Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater

[Kibu]

Something you might try is to send an ooc /tell or another method of contact to the person/people you're RPing with and tell them that you might vanish at any given time. 

 

Trust me, I've tried this. Some people still get very angry at me and get pissed off..

Most people are fine about it, but there are still a few people that act like complete derps about it..

 

Wow, that's horrible D: I'm so sorry you've run into that! If it's any consolation at all, that tells me it's not you... it's other people being incredibly rude. If you've warned them in advance I can understand them being a little upset (because it sucks to be cut off in the middle of a scene) but holy cats - it happens, you move on, and obviously they were having fun so why would they take it out on their RP partner?? Ugh! Sorry. That's just rude. You deserve so much better than that.

 

Sending you all the love :love:

[Ehzo'ir Tyaka]

I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

[Kibu]

I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

 

What happens when two shy people offer up their contact info to each other?

 

...absolutely nothing! Neither one has the nerves to approach the other! 

 

I feel you on this one, Selarian. And I don't take it as an offense when people don't contact me in-game. I figure it's either a matter where we aren't online at the same time, or that the other person is fighting just as much anxiety as I am. The one time I sent a message to someone else in-game, even after they gave me express permission on here, I nearly had a full-blown panic attack. I'm prone to looking people up in the player search, then sitting there for a good half hour or so trying to make myself send a /tell but just can't do it.

 

The intent is there. The follow-through is... difficult...

[Tara]

I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

 

What happens when two shy people offer up their contact info to each other?

 

...absolutely nothing! Neither one has the nerves to approach the other! 

 

I feel you on this one, Selarian. And I don't take it as an offense when people don't contact me in-game. I figure it's either a matter where we aren't online at the same time, or that the other person is fighting just as much anxiety as I am. The one time I sent a message to someone else in-game, even after they gave me express permission on here, I nearly had a full-blown panic attack. I'm prone to looking people up in the player search, then sitting there for a good half hour or so trying to make myself send a /tell but just can't do it.

 

The intent is there. The follow-through is... difficult...

This....just....yes. Or your hands are shaking so badly you hit the submit button and then spend three minutes having a freak out.

[Yune]

I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

 

I've felt this anxiety on many occasions as well. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily shy, but I'm a rather quiet and reserved individual who hasn't had much experience with reaching out to others or being the instigator of new friendships. This is part of the reason my FFXIV experience thus far has been about 80-90% solo play and no RP.

 

It's been coupled with my current insecurity about rejoining the community after my long break as I don't really know anyone and have no close friends who may help. I'm an unknown with no reputation (that I know of) so my hesitation in putting myself out there often spawns from that nagging thought of "why would anyone be interested in someone like me with no track record?" But as I don't know effective ways to really get out there in the mix, I have that fear that I'll just be stuck in limbo forever.

 

It also doesn't help my confidence when I do manage to meet people who actively seek me out at first, yet inevitably show me that they have no interest in me or my characters and would rather talk about themself and their own ideas all day while promptly changing the subject when I try to mention anything from my own side. I can understand being proud of one's creation or ideas, but from the perspective of the one who gets silenced repeatedly because of this pride, it flares up the crippling thought that perhaps I have simply nothing to offer anyone. I know that such things are entirely dependent on the types of people I come across, as not everyone is so self-centered, but my luck thus far hasn't helped me at all.

[Kawaiimalz]

I feel my biggest insecurity is interacting with people I do not know well outside the game. Finding new people is hard, and I tend to oversell myself oocly when trying to lock people in for repeat RP or when I fear basic stuff I do scares people off I'll overcompensate and try to tell them I'm normal I swear. Outside of my FC, I really don't know how to find a lot of RP, and I'm always so afraid to do walk-ups. I try to hug to events but finding ones I can attend, and then being a stranger to everyone there...

[Koro Dotharl]

I am really insecure about reaching out to RP with new people. Even when they have told me that it is ok, or (like Kibu above here) have told me actively in PMs to seek them out, I freeze up. I sometimes wish that I had the courage to go into some of the major RP hubs and start RPing in there, but I have the feeling that I never will.

 

I've felt this anxiety on many occasions as well. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily shy, but I'm a rather quiet and reserved individual who hasn't had much experience with reaching out to others or being the instigator of new friendships. This is part of the reason my FFXIV experience thus far has been about 80-90% solo play and no RP.

 

It's been coupled with my current insecurity about rejoining the community after my long break as I don't really know anyone and have no close friends who may help. I'm an unknown with no reputation (that I know of) so my hesitation in putting myself out there often spawns from that nagging thought of "why would anyone be interested in someone like me with no track record?" But as I don't know effective ways to really get out there in the mix, I have that fear that I'll just be stuck in limbo forever.

 

It also doesn't help my confidence when I do manage to meet people who actively seek me out at first, yet inevitably show me that they have no interest in me or my characters and would rather talk about themself and their own ideas all day while promptly changing the subject when I try to mention anything from my own side. I can understand being proud of one's creation or ideas, but from the perspective of the one who gets silenced repeatedly because of this pride, it flares up the crippling thought that perhaps I have simply nothing to offer anyone. I know that such things are entirely dependent on the types of people I come across, as not everyone is so self-centered, but my luck thus far hasn't helped me at all.

 

This is so much me. Even before leaving I was pretty much unknown by the community and now that I'm back I'm close to invisible and I am uncomfortable when close to someone popular that monopolize the scene (willingly or not). It doesn't help that I have major social anxieties about sending /tells to anyone and approaching new people usually require a monumental effort from me.

 

That's why I don't seek out long-term partners out in the public. It drains me too much to send those /tells and organize things. I'll still do it if I "must" but it burns me out. I'd rather do something more spontaneous like walk-ups and in-FC RP.

 

You are not alone!

[Kilieit]

I had a legit nightmare last night - wherein I posted in the Making Connections forum for my character Confiance, but all I got was 11 pages of people telling me his backstory was bad and I should feel bad.

 

I just... subconscious, what?

[ExAtomos]

I'm very ill in real life and often I have to poof without warning to take care of my health; sometimes I'm able to come back to FFXIV, sometimes I can't..

I'm always scared that someone's going to flip out/ cuss/ scream at me due to such things; and also due to having to poof, I'm often too terribly frightened of being screamed at,  that I stay off for the rest of the day TnT

 

Oh hey, I was just coming to post about how being chronically ill really affects my availability (or whether I can function much while in game). While I've not had RP partners bitch at me, irl "friends" have indeed ditched over me being sick so much. I got the game to help pass the time and sometimes I'm just not up for much more than staring blankly at the screen (other times, I'm okay for RP but not much else and everyone else is busy ; u ; ).

 

If you tell your RP partner that you have to go right then due to health reasons, I would hope (and expect) they'd understand. If you just go afk for a long time without saying anything, then they do have a good reason for being annoyed. Even a quick "afk, sick" will do. Make a macro if you have to.

[The Black Prince]

One of the biggest things I have trouble with is random pub RP. My character is by no means shy and is often in pubs, but when it actually comes to me walking up I always have this short moment of "What do I say." I always end up deciding "Hey how ya coin" wouldn't be enough to keep the RP going in a steady pace, and just forget it all together.

[Unrealname]

One of the biggest things I have trouble with is random pub RP. My character is by no means shy and is often in pubs, but when it actually comes to me walking up I always have this short moment of "What do I say." I always end up deciding "Hey how ya coin" wouldn't be enough to keep the RP going in a steady pace, and just forget it all together.

 

You know, this isn't exactly a bad approach. If your character is as garrulous as you say he is, butting in or just starting up a conversation with a simple "What's new stranger?" can lead to a lot of interesting and unique conversations. 

 

Now I'm not saying go ahead and go up and just rudely but in, but like if people are having a casual conversation and you feel you have the perfect opportunity to insert yourself and add to the conversation go for it. It'd even be appreciated if a more silent like character is lounging about, you could be the helping hand to thrust them into action without them having to wait for their own opportunity. Needless to say, it does take a lot of trial and error. But as long as you're a good sport, it'll be smiles all around.

---

For me, one of my biggest issues is trying to explain or show off a character during a roleplay. One of the hardest parts about playing out a scene in game is all the little subtle details you can include on a forum post are near impossible for me to implement in game, and while it feels a lot more natural I have a harder time making note of my characters unique flaws or features.

 

Like, I really enjoy playing out a physical disability that would drastically change how my character would react to another. Blindness is by far my favorite in this regard but I'd feel like a clown if that was one of the first things I point out. But I'm also afraid if I'm too subtle, the feature gets all blurred and they don't pick up on it. It's hard to balance the two, especially with random pub encounters.

[Kilieit]

For me, one of my biggest issues is trying to explain or show off a character during a roleplay. One of the hardest parts about playing out a scene in game is all the little subtle details you can include on a forum post are near impossible for me to implement in game, and while it feels a lot more natural I have a harder time making note of my characters unique flaws or features.

 

Like, I really enjoy playing out a physical disability that would drastically change how my character would react to another. Blindness is by far my favorite in this regard but I'd feel like a clown if that was one of the first things I point out. But I'm also afraid if I'm too subtle, the feature gets all blurred and they don't pick up on it. It's hard to balance the two, especially with random pub encounters.

 

I actually have this problem too, with a really simple issue: my character's height.

 

In RP, he's 5'9''. But the shortest his preset can be in-game is 6'6'', so his in-game model is 6'6''. This means he's about a head shorter than his own in-game model.

 

This is a relatively small detail... until you have people emoting flavour that they're "looking up at the tall Au Ra" or "craning to see him" and so forth, when actually he'd be about the same height as them. Suddenly I'm having to backtrack and whisper them OOC to correct them.

 

There's such a variety of heights in-game, so I can't just emote him as "the short au ra" off the bat, either. On the grand scale of things, he's still pretty tall! He's taller than most midlander hyur. He's taller than the huge majority of miqo'te, and taller than every lalafell. He's still taller than the huge majority of auri women, too. He's just... shorter than his in-game model looks. It's a lot harder in in-game RP to just slip in details about his relative height compared to the scenery than it is in longform RP - especially when we already have a visual (his in-game model) that's contrary to what I'm emoting, leading to confusion.

 

It feels awkward as hell to whisper people up front before the RP even really begins like "yo btw my character is a head shorter than he appears in-game" because while it is one of the first things their character would likely register about mine... by whispering like that, it feels like I'm placing it higher up the OOC hierarchy of facts than it should be.

 

It's not something I necessarily need to "warn" people about before they talk to him. Like, if my character was an aggressive murderer, I might warn people OOC so they don't accidentally initiate a darker-themed RP than they expected by talking to him. His height isn't like that - it doesn't impact the type of RP I do on him; it's just a minor detail, story-wise, that happens to be visually obvious to other characters in a way it isn't to their players.

 

It feels like by telling people before it's relevant, I'm shoving it in their face unnecessarily and making it out to be a bigger deal than it is; but by leaving it until they already made a mistake, it feels like I'm being obnoxious and contrary...

[Knislinge]

For me, one of my biggest issues is trying to explain or show off a character during a roleplay. One of the hardest parts about playing out a scene in game is all the little subtle details you can include on a forum post are near impossible for me to implement in game, and while it feels a lot more natural I have a harder time making note of my characters unique flaws or features.

 

Like, I really enjoy playing out a physical disability that would drastically change how my character would react to another. Blindness is by far my favorite in this regard but I'd feel like a clown if that was one of the first things I point out. But I'm also afraid if I'm too subtle, the feature gets all blurred and they don't pick up on it. It's hard to balance the two, especially with random pub encounters.

 

I actually have this problem too, with a really simple issue: my character's height.

 

In RP, he's 5'9''. But the shortest his preset can be in-game is 6'6'', so his in-game model is 6'6''. This means he's about a head shorter than his own in-game model.

 

This is a relatively small detail... until you have people emoting flavour that they're "looking up at the tall Au Ra" or "craning to see him" and so forth, when actually he'd be about the same height as them. Suddenly I'm having to backtrack and whisper them OOC to correct them.

 

There's such a variety of heights in-game, so I can't just emote him as "the short au ra" off the bat, either. On the grand scale of things, he's still pretty tall! He's taller than most midlander hyur. He's taller than the huge majority of miqo'te, and taller than every lalafell. He's still taller than the huge majority of auri women, too. He's just... shorter than his in-game model looks. It's a lot harder in in-game RP to just slip in details about his relative height compared to the scenery than it is in longform RP - especially when we already have a visual (his in-game model) that's contrary to what I'm emoting, leading to confusion.

 

It feels awkward as hell to whisper people up front before the RP even really begins like "yo btw my character is a head shorter than he appears in-game" because while it is one of the first things their character would likely register about mine... by whispering like that, it feels like I'm placing it higher up the OOC hierarchy of facts than it should be.

 

It's not something I necessarily need to "warn" people about before they talk to him. Like, if my character was an aggressive murderer, I might warn people OOC so they don't accidentally initiate a darker-themed RP than they expected by talking to him. His height isn't like that - it doesn't impact the type of RP I do on him; it's just a minor detail, story-wise, that happens to be visually obvious to other characters in a way it isn't to their players.

 

It feels like by telling people before it's relevant, I'm shoving it in their face unnecessarily and making it out to be a bigger deal than it is; but by leaving it until they already made a mistake, it feels like I'm being obnoxious and contrary...

 

 

I'd suggest simply having fun writing weird description-emotes? Like, "the remarkably average-height Au Ra says the thing", or just "the Miqo'te doesn't have to look far, as the two are almost the same height". You get to come up with weird ways of describing his height, and it draws attention to it as well. So people might catch on easier, both IC and OOC?

[Virella]

I wish we had RP addons like WoW had where we could throw descriptions into. So we didn't have to deal with that stuff. Unless people refused to read folk's descriptions, but that is their issue.

 

Ave would be riddled with scars and tattoos if that was the case. I'm just too lazy to emote it out constantly, so I decided against it.

[Kilieit]

I wish we had RP addons like WoW had where we could throw descriptions into. So we didn't have to deal with that stuff. Unless people refused to read folk's descriptions, but that is their issue.

 

Ave would be riddled with scars and tattoos if that was the case. I'm just too lazy to emote it out constantly, so I decided against it.

For real... search info is only really long enough for the absolute vitals, and even then people don't always look at it. Bring on addon legality.

[Caspar]

For me, one of my biggest issues is trying to explain or show off a character during a roleplay. One of the hardest parts about playing out a scene in game is all the little subtle details you can include on a forum post are near impossible for me to implement in game, and while it feels a lot more natural I have a harder time making note of my characters unique flaws or features.

 

Like, I really enjoy playing out a physical disability that would drastically change how my character would react to another. Blindness is by far my favorite in this regard but I'd feel like a clown if that was one of the first things I point out. But I'm also afraid if I'm too subtle, the feature gets all blurred and they don't pick up on it. It's hard to balance the two, especially with random pub encounters.

 

I actually have this problem too, with a really simple issue: my character's height.

 

In RP, he's 5'9''. But the shortest his preset can be in-game is 6'6'', so his in-game model is 6'6''. This means he's about a head shorter than his own in-game model.

 

This is a relatively small detail... until you have people emoting flavour that they're "looking up at the tall Au Ra" or "craning to see him" and so forth, when actually he'd be about the same height as them. Suddenly I'm having to backtrack and whisper them OOC to correct them.

 

There's such a variety of heights in-game, so I can't just emote him as "the short au ra" off the bat, either. On the grand scale of things, he's still pretty tall! He's taller than most midlander hyur. He's taller than the huge majority of miqo'te, and taller than every lalafell. He's still taller than the huge majority of auri women, too. He's just... shorter than his in-game model looks. It's a lot harder in in-game RP to just slip in details about his relative height compared to the scenery than it is in longform RP - especially when we already have a visual (his in-game model) that's contrary to what I'm emoting, leading to confusion.

 

It feels awkward as hell to whisper people up front before the RP even really begins like "yo btw my character is a head shorter than he appears in-game" because while it is one of the first things their character would likely register about mine... by whispering like that, it feels like I'm placing it higher up the OOC hierarchy of facts than it should be.

 

It's not something I necessarily need to "warn" people about before they talk to him. Like, if my character was an aggressive murderer, I might warn people OOC so they don't accidentally initiate a darker-themed RP than they expected by talking to him. His height isn't like that - it doesn't impact the type of RP I do on him; it's just a minor detail, story-wise, that happens to be visually obvious to other characters in a way it isn't to their players.

 

It feels like by telling people before it's relevant, I'm shoving it in their face unnecessarily and making it out to be a bigger deal than it is; but by leaving it until they already made a mistake, it feels like I'm being obnoxious and contrary...

 

 

I'd suggest simply having fun writing weird description-emotes? Like, "the remarkably average-height Au Ra says the thing", or just "the Miqo'te doesn't have to look far, as the two are almost the same height". You get to come up with weird ways of describing his height, and it draws attention to it as well. So people might catch on easier, both IC and OOC?

This is what I do. As my character needs to be unusually tall to visually gel with some of my descriptive RP, I must bring this up every once in a while by showing Virara doesn't have to crane her neck to stare rudely directly into people's faces, or show that she cannot fit in some spaces other Lalafell could hide in. There have been periods of time where it was in my search info too.

 

I mean she's not giant in the literal sense yet, but she can easily be spotted among her own kind and is on average almost a head taller, which negatively affects her social interaction.

[Jana]

Jana's character model captures her height and such well, but I often have to type out details like her baggy eyes and tones muscles because SE won't let me make an invite or muscular miqo'te. In those cases I usually throw out the descriptions as they become relevant, like if she just made eye contact or if she's threatening someone.

[111]

Jana's character model captures her height and such well, but I often have to type out details like her baggy eyes and tones muscles because SE won't let me make an invite or muscular miqo'te. In those cases I usually throw out the descriptions as they become relevant, like if she just made eye contact or if she's threatening someone.

 

The biggest problem I have (and this is no joke), is that people think Evangeline has the dude elezen model OOCly. 

 

This happens like 25% of the time at least. I think it's just because elezen have some of the least sexual dimophism? I even get tells sometimes asking why a male character has a feminine name. It's wierd.

 

As for other things, I sometimes have the opposite problems with miqo'te. Quite a few characters use female models to play as Tia's, and I usually don't put two and two together. Usually to the annoyance of the other player when I call their char a girl (because I see bewbs).

[Jana]

0 bust is weird on miqo'te girls cuz even if some outfits look flat, there's still a bounce on some animations so it just ends up being really jarring. I'd imagine the same is true of the other non-lala races. I don't envy those who try using a female model for a feminine guy.

[Kilieit]

I don't envy those who try using a female model for a feminine guy.

 

I considered doing this for Aghurlal - his horns would've been more accurate, too - but his height still would've been way out (just in the other direction), and I would've been having to constantly correct people on his gender. Didn't seem like fun to me (get that trouble enough IRL), so I opted for overly-tall dude preset instead.

 

At least the au ra male preset has hella hips. That much is accurate for him.

[Caspar]

I don't envy those who try using a female model for a feminine guy.

 

I considered doing this for Aghurlal - his horns would've been more accurate, too - but his height still would've been way out (just in the other direction), and I would've been having to constantly correct people on his gender. Didn't seem like fun to me (get that trouble enough IRL), so I opted for overly-tall dude preset instead.

 

At least the au ra male preset has hella hips. That much is accurate for him.

I was saddened by the dimorphism in that I couldn't make a slim, feminine-looking Au Ra male. I had some cool ideas for such a character, but I'm also beginning to think such an Au Ra isn't physically possible...

[Kilieit]

I was saddened by the dimorphism in that I couldn't make a slim, feminine-looking Au Ra male. I had some cool ideas for such a character, but I'm also beginning to think such an Au Ra isn't physically possible...

 

As far as lore is concerned, I think anything's physically possible, within reasonable bounds of human-like divergence. I think the model presets are designed just to show the most common builds and features for an adventurer of the race in question. Doesn't mean they're the only ones. I mean, just with the Au Ra for example, we know it's possible for them to gain presumably quite a bit of weight in fat - but the in-game models aren't like this because chances are most adventurers are going to be relatively slim.

 

...but as far as representing in-game goes, yeah... we're pretty limited. In terms of the attitude conveyed by cposes and emotes, as well, it's a pretty specific "feel" from each race/gender preset combination... I'm lucky the au ra male emotes suit Aghurlal pretty well, on the whole. There are some emotes on some characters that I've practically blacklisted myself from using because they feel so OOC for the character.

[Faith Sauveterre]

I have a few issues the main ones being

 

1. Mostly just being afraid to approach. You are all terrifying. OH GOD DON'T TOUCH ME..lol, but yeah. The typical anxiety that some peeps have about approaching.

 

2. I usually like to plan out RPs before attempting because I don't do well with Random Walk ups. Most of the time I don't know where to go with it and it fizzles out into nothing.

 

3. Kind of feel like my characters are a bit incomplete. Like there is something more I could add to them making them more interesting

 

I pretty much don't bother trying because of this which kind of sucks cause I see people talk about cool events that happen with their characters.

[111]

I have a few issues the main ones being

 

1. Mostly just being afraid to approach. You are all terrifying. OH GOD DON'T TOUCH ME..lol, but yeah. The typical anxiety that some peeps have about approaching.

 

2. I usually like to plan out RPs before attempting because I don't do well with Random Walk ups. Most of the time I don't know where to go with it and it fizzles out into nothing.

 

3. Kind of feel like my characters are a bit incomplete. Like there is something more I could add to them making them more interesting

 

I pretty much don't bother trying because of this which kind of sucks cause I see people talk about cool events that happen with their characters.

 

I treat walkup RP like talking to the person next to you on the bus. It doesn't really matter if it goes anywhere special, you're just passing the time and learning about someone. Eventually you'll find a deeper thread in there with someone. Most of your encounters will probably lead to nothing and that's ok.

 

As for #3,  the biggest thing for struggling RPers is to think of a reason your character might approach a stranger. It doesn't have to be just one thing, but pick one and just walk up to someone that seems interesting. For example, my current Main is a Thaumaturge that has a monthly quota of graves and wills to sign people up for. She constantly has to approach people and sell them things.

 

Even something as simple as "I'm looking for directions" or "I lost something" work.

[Esther Iteya]

I have a few issues the main ones being

 

1. Mostly just being afraid to approach. You are all terrifying. OH GOD DON'T TOUCH ME..lol, but yeah. The typical anxiety that some peeps have about approaching.

 

2. I usually like to plan out RPs before attempting because I don't do well with Random Walk ups. Most of the time I don't know where to go with it and it fizzles out into nothing.

 

3. Kind of feel like my characters are a bit incomplete. Like there is something more I could add to them making them more interesting

 

I pretty much don't bother trying because of this which kind of sucks cause I see people talk about cool events that happen with their characters.

 

I'm adjusting to this as well, so you're not alone in this regard. I think many people feel this way.

 

My main concern is like many others here, the perception of a character. Especially in such a larger group where you can easily be just another face in a crowd. I like blank slates. I take a very general trope, characterization, or concept, and I see how far it can be pushed when set against 'the world." It's been extremely successful for me in the past and I enjoy making characters more than once to see how other RPer's 'change' them. 

 

The upside to this is my character feels alive. Every conversation my character has had in game has influenced her. It is very much so in the hands of the people I interact with, and in my experience it creates a character that feels like a team effort.

 

The downside is I need to start with a quickly recognizable set of characteristics that immediately gives the other player the tools they need to be included. This makes the character intentionally flat on creation. Flat characters are boring. I could understand someone taking a first glance at Esther and thinking she's a stereotype with little else to offer because in some ways she is, at least until the player get's into what parts they can mold.