Roleplayer Uncertainty/Insecurity Theater

[Kallera]

Making the wiki page is currently daunting for me. I'm not sure how much is enough before I go to making a making connections thread. and so many are really elaborate!

[The Glowing Onyx]

I have a tendency to write characters with dark backgrounds, or try to play a villain IC often just so things aren't so Mary Sunshine all the time...but at the same time I am always worried my character will make people uncomfortable in some way. I just don't DO sunny characters well, though. I feel disconnected from them because they are just too damn happy about all the things.

 

It's especially difficult when...

 

A) As a villain character, people struggle not to dislike you OOC also. Just because my character is wringing her hands with lightning in the background, does not mean *I* am. :<

 

B) When a character with a dark background actually begins getting close to someone against all odds, and it comes time to have that talk about who you really are deep down, or what is going on...I worry that my backstory will completely ruin it for the other person because of whatever detail.

[Unnamed Mercenary]

Making the wiki page is currently daunting for me.  I'm not sure how much is enough before I go to making a making connections thread.  and so many are really elaborate!

 

Few wiki pages start out super-detailed. A lot are the product of months or years of being added to. Think of it as a character sheet. What kind of information would you want others to know about your character? What kind of information would you want public?

 

There's a lot of layouts and helpful people on the forums who can help you out if you're trying one out!

[Sylentmana]

My biggest worries are "am I being consistent" and "does this fall properly within lore boundaries". Sometimes I worry that there might be some lore I'm breaking without realizing it.

[Caspar]

I have a tendency to write characters with dark backgrounds, or try to play a villain IC often just so things aren't so Mary Sunshine all the time...but at the same time I am always worried my character will make people uncomfortable in some way. I just don't DO sunny characters well, though.

 

B) When a character with a dark background actually begins getting close to someone against all odds, and it comes time to have that talk about who you really are deep down, or what is going on...I worry that my backstory will completely ruin it for the other person because of whatever detail.

 

This is something I struggle terribly with. I've hesitated to establish close connections for my character and lost opportunities because I was concerned the generally tense, morose, or even tragic feel I instinctively favor would be depressing for them. I'm not as confident in my ability to supply things like light, happy slice of life or romance, so I hesitate to invest with players who want that because I fear I'll be a drag.

 

This is a shame because a powerful connection is really rewarding to me, but it's not as easy to find RP on my wavelength as it was when I was younger.

[Delilah Scythewood]

I tend to worry about my inspiration a lot. A couple of years ago, back when I played WoW, I could RP for weeks and weeks on end and would never get burned out or tired of it. I'd only stop if other people were around and would level alts or quest...only to jump right back into it. The last two years or so I have random periods where I flounder. It's like my brain locks my inspiration/ideas/etc. for roleplay behind a door with a coded combination. Sometimes I can open it back up quickly...other times it can take days or even weeks. It makes me insecure about starting up RP or RPing with others longterm because I worry about when one of those spurts might hit and how long they may last.

 

 

I get redundant with some of my word choice. I don't mean to do it, but later I'll look back on my writing and heavily criticize it. 'Ugh, I used 'little bit' and 'softly' too many times in that damn post. Good going.'

 

 

I enjoy writing darker themes mixed with fluff and happiness to create a balance of hope and despair in much of my writing. Sometimes I lean towards one or the other depending on how the aforementioned inspiration is doing. Then I get fidgety and fret over whether I'm doing too much or too little of one or the other.

 

 

Time. I am poly and have two relationships, work as a nanny for a couple of households, help with storylines and events as well as play other games. Even when I warn people about having delicate spurts of time available, I still sometimes get those messages of 'you never spend enough time with me'. Nowadays they don't happen as often and when they do? I usually just block the person unless they approach the subject in a cordial/respectful way. But these days it's one of the things I'm paranoid the most about.

[Ysolda Merwin]

I'm just terrible at initiating RP. I'm the kind of person that sits around thinking; "Oh boy, I sure hope someone stops by to RP with me today!", then gets disappointed when nothing happens. I'm doing my best to try and make some ties in the RP community here so I have some pals to help get me started, but it's always daunting and is never without that long list of questions. 

 

- What if they don't like my characters?

- What if they don't like me?

- What if they think I'm not good enough to RP with them?

- What if I do something wrong and it puts them off?

- Etc, etc...

[Verad]

Sometimes I worry that people think the character is a joke. Then I remember that of course they do, and move along.

 

Most of my other anxieties are centered around my LS and have more to do with mechanical complexity and balancing the need to make things interesting with the need to accommodate new players, and so are of limited value here.

 

Updated to add: I also worry now that people think I am pretentious as a player, and then remember that they definitely do, and move along again.

[Iteza]

Chat scroll.

 

When it's real, it's real. Im not intimidated by it, but I lose my mind trying to keep track of what's going on so I don't miss anything. I hate missing people's posts or making someone feel ignored. So my big worry is I missed something that could have evolved into awesome long term rp. I also worry that -I- could intereact, without realizing something is already going on, and interrupt. I hate being that person who interrupts someone else's rp, or swoops in and hijacks it. I think it's super rude. So in quick chat moving locations I may forgo interacting at all because I can't get a quick enough grasp of everything due to scroll.

[Amnesic]

Chat scroll.

 

When it's real, it's real. Im not intimidated by it, but I lose my mind trying to keep track of what's going on so I don't miss anything. I hate missing people's posts or making someone feel ignored. So my big worry is I missed something that could have evolved into awesome long term rp. I also worry that -I- could intereact, without realizing something is already going on, and interrupt. I hate being that person who interrupts someone else's rp, or swoops in and hijacks it. I think it's super rude. So in quick chat moving locations I may forgo interacting at all because I can't get a quick enough grasp of everything due to scroll.

 

I definitely feel this. I have missed stuff like this before thanks to chat scroll and it drives me crazy when a lot of paragraphs are being tossed around and I am waiting for a response. Did I miss it? Did they see mine? My internet connection can be finicky sometimes and I have to wonder sometimes if my message actually went through. Though, that part is probably paranoia.

 

I fear interrupting too, but at least you can /tell to ask if it's too much of a bother to join in. Of course, that kinda ruins immersion too and it is still a tad rude.

 

 

On the other subjects, why is it that my characters end up with grim or dark backstories? Sheesh, I even tried to write my newest creation as happy-go-lucky and it turned grim. I seriously do not understand it.

[Teadrinker]

I feel like I annoy the shit out of people with excessive OOC communication due to past experiences where there wasn't enough.

 

....No, really sometimes I feel like I'm drawing flowcharts and stuff that led to this exact moment until people are like "I get it, no worries."

[Unnamed Mercenary]

I feel like I annoy the shit out of people with excessive OOC communication due to past experiences where there wasn't enough.

 

....No, really sometimes I feel like I'm drawing flowcharts and stuff that led to this exact moment until people are like "I get it, no worries."

 

I honestly prefer that over radio silence and then finding out later I triggered someone or they were unhappy with a scene. ...There's a time and place for it, but I think a lighthearted OOC conversation can help keep a scene going sometimes. Especially if the IC motivations are still being worked on. Or if there are potential IC issues that could arise that'd be easily solved with a simple "what?! I need some clarification."

[Nero]

Coming up with a Doman name that doesn't sound like something ripped out of an anime or Samurai Warriors is hard.

 

Also, names in general. I have a rule that all of my names need to be phonetically and aesthetically pleasing--in short, they need to look and sound "cool". It's a careful balance that must be achieved.

[Nyx Fairclough]

I have some worries that I never thought would come back to me. When I roleplayed in other games, I'd gotten so established within the community, I didn't have to worry about the "intro phase." We ALL know the intro phase. It's when you're new and you're having to get to know everyone...yadda yadda.

 

I experienced this a lot tonight, as I finally started establishing myself on the rp scene in Quicksand. I always worry that I'm going to interrupt someone's scene. Or I'm always worrying that they don't want to roleplay with me if I don't look like I've been in the game a long time. I also fret over /tells. I'll sometimes tell to someone before I rp at them (not ALL the time) and then worry because it might seem like I'm obsessive or annoying...when in reality I'm trying to feel them out to see if they're interested or not.

 

So, in reality, I guess it's the following:

 

-Annoying the hell out of people with poking into their rp

-The extremely DAUNTING task of finding a free company to rp within (this is a HUGE one to me)

-OOC messaging about stuff

-Getting established within the community.

 

 

I'm trying man!

[RavieRaptor]

I'm always worried my characters aren't good enough for RP and having never get RP bites.

 

I spent a lot of money (a couple hundred) on fantasias and name-changes alone trying to make the perfect character for everyone to like, despite knowing not everyone will like me.

 

I post multiple threads on the Making connections thread with not many bites, having to bump constantly to get some replies.

 

I'm also paranoid ooc rumors are being spread about me and people talking smack about my characters/me behind my back.

[Aoi Fukiku]

I'm always worried my characters aren't good enough for RP and having never get RP bites.

 

I spent a lot of money (a couple hundred) on fantasias and name-changes alone trying to make the perfect character for everyone to like, despite knowing not everyone will like me.

 

I post multiple threads on the Making connections thread with not many bites, having to bump constantly to get some replies.

 

I'm also paranoid ooc rumors are being spread about me and people talking smack about my characters/me behind my back.

I would suggest to stick to one concept so those you interact with can get to know you. If you are changing constantly it makes it hard for others to get to know your character. I also say play and have fun with what you want. Don't take in account wanting to make other people like you. If you have to change for them then they probably aren't with your time.

 

Now, as for RP, do you go to events or walk up and just start rping with people it do you just in the connection threads and hope for bites? I understand people can have anxiety but it is important to take a leap. Walk up to people. Start random RP. Ask for directions to some random location. Help you find your lost cat, anything. You'd be surprised at how many contacts you can make by just selling cupcakes around a city state.

[Perth]

I'm always worried my characters aren't good enough for RP and having never get RP bites.

 

I spent a lot of money (a couple hundred) on fantasias and name-changes alone trying to make the perfect character for everyone to like, despite knowing not everyone will like me.

 

I post multiple threads on the Making connections thread with not many bites, having to bump constantly to get some replies.

 

I'm also paranoid ooc rumors are being spread about me and people talking smack about my characters/me behind my back.

 

Honestly, consider that the frequent character changing might be what's not leading to many bites. A lot of people are driven off by the idea that a character they just roleplayed with yesterday that their own is slowly befriending is now replaced with an entirely new one every week. That was my problem for a while, even, and finally I just disciplined myself to stick with a character until it was dead. Suddenly, I was surrounded with contacts and friends for my characters. I'd like to roleplay with you if our times match up, but only if you intend to keep the character semi-long term.

[Mermaid]

I feel like I annoy the shit out of people with excessive OOC communication due to past experiences where there wasn't enough.

 

....No, really sometimes I feel like I'm drawing flowcharts and stuff that led to this exact moment until people are like "I get it, no worries."

 

I honestly prefer that over radio silence and then finding out later I triggered someone or they were unhappy with a scene. ...There's a time and place for it, but I think a lighthearted OOC conversation can help keep a scene going sometimes. Especially if the IC motivations are still being worked on. Or if there are potential IC issues that could arise that'd be easily solved with a simple "what?! I need some clarification."

 

This please!

 

While it hasn't happened in FFXIV as I simply haven't done enough I have had this problem elsewhere. Was roleplaying with someone and they quickly got bored of it. Later admitted they wanted to incorporate some mature thing I won't go into. After talking to me a bit and seeing my character they apparently thought I wouldn't be okay with it.* Truth was it wasn't something that bothered me and I didn't care so long as my character was not harmed.

 

* I apparently seem SUPER innocent/conservative/whatever to some people. To give an example, going through high school people would think I didn't swear and then were shocked when I finally had a reason to. I'll admit there's some truth to it but come on people I'm not some delicate flower!

[Daeva]

Since coming to this server to actually roleplay and not just do content it's been one hell of a ride even if I've played other MMO's and MUD's before at a young age. From someone who has been there... Taking a chance to walk up and start talking to someone is so worth it. You won't always strike gold (as explained below) but I've met incredible people that make it worth it over my time playing! 

 

Lately it's just the dedication of roleplay. You can't really just talk to someone random and be like "ermahgerd-wanna-do-long-plot-together?" cos that doesn't always work. Schedules. Job. Family. OOC. Being out of practice takes a lot of confidence outta you so I'm still trying to figure out how to connect A to B and approach someone about a serious RP and since I'm new... I wonder if I won't have anywhere to fit in since everyone has their own groups/storylines going on. I wanna be included but I don't wanna intrude, yanno? 

 

I had to find out the hard way that there are some undercover people who are all about the badonk and it really made me wonder if I should tone done Daeva's personality. I'd become friends with a person and we'd eventually plot something while ooc chatting and doing some content. They seem hella cool at first until I either don't agree to something they want (usually some "u want some fuk???" smut that comes in WAY too early in our plot and feels unecessary) or start flirting with me oocly (usually involves them asking weird questions and treating me like I'm Daeva or just as flirty as her *SPOILER ALERT-I'M NOT* 

In the end they'd ghost on me or just drop out of contact and move onto someone else. Real classy, mang. For awhile I thought it was my fault and with me just wanting to fix things I approach them to hash it out but it really just ends in arguing or them making fun of me for not being jive with their "needs". I know I don't have to do things if I'm not comfortable but it still stings, a lot, bc you really believe that they were interested in being your friend. 

 

I also feel like hot garbage bc I can't be at every event in my current FC cos I'm usually out and about or still pushing OT at work :c Not something I can really change since real life > roleplay. Silly I know but I can't help but wonder if I'll just fade in the background if I miss everything cool that happens. 

[Aelfred]

Since coming to this server to actually roleplay and not just do content it's been one hell of a ride even if I've played other MMO's and MUD's before at a young age. From someone who has been there... Taking a chance to walk up and start talking to someone is so worth it. You won't always strike gold (as explained below) but I've met incredible people that make it worth it over my time playing! 

 

Lately it's just the dedication of roleplay. You can't really just talk to someone random and be like "ermahgerd-wanna-do-long-plot-together?" cos that doesn't always work. Schedules. Job. Family. OOC. Being out of practice takes a lot of confidence outta you so I'm still trying to figure out how to connect A to B and approach someone about a serious RP and since I'm new... I wonder if I won't have anywhere to fit in since everyone has their own groups/storylines going on. I wanna be included but I don't wanna intrude, yanno? 

 

I had to find out the hard way that there are some undercover people who are all about the badonk and it really made me wonder if I should tone done Daeva's personality. I'd become friends with a person and we'd eventually plot something while ooc chatting and doing some content. They seem hella cool at first until I either don't agree to something they want (usually some "u want some fuk???" smut that comes in WAY too early in our plot and feels unecessary) or start flirting with me oocly (usually involves them asking weird questions and treating me like I'm Daeva or just as flirty as her *SPOILER ALERT-I'M NOT* 

In the end they'd ghost on me or just drop out of contact and move onto someone else. Real classy, mang. For awhile I thought it was my fault and with me just wanting to fix things I approach them to hash it out but it really just ends in arguing or them making fun of me for not being jive with their "needs". I know I don't have to do things if I'm not comfortable but it still stings, a lot, bc you really believe that they were interested in being your friend. 

 

I also feel like hot garbage bc I can't be at every event in my current FC cos I'm usually out and about or still pushing OT at work :c Not something I can really change since real life > roleplay. Silly I know but I can't help but wonder if I'll just fade in the background if I miss everything cool that happens. 

This just describes a ton of RP'ers in general in this community:  Needy. They need a ridiculous amount of accommodations and the 'rules' of RP vary so strongly from one to the next. Some people go so far to try and have me script my RP and list out every detail of what is going to happen and what is the expectation of it. I find few to RP just for the sake of RP and generating story. Unfortunately at least for me, these great majority disappear after a week or hop on another character to play for a few month's streak, and go back and forth, or IRL gobbles them up.

 

What keeps me hooked to the game is my ability to make RP happen anywhere and the ease I can make walk ups for people to exercise their characters. As Pawn Stars says, you never know what'll come through those doors (quicksand doors). I enjoy seeing new RP'ers who make their first steps into the game and give them a taste of quality where they can weave through AFK'ers and ERP magnets. The Quicksand gets a horrible rep but those with their noses stuck so high to the ceiling forget that this is where first-time RP'ers go. The main hub. You gotta sift through mud to dig out the gold and diamonds. People become so obsessed with stigmas and maintaining their image they forget to enjoy the RP that is right under their noses.

 

P.S., Some of the best advice I can give for being a successful roleplayer is to entirely detach your OOC self from the RP. Lots of people want to jump into FC's and other groups and get immediately connected. Discord calls, discuss X and Y in the real world. Unfortunately the internet is not an accepting place and this can cause -major- friction. The Identity of you should be your characters and your characters alone. The best RP's I had are where I have no clue who was on the other side of the keyboard and our only focus was the story at hand.

Per Example, I'll relay myself only because I'm not bothered if these facts deter or upset people:

I am a Southern Baptist Texan Libertarian. I am CiS-gender Male (hate that term personally). I believe there are only 2 genders with exceptions of mutations in development. I own lots of firearms. I believe in right to bear arms. I am very confrontational and 'in your face, shake my hand' type of personality. I don't believe Trump is Hitler. I talk issues out on the internet as I would IRL. I talk about contemporary and sensitive issues openly in person and online forums (as you can see here).

In my personal experiences, I've come to clash alot with RP'ers who tend to be on the opposite end of my political and social spectrum, and how I handle RP. I've found most of the community to be strong-leftist idealists. I will not say in this post which side is right or wrong out of respect for their opinions and forum rules.

I've found the RP community on FF is entirely counter-culture from where I started (runescape), which is not talking about problems and spreading rumor mills on linkpearls or FC chat that might not be entirely true. The use of screenshots is limited to none. There is heavily scripted RP and players are extremely sensitive to various material and for not agreeing with their methods or own political or social views. If you stick to your guns and are not wanting to change the way you RP or how you view the world in whatever X topic, there are strong odds you will be ostracized or belittled for being 'uncooperative'.

Disclaimer:I present none of the above information to promote nor belittle personal views, religions, etc of others, to abide by Forum Rules Post 2, Section 3 (http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=19139).

 

tl;dr version: Roleplay to have fun with your characters but do not expect people to follow your own rules and needs. Avoid Stigmas and prejudices, such as 'everyone in the Quicksand is a terrible RP'er'. This is where mostly everyone starts. AVOID identifying who you are oocly in RP if you want it to go as smoothly as possible. The internet is intolerant and unmerciful, and this simply opens the can of worms that can soil your RP and plots as it has done for me countless times.

[Liriell]

As someone who is just starting, I have a lot of insecurities. First of all, I don't know how or where to begin, and second, I'm not sure about my own character... mostly about which race to play. When I transferred to Balmung and the game asked for a name change I saw that as a signal to start a  a "new" character and changed my race to Au Ra since it would be weird to me to play the same lalafell as I used to in Cactuar but with a different name. The problem is... although I think an Au Ra would be better for RP with the kind of story I have in mind, I'm not entirely sure if I'll get used to it. I mean, I really like Au Ra race, but I still love lalafells too ;w;

[Gegenji]

As someone who is just starting, I have a lot of insecurities. First of all, I don't know how or where to begin, and second, I'm not sure about my own character... mostly about which race to play. When I transferred to Balmung and the game asked for a name change I saw that as a signal to start a  a "new" character and changed my race to Au Ra since it would be weird to me to play the same lalafell as I used to in Cactuar but with a different name. The problem is... although I think an Au Ra would be better for RP with the kind of story I have in mind, I'm not entirely sure if I'll get used to it. I mean, I really like Au Ra race, but I still love lalafells too ;w;

 

If it helps, I found that the thing that really got me more comfortable with MMO RP and the like was... well... getting some actual RP under your belt. I just started RPing in MMOs with FFXIV, and it was pretty daunting and I spend a good part of the first day wondering if I had gotten in over my head and made a big mistake.

 

As I did more RP, though, I got a bit more... used? to using my character and kind of honed him and his personality into what it is now. I would hope the same happens with your character, or you figure out quickly enough that things aren't fitting quite right so you can switch to something more enjoyable. The main point of doing all this is to have fun, after all, right? :blush:

 

(And even if you're not playing a Lala, you can still RP with 'em!)

[Flynn Bladebreaker]

I worry that I'm not a good enough writer to some people, or that my OOC behaviour puts people off from wanting anything to do with my character.

 

When I started RPing 10 years ago it had ups and downs, it was a learning curve. Started in Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy, then SWTOR, then GW2, WoW, then finally FFXIV where I actually felt at home for the first few years. Without seeking or planning, my character got in a romantic relationship which also lead to an OOC one, so this game is kinda special to me for that. Sadly a year ago we put trust in a DM to help us with a story, but it ended up dragging on for a few months and made our characters locked in our own house. After that "arc" finally ended, we took a break from RPing.

 

Now that I've come back to the RP scene (or trying to), I'm bumping into a lot of RPers who claim to not want to RP with me because they have better writing skills. Now I don't think I'm bad. I'm simple. My character talks more than he actually emotes through paragraphs, and I use the ingame emotes to compensate. I'm not very descriptive when it comes to writing body language and a ton of other information and maybe even a single word in a paragraph. If I'm RPing with someone and they mostly talked and used ingame emotes, very minimum /em stuff, I'm completely fine with that. I've been told "that's bad RP" or "that's bad writing", and you know, it's definitely not either of them. It's just a simplistic form I prefer to do, as long as my character gets the point across.

 

It could even just be the fact that I like to treat my character as if he was an NPC you can interact with in the game and bring along for your RP plots.

 

TLDR: I get put off RPing with people who think I'm not good enough to RP with them, and that puts me back in my hidey hole.

[ExAtomos]

I also feel like hot garbage bc I can't be at every event in my current FC cos I'm usually out and about or still pushing OT at work :c Not something I can really change since real life > roleplay. Silly I know but I can't help but wonder if I'll just fade in the background if I miss everything cool that happens. 

 

This is actually a good point and something I've noticed myself over the years. For reasons, I have a shit ton of free time to play and do. I tend to get on better with people who also spend a lot of time in game. But my rp style is very open ended (all of my plotlines seem to go on interminably ), which is a time sink in my experience. Folks with more RL stuff going on may do well with groups that set up scheduled events so you know well in advance that X thing is going to happen on Y day and you don't have to worry about missing much outside of that (and even if you have to miss it, there's usually some sort of transcript posted somewhere.)

[Roen]

If I'm RPing with someone and they mostly talked and used ingame emotes' date=' very minimum /em stuff, I'm completely fine with that. I've been told "that's bad RP" or "that's bad writing", and you know, it's definitely not either of them. [/quote']

 

I am kind of astounded to read this. I RP with plenty of people whose style is exactly this. And some of those scenes have been the most hilarious and entertaining scenes I've ever taken part in.

 

I really hope most RPers out there are open to many different types of RP, else they will be missing out. Where it be big long paragraphs, or emotes that include some inner thoughts, or simple in game emotes without a lot of custom emotes, it can ALL potentially be great RP.