My impression on fxiv and the rp community

[Telin Zulin]

So this isn't a bashing of the game at all I actually have quite enjoyed the gameplay aspect of it for my short time playing but after a short time I find myself thinking of cancelling my subscription to the game for one reason the community. Now don't get wrong I have found some really nice players while trying different classes and races out but from my experience and not to say everyone has this experience the community especially in the rp scene has been very bad for me. Let me explain I tried out a male miqo'te first fine enough but everywhere I looked there was miqo'te. Now nothing wrong with that they look cool so I decided to try something different. Went with a roegadyn which was pretty cool even took up tanking and was enjoying it but as far as people went all I would get is told I'm compensating for something or I would go to a rp hub to try and find a good rp and someone would try to pick a fight with him for absolutely no reason. So decided to reroll because I didn't have a Fantasia to a lalafell boy was that a mistake I couldn't even show screenshots of my character without getting some kind of grief just for wanting to play a race. I mean I've played other MMOs where the community was toxic but I have never seen one where the in game bias against a game race was just so disturbing. It honestly makes me want to go to a server where the rp is not big at all just so I don't have to deal with all that. However I have found myself once again feeling discouraged from playing my character and I know what some might say just ignore it. You would be right however when it's constant or can't even join a fc without some kind of grief it just makes me not to want to log in anymore. I don't know if I'm gonna wind up canceling my subscription or not but from my observation sadly this game is quickly becoming not for me if I can't even play a race without getting grief or harassed for it

[ExAtomos]

I am sincerely hoping some good Mateus folks will swoop in and help you out. It sounds like you encountered people who just want to grief others instead of actually rping. Find a good FC and LS, they will help a lot.

 

eta: I play a Hellsguard and a Plainsfolk Lalafell with few issues. While my Lala has struggled here and there with the wrong people trying to make him the butt of their jokes, I moved on to better crowds and no longer worry about that sort of thing. My Hellsguard has never had any issues (besides being hit on lol).

 

It may help too to make a character that you love and stick with it. Good rp will come your way. ^^

[RavieRaptor]

Yes OP! This is how I've been feeling too! I've been rping on Balmung since 2.0 and used to get lots of RP till the last few years (Around Heavensward). Now I get ignored or alienated for playing a straight miqo'te girl and a straight midlander hyur lady.

 

I've been stretching my neck out till practically ripping it off to try to find RP, it was like pulling teeth. No one was interested whatsoever. It's ridiculous and no one should judge us for our characters. 

 

I'm sorry for ranting, but this is why I've also been considering cancelling my sub. I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this!

[Koro Dotharl]

As far as this game is concerned I never hada good experience with random RP. Ever. I have the luck of beign in a good LS and an inclusive FC but outside of that it's been garbage. It's not just you having an hard time.

 

I've been told not to RP my character, harassed on the forum\tumblr etc by some very bad people. And out there it's mostly fetish characters that somehow decided to take time off the quicksand to give me some grief.

 

My advice is to find a small bubble of the community that accepts you andstick with them.

[Warren Castille]

Regarding "The community."

 

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with people judging you based on your race in-game. However, I think I speak for most level-headed roleplayers when I say this: Those assholes do not represent the overall community. Yes, I see the irony in these sentences.

 

Don't give up, that's the best advice I've got. It can be demoralizing to feel like an outcast from the get-go, but believe me on this... Random RP is exactly that: Random. Hit up some of the posted events and you'll eventually find some you click with. It's kind of like going to a bar on any given night, you know? There's not always a good crowd depending on when you swing by.

[Kieron Lohengrin]

Now I get ignored or alienated for playing a straight miqo'te girl and a straight midlander hyur lady.

 

Nothing wrong with either of those - though it might help to think of toons as people, rather than archetypes and categories. Meaning, the old improv question - instead of just preference/race/gender, what's their name, background, life experiences, goals? What are they pretty good at and what motivates them? What monsters have they fought or places have they traveled to in Hydaelyn? Do you keep track of every game/story experience you consider IC for them? And so on. These are the types of bog-standard questions I ask my players when they ask me to DM events or tabletop for them.

 

As for the rest, dumb aggro twats and weirdly bigoted cliques will always exist in any online environment. You're not required to acknowledge them or seek their validation, just block and move on. I don't blame anyone for seeking a positive JRPG-styled RP experience or relationship, but you're not going to find it by sitting in taverns and towns. Get out into the world, live a character, experience stuff IC with a few good folks. FC optional, though there are a couple of pretty good themed FCs / communities out there.

 

Worry less about getting the approval of strangers, and focus on material ingame goals that make you happy. That satisfaction tends to bleed over into character confidence and RP, I find.

[Lydia Lightfoot]

Yes OP! This is how I've been feeling too! I've been rping on Balmung since 2.0 and used to get lots of RP till the last few years (Around Heavensward). Now I get ignored or alienated for playing a straight miqo'te girl and a straight midlander hyur lady.

 

I've been stretching my neck out till practically ripping it off to try to find RP, it was like pulling teeth. No one was interested whatsoever. It's ridiculous and no one should judge us for our characters. 

 

I'm sorry for ranting, but this is why I've also been considering cancelling my sub. I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this!

 

I play a straight halfie mid/high hyur and I get lots of RP (and almost none of it is people trying to get in her pants). I'd say that's not a reason why you aren't getting RP. Maybe you're just getting bad luck and ending up finding players who aren't a good match for your interests? You're welcome to  come check out what my guild has going on, if you'd like.

[Telin Zulin]

I appreciate the positive feedback I been getting. I did wind up deciding to cancel my subscription. I get it that its not all of the community but honestly I was really put off when trying to find a good fc or linkshell that I was presented with nothing but judgement. I don't really have time to deal with that when I have other games sitting on my computer that I haven't touched where I don't have to deal with the nonsense. Anyway thanks for the fun FFXIV and all I'm off to do other things. ciao

[Valde]

Just going to throw this out there in case anyone reads this thread and takes it as the state of things, especially on Mateus, I want to point out that this is not a common thing. I'm sorry to hear that the OP was bugged to the point that they felt harassed but I can only wonder what sorts they were interacting with to get that response.

 

Mateus has a great community hub on Discord with many encouraging people, helpers, mentors, and knowledgeable lore individuals. It's also a great place to find RP events and new RP partners. 

 

If you're new to Final Fantasy 14 and have found these forums, or are just new to Mateus and are searching for a community hotspot to meet new people and make friends, or find an FC, please be sure to check us out.

 

Discord Invite Link:

https://discord.gg/uW4UF8H

[Asyria]

Unpopular Opinion: Maybe it's not the What you're playing, but the How you're playing it that is attracting the wrong kind of attention.

 

Personal Experience: I have never have or seen that kind of race-specific reaction. This is a strong case of YMMV, I guess.

 

Head-shaking Statement: He left anyway...

[S'imba]

Well it really sucks you had so much negativity, and I admit there's a good amount of toxic people out there, but they're are still usually in the minority. You're probably not likely to find much deep rp in the quicksand. It happens but it's not common. Events can help make connections. Best way to make meaningful connections I've found is just to be active on the forums here. Getting into a discord is always helpful. Having a way to advertise your character is good too cause it can give people hooks. 

 

As for the race problems. I can imagine Roe do get people wanting to fight them a lot cause people want to prove how tough their characters are. Simb'a tries fighting Xaela cause he wants to prove himself every bit as good as these so called ferocious warriors. 

 

Lalafell I know do get a bad rap and have a lot of struggles with a lot of negative stigma. Though I do love rping with them when they're done as a serious character cause they are just interesting to me. 

 

But yeah if you've unsubscribed this is probably moot, but if you ever do give it another shot just some things I've discovered.

[Caspar]

Yes OP! This is how I've been feeling too! I've been rping on Balmung since 2.0 and used to get lots of RP till the last few years (Around Heavensward). Now I get ignored or alienated for playing a straight miqo'te girl and a straight midlander hyur lady.

 

I've been stretching my neck out till practically ripping it off to try to find RP, it was like pulling teeth. No one was interested whatsoever. It's ridiculous and no one should judge us for our characters. 

 

I'm sorry for ranting, but this is why I've also been considering cancelling my sub. I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this!

I may be wrong, but I believe these aren't the same RP characters from 2.0, no? I think you've changed characters many times.

If you have been swapping characters a lot hoping to strike gold, it will become difficult to get others attached to them. Simply trying to RP what you think others will like, I feel, will inevitably become unsatisfying to you in this way. No one will have time to get to know or invest in your character, you won't become attached to them in return. This can even get costly if you're prone to buying Fantasia to reroll your RP character whenever you wonder why they don't attract RP. 

But I've discussed this on here before, and I think people looking for an excuse to leave the server, or even the game, will find one one way or another. It all depends on your will to continue, or maybe grow as a player/RPer.

 

But as for OP, I don't regret rolling Lalafell. It's kinda meaningless seeing as you already made your choice, but I never picked this race because I felt it would be easy to play, or popular. It fit the character concept I cared about, and I committed to it. Sometimes it gets lonely because few people have an interest in running a Lalafell, let alone one that's more than a gag character or an alt, but I recognize that not everyone is going to respect my concept, or my choice of character race. The amount of times I hear "I tend to not want RP with Lalafell, except yours" (And any number of variations I've heard: "they're too silly," "I like to broadbrush them as creeps and trolls," they're too unrealistic in this highly realistic fantasy setting.") is discouraging, but also flattering. You take the bad with the good. If I've made a good impression, and I've managed to entertain, ultimately I don't want anything else than that.

[Mermaid]

I understand the discrimination against OP's races. I don't agree with it but I understand it. "I'm sick of seeing Miqo'te." "Hyur are boring." "Lalafell are jokes." I'm sure we've all heard stuff like that. They're poor reasons but at least they're reasons

 

Yes OP! This is how I've been feeling too! I've been rping on Balmung since 2.0 and used to get lots of RP till the last few years (Around Heavensward). Now I get ignored or alienated for playing a straight miqo'te girl and a straight midlander hyur lady.

 

This what I don't understand. Why are your characters' sexual orientations so significant? I don't understand what the problem is unless you're specifically looking for romance? Now I've only RPed here a few times so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I have a cis, straight, monogamous, female Au Ra and I didn't even think to mention any of that in the information I have up on her. The few people who've RPed with me have never asked her sexual orientation nor have they tried to do any sort of romance or sex related RP. To be fair, I haven't gotten a lot of RP, heck, I haven't even had someone ask me to RP with them again. I'm 99% certain, however, that has to do with me not putting myself out there and has nothing to do with a detail that I've listed nowhere and nobody's even bothered to ask about.

[maoilmhin]

Wow, I'm a bit shocked.   My experience has been almost the polar opposite.   I guess I just got lucky?  Or maybe it is because I stay away from Drowning Wench and QuickSand.  That isn't to say my characters haven't run across an IC jackass here and there.   *shrug* that's IC tho.

[shotgunbadger]

For whatever it's worth the only 'issues' I've had as a Lala player is the occasional creepy PM and all. It really kinda sounds like the core issue here comes from feeling like you have some kinda requirement to change characters to fit a trend or something? I don't really understand that to be honest. I'm not surprised those characters aren't fun to play if you just made them because you think you need an x character that does y?

[Unnamed Mercenary]

Topics like this one are tricky, because it honestly boils down to personal experiences.

 

And what might work for some people does not mean it will work well for others. Especially when player personality, RP preferences, timezones, venues, etc are taken into play. There are just too many variables to give a complete image without focusing on a handful and dismissing the rest.

 

But at the same time, there are a LOT of people RPing in this game. Finding a match for a person or group of people may just not be immediate. Or may result in having to reach out a lot to see which people mesh best.

[Knight Kat]

Many have already stated that this is a situation where personal experiences differ. Mine certainly differ from the OP's. There are indeed a lot of variables.

 

That said, I have been in the community since January of 2014. I've watched it change, develop and change again. Maybe I can offer some general advice that might apply more broadly to those having a hard time.

 

The Quicksand, despite many efforts to change this, is still by far the most popular place for open-world RP. And with the community growing into more and more cliques, it can be very hard to find random RP to jump into if you avoid the quicksand.

 

It has an exaggerated bad reputation. You will find some people looking for weirdness in there, but most of those people have "hey, I'm looking for weirdness" in their search info. The fear of people looking for weird honestly amuses me. They can't give you a weirdness virus. I have personally had a ton of perfectly fine RP scenes with randoms and friends in the Quicksand. And when the occasional ERP creep comes along, they are ignored. Which is very rare when I have to do that (maybe twice in all my countless experiences). They got the hint that I didn't want what they wanted really fast.

 

 

 

Firstly, when your style is to actively approach others for walk-up RP, you are a brave soul, and should consider your chances of finding good RP a coin flip. This is not me discouraging people from approaching others. I am just saying there are cliques, plots and preferences held by other players which may cause them to be not so welcoming to walk-ups.

 

Read search info of characters because many players will specify "walk-ups welcome" or "please send tell for RP". Let that be your guide on who you approach, and how you approach. It will result in less rejection and grief.

 

Secondly, if you are more the type to prefer being approached, there are things you can do to encourage that. For example, putting key details about your character in your search info. Mine on Kiht says "Traditional Moon-Keeper. Hunter, Scout, Beastmaster. RP=IC".

 

Another thing to do is make idle RP posts that tell other RPers around you that you are currently willing and able to RP. Bigger posts are more likely to be seen, but also add to chat scroll which may cause players to skim them rather than read them. Good thing to keep in mind.

 

I often prefer being approached because when other players approach me for RP, it is far less likely that they are doing it just to grief me, much more likely they have interest in my character and a heavily reduced chance of rejection. And no, I am not talking about ERP interests, but that risk comes with the territory.

 

If you're afraid of one player having their character approach yours because they want their character to bang yours, you will find yourself very afraid of casual RP in general. This is one area in which I advise players to grow a thicker skin. There's the ability to say "no", the blacklist and doing things like putting "NO ERP" in your search info.

 

Thirdly, this site has the "welcome desk" and the "making connections" forum. Look through them. Players posting ads to make connections are not likely going to grief you for trying to RP with them; especially if you are looking for the same things they are.

 

Sending tells or PMs to reach out to people can be the hardest things to muster courage for, but I've done it a few times, and usually it pays off!

 

Lastly, for those that do this, stop changing your character's race and story to suit what you think players want. You will find -no- consensus on what the community as a whole thinks is awesome.

 

Seriously, it has been said before, and it is one thing that is not subjective: play what race and profession you love, and others will come to like them.

 

Be very patient, be bold and don't fixate on what the horrible minority do or say.

[kamikrazy]

Stand your ground, you should care less about the issues they fabricate than they do.

 

If they get snarky about your race, get snarky back. It's only as true as you make it. If someone tries to force you into a fight, tell them no OOCLy. If they try to force you further, then just god mode willy-nilly until they rage quit, and if they try to hold it against you point out that you didn't want to fight. Who care about the op ions of such people.

[Kakama Kama]

I'm sorry you had to suffer that side of the community. If you ever want to rp, however, I'm always up for it.

 

I have a small company focused on giving homes to those who need it, regardless of circumstances.

 

https://amberalyssumrp.enjin.com/

 

My character is an Ala Mhigan Monk, and loves to help people, and is always a friendly face: https://wiki.ffxiv-roleplayers.com/pages/Neneso_Neso

 

My discord is The Laladome#8597

 

All I ask is you give us a chance to show you how roleplay is meant to be. :thumbsup: Take care of yourself.

[Faye]

-snip-

I may be wrong, but I believe these aren't the same RP characters from 2.0, no? I think you've changed characters many times...

 

I think there's a lot more that goes into it than what race someone is or isn't playing. Nothing is that isolated, and there is a lot more that goes into how others will perceive you and treat you. Ravie is a good example as she has indeed changed characters and namechanged/fantasia'd several times. I can speak with the personal experience and say that it's tiring.

 

I can't always keep track of namechanges and remember who someone is. It can be annoying trying to figure out with each change whether a character's name/appearance has spontaneously changed for IC reasons that my character should react to, or if it's an OOC "pretend it was always that way" retcon that I need to ignore IC, or if they've rerolled a new RP character entirely and they are a strange to my character now. I hate having to ask for clarification every time and remember the details. It's disheartening to have RP retconned and thrown away. I don't want to put time into more RP that may just be scrapped or put effort into a friendship with someone who may be flaky or discourteous to the people around them. I will also wonder why someone is fantasia'ing and namechanging so much. Maybe they just can't settle on a concept, or maybe they have expectations too high, or maybe they're running from something or someone?

 

So I will plainly admit that yes, I will not go out of my way to RP with anyone who changes character concepts frequently nor will I be part of planning any extensive RP plots with them.

 

This what I don't understand. Why are your characters' sexual orientations so significant? I don't understand what the problem is unless you're specifically looking for romance? ...

 

I've RPed here a lot and can safely say that yes it can be a problem, and it's typically more a problem if you're not looking for romance. In my few years playing a straight female Midlander, I have found that 1) a lot of straight male characters and their players are looking for romance/sex/ERP and will bail when they realize that's not going to happen with your character, 2) a lot of gay male characters will not give most female characters (especially straight ones) the time of day, 3) a lot of people playing lesbians will either avoid your character if they know she's straight or will try to "seduce" her anyway even despite any obvious IC discomfort or lack of interest, and 4) a lot of fellow straight female characters will not pay much to mind to your character in RP (unless it's to fight over a male character, which also often ends up bleeding OOC). These are obviously generalizations, and there are a ton of characters and role-players who break these stereotypes. But it can totally be discouraging to try to find those people by wading through all the ones who do play into the unfortunate stereotypes.

 

That being said, though, and more onto the main topic... OP seems to have gone but to anyone feeling similarly: There are plenty of great role-players out there and yes, fortunately searching for them will inevitably lead you to finding some bad eggs instead. Take it in stride, move on, and keep looking. Someone not liking the race you play is not the end of the world. Ignore it and avoid those individuals. There is no single character concept or race that everyone will enjoy, so play what you enjoy and you'll find plenty of others who like your character, too. Every single race attracts different sort of complaints and/or creeps, unfortunately, so trying to find the *perfect* race is a losing battle. I also haven't seen a lot of hate toward the races that's particularly serious or vitriolic, so I'd recommend taking anything with a grain of salt and considering that maybe there's meant to be some humor behind it rather than malice.

[Mermaid]

I've RPed here a lot and can safely say that yes it can be a problem, and it's typically more a problem if you're not looking for romance. In my few years playing a straight female Midlander, I have found that 1) a lot of straight male characters and their players are looking for romance/sex/ERP and will bail when they realize that's not going to happen with your character, 2) a lot of gay male characters will not give most female characters (especially straight ones) the time of day, 3) a lot of people playing lesbians will either avoid your character if they know she's straight or will try to "seduce" her anyway even despite any obvious IC discomfort or lack of interest, and 4) a lot of fellow straight female characters will not pay much to mind to your character in RP (unless it's to fight over a male character, which also often ends up bleeding OOC). These are obviously generalizations, and there are a ton of characters and role-players who break these stereotypes. But it can totally be discouraging to try to find those people by wading through all the ones who do play into the unfortunate stereotypes.

 

Ugh, I guess that's fair. I've been doing too many tabletop RPGs honestly and nobody there seems to care 95% of the time. Characters getting along and having fun moments always seems to be the priority.

[Faye]

Ugh, I guess that's fair. I've been doing too many tabletop RPGs honestly and nobody there seems to care 95% of the time. Characters getting along and having fun moments always seems to be the priority.

 

Tabletop tends to be less sex/romance focused than a lot of online RP--probably due to the combination of both having more of a defined objective for the characters, as well as the awkwardness and reality check of usually being face to face or in voice chat with the other players.

[Chidori]

On a side note: I was SUPER thrown off by people wanting romance/sex RP. For the first bit of my RP in FFXIV it was all being badass, fighting bad guys ect kind of RP. I moved to Balmung and was a bit surprised by it. I was more used to tabletop - and you really don't have much of that. 

 

OP has already decided to throw in the towel, but figured I would add my two and a half cents. 

 

When it comes to Mateus, please remember it is new and growing. I haven't really rolled an alt there but I have heard folks pros and cons about it. I think the biggest point that keeps coming up is "It is fine as long as you find the right group." Which can be a touch discouraging. 

 

And really the same could more or less be said about Balmung. We have lots of great events and I have made friends outside my FC with lasting connections. But overall my time spent is with my FC folks. As someone who runs an FC, I like to keep mine on the small side. Since I want our folks to get personal attention. It has it's pros and cons, too many people and folks can get left out, too few - there aren't many to rp with. For me Balmung has been more positive over negative for the most part. 

 

Re-rolling a lot? That is always a hard one. I have a friend that tends to do that. I always adjust for them and thankfully it tends to be the same characters over and over again (maybe a time or two with a random one thrown in there) But it is really hard to do any kind of plotting with them since I don't know if in a week or two it will be dropped because they have a whim to be something else. 

 

I also have had FC person that did that. I really from the bottom of my heart want people to play what makes them happy. But it became the same issue as it was with my friend. And every time a new character would come around, we would set them up to get "hired" once again. Even did a small plot to have one of his old characters come back from the dead. 

 

I get alts aren't everyone's thing. But it is one of the reasons I like them. I have 2 that are primaries and one that I dabble on.  I can be my sweet au ra hippy flower child or my stoic sniper archer elezen or my punch it in the face hyur. I couldn't change my 2 "mains" I have fits over changing their hair styles sometimes >.>;; (yes, I am weird about that.)

[kamenkuro]

I think you might just be a bit sensitive. Me and my friends talk trash about lalafell all the time. It's a joke though. Few people seriously hate lalafell. You play a meme race you get memed on. It's like Dragoon jokes. Most people will gladly take a dragoon into a party, doesn't mean they won't giggle at their unconscious body. It's a bummer you don't get what you want, but there are a lot of other avenues to go through for roleplay. If you're not super into it and little things like that are pushing you away, maybe it isn't for you.

[Ria Regulus]

On 11/11/2017 at 5:08 AM, Mermaid said:

I understand the discrimination against OP's races. I don't agree with it but I understand it. "I'm sick of seeing Miqo'te." "Hyur are boring." "Lalafell are jokes." I'm sure we've all heard stuff like that. They're poor reasons but at least they're reasons

 

 

 

This what I don't understand. Why are your characters' sexual orientations so significant? I don't understand what the problem is unless you're specifically looking for romance? Now I've only RPed here a few times so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I have a cis, straight, monogamous, female Au Ra and I didn't even think to mention any of that in the information I have up on her. The few people who've RPed with me have never asked her sexual orientation nor have they tried to do any sort of romance or sex related RP. To be fair, I haven't gotten a lot of RP, heck, I haven't even had someone ask me to RP with them again. I'm 99% certain, however, that has to do with me not putting myself out there and has nothing to do with a detail that I've listed nowhere and nobody's even bothered to ask about.

Dead thread but lord has finding RP been rough

I have a straight character as well that has little to no interest in her as well.
I, personally, am plethora of words regarding sexual identity and gender identity.
Not all of my characters are this way, and I've noticed the only ones who garner much attention, regardless of how *well written* or diverse they are, are the gay characters.

I've tried starting FCs, running events, developing stories but I just *cant* seem to locate more than one or two people who want consistant, genuine, Non ERP RP.
It's gotten so baffling. 
People seem to hate Dice Rolls
People seem to hate Adventures or Events

People seem to hate plot lines that take longer that 4 minutes and less than 8 months 
People dont like systematic ranks or organization

What people DO like, it seems, is ERP and Club RP, and not much else.


It seems like the only thing *I* have been able to personally run across is the same types of RPers
Lurkers who only participate via Discord and barely *ever* Roleplay at all
People who want to Social RP maybe once a week or so and nothing further
People who get bored of XIV after a few weeks and switch between like 50 games
And the ERPers who want to fly straightaway into the hot tub.

Am I doing something wrong?
Is this just Balmung?
Is RP dying or am I just having the worst possible luck?
It's been like, around six or seven months like this now.

Edited May 27, 2022 by Ria Regulus