vault for my RP set so I could finally roleplay, but I can't. I sit there all night thinking about how all these experienced roleplayers would look at me and think I'm stupid or ignore me completely because my backstory is too generic. Or I sit there and think of how people won't want to RP with me because I play on ps4 and my chat response is delayed because I have to put down my controller to type on my keyboard, and I have to extend my chatlog to full screen cause I can't adjust it and sometimes jump by accident. So I end up staying in the duty finder all day doing what I do best while I get bored and burned out on the game because my desire seems to be so far out of reach that I just run the same content over and over.

 

Then there is what I want from an RP story. I'm a romantic, I want my character to fall in love, I want to explore a storyline where he and a girl travel the world together doing all sorts of things while their bond strengthens to the point of an RP wedding and beyond. But I can't go out there and meet characters and work for that kind of story because I have what I guess could be best explained as stage fright. Or there is the fear that I'll get attached to a character and the person behind that character will stop playing the game all together effectively ending whatever story we had or could have had.

 

Right now the best RP story I can think of is "Oh I'm a merc, I go out drink in the tavern telling war stories, then go kill more stuff." because that is all that seems like is open to me character wise. Add that to the fear of trying to join RP with already established characters makes roleplay a very daunting and trying experience.

[Virella]

I'm a painfully shy person IRL, and I've been out of the RP scene for years except with a couple of friends through forums or IMs that turn into something more like collaborative writing. I worry that I'm so new to this game and so rusty with RP that anything I do is going to sound totally noobish, contrived, and un-engaging.

 

I got to do a little RP with some amazing players the other night who were absolutely fantastic. But going into it I almost had a panic attack, even though we'd talked a bit before and I'd been invited into it. I still spent a good 5-10 minutes shaking like a chihuahua in front of my computer and almost broke and ran. I feel like I'm a burden and doing anything with me is a waste of time, partly because I take too long to ponder my response and so it feels like I'm replying excessively slow and partly because I really just don't know things.

 

I guess overall I'm just exceptionally insecure all around.

 

 

I feel you there, cept I'm not shy IRL, my wife has social anxiety disorder so I understand what it's like to be shy in person. However in game I'm extremely shy. I started my MMO career with PvE, then moved to PvP, and when Rift came out I decided I didn't like the communities of PvE/PvP servers anymore to many "Brah L2P nub" and other various forms of childish behavior.

 

I've been playing on RP servers for awhile now, but I've never roleplayed. I want to so bad but I can't. I sit there every night trying to create a storyline for my character Castian Kensaki, but when I get something nailed down I start to second guess it. Like at first I wanted Castian to be a shinobi/bodyguard so I leveled a NIN to get access to the class gear, but that changed when I saw alot of people and got alot of whispers about how they too were shinobi or bodyguards and wanted me to join their free company, but when I'd observe them or talk with them they'd be way to imposing for me to jump in. Then a friend I made(who no longer plays it seems) told me her character was a bodyguard type so I changed my RP story cause I really wanted to RP with her(doesn't seem right to have a bodyguard guard another).

 

Well I changed my story to being a Wander/Ronin since I'm almost positive they'll release Samurai at some point(I hope). And have joined an FC and farming Aery/Vault for my RP set so I could finally roleplay, but I can't. I sit there all night thinking about how all these experienced roleplayers would look at me and think I'm stupid or ignore me completely because my backstory is too generic. Or I sit there and think of how people won't want to RP with me because I play on ps4 and my chat response is delayed because I have to put down my controller to type on my keyboard, and I have to extend my chatlog to full screen cause I can't adjust it and sometimes jump by accident. So I end up staying in the duty finder all day doing what I do best while I get bored and burned out on the game because my desire seems to be so far out of reach that I just run the same content over and over.

 

Then there is what I want from an RP story. I'm a romantic, I want my character to fall in love, I want to explore a storyline where he and a girl travel the world together doing all sorts of things while their bond strengthens to the point of an RP wedding and beyond. But I can't go out there and meet characters and work for that kind of story because I have what I guess could be best explained as stage fright. Or there is the fear that I'll get attached to a character and the person behind that character will stop playing the game all together effectively ending whatever story we had or could have had.

 

Right now the best RP story I can think of is "Oh I'm a merc, I go out drink in the tavern telling war stories, then go kill more stuff." because that is all that seems like is open to me character wise. Add that to the fear of trying to join RP with already established characters makes roleplay a very daunting and trying experience.

*slams fist down*

 

Generic backstories are good backstories! And dude, really, get out there and find people to roleplay with. Balmung can use more roleplayers, and really people feel like you all the time. Even I do at times. It isn't strange or odd! Poke me ingame for some RP someday, but really, just make a LF contacts thread or something, stick your head in events and in no time you will have tons of folk to RP with