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Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater


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One more thing to add.

 

Maybe it's just me but you see those people just sitting around, standing around. And you want to walk up to them but then you can't because their squad arrived. And then it makes you wonder if they actually ever had the time of the day for your random walk up if you moved earlier and before their squad arrived.

 

Just me?

 

Ocake :3

 

I get like that too at times.  That "damn, I'll be interrupting" feeling.  Some days, I just say screw it and stick my nose right in the middle of their crew.

 

Oh sometimes I do that too. Fortune favors the bold because then you sort of realize that the worst that could happen is they brush you off as a whole and you're back to square one.

 

@u@-b

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One more thing to add.

 

Maybe it's just me but you see those people just sitting around, standing around. And you want to walk up to them but then you can't because their squad arrived. And then it makes you wonder if they actually ever had the time of the day for your random walk up if you moved earlier and before their squad arrived.

 

Just me?

 

Ocake :3

 

I get like that too at times.  That "damn, I'll be interrupting" feeling.  Some days, I just say screw it and stick my nose right in the middle of their crew.

 

Oh sometimes I do that too. Fortune favors the bold because then you sort of realize that the worst that could happen is they brush you off as a whole and you're back to square one.

 

@u@-b

 

I look at it like this: 

 

Watch the scene they are doing. Is this something that looks like it would be perfectly IC for someone to stumble in the middle of? Like people just sitting/standing around chatting? Or are they actually DOING something? If they are just chatting, i'll frequently barrel in, at least on Nef, cause that's what she does. It's kinda like sticking your foot on the door and then just waiting for them to either open it, ignore it, or shut it. Just try to, no matter what happens, make sure I don't take it as an ooc slight because sometimes you just can't keep up with everyone/everything. If there is "WALL-o-TEXT" going on it might be best to send a whisper beforehand.

 

Oh.. that wall-o-text.. bane of our RP existence. It's wonderful because it means there is so much going on but it makes everything so hard to keep up with. I'm always frantic trying to make sure I don't miss someone's posting, but it can be easily missed when someone tries to join in the convo. I dunno about everyone else but my screen is completely covered with text boxes while I'm RPing. I don't always SEE what folks are doing so if I don't respond PLEASE PM ME!!

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Speed

 

I am forever anxious my writing speed will not be fast enough, or that I won't be able to match my partner if they write a lengthily paragraph. Coming off forum RP, rapid-fire is not something I am overly accustom to unless it's short "im" style RPs. I'm also not the most astute when it comes to grammar. I'll occasionally leave out a word or something. And due to how the chat works, it's hard to go back and proof-read. So I'm left hoping I didn't make any errors. 

 

Approaching people for RP is also not something that comes easy. I always feel I might be inconveniencing someone, or won't necessarily have a specific plot at the ready to offer. What ends up happening is I either don't ask at all or put off actually setting one up.

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A lot of people have anxiety about playing villains. I think that recent discussion has made me realize that such characters are a delicate matter.

 

If it's a character designed to fulfill the role of antagonist within a story arc, I can see the use in making them NPCs. That is generally the approach I take. If the character is meant to be morally ambiguous and resemble a PC, I think that perhaps not specifically defining them as a villain in your own mind can help. "A crafty hero and crafty villain differ in but a word." I think it makes sense to simply juxtapose the PC's goals opposite others in a story line, and other players will organically come to see them as an adversary for their own characters. There was never a specific intent to make the character a villain, but you did make their goals adversarial, and so they maintain the behavior and overall feel that makes a PC engaging for you personally to play, while at the same time fulfilling the role you intended them to in a greater overarching narrative. There was a slot for a villain open and your PC naturally gravitated there flexibly as part of your plans. That is just my idea. Perhaps if there is fear that the character won't be received well, lure others in with likability and gradually develop them into a foe.

 

Aggressively anti-social villains that cannot function within the day to day environment PCs occupy naturally may not always be easy to play in a casual, impromptu RP encounter because of the massive conflict they heap upon anyone who approaches them. That is why such villains in my RP are exclusively NPCs.

 

That being said, anxieties. Spoilered for length. I get the feeling this is too telling, but to hell with it.

 

 

 

I've mentioned it before, but from where I came from, I was moderator and one of the oldest RPers on the site, as well as a few other forums. I was new once of course, but it's been a long time since then. Coming to RPC, it was something of a fresh experience to be the new blood and have something to prove.

 

It's strange, when I first arrived at this site, I felt open enough to share these things, but now I feel a bit uncertain as to what good it'll do me. If I force myself to type, I wonder if it would provoke interest, or just vent stress? Is it a legitimate concern or just paranoia? When I was on other RP forums, I never needed to be concerned about what was considered average, or how the average player would react. I've seen quite clearly this is a place where you must tread lightly. I consider myself a confident writer, and I don't doubt my own ability that often, though like any I can hold myself to unreasonable standards. Yet despite this, I was surprised by how much this feeling can make me hesitate. It just comes to show doubt is not something you always outgrow.

 

If there is an anxiety, if I feel uncertain about the game or RP, I want to generally look inward first for a fault. I have a pretty strong paranoid streak. In the past it was very easy for me to assume others thought the worst of me, so keeping a leash on that habit is a tricky thing to do. Likewise, my tone doesn't translate well through text and it's easy for me to miscommunicate. I've spent years writing and somehow never ironed out this problem. In the end questions like "am I being avoided?" are just best ignored. There's no way for me to really know these things without being inappropriately nosy or psychic. So it's a two-decade old elephant in the room that goes unfed, and every once in a while I hear its stomach gurgle.

 

Also, style and taste cannot be accounted for. If a person wants something different from me, the challenge is welcome, and I love going outside of my usual comfort zone. I adjust-but to what degree? Which is appropriate and how far can I bend without violating the basic story angle I'm trying to communicate? It's easy to see me as someone who advocates playing powerful, exceptional characters, because I constantly talk about "the right to not suck" on the forum, but in practice I'm pretty conservative about dialing things up. If my story demands characters who are strong, I give it strong characters. If they must be weak, I make them weak. Every story needs to match the gritty, adventurous, or cinematic levels of realism to the characters, but that comes naturally. It's matching that up to the level others play by that can be tricky. I often wonder if I'm pushing it too far since suspension of disbelief is very personal and often involves deliberate restraint of good faith. What is too "forced?" What is too "edgy?" Fiction is suffused with soundbite catchphrases that have lost objective meaning in the context of criticism. It makes collaborative writing a nerve wracking affair, if you let it get to you.

 

Personal hand wringing aside, what about my RP itself?

 

I want to believe my character is liked, at least among the few players who've actually gotten to see her, and some who haven't. I'm not available enough so I keep from making too many snap conclusions. If there's a disconnect between how I want her perceived and how she is perceived, it's slight. A lot of the reactions to the character are more or less what I expected and in some cases engineered from the start, and I'm proud of that.

 

If there was anything I wanted more of, it'd probably be more people mistrusting of her. It feels more gratifying to me, narrative-wise, to build up to that level of sympathy and understanding. A character Virara spoke with recently was dumbfounded by her casual ease with the idea of murdering unwanted enemies from a shadowy organization, because she built a sense of identity on an action he'd come to see as deplorable and felt incredible regret over. I like seeing that sort of interaction, where there's the possibility Virara can act as a catalyst for change within another character, whether it's aggressively rejecting her way of doing things, or perhaps being unintentionally poisoned by her influence. From the start I intended any increased strength on the part of Virara to be ill portent. I do want her to be sympathetic, for I love the tragic monster, and her background is loaded with those. I intend to ramp up the level of questionable behavior on her part as her story progresses, but that in itself leads to another concern...

 

I need to net interest, but I want to do it organically. It has to be reciprocal; I'm not looking to push Virara into plots just to advertise my own; she needs characters she will care about and help with their problems, both so I can enjoy the storylines, and also to mutually develop characters. I know there are people who want to play with me, but I also lost a lot of them and I am uncertain as to how fast I ought to progress. I don't want to rush things, but I also don't want to go too slowly. If I start plantings seeds to grow into future events, will it be meaningless if none of the participants are left to reap the rewards by the time they reach maturation? People's schedules change, and their interest in FFXIV comes and goes. I want a playgroup that will stick with me at least with some degree of frequency, so that occasional events related to my story can be run. But other factors frequently separate play groups. The majority of the people originally involved in my first event are either gone from the game, gone from my FC, gone into different groups of players, or all of the above. The remaining few have waited very patiently for me to do anything with the storyline, and I feel deeply that I must deliver eventually, but I'm gunshy about getting burnt again.

 

Virara is just a hook, an entry point into a larger plotline that is bursting out from inside of me. She's small, in some cases even insignificant, to the objective behind the story, at least in the parts not related to herself and her Master. Yet I wonder if I won't get distracted by other plotlines, or the players will become busy and unable to participate. That's why I've held off for so long. If I cannot execute it in a way that satisfies me and will be concluded definitively, I feel uneasy about soldiering onward. So many RP I've been in essentially just don't finish. On BBS I was resigned to that, but this is a new world so to speak.

 

And of course there's the issue of flinging myself into other people's RP. I need to get involved to build connections and make people interested in my character, as well as getting to know characters I find fun to play with, or that will affect my writing in interesting ways. But I have to often consider whether I'm pushing too little or too much, or if I am sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. Everyone is so private and yet the public RP doesn't seem to be what I'm looking for. Even though I'm willing and able to do both, will either give long term story connections? I'm not totally sure. I shoot tells like a shotgun and hope for the best. I feel bad that at times it's led to me forgetting to keep up existing RP interactions, and so I want to re-establish those links. If I've neglected you lately, prod me to play and I'll do my best to accommodate.

 

Another stylistic concern as this devolves into incoherent rambling is the matter of foreshadowing and insinuation. I've often hinted at things that seem obvious to me but generally go unnoticed. I don't feel that it is because the others writing opposite me are stupid or anything; it's more like I'm again not really communicating my ideas in a comprehensible way. And at the same time, when I aggressively try to pursue making them comprehensible, I feel the subtlety is eradicated. It's very linked to the availability of players as well; what to do with the empty plot threads that are left hanging when I get people's characters invested and they must leave the game or become less available? Unusually, wasted effort doesn't bother me. I've written practical essays on RP concepts and story settings that never went into play. So this isn't a huge concern to me.

 

All this is moot if my writing style can't keep people engaged, or if my character is too outrageous to catch interest. So I'm always looking for ways to adjust to the tastes of specific players. I have been throwing out feelers, stretching myself thin over Balmung as far as my meager faculties can manage, and still I'm uncertain as to whether I've been able to actually land anyone who's interested in exploring Virara's background story deeper, outside of the core few. It's greedy of me, but I want to gather a party, I guess...

 

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I never really struggled to find consistent role-play in the other MMO's that I invested in over the years. Yet in FFXIV I often feel as though what I want is completely different to what the majority of role-players desire.

 

I've never really cared much for large events that are bloated with participants. Even if there's a valid reason for my character to attend I often just avoid going simply because dealing with the chat scroll alone is troublesome. It also risks becoming very stale to attend ball after ball and drinking contest after drinking contest.

 

Now, obviously people are free to do what they wish but I've noticed that a lot of role-players will give lip service to the idea of wanting to get out into the game world and commit to some long term travelling role-play with a focus on character development.

 

Many, however, cease to invest the moment they realise that my character isn't going to bed them within a few minutes of meeting them. Others turn out to not actually want to get away from their usual haunt (taverns and housing wards for the most part) and yet more will simply add someone to their friend list and then...never contact them again. Sometimes there's valid reasons for this - something may not work out or the real world can suddenly become very busy.

 

If this were an isolated incident then I'd be willing to shrug it off. Yet it is incredibly disheartening for it to happen again and again. Even when I actively seek people out to make connections or when I approach people who actively advertise themselves as being open and eager to escape the usual stagnation.

 

I've mentioned this in the past (knowing full well how controversial it may be) but quite a lot of role-players within this community can be rather frigid as well...especially if someone isn't 'in' with their circle of friends or wants something a bit more in-depth than attending one of the aforementioned busy events.

 

At this point people usually counter with 'well make your own events'. The thing is, I do (even though time-zones are a real pain to work around) and so I usually end up worrying that despite my enthusiasm for the game as a whole it just isn't worth investing in when it comes to role-play.

 

So I guess in many ways FFXIV is something of a culture shock. I often wonder if I'm alone in this regard or if I'm just not approachable. I'm not particularly shy nor do I doubt my ability to create and play a consistent and lore abiding character. Though I do think that the bulk of role-players simply want to interact with characters that are designed to fit in with whatever event happens to be the 'next big thing' rather than those who seek to get people to head out into the wilds on a classic adventure.

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I suppose I can echo on a lot of the things that have been brought up..

 

My main issue though currently, is fighting against the game that makes it extremely difficult for people not in the same FC to stay in touch, and that even worse for people that aren't in any FC yet. It makes it a real chore, and reaching a few players out doesn't mean that you will forge something lasting, and you will have to keep harassing them so that the relationship between character, good or bad or anything else, doesn't fall flat...

 

I am currently trying to friendlist people so that I can at least get a clue when they are online... Then it's the usual chore of trying to /tell them "hey want to RP?" again and again to the point you start to wonder if you are not being an annoying drag for them..

 

Also may be just due to the fact that i'm terrible at reaching people out. I'm just shy, or I don't know exactly what, but I always have to violence myself to do so. I'm learning though, but I never had to do that in other MMOs with more chat options available, which is a bit paradoxical considering that I have never been in such a huge, boiling RP community either...

 

Another thing that stems from that, is that RP is hard to make happen naturally. What I mean is that most of the time you have to initiate it by reaching people out (again and again), and except for the obvious places like the Quick Sands, walking up to a group of people doing something or someone or some event happening, is hard to do. You have to know that something is happening there or there to do it in the first place, and people are not necessarily going to be welcoming.

 

And it's even more frustrating knowing that for once in my life, it's a MMO with a RP community where there is always many things happening everywhere...

 

And there is that... I might very well just lack connections, a lot. I guess...

 

So i'll maybe eventually resolve myself to use that connection forum instead of rambling here.

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I'd probably say my biggest insecurity is my lack of faith in my own RP ability. I know I can type well and have roleplayed for years as a storyteller with some great feedback; yet the moment I get behind a singular character I just feel like my roleplay is either subpar, lacking character or plain boring. On FFXIV I've struggled to get into the full swing of plot driven roleplay simply because my shift pattern means I'll do an event then disappear for 5-6 days before being able to do the next. By then I'm normally too tired to do an event.

 

Another uncertainty seems to be the lack of people (Probably I just haven't met them yet) willing to write a really no holds barred story. I dislike having to tone down emotes or censor content because XYZ subject offends people and some people really seem to take things OOC when a character brings them up IC. Its irritating as often they are decent folk OOCly but that bleed through man. NTY.

 

I guess lastly, trying to expand my network is the biggest uphill struggle I've ever had in a MMO. Coming from a 24/7 100% IC Roleplaying server where you could always find some sort of roleplay and interaction to having to practically throw nets over people to drag them into some initial roleplay, whilst being incredibly persistent sometimes. Then you factor in time zones and it just becomes a massive headache trying to catch people online without waking up at about 3pm the next day from having to stay up so late.

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 Are you playing a bad guy and worry about people mixing OOC and IC and getting a bad impression of the person behind the monitor?

 

So much this right now.

I've had this issue before in the past with people being unable to see the distinct line between IC and OOC - more so with my playing a villain. Those that did, were sometimes very off-put by the lengths the character would go as a baddie - and weren't very keen on the fact that he would lie frequently IC, but never once bothered to ask OOC (though I never thought much of telling them he was lying to their face OOC either at the time.) about it. 

 

I don't care to revisit this type of scenario again, especially as I'm tailoring a story around a baddie... But it's hard not to reflect back on that situation, but I'm so sick and tired of playing a neutral or kind-hearted individual to appease a niche.

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I get worried about how my IC decisions OOCly affect other people...

Like sometimes Ashe does weird things or gets into weird situation and I'm always scared to OOCly piss someone else off because of it.

 

I'm also scared to plot things with new people 'cause I'm worried if the idea is stupid...also scared to plot things with people I know...I'm afraid that I'm too....overbearing about ideas even when I try to step back from IC situations I get worried then that people think I am ignoring their characters.

 

Another insecurity would be that my insecurities to people I don't usually RP with come off as stand-offish in OOC or people think I am intentionally slighting them when it's really just me being unsure how to proceed or trying to be general in communication when my character is surrounded by 10 other people >.<

I was a little intimidated by you at first, but I wouldn't call you stand-offish. ;) And I think Asheloux is a delight. Characters who act unexpectedly keep RP fresh and entertaining.

 

It's so unfair when people judge you (general you) by your character. I sometimes wonder how other RPers see me when they only know me as Solenne. She's reckless, snobbish, privileged, slightly diabolical, and very used to being the queen bee, while I'm this little mouse of a person who spends most of her free time hiding at home because people are scary. That's not to say Solenne doesn't have a lot of good qualities, but they aren't always what people see first. I just hope that doesn't end up reflecting too poorly on me. 

 

On a completely unrelated note, I'm now slightly paranoid because one of my characters recently got OOCly rejected by someone whose character was romantically interested in her. His reason? He found out that I don't ERP. Now, I don't have anything against ERP - I want to make that perfectly clear. I just avoid it for personal reasons. But now I'm wondering, do I not write interesting characters? Are they not complex enough, not dynamic enough, to be worth pursuing for their own sake? Ugh... this is why romantic RP is such a minefield, and why I usually don't actively pursue it.

You'd be surprised how nervous I am RPing with people for the first time in general. I was really scared the first time I RP'd with you and Isa 'cause I'm like....trying to include everyone but don't want people to be turned off by Ashe so afraid to interact with them?

 

I think this is the problem I have with Sah and Aiden too...I'm so afraid that I will do something wrong that doing it at all makes me super nervous.

 

IRL I am quiet and not really super outgoing or anything which is weird when I am in a leadership position in an FC. I think people expect me to be super confident and sure of everything I choose for the FC but then in my head I'm all...am I bringing everyone down? or something >.<

 

URGH FEELINGS MAN.

 

Ask Orrin what it was like when I was first setting stuff up with him...I would apologize for EVERYTHING haha.

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I actually have a lot of insecurities when it comes to roleplaying. A fact that surprises me because I do not really have any at all outside of said roleplay.

 

The whole idea behind roleplaying makes me nervous and I often question if it's something that is even for me. When I do actually roleplay I have a million questions and thoughts going threw my head.

 

Am I doing this right?

Is my character interesting enough?

Am I interrupting this person?

Oh God, they para rp and I'm struggling to think of interesting replies.

"Why have they not answered my /tells for rp the last few days?

Am I boring to them?

Do they not like me OOC?

That person is really popular on the RPC, they'd have no time for me.

 

*sigh*

Man that list just goes on & on.

 

These questions usually cause me to re-roll my characters into something that I hope is more interesting. But even doing that has had a real negative effect on my roleplay, of which is a different topic for a different time.

 

 

Last night I got to roleplay with 2 people from the forums here. One of which I consider to be a very good OOC friend. And, even roleplaying with her makes me anxious that I will do something dumb or stupid and be looked down upon for it even though I know she'd never do that.

 

But for some stupid reason, the fear is still there.

 

Oh man, where did all this honesty come from!?

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I want to reiterate what a delight the responses in this thread have been. The Dark Lord is pleased with the airing of grievances. I think it does a good thing for perspective to see friends, peers and strangers alike all concerned over the same things. That person you like but haven't been able to approach? She's got worries just like you do. That cool person who seems to always be so certain? Giant bundle of nerves. That person you've never seen around, let alone met properly? Fretting over the same issues you yourself have.

 

Thank you all for sharing!

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Also, I want to say that like for artists, the feeling you will always get out of your character will always, always be different than what people get out of him/her. You simply lack detachment, everyone does, and it's something you can't really fight against. 

 

Honest feedbacks are probably the best tools to get past that issue when it arises.

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Alright, insecurity ramble mode go!

 

I think my biggest uncertainty/insecurity comes from having ideas for things (events, plots, even an FC) but wondering if they're interesting or fun enough to get any interest at all behind them. The last time I ran a plot with my FC, I literally was a ball of stress and worry that it'd be some uninspired trash tier story.

 

I mean I definitely wonder/doubt about my characters and how interesting/engaging they are, along with my writing (oh man, my writing LOL I feel so rusty). I (still) don't have wiki pages up (which is my fault, another insecurity dealing with writing there) so I have to try to hook people through RP or general chatter which does and doesn't always work as my characters don't go spilling their life stories within the first two or three meetings.

 

Speaking of, I've worried now and then, even with Ishgard being open and playable and all that, if playing a knight (a simple, lowborn, archetypal knight of sorts) is just too boring/not what people look to include, even as a side/background character. It's not an edgy dark knight. It's not some Not-Game-of-Thrones styled noble or even a dragoon. (none of which I'm knocking, just a comparison/statement).

 

To a somewhat lesser extent, I wonder now and then how I'm perceived. I know there's at least one person out there (*waves*) who has a rather passionate dislike of yours truly (oh the Guild Wars 2 days...) so when I interact with someone new a small part of me wonders if I'm fighting against xyz opinion/thoughts on me already.

 

SO yeah. Those and a lot of the ones that have already been mentioned. @_@

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...

 

Speaking of, I've worried now and then, even with Ishgard being open and playable and all that, if playing a knight (a simple, lowborn, archetypal knight of sorts) is just too boring/not what people look to include, even as a side/background character. It's not an edgy dark knight. It's not some Not-Game-of-Thrones styled noble or even a dragoon. (none of which I'm knocking, just a comparison/statement).

...

 

Just my two cents to you and anyone else who feels this way...

 

quite frankly I -love- finding people who play 'simple' characters. Why? Because they almost invariably are some of the most interesting people to RP with. Having an awesome backstory is cool and all, but it can also be a crutch or even a weight to bring you down. Starting simple and just BEING can make your character's personality just shine through because there is no... preconceived notion of who they are based on what they are? Dunno if that makes sense. 

 

When I first started RPing... back in the old days before there were MMOs or even forums (anyone remember Rollmaster or MERPS?) I would so over analyze and make almost a novel for my character's backstory. But when things came right down too it.. 90% of it wasn't used or even mattered for the campaign. Occasionally the DM would bring in a few ties or something, but over all it was a waste of time and I spent too much time going "how does this fit with my character and their backstory?"

 

As you can tell *prods her wiki page* I really don't do that anymore. I've got some stories and whatnot, but it's all actually come after I started RPing and figuring out who Nef was though interacting with people. But that's lead to it's own insecurities in that with so little of Nef posted that maybe folks just don't take her, or I as a player, as a serious RPer. Doesn't' help that with the holidays I've had IRL stuff keeping me from logging in and RPing, and when I do log in it feels like I've "just missed" everyone. Then I have to stop myself. It's freaking christmas... I'm not the ONLY one who's having IRL intrude on RP. Just trying to make myself be patient is HARD though. >_<;;

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I have to echo Nefzen on this one Martiallais.  

 

Sometimes with everyone trying to make their characters notable or important.  Edgy, special, not boring, etc.  It makes the simple characters the most interesting (and often rare).  These characters tend to stand on their own merit, not the merit of what happened before.

 

In the old days of "that other mmo" one of the most interesting characters I had ever run across was a young lady who was 'technically' a rogue by class, but really was just this average everyday woman trying to cope with all the other insanity swirling about the game world around her.

 

That lowborn knight, or even knight errant, I think would do well in a world full of dragons, primal gods, and people who shape aether like some do clay.

 

Hell, I'm playing a courier.  It's working out well for myself so far, perhaps we'll cross paths.

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One of the great beauties of the FF XIV world is how it makes "simple" characters such an easy and natural part of things. There is no need to be grand or glorious to belong, and even modest talent allows such a "mundane" character to fit in amongst the adventurers who travel Eorzea, while maintaining close proximity to those wonderfully poignant and relatable tensions of everyday like (family, social, economic, legal, etc.). Embrace it! Its a wonderful opportunity and part of why I LOVE FF XIV RP.

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For anyone who has met Ben and roleplayed with him, he is first and foremost a homeless guy. He isn't sad about it or it isn't used as a sympathy hook, it is simply a fact of who he is. He sees great freedom in not being bound by a home, or a job, or any of the things that trap us in our own lives. However, like all people, he has a story and he has his own struggles and things he believes in and will fight for.

 

I tend to save most of his struggles as a dark knight between select players who I feel will add to that level of who he is but to the rest of the world I play him as homeless man who use to be a soldier. For me it is the best way to blend his simple persona with the darker and more edgy details of his profession. I often think of him as the homeless vet who you know has psychological issues and demons, but there is little that can be done about it. Again, not as a sympathy ploy, but as an accurate description of the character I enjoy playing.

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Oh, I have a laundry list. :(

  • Power level: Is L'yhta too powerful? Not powerful enough? Do I put too many restrictions on what she can do or is she too powerful and too skilled to the point where she's "solving everyone's problems" despite my efforts to keep her as a supporting character? Does talking about her adventuring life come off as bragging about being So Great And Awesome?
  • Lore compatibility: Does my character concept feel like a reasonable extrapolation from lore when it's in the grey areas, or does it instead come off as giving lore a giant middle finger?
  • Being annoying: L'yhta's usually fairly upbeat and chatty, but do people enjoy that or does it annoy the hell out of them?
  • Stealing the spotlight: I've got a chatty character, but does her talking with people and striking up conversations seem more like me trying to be the center of attention?
  • Plot paranoia: Are the plots I run, including IC dungeons, fun? Or do they just come off as self-serving (or boring and irrelevant because there's no direct tie back to my character)?
  • OOC fears: Do people actively avoid RPing with me because of my connections with the RPC? Because of the opinions I've posted here? Because of assumptions related to who I may or may not actually know and interact with regularly? Because I avoid Tumblr?
  • Missing out: If I'm doing things not in game, am I missing out on RP and potentially screwing up others' stories by not being around to participate?

I could go on, honestly, but I tend to have a fair number of anxieties about RP. :cry: They come and go, depending on what's going on in and out of game.

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Sometimes I worry that people think the character is a joke. Then I remember that of course they do, and move along.

 

Most of my other anxieties are centered around my LS and have more to do with mechanical complexity and balancing the need to make things interesting with the need to accommodate new players, and so are of limited value here.

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  • 2 weeks later...

And this just recent one. After being challenged (and subsequently beaten down horribly in a close fight)

 

I'm wondering. Am I doing this right. Oh my god am I doing this right. I mean 90% of that fight was me pulling the post out of my ass since as much as I've seen flashy action sequences to Borne-esque fight sequences, putting them into words is another ball game for me.

 

And for the next few seconds I'm wondering. This other guy and the people watching are judging me, oh god what if they just want this done and over with so they can beat up the next guy.

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And this just recent one. After being challenged (and subsequently beaten down horribly in a close fight)

 

I'm wondering. Am I doing this right. Oh my god am I doing this right. I mean 90% of that fight was me pulling the post out of my ass since as much as I've seen flashy action sequences to Borne-esque fight sequences, putting them into words is another ball game for me.

 

And for the next few seconds I'm wondering. This other guy and the people watching are judging me, oh god what if they just want this done and over with so they can beat up the next guy.

 

Relax and enjoy your RP. Extraordinarily long post times aside, if someone is actually that impatient that they can't give you time or respect to do so then they're the tart, not you IMHO.

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And this just recent one. After being challenged (and subsequently beaten down horribly in a close fight)

 

I'm wondering. Am I doing this right. Oh my god am I doing this right. I mean 90% of that fight was me pulling the post out of my ass since as much as I've seen flashy action sequences to Borne-esque fight sequences, putting them into words is another ball game for me.

 

And for the next few seconds I'm wondering. This other guy and the people watching are judging me, oh god what if they just want this done and over with so they can beat up the next guy.

 

Relax and enjoy your RP. Extraordinarily long post times aside, if someone is actually that impatient that they can't give you time or respect to do so then they're the tart, not you IMHO.

 

Nah they weren't impatient, that was probably just the anxiety talking to me. Still though being able to put action sequences to words would be a nice thing to have but oh well xD

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