Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater

[Faye]

Is "I suck at everything" a valid answer? I worry lately that my writing is stale. I have to do so much "business" RP with leading meetings, hosting events, and sorting out FC members' IC problems, and it's hard to get inspired to be very detailed or dynamic for that sort of RP. Then, when I finally get to some personal, "fun" RP, I'm so tired and burnt out that I still can't muster the inspiration to write anything worthwhile.

 

I also worry about IC being taken OOC. I see it happen a lot. Faye's not the nicest of people, and she also ocassionally has to punish or reprimand people in the FC, or make decisions that not everyone agrees with. I've seen people flip out OOC over the pettiest, IC shit. Another thing I fret about is how much to reveal. Faye's not honest or forthcoming about a lot of things, but I also don't want to make it seem like I'm trying to deceive players OOC. How much should I write in her journal? Should I hint or even outright state when she's lying or hiding something? I worry about people metagaming, and perhaps with good reason, because I've seen it happen too many times.

[Stormwind]

I'm a social angst to the nth degree just as a matter of being, and then you slather on top of that an anti-social grump of a character like Stormwind and I'm left with no idea how to approach people. On top of that, I've completely lost everything resembling a plot because I've been so burned out from work the last six months, I've had no drive to do anything creative. Every time I feel like I want to get back into it, I find myself agonizing over how to start and if it's even worth the effort given my professional life at the moment.

 

At the end of the day, I'm so scared out of my head about my RP versus others RP and being rejected because of it, I end up doing nothing. I leaned on Dogberry so hard because of my own anxieties. What few people I have formed RP friendships with, I did through him and thinking about that depresses the hell out of me. I've got a great personal story for Storm all lined up for if/when I ever get back to it but I'm to damn scared to pull the trigger.

 

tl;dr- Social anxiety plus anti-social character divided by lack of time equals one massive emotional and creative mess.

[MBajihri]

I'm personally afraid of seeming like I type too little. I get insane writer's block sometimes but enjoy RP'ing, so a lot of my posts are 2-3 lines. I don't want to be seen as 'putting in too little effort'. Also, I'm really bad at paying attention to more than two people at a time. I'm working on it, but I always feel bad if I have to delay responding to someone or somesuch. Definitely wouldn't mind help on either of these.

[Warren Castille]

It was touched on earlier, but I am deathly afraid that friends of mine will be consumed by the ever-crunching machinery of hosting a large-scale event. I'm happy to slim down my own roleplay for the sake of trying to present a scene for others to get theirs in, but I can't make that decision for everybody and I'm constantly worried about people feeling like they're supposed to help instead of people choosing to help. It causes me no small amount of angst, as many, many people can confirm.

[Teadrinker]

It was touched on earlier, but I am deathly afraid that friends of mine will be consumed by the ever-crunching machinery of hosting a large-scale event. I'm happy to slim down my own roleplay for the sake of trying to present a scene for others to get theirs in, but I can't make that decision for everybody and I'm constantly worried about people feeling like they're supposed to help instead of people choosing to help. It causes me no small amount of angst, as many, many people can confirm.

 

If no one's told you (doubtful) then allow me to echo that you've created something pretty damn awesome.

 

That being said, yeah I can really only imagine the stress it could cause. If I were you I think my greatest concern would be it devouring Warren as a character.

[Parth Makeo]

Oh i just picked up something else I have some insecurity about...

 

RPing and Building villains!

 

In the past i have been on both sides. I've played villain characters in RP before and was usually told how great they were. Either they had a great reason to be a villain or just how irredeemable they are yet still loveable (I remember this one character I had that was the Majordomo to a dark lord and when he shows up, straight up kills her without any remorse. Everyone cheered she died but then were like 'Oh right...main bad guy.')

 

But in terms of FF14, this is a world where in lore, the villains are either "EMREGERD PRIMALS" or "EMEGERD CERRUPTION!" or "EMEGERD VERD!" (aka: Primals, Corruption and Void)

 

and i'll admit the villains i have in place fall under one or all of these. Many people I know from past RP experiences in Forums usually have this irk about a villain being either TOO much like lore or TOO lore breaking. there is no real fine line in my eyes. I feel as if my villains in this RP event will either not live up to expectations or worse would ruin the game for people if I say use what is considered plot relevant in this realm for villainy.

 

"Then don't make a villain who is apart of "

 

I have...and they were so bland and boring i had to get rid of them super fast. The past villains i had were nothing but cannon fodder for the bigger picture for my friends...Whom recently stopped RPing a lot for some reason

 

"You should of done this earlier"

I could but then waste character building and actual story progression. It can't be done in a week...

 

And you pretty much get what kind of pressure i am feeling at this time. I like writing both sides. Especially villains...but when it comes to an MMO scape it changes how i approach the whole thing. I've met a few people on other toons and dropped some hints and what not for the event in case they wish to come and see. I know not everyone will be pleased but i'd rather not piss the whole server off or come off as someone who is a bad RPer.

 

In short: I feel as if the near year long villain thing i had planned and slowly hinted at over the last few months will not be met with open arms when it finally comes and as such be shunned for said RP from Everyone...

[Ha'uruh Nunh]

I've lost most of my RP partners. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.

[111]

I've lost most of my RP partners. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.

Well.

 

Did you murder them irl?

 

I go crazy a lot and push people away, I can't rely deny that. I just try to do the best I can with my mental baggage. It'd not so much a fear as something I know I do. Maybe someday I'll get my shit together.

[Ha'uruh Nunh]

I've lost most of my RP partners. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.

Well.

 

Did you murder them irl?

 

I go crazy a lot and push people away, I can't rely deny that. I just try to do the best I can with my mental baggage. It'd not so much a fear as something I know I do. Maybe someday I'll get my shit together.

 

No. Hence the insecurity.

 

Was it my character? Was it my OOC personality? Was it the RP? Past RP, or where it was going?

 

That I'll never know doesn't help. And even my friends are calling me a worrywart and the like, which makes me worry more that I'm driving them off, too. When will the next shoe drop?

[Pascaleret]

My characters are all prejudiced towards other races for some reason or another. They're not hostile to anyone, but I still worry offhand remarks will offend people OOC.

I worry that one of my characters being a habitual liar will cause offense, too. I've seen people get angry OOC just because a character was lying to another character about something.

[Aya]

I've lost most of my RP partners. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.

Losing RP partners and friends is life .  It really cannot be avoided.  What really makes the difference is meeting new people and making new friends to keep things going.

[Arcian]

I just worry that my characters and I are boring, and that my writing isn't descriptive or engaging enough.

 

Between that and being nervous about approaching folks in case I am boring, I'm kind of shooting myself in the foot.

[Lydia Lightfoot]

I've lost most of my RP partners. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.

 

Doubtful. It's more likely that they just got burned out on the game, or, some other game or character simply was more engaging to them, annnnnnd... they couldn't just be honest about that. So here you are, left to wonder. Same "family of insecurity" as I get.

[Teadrinker]

I've lost most of my RP partners. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.

Well.

 

Did you murder them irl?

 

I go crazy a lot and push people away, I can't rely deny that. I just try to do the best I can with my mental baggage. It'd not so much a fear as something I know I do. Maybe someday I'll get my shit together.

 

No. Hence the insecurity.

 

Was it my character? Was it my OOC personality? Was it the RP? Past RP, or where it was going?

 

That I'll never know doesn't help. And even my friends are calling me a worrywart and the like, which makes me worry more that I'm driving them off, too. When will the next shoe drop?

 

 

 

I feel like this happens to everyone at some point. Lemmie know if you wanna RP ever at all!

 

I just worry that my characters and I are boring, and that my writing isn't descriptive or engaging enough.

 

Between that and being nervous about approaching folks in case I am boring, I'm kind of shooting myself in the foot.

 

I think maybe some players and character combinations just click better than others. It's possible to get on a roll or string of people that don't quite seem to mesh.

 

I'm bad at this too, really. Sometimes I think I'm massively doing something wrong when I have a night/week of a character not being received well.

[Steel Wolf]

I feel like I'm poison to guilds/FC's. I love the folks I get with but something about the experience falls short and so I agonize over the thing, and then leave and then never hear back from former guildlings. Which makes me think I'm a giant stinky jerkface.

 

And so I get gunshy about joining. But then try again. Amd it happens again.

 

Am I crazy or just...?

[Coda]

Sometimes I feel like a pushy tryhard about RPing with people and planning plots. Its reeeally hard to tell if people are actually into it without face to face cues to go off of, and it drives me crazy wondering.

Then on the flipside, sometimes I just want some alone time and don't want to talk to anyone, and I come off as moody or suddenly uninterested. Its just a break, I promise ><

[Melkire]

My insecurities regarding roleplay have less to do with myself and more to do with my writing. I am constantly worried that my character might be a nuisance given a tendency to bully his way into plots, dominate a scene or two by hogging some spotlight, and then derail the expected direction for said plot (which isn't even mine, so I have no right) by throwing spanners into the works, as it were.

 

I have at least one alt who is also somewhat overbearing. I like to think that the rest are most certainly "side characters" in that they have no potential for standing front and center... but when it comes to the characters I play most, I worry.

[Telluride]

Twelve help, but I could say a lot.

 

I worry that people think I'm aloof because I RP a bit with them, and then, hardly ever, if ever, encounter them again. It's not on purpose... Frankly, there are dozens and dozens of people I want to RP with again, but there's just not enough time in the day to get to all of them, keep up with the game progression, advance my too-many in-game projects and actually log out now and then... even if I had no job and never logged out, I fear I'd still never be able to get with everyone as much as I'd like or they deserve.

 

Others have mentioned worrying about partners; I'm still gripped by having had several of my characters from previous games stuck on shelves for weeks, months (many months in one case), when a partner either disappears or, worse, gets bored and wants to play other characters. That's fine, but don't tie me up so far into your old personal story that I can't get out of it without having to look like the guilty party when I try to play the characters I've worked on... so, I get a bit paranoid about that sort of lockdown happening, especially since, unlike some others, I do NOT want to abandon characters to whom this happens. Why should -I- ditch -my- toon? If you're gonna run off, have the courtesy to give me a way out. So.. yeah, I'm a bit oversensitive about the concern, and it sometimes bleeds over.

 

Also... well, my main in FFXIV occasionally pushes really, really hard on the 4th wall with his random songs. I enjoy it, and many also seem to do so, but I do worry that someone's immersion may suffer for my little lore-stretching indiscretions.

 

Amusingly, I'm opposite of many people in that I feel very comfortable in open and sudden RP, and have no problems with barreling into random RP encounters when the mood suits. However, I kinda wonder if I'm TOO direct with some folks in this way, but I guess taking that chance is just something I'll do.

[Star Lin]

 

No. Hence the insecurity.

 

Was it my character? Was it my OOC personality? Was it the RP? Past RP, or where it was going?

 

That I'll never know doesn't help. And even my friends are calling me a worrywart and the like, which makes me worry more that I'm driving them off, too. When will the next shoe drop?

That's it, I need to get John to grab you for some nice friendship RP chats.  We really don't get too enough.

 

But on topic, for John, I'm worry over having him say something that might make people see him in the wrong light.  I made him so...likeable, that even in times that he should lose his temper, I have him bury it just to keep people of ooc not liking me.  Shoot, John ended up working on one person just about the entire GS, with characters that new the person yelling at each other and I had him yell at them to be quiet.  The reset of the night, I then worried about them thinking that he had anger issue.

 

As for Kestlona...well, I'm not on her enough to have RP partners.  In fact, I kind of feel left off to the side in the FC she's in because of not being on her so much.  The one time I suggest that I was interested in doing RP in the FC chat...I didn't have any takers.  And I don't want anyone to think I just want my characters to be the center of attention.

[Ashe]

I get worried about how my IC decisions OOCly affect other people...

Like sometimes Ashe does weird things or gets into weird situation and I'm always scared to OOCly piss someone else off because of it.

 

I'm also scared to plot things with new people 'cause I'm worried if the idea is stupid...also scared to plot things with people I know...I'm afraid that I'm too....overbearing about ideas even when I try to step back from IC situations I get worried then that people think I am ignoring their characters.

 

Another insecurity would be that my insecurities to people I don't usually RP with come off as stand-offish in OOC or people think I am intentionally slighting them when it's really just me being unsure how to proceed or trying to be general in communication when my character is surrounded by 10 other people >.<

[Kellach Woods]

That people look at the various things that compose the character as being far too out there or outright special snowflake to warrant ever interacting with him.

 

I mean look at this.

- Effeminate looking Midlander with pink highlights with an inclination to showing hella skin.

- RP job doesn't exist in-game (Mime)

- Doesn't come from Eorzea or any of the known continents

- Has a part-time job as a postmoogle

 

And that's scratching the bullshit surface.

 

That people go out of their way to avoid my character when I can actually show up at events.

 

That most everyone'd rather stab their eyes out with a fork than deal with me OOC to set up anything.

[Parth Makeo]

- RP job doesn't exist in-game (Mime)

Mime as in the actual job mime or Mime as in actual street performing mime? Cause if first, then that is nifty!

[Edda]

My writing.

 

The blurry line between being so heavy-handed and obvious with Edda's TWUE FEEWINGS that people get annoyed with how trope-y it might seem, and being vague enough that people perceive her as a boring bitch and OOCly want nothing to do with me.

 

Also, those that I have put considerable time and effort into RP with, and yet Edda does not seem to exist to their characters outside of our own, personal RP. I am still uncertain as to how that works, so maybe it's normal. RP is very complicated. I actively avoid making Edda the center of attention, in any situation, ever, since there seems to be some huge stigma associated with that kind of behavior (intentional or otherwise!). But at what point does it become too much, and not enough when your RP is not treated as significant? LEL this probably makes no goddamn sense but whatever. Either way I am aware that my RP tends to be suck and am grateful to those that appreciate it, everyone is so great.

[S'imba]

I'm self conscious about whether S'imba is boring, annoying, or just a bad character in general. To the point I get surprised that people want to rp with me. 

 

I also get hyper paranoid that I've made him op. Especially since when I originally wrote him he was just supposed to be some dumb kid who tried to make a difference in a wold of powerful people and dangers, and despite his hardest efforts doesn't really have the power to make a difference. Well after doing that for a while has caused people to give him abilities. So after a lot of that it's left me worried if I've let it go too far to the point he's too special now.

[Nebbs]

I've lost most of my RP partners. I can't help but feel like it's my fault.

 

Or.. you have had the joy of RP partners, and found new ones. So there are likely more in your future. At least that is what I tell myself but that nagging insecurity is always there.  Still, there is always tomorrow.